for letting bumpkin and I be your costars in Somewhere in Time, one of my favorite movies! One day, I am going to get to The Grand Hotel, where it was filmed. sigh
Fast forward to 2001, where those Dehners no longer fit anywhere even CLOSE to perfectly… 
“Of course, that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong.” - Dennis Miller
A timeless musical for the entire family!
My Jair Laddy
A soot-covered and full-seat breech-wearing eventer is taken under the wing of a refined and elegant hunter princess and taught the ways of the h/j world. Bring the whole family and sing along! “The mare and Jair fall softly at the fair”.
Another point for heidi, nada for Jair. 
Portia, you scare me. 
Each contestant and his/her horse is dropped off at a show. They are given normal grooming supplies, show clothes and tack and at least enough money to order feed and shavings (horse must not suffer). Their mission - to prepare the horse and show in a class without getting voted off the showgrounds by their fellow competitors, show management or their horse.
Four Chestnut Mares and No Funeral
Merry, Queen of Scots: The story of a lovely blonde and her exploits with a famous Scots actor … No, wait! That’s Beezer, Queen of Scots!
Now it’s back to my favorite old classics…
The Oxer Incident - that gripping tale of Indio stewards and competitors getting totally out of hand and lynching a fellow competitor suspected of using an offset oxer.
The Taming of the Few - where a natural horsemanship master is challenged to work with a barn full of DQ’s and their unmannerly 18 hh warmbloods.
The Lines of Wrath the trials and tribulations of an speed demon A/A jumper moving up to the A/O ranks, and her inability to come to terms with “technical” courses.
A Long Day’s Journey into Night - a thinly veiled autobiographical tale of family and their grip on a large equestrian organization, as it slowly crumbled into UnSETtled nothingness amidst bitternes and legal wranglings (subtle, eh?)
[This message was edited by DMK on Jun. 26, 2001 at 09:20 PM.]
Well, in college I had to read the two great classics by Homer, “The Idiot” and “The Odyssey”.
“The Idiot” told the story of the buxom Hollywood screen star who took up riding as her new hobby, only to find that she actually had to ride in her $600. custom schooling chaps. A pivotal chapter is when she suffers a nervous breakdown at the entry booth of the annual Malibu Riding Club Charity show, when she can’t decide whether to compete under her real name or adopt a catchy “stage moniker”.
As a follow-up, “The Odyssey” tells how the neophyte Hollywood equestrian then hitches her new aluminum Trailet to her Lexus and starts up the I-5 Freeway toward the HITS Tahoe show. But alas, she’s forgotten her map… 
How did you ever hear of my great love for Hap Hanson? I thought I’d kept that little secret to myself
CactusFlowerKate The tale of a lonely middle aged woman, stranded in the desert. If only she still had the courage to take her willing young TB to the jump heights he deserves. But, alas, she is stuck in Subterranean X Landwith no trainer in sight. She is resigned to stay on a 20 meter circle for the rest of her days. Either that or have the only near 17h team-penning horse for miles around. Sigh… 
“The older I get, the better I used to be.”
Cactuskate, I loved the movie “Somewhere in Time.” Sigh…
Just to keep it going…
“Who’ll Stop the Rain,” a ballad composed by a soggy, sopping wet trainer at the end of the first week of HITS Catskills after he dug yet another trench outside his stalls to keep his horse’s feet dry.
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
An emotional look at the hunter world through the eyes of Canter, Merry, Beezer, Jair and Heidi. Has good Cdn content and can be seen on the CBC as well as OLN. 
Even Moderators Get The Blues
The rolicking cross country adventures of a large thumbed Moderator played by Louise, as she hitchhikes her way across country to join “the girls” at Silly*Mares dude ranch. Play nice, be respectful, be polite are not the words this critic would use to describe this picture.
Rated 17hh
All-crops-and-whips Now Velvet and her small band of secretly selected Dressage Commandos are sent by Erin deep into hunter/jumper territory to locate the renegade COTH BB leader, Colin, who has gone insane and is suspected to be camping out militia-style with a paint warmblood and a goat. If you prefer the smell of stables over napalm in the morning, this one’s for you.
