Those that don’t know/understand the definitions and how to properly apply them.
I am sure there are specific individuals out there. I just notice it in many discussions (not just here) on bullying. It’s just becoming a huge catch phrase. Yes, it’s a legitimate concern in some cases, but it’s also getting to be a bit much.
I think the difference between criticism or disagreement versus bullying is very clear to every individual, including every single participant on this thread.
If I direct a comment at you, that is constructive criticism or principled disagreement. Obviously.
If you direct the same comment at me, that is bullying or at least super mean. Obviously.
Can we all graduate from kindergarten this month and either learn to go with the flow in Internet discussions, or else learn to avoid getting into wrangles that leave us feeling attacked?
This is skill number one of being a functional adult.
Go with the flow ? Not if the flow is anonymous mobs trolling an individual, no. I don’t like the way the internet is going in this regard. My participation will be on my terms. Not some mob rule sheeple thing. Learning how to behave ethically and how to respectfully disagree is also a skill worth learning.
If people are targeting her at home or work by leaving harassing voicemails, emails, Facebook messages, etc. then yes, that is bullying. I haven’t heard of any of that happening, have you?
Talking ABOUT something she did wrong, with concrete evidence of her wrongdoing, is not bullying. Just because it has gone viral still doesn’t make it bullying.
I think part of the problem is that many people have seen only the Thursday ride, and think the woman is being criticized simply for her lack of skill. That would be unacceptable IMO. We all suffer from a lack of skill, to varying degrees. Again it is the poor horsemanship, sportsmanship and many feel
abuse that were on display during Friday’s ride that have caused such outrage.
It can still be bullying even if one is outraged and the victim of it is in the wrong.It’s been explained ad nauseam.
If we were a small group of horsepeople sitting in a tack room discussing this ride, would that be bullying? I don’t think so. The internet is the online equivalent of that tack room with the main differences being (a) the number of people involved and (b) the fact that the person being discussed can view the discussion.
I agree with whomever above said speculating about her motivations, her personality, her relationship with her trainer, her personal life, etc. are out of bounds because it’s not based in any fact. But discussing how she actually chose to treat her horse in the Friday test is fair game for discussion and not bullying. It has led to many further valuable discussions around the distinction between an unskilled ride or a bad day and absuive riding, conversations about the role judges and stewards have in protecting horse welfare, and re-ignited a healthy debate about whether North American riders should qualify in order to show a given level.
Then don’t participate. I choose to stay off the kind of chat groups that regularly blow up with political screaming and personal attacks. Its interesting on these COTH dressage threads watching people who don’t even fundamentally disagree go for each other’s throats and get tangled up she said/they said nonsense.
That’s not learning how to disagree respectfully. Disagree respectfully is what people do when they trade best recipes for thrush cures on the horse care thread.
The impulse behind a bunch of these recent dressage threads seems to be more to just have a brawl in public.
Makes me realize that probably a percentage of people actually enjoy starting a big brawl or at least get energized by it and can’t let go.
I do find myself losing a lot of respect for the posters involved, and I should probably stop logging on before I just get tired of COTH but there is a certain fascination in seeing how long a point less interpersonal dispute can be maintained between adults.
Your solution is that I don’t participate ? That may solve your problem in that you don’t agree with me and don’t want to have it addressed the way I am doing (the topic IS bullying after all!).
That doesn’t work for me really does it? The topic of online hate campaigns is a bigger issue than the interpersonal dispute here , though that dispute does give an example of the tactics people use.
You have over 20 posts in this thread ,so it seems to me you enjoy what you call brawling in public quite a lot 
Before you go all ‘‘goodbye cruel board’’ , please realize that this topic is not personal for me, and there is no need to take it that way. I respond to people who quote me, that’s quite normal, right?
I find it an interesting and relevant topic and see more and more slamming and nasty behavior online, including a big increase here. I want to respond to that in a way I see fit, which is not up to anyone else to decide. Does anyone want to see more nastiness here ? Have I been nasty ? I don’t think so, so i’m good with what i’m doing and don’t need or want advice from you as to where or how I post.
Sorry, I did not mean for this to be a personal attack on you specifically. Apologies. It was more trying to figure out the dynamics of how threads like this one end up as train wrecks, which I find interesting to observe.
Clearly my comments did not refer to everyone on the board. If you don’t think my comments should apply to you then feel free to ignore them.
And here we have the Global Solution…feel free to ignore…actually very hard, but choosing not to take everything personally, something we can all try and do.
99.9999% of the posts are ethical arguments for horse welfare here. Don’t you agree this video was out of line? don’t you think there should be some response for the sake of the horse?
I don’t see any real problems with doing this, we have the right to discuss concerns with other dressage people. That seems totally legit, Mods have and will close threads that are not allowed.
Some people just aren’t a good fit for these boards, it’s ok. No need to stay
Since we have three threads related to one issue ongoing here, and this one is largely not specifically dressage-related and getting the most into some personal commentary, we’re going to close it down.
If anyone would like to further discuss general issues related to online bullying, please feel free to start a thread in the OT forum.
Thanks,
Mod 1
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