TLDR: I know this is probably a resounding yes from some of you, but have you chosen to limit what you do with your horse or opt out of certain activities because the activity just sets your horse up for a melt down? Does it continue to bother you that you can’t do those certain activities? (For example, trail riding in a group larger than 3 or 4.)
The long story:
I have been riding since I was eleven. Totally non-horsey family. Did pony club. Worked on a Morgan farm through college. Have tried a variety of horse activities. I consider myself a solid intermediate rider, but my confidence falters easily if a horse plays up too much—probably can attribute that to having spent most of my life having to ride horses that are green or have issues due to the budget I have to spend on a horse.
My current horse is a 12-year-old quarter horse mare who definitely had less training than I thought when I purchased her in December of 2020. And what wasn’t apparent when I tried her is that she also has a pretty reactive personality. I was able to trace her path to me and speak to previous owners, and this reactive, or “quirky” as the last owner called it, personality has been with her from the get go.
The first summer I had her there were definitely some over-reactions that scared me and I considered moving her on. My barn owner (former trainer who has decided in her mid-sixties to not train anymore) thought we could work through it and I just needed to “man-up.” In September that year I sent her to my barn owner’s trainer (natural horsemanship basics) for a month. I know a month isn’t long, but he only had that available in his schedule and he knew he was sending her back to me under my barn owner’s supervision. And she was reactive for him, too. I watched him work her and left crying because somehow I’d bought a horse that was this way. But I went twice a week to work with him and things improved.
The next summer we went to our first local show for ranch pleasure. She was far better than the previous year but still reactive to new things or old things in new places. Especially man-made things—natural things like stepping over logs or through crappy footing on the trail doesn’t bother her in the least. In the ranch riding class she gave the poles the hairy eyeball. I already knew we were out of the ribbons because she was highly anxious through the pattern, but that didn’t matter to me; I just wanted to finish the pattern for schooling. I let her lower her head and look at the poles, and I waited her out without forcing her other than keeping her facing straight toward them. She finally decided to go, stepped over one pole, then changed her mind and backed up. When she backed up she caught the pole with her foot and it rolled. Well, that was the end of the world. She leapt up in the air and to the right—I fell off hard to the left. Considered selling her again but felt like I was stuck—horse shopping on a limited budget and in the extreme northeast of this country sucks. Worked harder at exposing her to things at home. And she got better.
But that reactivity is always there. And it seems like every time I think, “There. I’m fully committed to this horse,” something happens that shakes my confidence. This year we’ve had some real successes. I only went to one show, but she was Limit Ranch Pleasure champion. (Yes, it’s just a small local show, but still.) I’ve let a couple of friends who are good riders ride her, one on a trail ride (just the two of us) and one in a Friends & Family ring class with me at the show. After three years of ground work and persistence, we were finally able to walk through a couple of “curtain” type obstacles under saddle at our home barn. I’ve finally cantered on the trail with a group of 3 (2 other horses), but with people I trust to pull up their own horses if things go wrong. Overall I was feeling pretty confident that we’d gotten over the hump of extreme reactivity.
That brings me to yesterday. We went on a trail ride with 8 other horses. It was mostly walking, and things were going pretty well. The three in front of me were allowing their horses to trot up any little rise, and my horse listened to me and waited to be allowed to go faster. We were relaxed and on a loose rein most of the time. About 2/3 of the way into our ride those horses trotted ahead up a very steep incline, and my horse exploded into a leap/buck in place. My barn owner was right behind me and instructed me to circle hard, which we did, and then we preceded up the incline. My mare took tight, mincing steps but was obedient.
Shortly after this there is a place on the trail that is good to trot and canter—nice wide woods road with super footing. The three horses in front of me started trotting; I let my mare trot and thought we’d be okay if all we did was trot. But then the others in front started cantering and my mare lost her mind, threw her head up, dropped her back, and tried to leap forward. I was able to circle her and then start trotting again, but as my barn owner passed us and trotted away, she did it again and then ran backwards off the road into a boggy area. The back group of four were just walking at that point, and I thought I’d be able to join them, but when they reached me at least one said she was going to canter so I might want to face my mare in the opposite direction. At this point my mare was backing up again, even though I was deliberately pushing the reins forward and not pulling at all. I asked them to PLEASE wait until I could get off.
I did get off and started to walk her the other way as everyone trotted and cantered off. Of course my horse’s behavior is not their responsibility and I didn’t want them to alter their ride. I hand-walked her all the way back to the barn.
Anyway, this sort of triggered my fears again, and I’m not sure what to do. I know that her reactivity is part of who she is. I also know that someone braver than I probably would have ridden her through that by sending her forward into whatever leaping/galloping pace ensued, and that eventually, if that were repeated, she would get over herself as she has learned to do in many other situations. I, however, am just not that brave; it’s not going to happen.
So all this to ask, do I just chalk this up to overfacing her and just keep doing what I’m doing with continued success in the arena and limited group size trail rides? Sometimes I think about where I might be with all the hard work I put in if I had horse that had a less reactive brain.
If you made it this far, thanks for listening. Maybe I just needed to write it all down.