My filly is abusive.

[Tasker]

I’m with Kyzteke and the others on this one. We have a farm full of Alpha’s (some a bit higher on the food chain than others) and not one equine is allowed to behave as though they out-Alpha me, my mom or the other handlers. EVER! There are no floggings, beatings or rough treatment - but there is discipline and other professionals (riders, groom, handlers or trainers) are always complimentary about their manners and behavior when they get to deal with the horses.

But enough of that self congratulatory stuff!

OP - try to think of your filly as ‘uneducated’ rather than ‘abusive’. (granted her pasting you is unacceptable to the extreme but it sounds like you’ve got a handle how to deal with her). Look at ANY interaction as a chance to educate her about how the world works. Everything from a simple moment in the stall together to leading - those are teaching opportunities! You’re the boss!

Good luck - stay safe! And if you ever need help - don’t be shy about asking other people with youngsters for a hand!

[ASBJumper]

Thank you, Kyzteke, for articulating what i’m trying to convey much better than I did.

E_m - that the punishment should fit the crime goes without saying, that’s exactly what I meant when i said “nobody is advocating the OP turn into a bully”. If the punishment is excessive or misplaced, that’s not being an alpha - that’s being a bully. Period.

[grayarabpony]

[QUOTE=NancyM;5938385]
If you want to see the result of humans “teaching manners” to horses, spend some time with an equine orphan, orphaned from birth. Even with the best intentions and the best techniques from the most experienced horsemen, most are at least very “odd” horses. Not normal. Many are very strange, even dangerous.[/QUOTE]

I have an orphan and he’s not very strange or dangerous. But he would have been if he hadn’t been disciplined and allowed to touch and interact other horses from the time he was born.

Horses are not always lovey dovey with each other. When a horse crosses the line with an alpha horse there is definitely striking, biting, and kicking.

Sometimes a horse just needs discipline and there’s no point in the owner beating themselves up over it. You do it, the horse learns to back down and listen to you, you move on.

[naturalequus]

[QUOTE=Kyzteke;5938810]

The idea of getting a horse to “move it’s feet” is fine, but to do that you need to have a halter & lead on it or be working in a round pen. This doesn’t work if the foal is at liberty in a pasture or in a stall.[/QUOTE]

It most certainly does work even at liberty in a pasture or in a stall. Furthermore, you always have the choice of putting a halter and lead on so as to create a schooling opportunity.

The OP did not say no pros were available to her, she stated her schedule is tricky.

[Equilibrium]

I think more to the point NE and Nancy were trying to make is over handling. This in itself creates more of the discipline issues. I like to teach the basics anymore and leave them alone to grow up and be horses with other horses. It’s not to say I have wild babies that can’t lead, can’t get their feet done, can’t do anything I ask said baby to do. It just means that after years of starting youngsters and also watching people raise babies near enough like cattle here in Ireland, I think less is more.

I know most of you on hear are trying to help. Most of you have more experience with youngster than OP. And obviously know how and when to use heavier tactics. But just read the post as if you never raised a foal before. You probably wouldn’t want one either reading these responses. Need a whip, a whittle bat, and a can full of BB’s. And really can full of BB’s girl, that’s honestly what you do? It’s easy to state what we do with our foals when they push the boundries but I think most of us leave them as babies too.

Really at 6 months of age they now need to be tarp broke, cross tie or die, perfect little angles to and from the field, one little transgression from farrier equals BB can attack, on and on and on. People don’t seem to actually know what a real boundary pusher is and a baby being baby. No wonder they rebel.

Terri

[NancyM]

[QUOTE=grayarabpony;5939341]
I have an orphan and he’s not very strange or dangerous. But he would have been if he hadn’t been disciplined and allowed to touch and interact other horses from the time he was born.

Horses are not always lovey dovey with each other. When a horse crosses the line with an alpha horse there is definitely striking, biting, and kicking.

