For me, this process has always started with seeing who returns my calls. It doesn’t matter to me how great a trainer is if they’re super-busy and not in the market for new lesson clients. If I were hunting for a barn this year, I probably would check Safe Sport first because I’m not keen on patronizing people on the list. But then I would make some calls. I have a lot to learn from basically anyone so as long as the facility is safe and they have horses I can ride, I’m going to be fine. If those things aren’t in place, I’m not getting on a horse. Other criteria, like driving distance, the atmosphere of the barn, and chemistry with an instructor can’t be assessed over the phone. You just have to go.
And I would probably make those calls before posting all over a public forum in a way that suggests that I might be a difficult personality to have around the barn. It’s great to get advice, and mine is that at some point you develop a reputation that proceeds you. I’m speaking from a place of caring, as a difficult person (you can see my post history for a description of what it’s like to ride with adult ADHD on bad day - I’m super-nice in person most of the time, but also really weird). I’m not trying to criticize your personality, which is probably mellower than mine, I’m making a suggestion about strategy. You got some recs, now stop trying to sound important and smart before you hurt yourself. Make some calls and go meet some people.
and before that I did several rental trail rides a year, cadged rides on friends horses, and even did a very low end 6 or 8 week group lesson thing at the super low end dude string barn down the road, where the barn owner who didn’t ride himself chased us with a longe whip. I was a beginner when I got my horse but I learned fast riding suburban sidewalk and mountain trails with my feral friends.