My horse is uncontrollable in new places. Help?

[TheChestnutSamurai]

Hello!

The horse I currently own is my first one. He’s a 12yo chestnut TB that I’ve had for five years this year. I’ve hardly done as much with him as I’ve wanted to over the time I’ve had as most people have with their horses. I want to be able to compete and go to new places, but Sam gets practically uncontrollable at shows. When I mean uncontrollable, I mean head high in the air, looking at everything, calling out, spooking at everything (more than normal), and prancing under saddle. I’m not exactly a confident rider. I used to be, but I’ve had a lot of unfortunate events like falling which has left much of dented. So when the prancing gets started, the fear really begins to set in. Like, I’ll do everything you’re most definitely not supposed to do in these situations: lean forward, take up the reins as tightly as a jokey would, and sometimes just cry and beg to get off.

Now, before I get told that he’s not the right horse for me and that I should just “face the facts” that we’re “not compatible” and I should “sell the nag” as some people have politely said to me in the past, Sam’s a bad horse. He’s truly a sweetheart. At home, he’s a great ride when he’s not spooking at a bush or the cats running around. I’ve competed at my club before in hacks and dressage, and we got 5th in dressage, 1st and 2nd places in most of the classes we entered in one last hack and we even won champion in our class one year. The last hack I took him on, we got a few 5ths and 1st and he didn’t act up at all. We rode beautifully! But then I took him to a dressage show AT THE SAME PLACE a month later and he was uncontrollable (granted, it didn’t help that it was windy and he was getting separated from my sister’s horse; so that didn’t help at all).

Sometimes at pony club, he’ll be a dream ride and then other rallies he’s a nightmare, which I don’t understand seeing that I’ve been taking him there for five years now, so he should be as chilled as anything. Like, riders there have brought new horses in that they’ve had for months, and Sam’s still loosing his marbles after going there for FIVE YEARS. We don’t take him places with my sister’s horse anymore because our horses have separation anxiety, and with us being in different classes experience wise, Sam acts up and I can’t ride. The last time I took him out that wasn’t to pony club was at a cross country clinic three years ago, and I felt like he was going to bolt the entire time because it was open fields and it was a new place, so I had to walk him around on foot everywhere to chill him out.

My trainer has been helping me out as much as she can, but it’s, ironically, like leading a horse to water and expecting him to drink. Every time something goes wrong, we’re back to square one and I’m too afraid to do anything all over again. She’s a state champion and an excellent rider who has helped me with my confidence a lot before it crashes and burns every time something bad happens. She says that Sam is a very calm horse and a good fit for me when he’s not an arse, and a lot of people agree. She’s suggested a herbal treatment called Rescue Remedy for me as a last ditch effort, and it didn’t work.

I don’t want to get rid of Sam. He’s not a bad horse, and we work together quite well a lot of the time, not to mention that my parents and my trainer refuse to let me sell him, so either way I have no choice but to keep him, which I’m not arguing against. I think one of the problems is that he’s not confident. And since I’m not confident either, who’s going to be his leader? I’m being as patient as I can with him, which is obvious by the five years of doing practically nothing in the competition world bar two hacks and two dressage comps and a few competitions where I chickened out because Sam was loosing his marbles. I’m desperate for a way to be able to take him to places without him acting up. One of the teachers at my club recommended herbal remedies to calm Sammy down, but I can’t remember what she said about it. I’m open to the reliable and legal herbal remedies route if any.

If you want to know what I feed him:
1x biscuit of meadow hay every morning
2x biscuits of meadow hay every night
Wheaten chaff, lucerne chaff, pollard, magnesium, husks, water

He used to get pellets a while ago like Stablemate, but my trainer told me to take him off it because it still revved him up. Before that, he used to only get hay, but then I’d find him eating his own manure because he wasn’t getting enough food.

I also ride him as much as I can; mostly three days a week. Since I’m currently at university, that’s all I can muster, but I’m a five month break right now, so I ride him five days a week with the weekend off, unless it’s extremely windy outside which I refuse to ride in.

Hopefully you guys can give me a hand, because I’m desperate to fix this.

[Laurierace]

Stop trying to show him and just take him places. Don’t even get on, just walk around and hand graze.

[Highflyer]

The solutions are simple but not easy. Ride him six days a week. Take him somewhere new every week or so. Teach him to lunge at home, and then every time you go somewhere, lunge for 5-10 minutes before you get on. Once you’re on, don’t just hack around on a loose rein, get on a circle and ask him to do stuff appropriate for his level of training (lengthen/ shorten, transitions, lateral work.) No standing around-- that’s when they get the worst.