Sometimes a horse just needs discipline and there’s no point in the owner beating themselves up over it. You do it, the horse learns to back down and listen to you, you move on.[/QUOTE]

At the risk of beating a dead horse, I will explain here that it is because this equine sourced discipline HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE, by another horse, correctly, is the exact reason why the human does not have to do it, only ACCESS it. As NE has so ably explained. When the human learns HOW to access what the foal/young horse ALREADY KNOWS, he has learned how to treat young horses without needing to use much in the way of actual “discipline” through some of the methods suggested here. Simply not necessary. Because the young horse recognises the assertive and confident manner that the human exhibits, he recognises a superior being WITHOUT having to have it “proven” to him by physical force.

If the human does not correctly take the role of the mentor, superior being and the young horse recognises that, does that mean that beating him (somehow) brings that knowledge to him? Do you think it does with human youngsters? I don’t, personally.

Somebody on this website has a saying printed as their signature which I think applies here (and I paraphrase)… “If your horse is not acting or reacting well and appropriately to your training, roll up a newspaper into a firm roll and beat YOURSELF on the nose with it, saying ‘Bad trainer, bad trainer’”.

[grayarabpony]

[QUOTE=NancyM;5939928]
At the risk of beating a dead horse, I will explain here that it is because this equine sourced discipline HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE, by another horse, correctly, is the exact reason why the human does not have to do it, only ACCESS it. As NE has so ably explained. When the human learns HOW to access what the foal/young horse ALREADY KNOWS, he has learned how to treat young horses without needing to use much in the way of actual “discipline” through some of the methods suggested here. Simply not necessary. Because the young horse recognises the assertive and confident manner that the human exhibits, he recognises a superior being WITHOUT having to have it “proven” to him by physical force.

If the human does not correctly take the role of the mentor, superior being and the young horse recognises that, does that mean that beating him (somehow) brings that knowledge to him? Do you think it does with human youngsters? I don’t, personally.

Somebody on this website has a saying printed as their signature which I think applies here (and I paraphrase)… “If your horse is not acting or reacting well and appropriately to your training, roll up a newspaper into a firm roll and beat YOURSELF on the nose with it, saying ‘Bad trainer, bad trainer’”.[/QUOTE]

And at the risk of beating another dead horse, a lot of horses, regardless of age, still push both other alpha horses and humans. They don’t just learn not to rock the boat as foals. Otherwise why would do many adult horses get kick and bite marks from other alpha horses? Happens all the time.

You know how other horses “ACCESS” a previous lesson? With a warning that if you cross the line I will hurt you. When the horse crosses the line – and they do all of the time – he generally gets kicked or bitten.

Like I said, it’s silly to sit there and beat yourself up if your horse misbehaves. A horse is a creature with a mind and motives all its own, not a robot. If a horse challenges you you deal with it and move on. Dealing with it doesn’t mean beating the horse either. :rolleyes: But a well-timed smack that stings does wonders for a youngster that’s being a smartass. lol It brings him back to reality.

[Kyzteke]

@NancyM;5939928

At the risk of beating a dead horse, I will explain here that it is because this equine sourced discipline HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE, by another horse, correctly, is the exact reason why the human does not have to do it, only ACCESS it. As NE has so ably explained. When the human learns HOW to access what the foal/young horse ALREADY KNOWS, he has learned how to treat young horses without needing to use much in the way of actual “discipline” through some of the methods suggested here. Simply not necessary. Because the young horse recognises the assertive and confident manner that the human exhibits, he recognises a superior being WITHOUT having to have it “proven” to him by physical force.

Again, I totally disagree.

Here is a perfect example: I have a mare who is alpha to most of my herd (although not to the fat little Arab – she is Queen :D).

It has been my experience that alpha mares tend to produce alpha foals. And sure enough, this filly, age 2, is working on being alpha. Of course she is not there yet, and as a consequence, she is COVERED with bite marks from the older, more dominant (at least for now) horses.

