i’m sorry about your conudrum.
people who can gaslight this way are so baffling to me. I feel like you tried to fire them and they turned it around on you.
I wouldn’t even know what to do.
i’m hoping they get it together and show up on time without excuses.
That is exactly what they did. It’s incredibly frustrating! I’ve decided to give them one more lesson. If they show late or they have any issues, I’m done. I feel like I’ve bent over backwards to keep them in my program and they’re being awful to me in return.
You keep using the word they. Is it both the child and the grandmother, or just the grandmother?
I hate seeing the child punished because of the actions of the adults.
(Note - I am fine with you telling them that your program is not a good match, I have said that several times. I am just clarifying the use of a word that feels like it includes both the child and the adult.)
I should have said her in reference to the Gma. She is the problem, not the student. That was a poor choice of words there and I appreciate you pointing that out.
I don’t want to kick the student out, I want to kick the person who brings her out. But they are a package deal.
Unfortunately children are dependent on their adult family, and that’s who pays the bills and makes the decisions. Until child is old enough to work part time to earn cash, and get to the barn independently.
ANOTHER UPDATE: I messaged them early in the day yesterday to let them know I have some allergy/URI stuff going on, and to double check that they were comfortable coming in anyways. She confirmed and said a cold doesn’t bother her.
AN HOUR, yes, you read that right, an hour before her lesson time, she texts me saying that the student got hurt in gym class and they “should have taken me up on missing today’s lesson.”
UGH
Oh man.
It’d sure be easier to believe and “let slide” the “got hurt in gym class” excuse if it hadn’t been for all the last-minute cancellations leading up to today.
I almost want to ask for a note from the school or doctor. But that feels like overkill.
My niece’s cheer team would require a note for her to not be charged for a late-cancellation on a private lesson.
IDK if it was required, but when I was in middle school my parents gave my saxophone instructor a doctor’s note when I missed a lesson due to being sick.
I don’t see any reason why horse riding lessons should be different than any other type of activity lesson.
Doctors notes are a bit of a racket nowadays, at least here. They aren’t allowed to specify the ailment for privacy reasons. And you pay $60 to the walk in clinic.
So the note says “Suzy needs to take a few days off school.”
Does Suzy have the flu? Or did Suzy say she is under too much stress and needs a mental health break? Who knows.
I think it’s time to shed these clients.
I feel ya, and I’ve always kind of felt that way about doctor’s notes. If I were a parent, I’m sure I’d feel it’s definitely my prerogative if I decide my kid isn’t going to school that day. But, a school day is a bit different than a paid service like a private lesson. Sure, it’s still your prerogative if Suzy isn’t going to her lesson tonight, but you definitely owe money to the lesson provider for a late cancellation. Don’t want to provide a school or doctor note? That’s fine. Pay the cancellation fee.
I think in cases like what the OP is dealing with, it kind of makes a point/sets a precedence when you have habitual offenders. But yeah, I’d have just dropped this client a while ago.
The problem with folks who are always late or cancelling is that it becomes impossible to distinguish the one legitimate incident from all the general messups.
So you jump down their throat when you can’t stand it any longer and that’s the one time they have had a legitimate emergency and they act all hurt.
Best to limit your exposure to their general life dysfunction even if they are friends. One client? Be done with this.
I just kicked them from the program. I said due to cancellations, tardiness etc that I am no longer able to offer lessons. I also sent them a list of a few other local places with bigger programs who can handle the inconsistency.
Thanks for the encouragement all!
The reason poor people don’t pay for package deals up front, even if it will save them money, is because they don’t have the cash flow. They are not trying to screw you or themselves.
If you haven’t been poor lately, or ever, you need to know that poverty creates chaos that the middle class can buy its way out of. E.g. Your kid gets sick, so you can’t take her to day care, to you call your boss to ask to take half the day off, your boss fires you… so that you can’t pay for day care, to get the next job. Or, you wanted to pay rent, but you got a flat tire that was so bad the tire has to be replaced. Do you pay rent now when due or do you fix the tire so that you can get to work so that you can pay more rent in the future? You get the idea.
The getting in your face about the vaccine was optional on their part, so I think it’s fair to harbor some dislike on that point. But it sounds like that plus their bringing the chaos of their life to your program, and then their asking for credit, has burned the bridge.
Be kind; we don’t know what people are dealing with. See if you can offer the solution of another barn when you send them on their way. But it would be easiest for you if you could tell them the truth that another student who wants to ride more regularly has asked to join your program and business says you have to accommodate them. Do you have others waiting in line? Hope so! Good luck, OP.
I am self employed. The money only comes in when I work for it, and because of the economy here, I make less than $30k a year. I CONSTANTLY have to make decisions like the ones you mentioned. I don’t think the first part of your comment is fair. Take a dose of the medicine you just tried to deal me, if you would. You don’t know me, or my situation. Them no showing and cancelling was cutting into my bottom line. I simply cannot work for free and it’s asinine to assume anyone would.
I tried to be kind, I waived fees up the wazoo, didn’t make a big deal about them cancelling for as long as I could, letting it go when I was verbally attacked for making a decision about my healthcare… They took advantage of that, spun things around on me, multiple times, and ultimately made me out to be the bad guy. I can’t have that here, and wouldn’t expect anyone else in this industry to put up with that awful behavior.
There’s your answer: You are too mad to continue in a professional relationship with them. Be as kind as you can while you cut them loose and try to do no harm on the way out.
They have already been removed from my program, I told them why, and offered up some other barns that have larger programs that can handle their inconsistency and non commitment. I’m not putting any more time into this, it’s done and my stress level has already gone down. It was worth it to cut them and tell them why. Maybe it will discourage them from acting a fool to their next coach.
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