Dear Judge SoandSo:
First I’d like to introduce myself. My name is KnightsMom and I was, until retired, an attorney with the prestigious firm Dewey, Cheatham & Howe. I write because soon to be before you is a civil matter involving my precious, beloved daughter Matilda TheHoney. She is a plaintiff in a case where she is suing for damages inflicted upon her person by a demented, bullying former trainer by the name of Bykael Marisonni.
I’ve heard wonderful things about you and your courtroom manner and how devoted to law and proper procedure you are. I truly hope the grotesque antics by Marisonni’s leacherous counsel, Sqidward Ball N. Incas and Topher Derring Ask don’t upset your proceedings too greatly. I recently had the displeasure of watching them in action at the criminal trial of my daughter’s almost murderer and they tried many shenanigans then. Thankfully that Judge, Teven Sailor didn’t let them get a way with anything.
I trust you will live up to your reputation and do the same. My friends and I look forward to watching you in action.
Yours Truly,
KM
BTW I wish you well on your reelection as I hear your fund raising efforts are difficult at this time.
This is the type of letter one should never ever send a judge ex parte.