A horse with this “alpha in the making” sort of attitude will keep coming back and coming back, trying to raise their status in the herd. My guess is that within 2 years, this young filly will be alpha to everyone but her mom & the Fat Arab.

So, don’t you think it strange that, even though she has been repeatedly disciplined by other horses (and fairly harshly), she continues to push to the head of the line? Funny how even other horses can’t “ACCESS” this lesson…

Could it be that the filly in question simply has never and probably never will “learn” this lesson. She is bound to be an alpha and that’s that.

Now, if she wants to climb up the Horsie Herd Hierarchy, that’s up to her. I try to stay out of herd politics

But when it comes to people, WE are the boss and I brook absolutely ZERO attempts to out-alpha me.

Did it require beating? Heck, no. I think I’ve smacked that filly maybe once or twice (ok, maybe 3x) in the 2 1/2 years since she’s been born.

Is that the ONLY way I’ve communicated with her? Of course not! Smacking a horse as your only disciplinary method is stupid and short-sighted. And I do nothing as high-tech as cans of BB’s or even crops.

Usually I such smack the crap o/o them with my hand (and boy, I bet that really stings!:rolleyes:) while growling like a bear.

I would advise the OP to continue doing what she’s doing, and (ideally) investigate other ways of teaching a foal good manners.

But until then, I can pretty much guarantee the occasional smack isn’t going to kill her…

[darkhorse2572]

Agreed on many point~ most foals learn quite quickly and quite easily what the boundaries are with other horses and for the most part that translates very quickly to people as well~ some take more practice at that basic lesson of respect than others, however, so far I have never had one that has truly ‘pushed the limit’ to the point of being dangerous. (hope I didn’t just jinx myself!) Common sense and remembering to use every single interaction as a teaching ‘session’ has worked well for me! No means no, and that is that.

[akor]

I agree that horses will continuallly test, but here, I think it is fair to say you are really close to having a big issue and the filly may need to go to someone who CAN be “on” 24/7 with her and not let anything get by.

While horses do test, some more than others, they RARELY “test” the herd leader with a kick or bit way off the bat. Her reaction tells me that you are VERY low on her totem pole. “testing” is getting too close to the herd leader, maybe crowding their space, an ear back, a threat to bite, I could go on. But for a horse to walk up to the herd leader and whack them one? I don’t know that I have seen that happen.

I made the mistake of letting my youngster too into my space. It was hard to teach her to WAIT for me to approach her. (ANother poster described my sins quite well - even though I now better, I thought is was sweet that she came up all the time and wanted to interact. Then, something happens and you hope it’s just a safe lesson. Had to get my spouse in on it too.

Even my herd leader tests me now and then, but it’s over pretty fast. He make a body language move, I run towards him and growl (he’s a thin skinned OTTB that I believe was hit before and so i wouldn’t hit him) and then we are ok for months. If his first “test” of me was to just kick me, well, that would be a whole different story.

Good luck. But, again, I’d suggest sending the horse away for a bit. I talk a good game, but I know I am a bit weak and that doesn’t help the horse. So, really evaulate yourself and try to be honest about what you really CAN do.

[MyssMyst]

[QUOTE=akor;5940782]

I made the mistake of letting my youngster too into my space. It was hard to teach her to WAIT for me to approach her. (ANother poster described my sins quite well - even though I now better, I thought is was sweet that she came up all the time and wanted to interact. Then, something happens and you hope it’s just a safe lesson. Had to get my spouse in on it too.

…
Good luck. But, again, I’d suggest sending the horse away for a bit. I talk a good game, but I know I am a bit weak and that doesn’t help the horse. So, really evaulate yourself and try to be honest about what you really CAN do.[/QUOTE]

This is exactly where I got into trouble with mine, and it was hard to admit that I’d unintentionally created a problem that I couldn’t fix on my own. I’m not strong enough to do it. But now that I know how I got into trouble, I know how to avoid it in future.

