More barn drama! (you know you love it) FINAL UPDATE page 13

[vxf111]

[QUOTE=TBROCKS;7892896]
Honestly? It’s up to the owner to network. Not me.

However, in the post above I did say I would contact the breeder and see if she would take her back. I can contact the show facility owner and see if anyone wants her there as well. That’s as far as I’ll go with it.
I do feel bad for the horse, but since this whole mess started by my being unable to set clear boundaries with someone taking huge advantage of me, my line in the sand is now drawn. I will not be keeping this horse.[/QUOTE]

We’re all different. You’re right, it’s not your obligation. But I couldn’t sleep at night if I didn’t. It’s just time, right? Doesn’t cost you a dime to put out the word. You shouldn’t HAVE to-- but it might help and it can’t hurt and me-- I’d at least try. But you have to do what you think is right for you.

Same thing if I found a stray dog. Should I have to network and try to find it a home rather than take it to a kill shelter. No, I shouldn’t have to. I have no obligation to. But I again couldn’t sleep at night if I didn’t.

On these boards I’ve networked to find homes for horses owned by total strangers. It’s just my time, right? Doesn’t hurt me to spend a couple hours of it helping out an animal. Should I have to? Is it my responsibility? No and no. But I did. Why not?

This HORSE didn’t screw you over. Her OWNER did. You gotta’ do what you gotta’ do but don’t lose sight of the fact that the horse didn’t cause this situation. Primarily the owner, but also you did by not setting boundaries and allowing things to progress. Now the ones who are going to suffer are the owner and primarily the horse. Just food for thought.

Again, not about obligations but about what you can live with having on your score sheet.

[trubandloki]

OP, do not let people attempt to make you feel guilty. Whatever happens to this horse is not your fault. Period.

[QUOTE=red mares;7892751]
Really? So legally she was informed 30 days ago & we (BO) can sell her horse?

I think Christmas came early. Doing the happy dance in my office chair. :lol:[/QUOTE]

Did you send a regular mail version of the same letter on the day you sent your certified letter? If yes then it sounds like you are all set. If not then you have to start over.
For your records I would mail them both at the post office so you a have a receipt that shows you mailed both things.

[Mtn_trails]

No exactly related but about 7-10 years ago someone in our area found a horse wandering around loose with a nice leather halter and leather lead. These people took in the horse, being horse people, and looked after him advertising all over that they found this horse. According to them, it was a well fed, nice looking, and sweet critter but no one came forward to claim him . I would think whoever had lost him would want him back. Most people came to the conclusion that the horse was stolen out of the area and somehow got loose and the thieves didn’t want to call attention to themselves.
The original people who found the horse couldn’t keep him long term but their friends were interested. However, according to the law, the horse had to be auctioned off. The friends who wanted the horse were there at the auction and mostly everyone in the audience were aware of the situation and no one except the people who wanted him bid on him. As far as I know, they still have the horse.

[red_mares]

[QUOTE=trubandloki;7893028]

Did you send a regular mail version of the same letter on the day you sent your certified letter? If yes then it sounds like you are all set. If not then you have to start over.
For your records I would mail them both at the post office so you a have a receipt that shows you mailed both things.[/QUOTE]

Darn, I think just a certified letter was sent.

[vxf111]

I hope the owner moves the horse and spares you the trouble, BTW. I don’t mean to guilt you. I am just suggesting that obligation or not, sometimes we’re in a position to help and animal and when we’re taalking about just spending time putting the word out-- it seems like that’s a good way to earn karma points without spending a dime.

[red_mares]

[QUOTE=vxf111;7893006]
We’re all different. You’re right, it’s not your obligation. But I couldn’t sleep at night if I didn’t. It’s just time, right? Doesn’t cost you a dime to put out the word. You shouldn’t HAVE to-- but it might help and it can’t hurt and me-- I’d at least try. But you have to do what you think is right for you.

Same thing if I found a stray dog. Should I have to network and try to find it a home rather than take it to a kill shelter. No, I shouldn’t have to. I have no obligation to. But I again couldn’t sleep at night if I didn’t.

On these boards I’ve networked to find homes for horses owned by total strangers. It’s just my time, right? Doesn’t hurt me to spend a couple hours of it helping out an animal. Should I have to? Is it my responsibility? No and no. But I did. Why not?

This HORSE didn’t screw you over. Her OWNER did. You gotta’ do what you gotta’ do but don’t lose sight of the fact that the horse didn’t cause this situation. Primarily the owner, but also you did by not setting boundaries and allowing things to progress. Now the ones who are going to suffer are the owner and primarily the horse. Just food for thought.

Again, not about obligations but about what you can live with having on your score sheet.[/QUOTE]

The stray dog analogy is way off base here. The BO has willfully stuck it to the OP for months. This horse didn’t wander in off the street.

[oliverreed]

[QUOTE=trubandloki;7893028]
OP, do not let people attempt to make you feel guilty. Whatever happens to this horse is not your fault. Period.

