Is this a reasonable, not offensive ask?

[Rel6]

I’m a little bit surprised by some of the pessimism here. OP, I’m a h/j rider and I do exactly what you’re trying to do. I think as long as you’re clear with all involved, it is entirely reasonable to expect everyone to play nice.

My trainer connected me with both a dressage trainer and an eventing trainer, and I take monthly dressage lessons and train with the eventing coach at events. I’ve also done a few eventing clinics over the past two years.

I absolutely agree with what people are saying about the differences with reading a cross country element or riding over terrain. But I don’t agree with the extent to which people seem to think the jumping skills don’t translate. There are a lot of h/j riders who ride “forward but defensive” just from the types of horses they ride - greenies, horses with a stop, horses half-broke they’re trying to get around, etc.

Last year I was showing my horse in the 1.0m jumpers and BN eventing, and even with limited access to cross country schooling/instruction between events, we were able to have successful, confident outings at BN by training with my h/j instructor at home and meeting up with my eventing instructor for events. If we decide to move up to novice this year, I do expect to try for more regular cross country schooling for both us. I don’t think anything you’ve said is unreasonable, especially if your horse is naturally brave.

[Pennywell_Bay]

@Rel6

I’m a little bit surprised by some of the pessimism here.

Same.

[Rel6]

Totally true - and I’ve know a few outdoor arenas built on such a slant you get to jump both up and downhill during a single course!

OP said she has a good, forthright relationship with her trainer. I read the post as more of a gut-check, not based on fear of asking. Absolutely, there are a lot of trainers who would be resentful. But it sounds like OP is already not lining trainer’s pockets with show bills, and spends winters without trainer, so it may be more palatable.

[OTTBs]

Me three. Though maybe I had it easier since I started eventing in the flatlands of the Midwest. Now that I’ve moved to Virginia, I’m wondering whether I’m up for BN after 3 seasons (pre-COVID) of eventing Novice. I also lived previously where there were 2 public XC courses to use for free, including water. I never, ever had a jumping coach for eventing and I restarted my first OTTB myself. Hunter lessons on my eventing horses, yes. Not one XC lesson to date. In the Midwest though, the jumps were rarely on any kind of terrain. I think the jumps out east are bigger too, but I have yet to actually walk a recognized XC course. (This year, I hope.)

[candyappy]

@TinFoilHat

So my questions are:

• Is it rude to reach out to trainers in my area to effectively ask if they would be my secondary, ‘eventing-specific’ trainer/contact? Obviously could not ask for any in house-student benefits, like invites to barn events or clinics and stuff, but frankly my trainer owns the barn so when she’s gone, it’s literally just me which can get lonely. All of my seriously-competing friends back home (Ohio) have several trainers for whatever they are trying to accomplish (i.e. dressage trainer, jumping trainer, one acquaintance even has a separate cross country coach?) which is where I’m stealing inspiration.
• I’ve already planted the seed with my trainer by expressing an interest in doing a couple of dressage lessons (and asking for a trainer rec - she had none), but in a similar vein to the above, is it rude to ask her to ‘share’ my business?

Thank you in advance!

It is a business arrangement plain and simple. She isn’t a trainer for the discipline you want to learn, so I don’t see why it is wrong to find another trainer to teach you what she can’t?

[dmveventer]

I think what people were responding to was OP’s suggestion that if her H/J trainer wasn’t okay with her going outside the program that she would just go eventing with the H/J trainer, which is not a good idea. Your situation is different since you have clinics and a discipline-specific coach that can help you out at events. People switch disciplines all the time without having to completely start over, but there are important nuances that only a knowledgeable teacher can point out.

Can a lot of people wing it around a BN x-country course and make it home? Sure, I see it all the time. Do a lot of those people make me fear for their safety while they go around? Also a resounding yes. And many of those people do have eventing coaches and still don’t have enough respect for the sport or the potential risks. I’m not saying that OP falls into that category, but from the initial posts it wasn’t clear if she really knew what she was getting into.

[Rel6]

I get that, but I don’t think OP’s suggestion that she could dabble in lower level eventing with help from a h/j coach is unreasonable. Maybe, as one poster pointed out, this is partly influenced by being in an area where there isn’t a ton of terrain. But if you can school water, banks, and ditches and know your horse is going to say yes to those elements - and depending on OP’s ability and horse - they could be able to be successful (not just survive) at BN.

I’m not trying to say anyone should go half-ass it without a trainer. For some people, it would be entirely reasonable to ride with a h/j trainer at home and go event. I have friends who do this quite successfully. For others, it would be scary and dangerous. I know those people too…

All I’m saying is we have no idea of OP’s skill, her trainer’s skill or background, or her mount, and some of the comments read like we’re assuming a rider on a made schoolmaster hunter where OP is looping the reins around a 2ft course.

[dmveventer]

@Rel6

All I’m saying is we have no idea of OP’s skill, her trainer’s skill or background, or her mount, and some of the comments read like we’re assuming a rider on a made schoolmaster hunter where OP is looping the reins around a 2ft course.