[okggo]

One thing I have not seen mentioned, that I feel compelled to say to the OP - be careful of where you are at all times. I watched a very horrific incident one time where someone who was afraid of their horse decided to try Parelli, and started poking him with a stick to which the horse responded with a cow kick and the lady was right smack in the zone for the hoof to break her leg in half. I can still remember the sound…Now, I can tell you MANY things wrong with that whole ordeal, but you CAN and should position yourself around horses in such a way to minimize possible severe injury to yourself. Another example is milk testing, there are places to put yourself to avoid a hoof to your forehead. Safety first.

That said, I will employ quick discipline if needed but do not advocate beating horses. An example, years ago I was grooming my colt with a shedding blade. He picked up a leg to threaten and within that instant he got a whack and growl and then I went back to grooming. That quick, that simple. Most of our horses only need to hear my growl for the point to get across. I also believe in reward, particularly for learning things like working with hooves. Foals I take advantage of their itchy spot - as long as they are swinging the hoof or trying to get away I focus simply on ‘hold, relax’ and when they do and stand calmly I will scratch and place it down. It doesn’t take them long to connect the dots.

I will also say I do tend to carry a whip when working on the ground with them, but very very rarely use it. I see it as an aid, an extension of my arm more than anything else. A foal we purchased had pushy boundary issues, and I am also a firm believer of MY space. One day, one lesson, she figured it out. Remember what a horses instinct is, fight or flight and using their body weight/pressure. We often ask them to do the opposite of what they are naturally inclined to do (aka move away from pressure when they want to move into it), so it’s not really fair to punish if they don’t understand it. I started slow, 1. ask 2. tell 3. make 4. move away 5. reward. Eventually all it takes is 1. ask to get to 4. move away 5. reward. It took this girl all of 10 minutes to get it (never took more from me than a slight pop and body language), and I work it into daily things. For example, leading them out from feeding, I’ll stop and ask for a couple steps back and start walking again. Teach them the rules, and keep teaching. Repeat.

Edited to add, also know when to quit for the day. Baby brains fry easily. When you get what you asked for, know when to reward and quit.

[Kyzteke]

@okggo;5947167

One thing I have not seen mentioned, that I feel compelled to say to the OP - be careful of where you are at all times. I watched a very horrific incident one time where someone who was afraid of their horse decided to try Parelli, and started poking him with a stick to which the horse responded with a cow kick and the lady was right smack in the zone for the hoof to break her leg in half. I can still remember the sound…Now, I can tell you MANY things wrong with that whole ordeal, but you CAN and should position yourself around horses in such a way to minimize possible severe injury to yourself. Safety first.

Truer words were never spoken. However sometimes one simply can’t fix stupid;).

But in the general scheme of things, I would advocate alittle over-discipline than a little smarty pants youngster who can easily break your leg (or head…)

[amastrike]

Wow, I don’t spend much time on COTH for a few days and look what I miss!

Disclaimer: I use the term “beat” very freely. It doesn’t mean a prolonged, frenzied attack. I use it to mean a good wallop.

Little Miss is learning. I carry my lovely sturdy beating stick whenever I’m with her. She has been a lady since I turned into bad cop. Not that she’s perfect, but she is MUCH improved. She doesn’t barge into me when leading… if she happens to try, she gets a quick whack with the crop. We’re really working on learning “whoa” and “walk”. I lead her with the crop held out in front of her chest. If she doesn’t whoa immediately, smack. Generally only have to do it once at the beginning. I’m also introducing the idea of “whoa means whoa”–it doesn’t matter if I step away from her, once she whoas her feed need to stay planted until I ask her to walk. She’s starting to get it. She rarely tries to pull away when I pick her feet, and when she tries it’s not very effective. Dinnertime still needs work–it takes a minute to make her back off the grain dish while I put in dinner and leave the stall. Even that is getting better. She hasn’t injured me in over a week now! Overall she’s been a lot more careful and respectful, so it seems like the beating is getting through to her.