Did you send a regular mail version of the same letter on the day you sent your certified letter? If yes then it sounds like you are all set. If not then you have to start over.
For your records I would mail them both at the post office so you a have a receipt that shows you mailed both things.[/QUOTE]

Yes. Absolutely correct on all counts.

[gloriginger]

[QUOTE=vxf111;7893041]
I hope the owner moves the horse and spares you the trouble, BTW. I don’t mean to guilt you. I am just suggesting that obligation or not, sometimes we’re in a position to help and animal and when we’re taalking about just spending time putting the word out-- it seems like that’s a good way to earn karma points without spending a dime.[/QUOTE]

Nothing about the OP makes me think that if things should come to this, that she will let the cranky half lame mare end up on a truck to Mexico. She and her DH seem to be good honest people that got stuck in a bad situation. I am sure they will make the best choices for themselves and for the mare.

[vxf111]

[QUOTE=red mares;7893045]
The stray dog analogy is way off base here. The BO has willfully stuck it to the OP for months. This horse didn’t wander in off the street.[/QUOTE]

I’m just giving an example of another situation where I’d be willing to help an animal even without an obligation to do so. Clearly other people don’t feel that way. MANY times I’ve helped an animal without any obligation to do so. I hope if one of my animals was in a bad situation, even if it was one of my doing, that aninmal would find someone who would try to help.

[vxf111]

[QUOTE=gloriginger;7893062]
Nothing about the OP makes me think that if things should come to this, that she will let the cranky half lame mare end up on a truck to Mexico. She and her DH seem to be good honest people that got stuck in a bad situation. I am sure they will make the best choices for themselves and for the mare. :)[/QUOTE]

Good, I don’t know the OP’s screen name well enough to remember her post history but from this thread she seems like a pretty reasonable person so I hope that’s the case. Good karma eventually comes back around!

[HannahsMom7]

[QUOTE=TBROCKS;7892661]
I have a private barn. No one would see the notice.

As I stated before, I’m not in the market for another horse, and this horse has issues that, even on an expensive maintenance program, her ability to stay sound is highly questionable. She has a visible severe problem with a knee. She requires high dollar hay due to a previous history of colic. She has horrendous manners and is difficult to handle. Who’s going to buy her? Would you?

It bears noting that this person has not approached me, since this began, to ASK if I want her, or ask if there is anyone I know that wants a free horse.

The attorney and the state agricultural person have advised take her to auction if she’s abandoned, and that’s what will happen. I will not be tightening my belt any more notches to take away from my 3 horses to provide for this horse.

Please remember I’m not the one abandoning her.

Even if she was sound, I don’t want any ties to this person by keeping the horse on my property. With the behavior shown already, I have no doubt she would be harassing me at some point to see the horse.[/QUOTE]

I totally agree with you. It is not up to you to make sure someone else buys into this owner’s problems.

I would like to see each and every person that is trying to guilt you say they will take over the horse. Not one person has volunteered. Why???

OP you are doing a good thing. good luck!

[trubandloki]

I think the OP has earned a crap ton of good karma simply taking care of this horse all these months.

If the OP has the ability to add to her karma list by finding it a home if the owner is even more of a deadbeat then for sure do it. If not, I think it is about time she is able to move on with her own life and end her responsibility to a horse she did not ask for, so no loss of good karma, only a huge negative draw on the horse owner’s karma bank.

[vxf111]

If the OP is geographically near me and will give me the details (mare’s history, description, what auction and when) I’d happily put the word out. If everyone on this thread told 10 people and asked them to pass the info on, literally thousands of people could hear about the mare.

Setting aside the obligation issue (I’ve already said about a million times that it’s not about an OBLGIATION)… what would that hurt? Seriously. Tell me. If today you took 10 minutes of your lunch hour to send an email to some horsey friends cutting and pasting what the OP sent you and asked them to send it along-- what would you lose? How would that hurt? Can someone explain to me how doing that would be an insurmountable imposition or such a drain on their respources that they cannot spend 10 minutes doing something like that?

I’ve rehomed 3 “in danger” horses I never personally met just by sending emails and asking that the info get passed along.

[gumshoe]

I’d be curious to know how many would be eagerly scooping up a lame mare in need of attitude adjustment.

[vxf111]

For the record I never suggested that the OP keep the horse. I just suggested that she spread the word so someone who might be willing to take her on could go to the auction.

From the OP’s description, the mare is high maintenance but was sound enough to lessoned on very recently (sounds like she’s sound now on maintance) and be in training. She’s a bitch on the ground. If she’s nice looking and sound to ride, someone might be willing to buy her for next to nothing and spend money maintaining her. We don’t know what this horse’s training history is and we don’t really know what the vet issues are. Would I buy a made 3’0 horse who was a bitch on the ground and needed injections in her knee every 6 months if I could get her for $500-- I probably would think about it if I was horse shopping. Where is everyone getting that the horse is lame? One of the reasons OP agreed to let the horse come was to have a riding buddy, the husband of the owner was riding the horse on the property, the owner was riding the horse on the property, part of the agreement involved arena usage? It sounds like the horse is very high maintanance and may not forever stay sound but not like she’s currently lame.