But ultimately, if he’s scaring you, you may need to get someone else to ride him at least for a while.

[TheChestnutSamurai]

My parents, especially my dad, get annoyed with me when I want to go to places away from home and do that; just graze Sam around so he knows the place and chills. They expect me to compete if we’re going away from home. I’ve done the whole lead him around and let him graze to get to know the place before a few times, but every time we’ve done that, my sister’s horse has to come so at least one of us is competing so the travel isn’t a waste of time (as ignorant as that sounds, I know, I know) and since they have separation anxiety we’re in more trouble than we started in.

[Pocket_Pony]

It is about more than just walking him around in new places. Your are right in that he needs a leader and you are not that person.

Based on your language and writing style, I think you are not in the US? Where are you located? You need more than a riding instructor. You need a trainer who can teach you how to work with your horse on the ground. You need to learn tools to get your horse’s attention. Just walking around and hand grazing doesn’t do it - as you said yourself, he’ll pay attention to everyone and everything but you. You need his attention all the time unless you tell him it is okay to do otherwise.

Google Warwick Schiller. He has a bunch of YouTube videos. Start watching those and see what he does with horses who sound similar to yours. You need a new approach to handling your horse. It will take some bravery and hard work on your part, though, so if you don’t want to sell the horse then YOU are going to have to make changes in the way you work with him.

[TheChestnutSamurai]

The only person who can float the horses is my dad, and he doesn’t have time to take Sam to a new place every week. I live in a suburban area and the stable is in a suburban area as well.

He doesn’t lunge at all. Like, I’ve tried to lunge him on a rope and he tries to drag me. The only place at my stable you’re allowed to lunge is in the round yards. I’ve tried doing it in the arena, but I’m not allowed to. Also, I used to lunge every time before getting on and that just revs him up.

I agree that I should get someone to ride him. I should do that. I should get someone to ride him away from home, because, since he’s home, he’s on his best behaviour most of the time in our arena there.

[Pocket_Pony]

[QUOTE=TheChestnutSamurai;8965873]
The only person who can float the horses is my dad, and he doesn’t have time to take Sam to a new place every week. I live in a suburban area and the stable is in a suburban area as well.

He doesn’t lunge at all. Like, I’ve tried to lunge him on a rope and he tries to drag me. The only place at my stable you’re allowed to lunge is in the round yards. I’ve tried doing it in the arena, but I’m not allowed to. Also, I used to lunge every time before getting on and that just revs him up.

I agree that I should get someone to ride him. I should do that. I should get someone to ride him away from home, because, since he’s home, he’s on his best behaviour most of the time in our arena there.[/QUOTE]

Lunging is a skill just like anything else and in order to be successful at it, you need to learn how to do it properly. This is another thing to have someone teach you - don’t just try to throw him on the line and hope that he knows what to do. You need to be very aware, have full control, know how to position your body, and have your horse’s attention. But if you don’t know how to do it via learning from a good longeur, then don’t just give it a whirl “because”.

Sounds like you need a trainer who can teach you horsemanship, not just riding lessons.

[TheChestnutSamurai]

I’m Australian. I’m from Adelaide.

And I’ve looked him up before. I’ve also looked up Parelli. The one thing that I struggle with the videos is that I watch them and I get them, but I get in the saddle and pretty much all that gets thrown out the window in my mindset.

I’m aware that I need to make the changes. I need it hammered into my head. I’m an overthinker by default, so one little spook means I’ll be on the ground whether I want to or not, and I hate myself for that. I started riding when I was five until I was thirteen, stopped for a few years, and got Sam when I was fifteen. Looking for my sister’s horse and then Sam lowered my confidence a lot.

[TheChestnutSamurai]

[QUOTE=Pocket Pony;8965878]
Lunging is a skill just like anything else and in order to be successful at it, you need to learn how to do it properly. This is another thing to have someone teach you - don’t just try to throw him on the line and hope that he knows what to do. You need to be very aware, have full control, know how to position your body, and have your horse’s attention. But if you don’t know how to do it via learning from a good longeur, then don’t just give it a whirl “because”.

Sounds like you need a trainer who can teach you horsemanship, not just riding lessons.[/QUOTE]

My trainer’s husband is good at horsemanship stuff. He’s been doing it for decades. He sold me a good halfbreed saddle and he told me a lot of good tricks. I think I’ll need to spend a lot of time with him.

