Given Robert Dover’s very well done speech on bullying, let’s have a chat; sorry, this is uber long :).
A few definitions/explanations (title was the actual word searched and all material, other than the titles, are exact copies of the material located):
Bullying: Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious and lasting problems. In order to be considered bullying, the behavior must be aggressive and include:
An Imbalance of Power: Kids who bully use their power—such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity—to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations, even if they involve the same people.
Repetition: Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once.
Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose (www.stopbullying.gov).
Cyberbullying: Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets. Cyberbullying can occur through SMS, Text, and apps, or online in social media, forums, or gaming where people can view, participate in, or share content. Cyberbullying includes sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false, or mean content about someone else. It can include sharing personal or private information about someone else causing embarrassment or humiliation. Some cyberbullying crosses the line into unlawful or criminal behavior (www.stopbullying.gov).
Criticism: the act of criticizing usually unfavorably; seeking encouragement rather than criticism; a critical observation or remark; an unfair criticism had a minor criticism of the design; critique; the art of evaluating or analyzing works of art or literature; also : writings expressing such evaluation or analysis; an anthology of literary criticism; the scientific investigation of literary documents (such as the Bible) in regard to such matters as origin, text, composition, or history (Merriam-Webster)
False Representation: False representation means a false or wrongful representation regarding a material fact with the knowledge or belief of its inaccuracy. False representation depends upon the peculiar circumstances and conditions involved in each case. False representation is the most common foundation for actions in fraud and deceit and for equitable relief on the ground of fraud. Usually, false representations can be made by acts, words, or by any of the ways in which ideas may be communicated from one person to another. In addition, a false representation can be made either by an affirmative statement that is itself false, or by concealing or not disclosing certain facts that render the facts that are disclosed misleading (USLegal).
Any public person, such as persons in government positions regardless of level, are automatically tossed into the court of public opinion and short of openly threatening their safety, any speech is essentially a free for all (form a government law standpoint; private industry/companies may have different policies). At the same time, a professional, whether professional in a company structure or one who makes a claim of being a professional, open themselves up to the same type of public scrutiny especially if they are representing the same company. For example, military members are considered professionals. They put up with media of all types though offices in each branch have specific media reps. Still, if a military member, in uniform, chooses to make a statement somewhere, the simple wearing of the uniform can be considered that the person making the statement is representing the branch and that branch’s thoughts on what is being said…it can’t be done without permission, without knowledge of the command and/or without prior perusal of the statement.
So it comes out, a professional opens themselves up to public scrutiny and criticism of their actions, words etc, it is NOT bullying, or in the case of social media/blogs/forums, cyberbullying, unless false information is shared as in wrong information. A professional caught out in a flat lie where the lie is proven, is not being cyber-bullied when that info is passed on to others, especially if said lie, or lies, or a professional is falsely representing their abilities, can be proven. It is also not considered bullying/cyber-bullying if criticism and debate is done over words the professional has actually put out. Heck, if that were the case, every author out there who has ever been criticized, whether electronically or otherwise, could claim they were being bullied.
Now, on this, bullying of children, teens, new riders absolutely should never be a point of focus. They are not professionals but individuals and private persons; they are not a public figure who have placed themselves in that court of public opinion. Constructive criticism, given in a professional and supportive manner to help their development, mentally, physically and emotionally, is one thing. Calling them out publicly in an effort to shame or harass is something else (this can be done by adults or other kids).
When I got my first horse, I rode with a girl who had a parent that was a bully. I didn’t really recognize it until a couple of years later, but, no matter how well she rode at a show, if she didn’t win the class he would turn his back on her and refuse to talk to her, or, he would lambaste her in a loud voice so anyone around could hear; he never offered an ounce of positive reinforcement in anything.
So, related to professionals, when does criticism of their actions/words become bullying? Can one professional constantly criticize another professional, including when the professional doing the criticism is incorrect in that criticism, only be considered to be offering criticism and is not considered to be a bully? Can lowly people that are considered amateurs be considered bullies if they criticize a professional, especially when that criticism is in fact completely accurate?
As RD stated, there may be times in a pic, vid or otherwise where what is being done, or said, is not correct, and we all understand that and in general will say, oops, moment in time let’s observe before we make up our minds. However, we also have to be true to ourselves and the sport in which we ride. Most of us, I believe, can agree that different trainers often bring different ways for students to see things…one can say one thing one way, while another says the same thing another way, and the one that said it the other way finally clicks on that “oh, THAT’s what he/she meant” button in the rider’s brain. At the same time, if I know, at least in my brain, from listening and observation, that a trainer/professional is not educated in what they are trying to teach, as in they may know the words but not the actual actions, I am not going to train with them and I am going to pass on my perceptions to others making the consideration. I wouldn’t ever tell anyone not to train with someone, but I will give my thoughts before they do. People still have to make up their own minds.
but I think a coach who yells at his whole team to get them to perform better isnt really a bully. Whereas a coach that singled out one player for personal humiliation repeatedly especially off the field would be a bully. Or if they were coercing sex out of a team member.