also to add, the price of the saddle doesn’t make it a miracle in terms of fit or performance improvement. Merely by costing $5500, it accomplished nothing towards the goal of making the horse more comfortable, so “the expensive saddle didn’t fix it so it must be behavioral” makes no sense to me.
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You’re getting a bit of tough love here OP, but please realize no one here wants to see you end up hurt or in an avoidable bad situation.
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Yes, some of the tough love has been REALLY tough, but it’s all coming from a place of really wanting you to have a great next experience 
You’ve been through so much with this horse, mentally and financially, that we ALL want to see an amazing success story next 
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I may have missed it mentioned in this thread, but was bloodwork done on this fellow?
Pony is wondering if there is something else lurking.
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Thank you everybody. Yes tough love hurts, but everyone has very valid points.
5strideline - I think I have sent my vet to Hawaii several times with all my vet expenses over the last 3 horses I have owned.
MOndo - thank you for the kind words.
I am an experienced horse person. Worked with a grand prix trainer for several years, wonderful experience, learned to always look for a problem before assuming the horse is an ass.
seller is 8 hours away. first time we went down to look at several horses he had that based on descriptions might be suitable. Only rode this one. We all rode him, owner, trainer, daughter, and myself. Horse was not lame (or was bilaterally off…). REason I bought him: I felt totally safe on him. Not scared at all. REason for no ppe done down there: could not find a vet with availability sooner than 2 to 3 weeks.
Looked at horses close to home. Every video we got the horses were visibly off. and they were asking 15 to 20k, and the horses were visibly off. So started looking farther afield. Did not know this guy was a trader until we got there, and had been there a bit.
REason for looking for horse: my previous horse that I had for 3 yrs (still have actually but he is retired now), was sold as serviceably sound. well first the vet did dental, found 2 abcessed molars and 1 of them was fractured. I had him do dental even thou horse wasn’t due because I was pretty sure there were problems in there. He dide not want to be bridled. Cost about 1500 to get those 2 teeth out, took over 5 hours, and lots of iv fluid. Horses recovers, we ride for a few months, horse starts not wanting bridle again. Hauled horse to vet and said xray the front teeth top and bottom. EORTH, they were all rotten, roots completely gone on 8 teeth and drumsticks on the other 4. Pulled all front teeth. Horse felt much better after than. Get back to riding. Now that horses mouth is not in agony (that had to be very painful), we see that hind end is stiffer than expected for age. Get hock and stifle injections. Then knees and coffins all around. Then SI. Finally told vet xray the back. Vet said neck, I said do both. it was the back, kissing spines. So we injected the spine. horse got MUCH better for a few months. Then injected again, got another good 3 to 4 months. Then injected again. Didn’t even last 2 months and horse told me he was done, needed to be retired. So we did. And yes he was PPE. never thought I needed to do mouth and back xrays. Hmmmm
Horse before him, had 1 major injurt every spring while I owned him. the 3 rd spring he turned neuto and I had 4 months after he was diagnosed before the had to be euthed because walking was getting hard for him, he went downhill SO hard.
So
HOrse before him coliced and got a cecal twist. 9 yrs old. NOthing to do. That killed me, It took me until I got the kissing spine horse to get over him. He was that special. AND KS horse is that special. Unfortunately he seems to be going downhill quickly too.
So thats my sad long story. Right now all I want is a horse that is safe and sound so I can go out and ride. TAlented would be nice, but I just want to RIDE. It is my mental health activiity and it is killing me to not have a horse to get on.
So yes lots of mistakes made mostly because I did not want to take a year to find a horse.
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So sorry, OP - what a heartbreaking saga.
I’m sure I’m not alone in wanting the best for you! 
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@arabiansrock I am so so sorry for your struggle. Horses really put us through the wringer!
Horse shopping is a nightmare, always. I know PLENTY of people who don’t have specific needs that have shopped for 6 months-over a year. I was lightly looking earlier this summer but I also had the same struggle. Clearly lame, undisclosed career limiting injuries, ‘needs refresher off property’ actually meaning ‘rears and flips over when asked to work’, etc. This was mostly due to my budget, and that is why I stopped looking - I’ll save up to have a few more options.
Can you lease something while you shop? Find some way to scratch the riding itch without owning? Patience is SO critical when buying, and horses these days cost double what they used to - if they are “cheap”, there’s a darn good reason. Leasing or lessoning might give you the time to look without pressure to buy the first thing you sit on, and to set up PPEs, etc. Sounds like there might’ve been some manufactured pressure from the trader to buy now now now (cause he knew this one wouldn’t vet).
If “just riding” is your true goal (and it’s a good one!), buying a horse is actually the hardest way to do that. And you do sound a bit burnt out about the whole thing, understandably!
Whatever you do, best of luck. Maybe it’s a good idea to take a step back and take a hard look at your shopping process and goals - put some firm boundaries in place, refuse to rush in without a reasonable amount of confidence, and insist upon riding and vetting everything. The right horse will come along, if you are patient and realistic.
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Sorry for all of your struggles. That is a LOT.
It’s a really wonderful thing when a horse communicates what they want to do. Your current horse is being very clear about it. He needs someone who wants to trail ride.