[beowulf]

if you’re going to PC, rallies, and the like, chances are you already have a horse that is a seasoned traveler.

however, I agree – he needs a real program. And sorry, this isn’t what you want to hear, but BTDT in pony club… sell him for a different horse. Your lifestyle does not match his, and his needs do not match your own.

[Pocket_Pony]

Learning how to work with your horse on the ground will give you confidence and him confidence in you. I’ve had many difficult horses over the years. My current difficult horse . . . there was a time for probably a year where I would do ground work before getting on every time. It was good for both of us and gave me a lot of confidence and him confidence in me and I learned so much and got very in tune with him. If you do the ground work (not spinning on a lunge line, that is VERY different and not productive) ahead of time (properly), you will get your horse in tune with you and you will learn about feel and timing such that the likelihood of having issues under saddle is diminished.

You need to find a trainer who can work with you in person. I know AUS is a big place, but I think they are more into “natural horsemanship” stuff than other non-US countries. See if you can find a good cowboy to help you - one who starts colts or deals with problem horses.

Stay away from Parelli.

[TheChestnutSamurai]

[QUOTE=Pocket Pony;8965892]
Learning how to work with your horse on the ground will give you confidence and him confidence in you. I’ve had many difficult horses over the years. My current difficult horse . . . there was a time for probably a year where I would do ground work before getting on every time. It was good for both of us and gave me a lot of confidence and him confidence in me and I learned so much and got very in tune with him. If you do the ground work (not spinning on a lunge line, that is VERY different and not productive) ahead of time (properly), you will get your horse in tune with you and you will learn about feel and timing such that the likelihood of having issues under saddle is diminished.

You need to find a trainer who can work with you in person. I know AUS is a big place, but I think they are more into “natural horsemanship” stuff than other non-US countries. See if you can find a good cowboy to help you - one who starts colts or deals with problem horses.

Stay away from Parelli.[/QUOTE]

My trainer’s husband breaks in horses. Sam went to his property to get remouthed by another guy, so the husband knows what he’s doing. I’ve done groundwork with Sam a little bit, but definitely not as much as should and not enough. I’ve tried the whole desensitising thing with him, but not enough. I do it a little bit, like, before I ride in the arena I walk around beside him for a lap to let him look for anything odd. After doing that, he does nothing wrong. Sam is very manipulative. He looks calm most of the time but you don’t know until you get on.

But I don’t do enough groundwork as I should.

[TheChestnutSamurai]

[QUOTE=beowulf;8965891]
if you’re going to PC, rallies, and the like, chances are you already have a horse that is a seasoned traveler.

however, I agree – he needs a real program. And sorry, this isn’t what you want to hear, but BTDT in pony club… sell him for a different horse. Your lifestyle does not match his, and his needs do not match your own.[/QUOTE]

What’s BTDT?

[sirensong4]

BTDT = been there, done that.

And I know you do not want to hear advice to sell him, but . . . you also state that you are an overthinker, and prone to stress yourself. In my experience, a stress-prone horse and a stress-prone person are not a good match. You can make it work, with good professional help and with a SERIOUS FOCUS ON GROUNDWORK, because all of the issues you have described are escalations of issues that can be worked out on the ground. In the long run, though, it will be easier to simply find a calm horse that meshes better with your personality.
Remember that horses are supposed to be fun. We do this for fun. If you are not having fun, it’s time to re-evaluate.

[StormyDay]

I know your parents don’t want to sell him but truthfully it isn’t really their choice at this point. He is your horse, and you don’t feel safe or comfortable doing the things you want to do with him. A lot of people go through the same thing you are going through right now. The parents get attached to their kids horse, and they don’t see the facts; that the horse isn’t right for their child/teen/university student. However, your parents aren’t riding this horse, you are and it is unfair for them to demand that you continue to deal with these problems. You say that your sister has a horse that can go to shows and behave themselves. Is that fair to you, that your sister can compete and have fun and you can’t? No, its not. The only person who can decide if a horse is right for the rider is the rider. Your parents can’t make that decision. You have to.

While it is hard, I don’t think this horse is right for you. There are so many quiet, lovely, well
mannered horses in this world. Find one. Don’t scare yourself away from doing what you love just because of one horse. I have seen that happen to so many riders, and they usually eventually just give up and stop riding all together. Don’t be one of those people!

[TheChestnutSamurai]

[QUOTE=sirensong4;8965920]
BTDT = been there, done that.