In the OP she said that she was looking to gain some eventing experience herself before beginning to introduce her horse to those elements. She also stated that her trainer has no experience in dressage or x-country riding. OP mentioned in a later post that she did some mini-trials in her junior years, so not totally new to the discipline but not really in a position to go out on her own with an inexperienced horse.

Her implication that lower-level eventing doesn’t require any skills beyond what you’d get from a H/J environment was wrong, which from subsequent posts I think she gets. I would really disagree that going out and jumping a handful of banks and ditches while schooling is enough to set a person up to successfully navigate a horse trial. Stringing 12-15 x-country jumps together over terrain in whatever weather you show up in with the show atmosphere going on all around isn’t something to take lightly. Again, just because someone could do it without injuring themselves or their horse doesn’t mean they should. I wasn’t as prepared as I should have been when I made my eventing debut at BN; I had an experienced and willing horse so we got around just fine but it was not a great feeling on course.

I don’t think anyone is suggesting OP needs to be in a full event program, but she DOES need to go out x-country schooling at least a few times with someone legitimately knowledgeable who can help her and her horse safely adapt to the new discipline and build confidence so they can go out on their own later.

[hallie2]

your trainer provides a service for which you pay her, so she works for you. I know trainers are prickly about these sort of requests but imagine you are sick. your internist isn’t trained in the particular speciality which covers your illness. Do you not go elsewhere for specialized care? why are trainers different? eventing/dressage is outside of her area of expertise. why not sit down w her and have an honest conversation, being sure to start w how much you appreciate everything she’s done for you. you want to understand dressage in a deeper way, you want to go cross country etc. at the same time acknowledging her skills in hunter jumper land. make her want to help you.

[RAyers]

I board with my eventing trainer. I go and get lessons from my jumper trainer and my dressage trainer.

We are a multidisciplinary discipline. We NEED multiple trainers to be able to function and be safe in our sport.

[trakehners]

My pessimism is born from the H/J trainers I know who couldn’t dream of getting a client safely around a XC course/absolutely refuse to openly admit that and instead frame it as a personal slight, and my old (H/J) trainer who had a very dramatic meltdown over the fact that I wanted to return to eventing and was willing to leave her program/that barn to do it because I knew she wouldn’t support me in that ambition/seeking out the outside help necessary to be successful, lol.

Of course, I also know my old barn owner (not the aforementioned trainer) who is primarily H/J but grew up doing everything and takes her students out to mini trials and hunter paces because she wants them to learn those skills too. There are obviously people like that and I have a lot of respect for them. I just know way too many of the former type of trainer and I’m appropriately bitter about it after the amount of trouble they’ve caused for a whole host of people I know

[Bogie]

@LCDR

Go fox hunting.

I started off eventing and then sort of fell into fox hunting. When going back to eventing I had a world of experience and confidence that I had lacked the first time around doing cross country.

Yes! The biggest risk is that you’ll fall in love with foxhunting and never get around to eventing. Foxhunting is SO. MUCH. FUN.

As for multiple trainers, I came from an eventing background where it was completely normal to have a trainer for each phase. That said, I had a horse that did not gel with my dressage instructor. She was very reasonable and we discussed who might be better suited to training me on that horse. We found someone we both agreed on and the two of them worked with me together. That might not happen with every trainer.

However, it’s your horse, your money and your goals. You should be able to work with whomever will help you achieve what you want.

I might start by saying to a trainer that you want to take a specific clinic to try out something she doesn’t teach – like cross country jumping. That might be a lot less threatening than saying you’re going to try riding with a different trainer.

[Weezer]

I grew up in the H/J world and I have always believed there is value in taking lessons from various coaches as it broadens your exposure and allows you to learn from different perspectives. I suggest you just tell your coach that you are going to take lessons from other discipline-specific coaches and you look forward to applying the foundational skills that she taught you.

Then NEVER talk to one coach about your lessons with another coach. If you’re trying to sort out contradictory instructions, find a way of asking questions without revealing the source of confusion.

[pony_grandma]

A safe way to start since you’re not independent on hauling yet is to make a connection so you can audit lessons or clinics, xc schoolings.

You can learn alot by observing. Learn the lingo, learn to see correctness. Go for it. Each discipline has taught me some forms of correctness.

[dmveventer]

Great idea. Also volunteering at any local events once the season gets started. Good way to learn and make connections in the community.

[TwiSedai]

I’m in N AL so not too far. As far as coaches, there actually are some decent ones around here for eventing. Look into Hart Farm in Florence (used to be Meadow Run), Jim Graham is still there and I know several people who have gone there for a weekend or even a week of training with him (he comes to our barn in Hsv at least once a month too, I have to ride with him on Sun on my green bean who can barely steer so should be interesting )

[TwiSedai]

Hey I think I know you

[leighbo009]

You do