[Kyzteke]

@amastrike;5947714

Wow, I don’t spend much time on COTH for a few days and look what I miss!

Disclaimer: I use the term “beat” very freely. It doesn’t mean a prolonged, frenzied attack. I use it to mean a good wallop.

Little Miss is learning. I carry my lovely sturdy beating stick whenever I’m with her. She has been a lady since I turned into bad cop. Not that she’s perfect, but she is MUCH improved. She doesn’t barge into me when leading… if she happens to try, she gets a quick whack with the crop. We’re really working on learning “whoa” and “walk”. I lead her with the crop held out in front of her chest. If she doesn’t whoa immediately, smack. Generally only have to do it once at the beginning. I’m also introducing the idea of “whoa means whoa”–it doesn’t matter if I step away from her, once she whoas her feed need to stay planted until I ask her to walk. She’s starting to get it. She rarely tries to pull away when I pick her feet, and when she tries it’s not very effective. Dinnertime still needs work–it takes a minute to make her back off the grain dish while I put in dinner and leave the stall. Even that is getting better. She hasn’t injured me in over a week now! Overall she’s been a lot more careful and respectful, so it seems like the beating is getting through to her.

Good for you!!

Be aware that she will seem like she’s accepted your authority, then test again, and again.

She is a BABY and that’s what youngsters of any species do – they test and test and test till they are 3-4 yrs old. Stallions? Shoot, many of them are always testing, albeit often in subtle ways.

I know you are using the crop because that is what you are comfortable with, but I would begin to start investigating using a rope halter and teaching her to “follow the feel” and “move her feet.”

This is the foundation for teaching respect and communication to a horse. Check out some of the natural horsemanship sites (any of them will do, but my faves are Buck Brannamen, Craig Cameron, Martin Black and Leslie Desmond. Alot of folks like Clinton Anderson as well.)

If you want, you can PM me and I can try to explain the basics of it to you…

Once you get that down, you won’t have to use you crop much…your filly will quickly get use to your body language and you have to use the crop just for re-enforcement.

Plus you will be amazed at how light they get in your hand and how they will follow you movement without being tugged and yanked. It’s pretty cool. Not to mention it’s a great “partnership” exercise for the two of you.

Good luck – keep at it!

[amastrike]

What a good girl! Tonight I brought her into the stall and took off her halter. She sniffed at her feeder, saw me get her grain, and stepped away all by herself! She didn’t approach her dinner until I was leaving the stall. She does try to be snotty when I bring them in for dinner (Lily, her little brother, and the babysitter)–if I get someone before her, she tries to intimidate them into letting her go. And in return, she gets whacked with a crop. Kyzteke, yeah, I am more comfortable with a crop at this point. I’m not very good at hitting with my hand, so I think it’s more effective to use a crop because I can deliver a good solid hit. (LOL, this sounds terrible! But I’d rather give one or two solid, no-nonsense, don’t you dare mess with me little girl whacks than a million wimpy little slaps.) Crop usage has dramatically declined from when we started. But now I really want a sparkly pink crop to use on her instead of the boring navy and white one :D. I am willing to try a rope halter… is there a particular brand that you recommend?

[Kyzteke]

@amastrike;5950213

Kyzteke, yeah, I am more comfortable with a crop at this point. I am willing to try a rope halter… is there a particular brand that you recommend?

No – any will do. But pick one that is made of very thin rope – the thinner and stiffer the rope, the bigger the “bite”. So remember that – the yanking that you do with a flat, nylon halter will be magnified many times when using a thin, stiff rope halter.

And you might try switching to a dressage whip rather than a crop for several reasons, one of which is it is longer and so therefore a better extension of your arm, which is what it’s suppose to be anyway.

BE SURE that each time you have to whack her with the whip/crop, you lower your energy to a state of calm immediately afterwards, and follow up the whack with rubbing her all over with the whip in a friendly way. She shouldn’t EVER think the whip is a bad thing or become afraid of it.