Again… what’s the harm in getting the word out? If no one but the kill buyer bids… at least you tried.

[HungarianHippo]

[QUOTE=trubandloki;7893028]
OP, do not let people attempt to make you feel guilty. Whatever happens to this horse is not your fault. Period.
.[/QUOTE]

+1.
OP If the worst comes to pass, the law gives you no choice, and you are not doing this to the horse. The HO is.

For those who are saying the OP’s should try to network, and find someone to go to an public auction and buy this mare sight unseen, without so much as a trial ride: you can’t honestly think a few phone calls will result in a good home for an average, lame horse with nasty temperament, can you? Offering up anecdotes about the good outcome they’ve heard about experienced is not facing the reality of this horse. As an experiment, make a mental list of ten people in your network whom you can imagine calling and pitching the OP’s reality: you know of an abandoned mare with soundness and behavior issues and you’re looking for a someone who will take a day off work to buy her at auction. Can you really think of a single person in your network who’d take her on? The OP probably can’t, and she doesn’t have to make those calls to know that.

This will probably make me sound like a horrible person, but: if the worst arises–the mare goes to auction and to a kill buyer–she’ll have a crappy scary week but then it’s over. It’s not some unending torture. A horse that’s injured and has to go to a vet clinic has a crappy scary week too, but we judge it differently based on the context. Not saying I wouldn’t hate that outcome for the mare but if it were me, I would not feel guilt.

[CaitlinandTheBay]

[QUOTE=vxf111;7893129]
Where is everyone getting that the horse is lame? .[/QUOTE]

OP stated that mare was walking lame after the lesson, several pages back. I’m assuming this is where everyone is getting the “lame” thing.

Not that I care either way, just clarifying.

[TBROCKS]

[QUOTE=vxf111;7893006]
We’re all different. You’re right, it’s not your obligation. But I couldn’t sleep at night if I didn’t. It’s just time, right? Doesn’t cost you a dime to put out the word. You shouldn’t HAVE to-- but it might help and it can’t hurt and me-- I’d at least try. But you have to do what you think is right for you.

Same thing if I found a stray dog. Should I have to network and try to find it a home rather than take it to a kill shelter. No, I shouldn’t have to. I have no obligation to. But I again couldn’t sleep at night if I didn’t.

On these boards I’ve networked to find homes for horses owned by total strangers. It’s just my time, right? Doesn’t hurt me to spend a couple hours of it helping out an animal. Should I have to? Is it my responsibility? No and no. But I did. Why not?

This HORSE didn’t screw you over. Her OWNER did. You gotta’ do what you gotta’ do but don’t lose sight of the fact that the horse didn’t cause this situation. Primarily the owner, but also you did by not setting boundaries and allowing things to progress. Now the ones who are going to suffer are the owner and primarily the horse. Just food for thought.

Again, not about obligations but about what you can live with having on your score sheet.[/QUOTE]

There’s no analogy here to finding a stray dog and keeping this horse.
If you’ve read the thread, you would have seen I have cared for this mare, on my dime, for months. That’s what’s on my “score sheet”. And Monday, it ends. If you’re interested in taking this horse, by all means, PM me.

[IPEsq]

[QUOTE=red mares;7893045]
The stray dog analogy is way off base here. The BO has willfully stuck it to the OP for months. This horse didn’t wander in off the street.[/QUOTE]

There is an important distinction between the stray dog and this horse. With a stray dog, the person who finds it is able (without any legal recourse) to keep it, rehome it themselves, or take it to whatever shelter they can find that will accept the dog. The OP, if the lien takes effect, may only have the solution of auction, and while the OP can notify people such as the breeder of the situation and upcoming auction, the OP has no direct control over what happens at that auction, nor can the OP just rehome the horse. So, if the horse winds up in a hands of a kill buyer, then that is a very sad outcome, but the person in the OP’s position can’t really do anything certain to prevent such an outcome. If the OP had a stray dog, then the OP could take steps to ensure that the dog never wound up at a kill shelter. That is not the case here should, for example, the breeder or OP’s other contacts have zero interest in bidding at the auction.

[Cosmopolis]

[QUOTE=HungarianHippo;7893286]

This will probably make me sound like a horrible person, but: if the worst arises–the mare goes to auction and to a kill buyer–she’ll have a crappy scary week but then it’s over. It’s not some unending torture. A horse that’s injured and has to go to a vet clinic has a crappy scary week too, but we judge it differently based on the context. Not saying I wouldn’t hate that outcome for the mare but if it were me, I would not feel guilt.[/QUOTE]

Yikes… put me in the camp of “feel guilt”.

Pride aside if you can help this horse find another suitable owner please do. As lovers of these animals I feel a lingering obligation to help them even if it inconveniences me. Putting the word out there (with full disclosure) could only help.