Makeup to the Barn: Opinions?

[RugBug]

[QUOTE=Dee-Vee;7683638]
My bad…I meant the term “event” in a looser context meaning…a show, a clinic…any kind of horse-related event.

Yes, I expect my coach to always look clean, neat and professional. I do the same for her when she comes to coach me. Do we wear make-up…yes…as part of polished professional presentation.

Are we insecure…not really. Way too over the hill for that, but as part of good grooming the hair is done (even though it will be crushed under helmet head) and little bit of make up is applied even though it most likely will be sweated off. And when the work is done…we clean up: wipe the boots, wipe the faces, brush out the helmet head, and deal with horse goobers.[/QUOTE]

I would love my coach to present herself in a certain way (breeches/boots/hair up in helmet when riding). She does not, but I have no real objections to the way she does present herself. I do request that if she’s showing a sales horse for me that she is in boots/breeches and she willingly complies. We both know our standards are different and accept them as such. She wears makeup (foundation/powder), I do not. I would wager that I’m usually the more “pulled together and presentable” of the two of us.

[Pennywell_Bay]

I prefer brown eyeshadow and natural lipstick, in hopes to camouflage any dirt I attract along the way. On that note- my hair should be green to camouflage any hay sticking in it but alas…

Seriously- I don’t care if my trainer wears makeup or not… But he’s a guy BUT if he was a woman- don’t care. I sometimes do or don’t.

As long as I’m not stealing your tack or pilfering your tack box- why do you care?

OP wear what you are comfortable in.

[wildlifer]

[QUOTE=french fry;7682970]
You are joking, right? You have clearly never suffered from bad skin. [/QUOTE]

Well, bless your heart! Ummm, over-reaction may have occurred in the vicinity. :eek:

OP asked for honest opinions. And nope, sorry, your assumptions about my own past are completely incorrect. I have obviously just chosen a different response to cultural undercurrents than others.

Not even once or ever would I say that cosmetics make anyone a bad OR lesser person. I just strongly believe in encouraging and empowering women to present their own faces to the world instead of feeling pressured to change them. If a woman chooses to use cosmetics as a decorative method of expression, etc, go for it. Do what YOU want to do. But the “I must ‘fix’ myself” mentality is a battle we should all fight.

If it makes you feel better, actually, I have always had terrible acne, especially growing up. Kids are mean, and I was (still am, several decades later) dorky, oily, & smart, so I got all the ‘fun.’ I have several scars on my face from voracious chicken pox and others elsewhere from injuries. Add to that my job and lifestyle and my possibly permanent layer of sunscreen and bugspray, well, no photographers are chasing me down the street!

My message is MEANT, however, to encourage women not to let the words and actions of others shape their self-esteem. I know all too well that mean people are mean, they’ve given me plenty of evidence. And we get barraged by messages that wrinkles are bad, scars are even worse, and we should look like X.

Life is way too short to spend time on thoughtless judgement from insecure, mean-spirited people. Like the guys who worked at a pharmacy I stopped at a few years ago, just after I had ridden. I was in my typical best “smelly homeless person in tights and funny boots with a very dirty old t-shirt” outfit, perfectly matched with my hair that resembles a cocker spaniel in an electrical storm. These guys in their early 20s followed me down the aisle giggling and making horse noises in ridicule. I think I pulled a muscle rolling my eyes - but they just made themselves look like idiotic a$$holes. I had to laugh at the fact that they probably thought quite highly of themselves. shrug I know who I am and people like that know nothing about me – perhaps I was lucky to come from a background that encouraged and fed that knowledge.

And sorry, throwing the cancer card down on the table is neither relevant nor conducive to conversation. Brain cancer stole my fiance and our future, so I’m not going there.

Dangit, broke my rule again…stay out of the hunter folder, stay out of the hunter folder…agggghhhhh…as you were…

[wildlifer]

@RugBug;7683361

Please don’t think that I have never been made fun of or don’t have to constantly fight with society’s ideas of what I should look like…I was mercilessly teased when I was younger…As a 20-something I had a Hollywood producer I had just met tell me that it was such a shame that I was fat.

You know what makes me “like” a facebook photo? When I see joy and happiness in my friend’s faces. When their eyes are bright and alive.

Why do people take a request for an honest opinion and turn responses into a demand to BE LIKE ME!

I just had to say, PS RugBug, I LOVE YOU!!! And don’t feel alone – I dated a jerk for a while in my mid-20s (he lived out of state, at least he took me on cool vacations for a while, but gah, I guess we all make that mistake at least once) and he seriously offered to “buy me some boobs.” I kind of choked and laughed together, as I couldn’t believe that was a real suggestion. My response: “Errr, no, I’m good, I like being able to sit the trot with no bra! If you want big boobs, buy your own and you can squeeze them all you want!”

