For 30-40k I am really surprised that the trainer hasn’t found you something already…
You are not that person that has the mile-long criterion-list on FB, are you? I’ll post it here for posterity:
Looking for a UNICORN
Budget to match.
Please do not bother to message me unless your unicorn matches darn near this description!
Wanted: 5-8yo draft cross gelding that is more Warmblood looking than draft, or a thick Warmblood. Height has to be 16.3-17h. We can clip feathers but we cannot make turkey platter feet into dinner plates, or 10” of bone in to 7”. We can put shoes on 16.2 1/2 and it will be 16.3, but 16.1h won’t work.
BOMBPROOF is essential… meaning, he will have to reliably ride down the road while assholes pass way-to-close at 60mph, AND hack alone in the deep deep woods while deer suddenly jump across the path. He will also have to happily tolerate self-absorbed trail users that allow (encourage?) obnoxious untrained, and of course unleashed, Fido to aggressively bark at the horse because “he thinks it’s a big dog”.
This magical unicorn will need to be broke, polished is not necessary, but must be broke and balanced. That means, he is able to walk, trot, and canter with the correct number of beats, and for the record that is 4, 2, and 3, respectively. No trantering, no four beaters, and while I understand you love your gaited horse, that won’t work either. He must know his leads, how to basically hold himself cantering down a long side, and in a more than mostly balanced way will need to be able to trot and canter 25-30m circles. He ABSOLUTELY MUST have a super comfortable trot and canter. Like riding on a cloud. If he goes like a motorcycle or a Mac truck, is a tripper, or is sloppy with his front or hind end, I’ll pass now. If he has suspension and is athletic, we admire him, but not what we are looking for at this time.
This unicorn will be jumped lightly throughout his life, but never over 2’6”. So, he will need to know how to go from one side to the other of wooden poles, without creating a pile of toothpicks. If he has only jumped 2’, that’s fine, but if there is a better chance of him going through a small jump, rather than over it, not our guy.
You know those owners who groom their horses for 1… 2… 3 hours? The ones who actually use a curry, a hard brush, a medium and then a soft, and then an extra soft brush? Yes. That. This unicorn will need to tolerate that. More preferable if he likes it.
He will need to respect an owner who is very passive and sweet, the kind that are too nice to yank the lead rope and tell them to stop being a pushy asshole. Also the kind who don’t half halt too hard, and the type that don’t correct a dancing horse in the wash stall. Only the most mannerly, gentle geldings need apply.
While the rider definitely isn’t going to the Olympics this year (in fact…is anyone?), they have been riding their whole life and do take regular lessons. The rider is correct but very passive. The unicorn must be able to take a joke, unlike some of the people who will read this ad and post their troll-like remarks. If your plow horse or lazy plug expects the rider to carry around their front end, that won’t happen here. If your horse needs a whip, spurs, and a cattle prod to make it trot, I know plenty of people looking for those, but it’s not this rider. If it needs a twisted bike chain in its mouth to halt at X, please consider finding a quality trainer for you and your horse, before selling it.
This unicorn needs to be the same on property as he is off property, he will be shown lightly. He also needs to be the same whether he is ridden every day or once every other week. No exceptions. If he has to be given 8 tubes of perfect prep and lunged until he has eyeball sweat, just because he had two days off, this is absolutely not the right horse. Not even a little. Not even if he shits golden nuggets.
Lastly… color. Yes. For real. No grays. Unlike me, this client cares if her horses are covered in poop stains. It gets worse… gasp… no bays. Why? For logic I can’t grasp. Now, if it’s the shiniest, most amazing blood bay, AND has every single bit that I wrote above, it’s worth sending a video. Or maybe I’m just naive, but I was once told you don’t ride color.
I was also told you don’t ride xrays, you ride the horse. But as you guessed, this client rides the xrays. Every last nook and cranny will be imaged, I promise. The horse will be glowing by the end of the vetting. If you know your trusty steed has some issues, and they’re “minor”, let me know ahead of time, please. If he has broken side bones or 25 chips on weight bearing joints, or is full of bird shot, he isn’t a prospective unicorn for my rider.
The unicorn who matches all of this, will get to live in a private backyard castle with the very very best care, all the way around. The best feed, farrier, vets, dentists, etc. It is a 5 stall barn in the backyard of the buyer, with constant care and attention. There is an indoor, paddocks with sheds, and miles and miles of trails and fields to ride in. It’s a truly exceptional forever home with a “do-everything” type of owner.
Budget is equivalent to the requirements. Please send confirmation pictures, videos of flatwork as well as ground manners (on cross ties, being bathed, etc), and off property riding.