It seems to me that it would be the right thing for the horse to help him find that home.
Best of luck to you - whatever you decide.
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In CA, if you have to drive 8 hours to try a horse, and there are no vets available, you’re likely living in a rural area with space for turn out.
I’ve kept horses in the city for 30 years and I’ve known maybe three horses that couldn’t tolerate the limited turnout that’s generally available.
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Hi Everyone. Coming back with an ending to this saga, and will start new thread for new horse.
Emailed with seller quite a bit. Looked at videos of several horses. Gave him specific needs/wants for new horse. Being a top caliber dressage horse was not even on the list, lol.
My trainer and I finally agreed on one horse that we thought would be worth a trial. I have a contract with seller that if this horse is also not a good match, that he will trade again.
Horse arrived definitely needing trimming, but I knew that and had asked him to not have it done before he came. Because my farrier wanted to see how he grows, wear patterns etc. Horse arrived yesterday and is getting trimmed this am. I am sick so I can’t be there, Im bummed about that.
So far so good. He came off the trailer a little anxious (for good reason), but he did not act up. I could see the anxiety in his eye though. So he had a good grooming, mane and tail detangling (He has a longer mane than the previous horse (half friesian) did! And a nice thick tail. Then he surprised me by dropping so I grabbed it to check for beans. Yep, a HUGE one. I couldn’t get it out, so my daughter tackled it and got it out. It was the largest bean I have ever seen! Then my daughter flushed cold water up his sheath to rinse that out. He didn’t move a muscle, didn’t raise a hoof to threaten to kick, he just stood there and tolerated this on his first day.
He got lots of cookies, couldn’t figure out how to eat an apple, didn’t want to nice mash I made him (boo) but was very happy with his nice large paddock and shelter. At one point a couple of neighboring horses went crazy running and bucking around their paddocks (neighbors horses had come to fence line), and he just stood nice and calm. He finally did trot one loop of his paddock but did not get crazy. He just spent alot of time staring at the neighbor horses.
He looked pretty good in the turnout we put him in when he got off the trailer. Nice long walk, pushes from behind in trot. I didn’t see canter, I was busy. His back is sore at withers and croup which def means someone was using a poorly fitting saddle on him (he had been loaned to a young rider whos horse was on layup, so was prob their saddle). So we will massage and not ride until the back feels better.
The plan for now is to lightly lunge him this week, just to get to know him, and start riding next week. Want to give him time to get used to new trim job without stressing his legs. And time to get used to us and his new home.
My vet is the show vet at the Sacramento INternational Horse show which is going on this week. Earliest I can get him out will be next week, just hoping he will have time for him.
Only major flaw I see in him so far (and it doesn’t bother my trainer nearly as much as it does me) is that he has a very curvy back. Literally almost but not quite enough to call it sway back. BUT he has no topline. Clearly has not been ridden with connection and lifting back. I had my daughter do a tummy lift on him and he lifted his back up literally close to 4 inches (at least it looks that way). It came up to a perfectly nice back conformation, so the flexibility is there. So if we keep him it will be a winter of long and low, stretchy connection to muscle up the topline.
Thank you all for your advice and sympathy. I do hope that this guy turns out to be a good fit, but the seller told me “don’t get attached, if he doesn’t work, we will look for another horse for you, don’t worry, we will find the right one for you”. Which was nice.
Oh specs, 15.1 hands, gelding, quarter horse grade, 10 yrs old, bay with 3 very short white socks. Do not like his name (Mercedes) so am wracking my brain for a better one.
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Fingers crossed that he works out for you. For some reason the name “Barry” is coming to me.
Or you could call him Mr. Bean 
… and now I will never look at Rowan Atkinson the same way again.
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HA okay that had me choking on coffee 
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So happy you are getting another try. I look forward to many happy updates and pictures…
Did you buy this one sight unseen without a vet check?
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Hey now I do that all the time!
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Me too, I have never had a vet check.
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I may have missed this but what is the footing like in the ring? Is it possible his deep digitial is still an issue? How are his feet?
Given the significant issues the OP had with a horse from the same seller and the thousands of dollars in vet bills, and her personal issues with horses and riding it would have been a good idea don’t you think?
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I think she’s very sensible to have her own vet give this horse a thorough check over before she gets attached and while she can still return it. I’d rather do that than have some random distant vet chosen by the seller do a PPE.
Don’t name him until you know it is going to work out, OP. The seller is right! Approach him with a spirit of detatchment.
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I think it would be sensible to have a vet not related to the seller see these horses in person (as well as the OP seeing these horses in person with a trainer) before she takes them on trial. Especially since this one has a sway back and is back sore enough he needs a week off before he can be ridden. AND given the significant issues the OP had with the first horse from the same seller.
Other people getting lucky buying horses sight unseen without vetting is not relevant to this OPs situation who seems to be remotely trying horses off video from some sort of a low end dealer and is investing thousands of dollars on unsuitable horses she can’t ride. There is no guarantee that the seller will continue being accommodating even though they say they will. Multiple other people suggested a PPE with a neutral vet. The OP deserves a horse she can ride NOW, not a horse that needs months of rehab.
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