[Mac123]

@RugBug;7683361

Please don’t think that I have never been made fun of or don’t have to constantly fight with society’s ideas of what I should look like. I’ve pretty much lived my life as the fat girl. I was mercilessly teased when I was younger. My body type has NEVER been represented in fashion. I’ve been teased about my cankles, my huge thighs (which are AWESOME when you participate in a sport that makes you wear tight light colored pants), my small boobs, etc. As a 20-something I had a Hollywood producer I had just met tell me that it was such a shame that I was fat. I’ve carried that humiliation with me for many, many years.

You know what makes me “like” a facebook photo? When I see joy and happiness in my friend’s faces. When their eyes are bright and alive. It ha nothing to do with the shape of their face or their features. It’s what is behind those features.

It’s not that I don’t agree with you - you have a lot of great points. My point is simply that YOU like the FB photo for the right reasons, but there’s 1000 out there who will like it for the wrong reasons, and that 1000 to 1 battle is a hard one to fight.

Your original post just struck me as insensitive. All of us are in varying states in our journeys of self confidence. Some have gotten to the point of being confident without make up, some not so much, but let’s not add to our overly critical world for judging those who aren’t at the same point that we are. Me now vs. a year ago vs. 5 years ago…I’m a whole different person, and I actually found my confidence through developing my sense of style and fashion. I started doing so because I cared what others thought, and then I started figuring out what I liked, and now I (mostly) dress for ME. That may include makeup at the barn. But that was a process, and I still have a ways to go.

While I agree that in a perfect world, none of us should buy into what we buy into, that we should all be supportive and non-judgmental AND that we shouldn’t give a flying fig about what other people think, the fact is that those are very hard things to do, particularly in our society.

We’re ALL at varying stages of fighting our insecurities and finding our sense of beauty and confidence…I would never berate a person or tell them to suck-it-up-and-not-care if they’re at a different place than I am.

[RugBug]

[QUOTE=SillyHorse;7683524]
Someone’s opinion about someone else wearing makeup to the barn is no more than mean-girl gossip.[/QUOTE]

Actually, it’s nothing like that. It’s too bad you can’t tell the difference between an opinion and gossip.

Example (this is one of my departed grandmother’s opinions)

Opinion: Fat women should not dance
Mean girl gossip: did you see fat Amy out there dancing? She is so disgusting and fat. She jiggles everywhere and makes me want to puke. they shouldn’t let her dance ever.

Now, my grandmother’s opinion was odd and sad…and bourne from a bygone era, but it wasn’t mean girl gossip. It was just an opinion…and oddly, she loved just about anyone get down on the dance floor.

Mac, I probably was a bit insensitive, but I did not berate anyone Or tell them to suck it up and not care or to even do what I do. I just stated that I find it sad that some women feel like they can’t go to the barn makeup free. and I do feel that way when I think about it…but someone would have to be wearing an awful lot of makeup for me to even notice. Heck, I didn’t realize my trainer wore full foundation/powder until the first time we shared a hotel room and I saw her put it on. (I can’t see a difference in her face with and without makeup)

[Kestrel]

After I had three people in one week ask me if I’d been crying or if my DH had hit me, I decided to start wearing some concealer on the dark circles under my eyes. It was much better than knowing that people thought I looked pathetic or DH getting tossed in the slammer for spousal abuse. Since I have skin one shade up from kabuki white, and pale lashes to match, I also wear a little mascara on the top lashes and a light hint of blush. Powder tops off the concealer to soak up any sweat and keep it in place. And always, always sunscreen - SPF20 if I don’t plan on going outside, 50+ if I do, on any skin that isn’t covered. Both my parents had skin cancer.

I don’t seem to have much of a problem with it running down my face after riding, but it rarely gets over 90 here. May not look fresh, but then I go home and take a shower (ok, you might catch me rinsing my hair in the washrack, but that’s just for comfort).

I can do a power make up job when I feel like it, but that may be once or twice a year, and when you get to my age (57) less makeup is usually better. I think most of us who do wear makeup at whatever time, do it because we feel better with it on, not to please anyone else. Other wise I would have quit wearing it after my MIL’s 10th lecture about how stupid it is to wear makeup.

[brody]

Whatever floats your boat should work just fine

[SillyHorse]

@SillyHorse;7683524

Someone’s opinion about someone else wearing makeup to the barn is no more than mean-girl gossip.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=RugBug;7684115]Actually, it’s nothing like that. It’s too bad you can’t tell the difference between an opinion and gossip.