Robby Guitar This is the story of a lean, handsome gun-slinger-drifter and his unparalleled devotion to one headstrong and independent woman named Willow. When Willow builds a CCI cross-country course, rival neighbor Alice and her hired gun, Jair, become fervently jealous, resorting to burning the course down. However, burning 30 solid cross-country jumps takes awhile - will Willow and Robby be able to stop Alice and Jair’s madness?
[This message was edited by MarcyW on Jul. 01, 2001 at 07:48 AM.]
As I Lay Dying - that masterful epic of one Middle A/A’s epic struggle to get out of bed Monday morning after a show, and go to work (or come up with Believable Excuse #2356).
Culpeper, Culpeper - the author’s drunken masterpiece about Southern roots and conflict with yankee cultural invasion
The Sound and the Fury - Four parts, told from the point of the leadline class judge, beleagured steward, jilted horseshow mom and aged leadline pony (who whimsically leaves out “punctuation” for his 80 page narration). In the author’s typical warped style, he leaves out the focal character - the actual leadliner
Oh, it’s Oh So Easy here (“no one following over my shoulder, nobody even coming near” chronicles the decline of a former “A-2” circuit rider to the depths of localdom.
Yipee ti yi yo, Git along fatlil ponies (“it’s your misfortune, ain’t none of my own…”) follows the footsteps of the great pony roundups on the great plains in the 1800’s.
They all say LOUISE was not that bad" the life and times of a struggling dressage rider as she finds she can’t even buy her way to the top.
Will continue to think of more…Of course, all the songs referred to are pretty obscure - oh well!
Good Distance Hunting - DMK is a headstrong, middleclass hunter princess. After one two many run ins with her coach, DMK’s last chance is a psychology professor played by Merry. Experience this powerful and unforgettable movie.
What Horses Want - This gelding has the power to hear everything that his female riders are thinking. Finally, a man out there is listening.
The Half Halt Redemption - Jair plays a dressage lifer who knows the ropes at Redemption Stables. The barn’s newest boarder, played by Robby Johnson is a quiet banker unjustly accused of cheating on his dressage test. Robby’s indomitable will earns Jair’s friendship; his resourcefulness brings hope and change to DQ’s everywhere.
Let�s not forget Crouching Chestnuts, Hidden Palomino.
The International tale of four aspiring young grand prix riders and their coach, Frankie. Follow them through their rigorous test, the Prix de Nations, against the top teams in the world. The final scene is a heart stopper. Captured by the lovely part-Asian woman and her charming horse Caiman. As they narrowly escape that hard rub on the final fence, and YES it stays in the cups!!! The crowd gasps as she sneezes in mid stride over the huge Swedish Oxer, KACHOO … would someone please hand that woman a Kleenex!!!
“The older I get, the better I used to be.”
“Cantering Queen” (think ABBA thoughts)
You can trot, you can dive, having the ride of your life
See that girl, watch that round, chip in the Cantering Queen
“Fear and Loathing in Lake Placid”
By hunterested Thompson
“Silly Mommy Dearest”
The Beast’s shocking autobiography
“Erin Lockthreadavich”
The courage of one woman to stand up against the powerful California clique and their BB pollution.
To Kill a Kellybird! LMAO!!! That is going to keep me entertained all day!
Don’t forget White Horse’s Can’t Jump and Cast Again
~“Be wary of the horse with a sense of humour.”~
[This message was edited by TINanator on Jun. 27, 2001 at 01:13 PM.]
Thanks, Wingsy. Let’s see…
The Horse Menagerie Another semi-autobiographical Tennesse Williams drama, in which Maddie, a young and physically delicate filly, lives in the once proud home of her domineering mother, Lovely Alice, who long ago was the belle of every A show. Fred, a handsome gentleman caller, comes to visit, and Maddie shows him her extensive collection of Breyer Horses. When Fred explains that he only does live cover and Maddie is too young, Alice sees all her hopes for the future fading… However, this being the 21st Century, she and Maddie soon realize they don’t need a male to take care of them and they will do just fine on their own.
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