You need to start transitioning from correcting her to DI-recting her – does that make sense?

So – as an example – to teach her to move back: start by facing her and her being about 6-7 feet away (get yourself a nice 9ft. rope lead rope as well). Start asking her to back by just wiggling the rope so the halter bounces again her nose. If you need to, you can increase the pressure. If that doesn’t work, you can “march” towards her. REALLY bring your energy up – literally march towards her – lifting your knees up high, chest back, elbows pumping – act like you are going to march right through her!!

Then, AS SOON as she even starts to lean back, STOP. IMMEDIATELY. Return your energy to quiet and calm, let the rope stop it’s motion and make sure ZERO pressure in on the halter. Praise her.

Rinse, repeat. Each time you can ask for another step.

It’s sort of hard to explain in writing, because it is all about timing, energy and release.

And remember to mix in plenty of loving strokes with hand/whip. You are not trying to make her afraid of you – just respect you.

The whip/crop should only be used as a final resort – your body language and energy should be the main “tool.”

Buck Brannaman has what he calls his “little red book” which explains all about basic ground work. It’s available on his website for $20 or you might get it from Amazon for less.

It will pay for itself over and over again, believe me…

Again, good luck – sounds like you are making progress – just don’t go overboard now with the whacking.

[naturalequus]

What Kyzteke said!!! OP, (imo) it is more important to thoroughly address the root issue and teach a horse to be aware of and respond to your body language, than to simply address the current transgression directly. Carrying a crop and doing as you are doing to be assertive and draw boundaries is excellent (I also suggest using a dressage whip - it’s longer so more effective), but using groundwork will further that and will allow you to start using body language in lieu (eventually, as your communication between you and your filly is refined and thus you are comfortable) of the whip.

Again - be very very very careful when you correct. By the sounds of it your filly is responding positively, but some horses WILL spin and kick or otherwise lash out at you when they are disciplined in such a way. Always keep yourself in a safe position so that if your filly were to lash out, you would not be in her path - this is where the dressage whip over a crop would be beneficial. As would the rope halter (personally I love the very flexible, soft ones because I like how they relax and drape over the horse’s face when not in use). Keep up with what you’re doing because it’s working. A last note: be assertive and maintain your boundaries - the primary one you NEVER cave on is personal space. Besides that, you can be flexible and pick at each ‘problem’ as you go. If drawing the line on something specific makes your filly particularly aggressive or anxious, back off and just take what you can get, building and polishing that specific task/issue from there.

Good luck and kudos on your hard work thus far paying off Stay safe!

ETA: re: the feet - it might be best (ime) to let the foot go if she struggles with it. Only if you think there is a chance she will get it back. If she might get it back and you cannot hold it quietly and passively while maintaining control, then let it go and re-ask. Just be calm, patient, and persistent until she gives up. If you hold onto the foot and she yanks (and particularly if she is successful), you might end up playing into her ‘game’, whereby you open the door for her to escalate. Something to consider anyway.

[Kyzteke]

@naturalequus;5951600

As would the rope halter (personally I love the very flexible, soft ones because I like how they relax and drape over the horse’s face when not in use).

ETA: re: the feet - it might be best (ime) to let the foot go if she struggles with it.

NE: I like the softer halters as well once the horse is more in tune with your feel. For a horse that is somewhat spoiled, the stiffer, thinner ones are more effective (IME) because they do deliver more “bite” per motion.

However, regarding the feet. Amastrike: remember the rule: “It is the release that teaches.”

So every time the filly pulls her feet away, she is learning she can do it.

I am older, and am really getting bad arthritis in my hands. They are so weak that any horse over 4 mos old can jerk their feet away.

So for some years now, I start my babies foot work this way: At birth and for the first month or so, I will ask them to lift up their feet, and within 15 secs or less I release. I’ll do this maybe once a day.