It’s EXACTLY like that. Too bad you can’t see how petty and mean you sound. If I ask you for your opinion on my makeup, whether I should dance, how my hair looks, I am soliciting your opinion and making it your business. Someone else’s makeup, etc., is none of your business if they haven’t asked you for your opinion, and to discuss it is petty, mean gossip. As for your grandmother’s statement, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

[RugBug]

[QUOTE=SillyHorse;7684241]
It’s EXACTLY like that. Too bad you can’t see how petty and mean you sound. If I ask you for your opinion on my makeup, whether I should dance, how my hair looks, I am soliciting your opinion and making it your business. Someone else’s makeup, etc., is none of your business if they haven’t asked you for your opinion, and to discuss it is petty, mean gossip. As for your grandmother’s statement, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.[/QUOTE]

Someone DID ask for my honest opinion. :winkgrin: Just because you find it PC doesn’t make it mean.

Again, its still not gossip and you are making some pretty huge assumptions about what i say to people.

[Zuri]

Collie Caillet just released a song/video called “Take your Make up Off”. The song is about embracing natural beauty. The songstress never thought she was beautiful until a music producer, Babyface, told her. IMO she is really pretty with/without makeup as makeup is such a personal thing. If makeup inspires you to be your best self or the best rider you can be, so be it. It is neither right or wrong. How you speak to others and treat others, says more to me about beauty than any level of makeup. JMV

[heronponie]

The Colbie Caillat song is called “Try”.

I’ve suffered from severe acne for the majority of my life. That means my face is beet red and riddled with scars even if I don’t have an active blemish right at this minute (spoiler alert: I always do).

None of my friends or family have ever complained about the state of my skin. But I still prefer to wear makeup. I’m not particularly talented with makeup as an art form, so I just wear a basic foundation to cover up the redness. It doesn’t make me look acne-free… nothing ever will. But it makes the red scarring less obvious so you can actually see and speak to me without getting distracted.

No, I’m not saying people are that shallow. I am saying that I can see people’s eyes wandering all over my face when it’s bare. I think it would be pretty hard to NOT be distracted by blinking red “lights” flashing all over my face as I’m speaking.

So yep, I wear makeup to the barn all the time. Not my own because my horses are at home, but anytime I go to someone else’s barn? You bet.

[allintexas]

I don’t think there is a rule about makeup to the barn. Doesn’t affect me in any way if people wear it or don’t.

I don’t wear makeup to the barn or to any other exercise activity because I don’t like sweating and makeup together.

But who cares what anyone else wears or doesn’t?

[BAC]

If I’m coming from work or someplace else I will usually have makeup on but I don’t bother otherwise, I am just too lazy. The exception is that I now use Bare Minerals instead of sunblock on my face. It doesn’t look like I’m wearing makeup and it doesn’t run in the heat and irritate my eyes unlike most sun blocks, even the waterproof ones. Most sun products tend to irritate my skin anyway so the Bare Minerals is perfect. I wear an SPF 15 moisturizer under the Bare Minerals, which also has an SFP of 15.

[alternate_universe]

I have worn make up to the barn before, but only to cover stubborn hormonal break outs that I was battling and feeling pretty crummy about. It was still cold out, so I wasn’t worried about it melting. Other than those few weeks, I don’t. As much as I may not always like how my skin looks, the thought of having make up melting down on my face sounds even worse. Not to mention, I don’t use cheap make up, so I’m not wasting it by wearing it to the barn.

[Juliette]

Fortunately, I own my own barn, so I can wear whatever I want…so far, the horses haven’t complained
However, I almost never leave the house without a little blush, mascara, and my pearl studs. Makes me feel pulled together (even if I’m wearing stained barn jeans and boots) and confident. I could not care less what someone else wears.

[Mukluk]

I think I look better with make up meaning mascara for my pale lashes and brown eyeshadow. That is what I wear to work. That said, sometimes I am just too lazy to wear makeup so most times, I just don’t bother on weekends. In my next life I will have long dark lashes ha ha.

[Spud_amp_Saf]

I seriously can’t believe that this thread has made it to SIX PAGES. Does anyone really care either way?

I wear a little mineral powder, mascara and liner and brow filler EVERY day. I also wear perfume EVERY day. Why? Because I like to look awake and smell nice. I also like to wear clothes that fit and look neat to ride instead of baggy tshirts and the like. I don’t think it makes me and better or worse than anyone else, and I’ve honestly never even noticed who does or does not wear makeup at the barn or what they’re wearing. I’m too busy trying not to pick on the long run to the single diagonal oxer.

Seriously…SIX PAGES???

[ladyj79]

^^But not too busy to respond

[Spud_amp_Saf]

[QUOTE=ladyj79;7687436]
^^But not too busy to respond ;)[/QUOTE]

Nope, that’s what happens when I eat lunch at my desk :D.