OP, please get the loose ring out this girl’s hands immediately. It’s a gentle bit, except that the loose rings are really irritating to the horse if the rider doesn’t have good hands. Get her a D-ring if you let the girl ride her anymore. (Which I agree, you shouldn’t do.)
I didn’t read through everything, but I wanted to give some thoughts from somebody that was once in a similar situation.
My parents bought me a horse when I was in HS before I could drive (I didn’t learn to drive until I was 18). We boarded my horse about 30 minutes away from where we lived. My parents were not horse people, though they gave me as much moral support as they could. However, my parents were also of the same mindset, if I wasn’t going to be riding they didn’t really want to take the time/gas to drive me there, sit around while I did whatever I was going to do, and then drive me home. I was lucky that at that point I was essentially an “only child” due to my brother being several years older than me and off in college my entire HS career, but they both worked and that was a huge chunk out of their night. Not to mention I was also active in marching band, swimming, and water polo my entire HS career. It wasn’t until I learned to drive that I was able to go out to the barn when I wanted, get involved in my horse’s foot care, vet care, and general care.
So, I would keep in mind that if this girl is still being driven around my her mom, it could be just a time constraint issue. If she has other siblings, they may also be putting demands on the parent’s time to be taken around to various activities. If the girl is in other sports then there is that too. She also needs time to do homework. There are only so many hours in a day. :no: Perhapes once she is able to drive herself around you can more seriously ask her to be more involved in the “other stuff” that goes with having a horse.
The girl is taking lessons at a high-priced barn, but the mom decides to lease your green mare at a much more modest facility. Why isn’t the girl moving on to lease a horse at the same facility where she is taking lessons? No doubt this is a cost-saving measure on the mom’s part. I am guessing that girl doesn’t really want to be riding your horse, both for correct reasons (the horse is green, dangerous for her to ride, and becoming more so), and perhaps for shallow ones (she would prefer to continue on in her “high end” home barn where she knows everyone). I am also guessing that the mother is being a bit of an impediment: yes, you can ride, but only on cheap, dangerous horses; yes, you can ride, but I’m not driving you any more than I have to.
The girl already has a coach, and she doesn’t particularly see why she needs coaching or mentorship from an amateur as well (you).
Just from what you say about the riding and how the mare is deteriorating, I say get the girl off the horse before you (a) get the girl hurt and (b) ruin your young mare. I would advise the mom that the girl should be leasing in her lesson barn, where she can advance in a coherent program, not trying to lease cheap horses at random barns with no training support.
BTW, in my area, people are strongly advised not to coach without coaches’ insurance, particularly if you are coaching a minor. And many barns won’t allow this.
I think we have green on green on green here (green horse, green owner, green lessee) and this is all a whole lot of “bad idea.”
This.
When I first started half-leasing my horse (as an adult), I was doing what this girl is doing. I was paying for access to riding. My responsibilities ended with the basic pre/post ride grooming, and I had zero interest in holding for the farrier or mucking out the stall.
Once I decided I’d buy the horse (and it wasn’t some nebulous “one day I’d like a horse”), that’s when I got interested in learning about all the aspects of care. But the initial idea was a riding lease, and my HO was a reasonable businessperson who didn’t try to push me into stuff I wasn’t interested in. We both understood our respective parts in the business arrangement.
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Just from what you say about the riding and how the mare is deteriorating, I say get the girl off the horse before you (a) get the girl hurt and (b) ruin your young mare.[/QUOTE]
Personally I’d worry more over getting the girl hurt.
OP admits the horse is more “difficult”, it has bucked the kid off several times, etc. She also says she doesn’t have a lot of coaching experience.
This rider is a child. If she does get badly hurt, what she may or may have accepted as risk won’t matter. She’s a minor.
How horsey is mom? Because if not horsey, it could look like an amatour wannabe trainer foisting a green, dangerous horse on a clueless minor for $$$.
Did t really all the way through but I don’t understand why the OP is trying so hard for this to work. The OP wanted to give her leasee a particular experience and this leasee is not interested in that, plus the horse and rider are not a good fit.