Then anywhere from age 1 week to 2 mos I have my farrier start to rasp the toes. I hold the foal and my farrier (staying low and not hyperextending the leg…remember these are babies) will do the feet. He is young and strong and they are NOT going physically be able to pull their feet away from him. So they may struggle, but as soon as they stop struggling, he lets the foot go…then we start all over again. Again, it’s the RELEASE that teaches.

But here’s the clincher: from then on, I NEVER touch those horse’s feet until they are 2 yrs old or so. NEVER. First of all, an unshod baby does not need their feet picked…stuff falls out all by itself. Secondly, I do NOT want to teach them they can pull away. They need to think that is an impossible prospect.

By the time they are 18-20 months old (the few that are still around by that time…most are sold), they are rock solid about feet.

So I would let the foot thing go for now. Another really important thing to remember is that it’s not how OFTEN you practice a maneuver, it’s how WELL you practice it. So doing it exactly right only once every few weeks produces better results than doing it incorrectly every day. Quality over quanity.

You don’t have to lift her feet every day…she isn’t stupid, she’s “got it”. But the more times you to it, the more times she has the opportunity to buffalo you and “win”. And that is exactly the WRONG thing to teach her.

What you are ultimately going for is to teach the horse there is absolutely ZERO point in “arguing” with you – that when you ask them to do something, they respond as if the alpha just flicked an ear at them 30 ft away – immediately and without question. Using this sort of consistency is really important with horses…again IME, consistancy of practice is FAR more effective than just quanity is .

Make sense?

[naturalequus]

I can see your point in regards to stiff rope halters to start with certain horses, Kyzteke, makes sense to me.

I have to also second your response as it pertains to feet, actually; I really like your approach with your babies Kyzteke. I did not realize this filly was only 6 months old (?) - for some reason I was imagining something larger In that case, hold onto the foot - you should be able to given her 6mo size. My response was aimed at larger, adult horses. In the case of larger horses (to clarify further), it is indeed the release that teaches. However, if 1,000lbs of animal wants their foot back, they will get it back. If you can keep it, fantastic. But if there is a chance that horse will yank their foot away and get their foot back (ie, they’ve been successful at doing so in the past), ime the best thing to do is simply to give it to them. Don’t create a habit of your struggling to keep their foot and their getting it back. Don’t release when they yank their foot away - just re-ask. Release by stepping away and allowing a rest break when the horse does well. Ime when you insist on holding the foot, you can end up engaging in a physical match of tug-of-war and some of these horses will escalate - you play into the ‘game’ they started. In doing so, you soon end up with feet dangling in your face as a result of their escalation. Instead, if you can quietly re-ask every time they yank their leg away, they soon give up. You’re not releasing the pressure when you continue to re-ask without pause. Continuing pressuring the horse (with quiet passive persistence), continue re-asking, until you get some “try” and an improvement. Act like you’ve got all day - they won’t continue forever; eventually they learn yanking their foot back is futile.

Another point - if you feel in danger of being kicked while working on this issue, OP, use a thick, soft rope (ie, a spare lead rope). Whenever I am picking up the foot of an unknown (possible ‘problem’), I use the rope. Same with teaching a baby who’s constantly yanking its foot back. Loop the rope around the back of the fetlock (both ends of the rope in your hand) and gently apply pressure. Increase the pressure, wait, release when they give. Increasingly ask for more (ie, for them to hold their foot for longer). I like the rope because you can keep yourself at a safe distance and you can maintain a consistent feel (ie, consistent pressure) even as the horse yanks their foot back. Transition to your hand while the foot is raised, after they’ve made a little progress. Put the leg back down, and re-ask, this time with your hand.

I also think Kyzteke is right in leaving the feet alone if it is a large issue (though right now, while your filly is small OP, is your chance to physically outmatch her) - when you direct your energy to obtaining a high level of respect overall, you will find the foot issue disappears.