And I know you do not want to hear advice to sell him, but . . . you also state that you are an overthinker, and prone to stress yourself. In my experience, a stress-prone horse and a stress-prone person are not a good match. You can make it work, with good professional help and with a SERIOUS FOCUS ON GROUNDWORK, because all of the issues you have described are escalations of issues that can be worked out on the ground. In the long run, though, it will be easier to simply find a calm horse that meshes better with your personality.
Remember that horses are supposed to be fun. We do this for fun. If you are not having fun, it’s time to re-evaluate.[/QUOTE]

Oh, okay.

Selling him is the last resort. I’m not ready to give up on him yet. We’ve been having a lot of issues, but I’m not going to sell for the easy way out. I want to do everything I absolutely can before resorting to selling him.

And, like I said, my parents refuse to sell him. I’ve tried. By our third year, I told them I felt like we weren’t going anywhere and I thought it was time to cut the line and start fresh with a school pony that was calmer. We got Sam based off my sister’s horse, also a TB and 18yo. Mickey is the most chilled horse ever. My sister has rarely had an issue with him and she’s had him longer than I’ve had Sam, so we were basing my horse on Mickey. Even when I told my parents that didn’t think Sam and I fit, they refused to sell him.

[SaratogaTB]

I’ve been through a lot of what you describe and I can honestly tell you that you need the right trainer to guide you through this. Sam has your number. He knows what it takes to make sure he doesn’t have to do much. My first OTTB had a few tricks up his sleeve too and when I finally found a trainer that taught me to be in charge, push back, and make him behave, our world changed. She had to get on him many times and show me what needed to be done, and it worked. I know how you are feeling, but its time to get the experts to help and have a plan of action. I started taking my OTTB to my trainers farm and that’s where we got a lot of confidence, in a new place where he could try pulling his shenanigans and I had my trainer right there if needed. He finally realized Mom really WAS the boss and things went well after that. You need to decide you want to and WILL do that, otherwise this will just continue I’m afraid. And let me tell you, even now, I fake it sometimes. I let him believe from my body language that I’m fearless, when I know deep down I’m not. But each time that happens I actually am a bit more confident, so it’s working. And he respects me. Good luck to you! Now go find some help…

[TheChestnutSamurai]

[QUOTE=StormyDay;8965931]
I know your parents don’t want to sell him but truthfully it isn’t really their choice at this point. He is your horse, and you don’t feel safe or comfortable doing the things you want to do with him. A lot of people go through the same thing you are going through right now. The parents get attached to their kids horse, and they don’t see the facts; that the horse isn’t right for their child/teen/university student. However, your parents aren’t riding this horse, you are and it is unfair for them to demand that you continue to deal with these problems. You say that your sister has a horse that can go to shows and behave themselves. Is that fair to you, that your sister can compete and have fun and you can’t? No, its not. The only person who can decide if a horse is right for the rider is the rider. Your parents can’t make that decision. You have to.

While it is hard, I don’t think this horse is right for you. There are so many quiet, lovely, well
mannered horses in this world. Find one. Don’t scare yourself away from doing what you love just because of one horse. I have seen that happen to so many riders, and they usually eventually just give up and stop riding all together. Don’t be one of those people![/QUOTE]

I know it comes to my decision. I bought Sam with my money. I’m riding him. And, no, it’s not fair that my sister gets to compete on a quiet horse and I have to have the crazy TB. But, like I said, my parents refuse to let me sell him. I’ve stated the facts and they still refuse, and it is selfish. I love Sam. I love him a lot. But I want to be able to compete. And I can’t do that with Sam.

But I don’t really know what to do. I don’t really want to give up on him yet.

[kcmel]

I have a young horse that is wonderful at home, and can be excellent at shows. But he is still unpredictable. He either wins or get eliminated lol!

I have never been on his back off my property. He is a very nice horse with a lot of potential, so for now I let the pros compete him (either his event or dressage trainer). We are hoping his naughtiness is baby horse stuff, and he will grow out of it (he has gotten MUCH better). The plan is for him to be my LL eventer, not a horse a pro is going to take up the levels.

I realize my situation is different from yours (I have another horse I compete, so I don’t mind not competing the baby). But I would still let a pro deal with this problem, especially since it sounds like your confidence is already taken a hit.

[Bogie]

It’s a shame your dad doesn’t understand that taking him off property is part of his training and that putting the time in now will let you compete later.

For a horse that gets revved up in new places, the best thing to do is take him as many places as possible and just hand walk him and let him graze until it becomes ho hum. Then, ship him, get on him and walk him around under saddle until it becomes ho hum. It might take a while before he’s calm enough to compete.

Can you trainer ship him places? Even if you go someplace just five minutes away, you need to teach him how to deal with the novelty and to start to listen to you.