My husband has cancer and I'm really struggling

That’s an amazing outcome! That’s what I want my hubby to be- that guy that keeps on keeping on. It is awe inspiring that one can lead a full and rich life, bladder free. You don’t think much of it until you have to.

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There are many people who live extraordinary lives, bodies altered by injury, war, disease and birth defects. We are not our body parts, we are our character and soul.

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No advice just letting you know you both are in my thoughts. Hugs!

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I really can’t offer much advice, either, but just want to offer as many hugs and jingles for you both as I can.

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I feel your anguish in your words, and my heart goes out to you. Sending you a big ((( hug ))) of support and strength across the miles. :heart:

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Jingles for you and your husband.

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I saw this thread last night but didn’t post because I had to gather my thoughts.
First, I’m so very sorry that you and your husband are having to go through this.

When my husband and I were dating (and only for a few months) he was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Needless to say , it was quite a blow.
He had 3 major surgeries over a couple of years and 3 rounds of chemo. We were in our 30s and he was young and strong so we decided to go at it full bore. There was a lot to consider , including having (or not) future children. We made arrangements for that but ended up not having any.
There were a couple of surprises, including one surgery where the doctors cut a little too high by accident but it was a blessing because they found that the cancer had spread but wasn’t detected yet. So sometimes decisions have to be made on the fly.
Obviously we got married during that, our 23rd anniversary is this weekend.

It was a very hard couple of years and all of it an uphill climb . But with excellent medical care, lots of googling , and yes praying, and both of us pulling we got through it. I spent time with my horse and dogs as much as I could and they gave me strength to give it to him.

Sending you jingles , prayers and strength. You can do it. He needs you.

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Thanks Annie. This means a lot. Happy 23rd anniversary!!
I have been coming to terms with it and accepting it, getting stronger and gearing up for the months ahead. It’s really helpful to know so many are jingling, praying and pulling for us.
My horses and kitties will be my saving grace.

To put faces and names with our story, here we are.
Much love,
Steph (and Dean)

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You are both (and the cat!) beautiful people. Your love for each other comes through in the photos. And you’re a Green Bay fan??

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Yeah, we are in WI and he’s a huge fan :laughing:

Thank you :slight_smile: He’s a good one.

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So sorry that you are going through this.

20 years ago, I went through something similar with my DH. It wasn’t cancer, but a deadly disease with no treatment at the time. It was hard, but we got through it and he’s still here.

Now the tables are turned as I have a rare cancer. My DH said it is worse to be on that side of the table and apologizes for putting be through it (not that he did it intentionally of course)

Truth is it is hard on both sides. I hope you have family or friends that can help you get through this. That really helps. We are trying to live our normal lives (although it’s hard as my activities are so limited now). And we are concentrating on the important things. Not sweating the details…

And, as you can see above people can live and in fact thrive and many situations.

My thoughts are with you

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You are a lovely couple.
You got this. Sometimes we have no control over things, but knowledge is power and gives you at least some control.
You got this.
Feel free to message anytime you need to vent.

ETA: it’s very important for you to make sure and maintain your physical activities. If you go to the gym, keep going. Morning walk with. Neighbor? Keep doing it . You get the idea. Eat properly.
You need to maintain your own health (mental and physical) so that you can run this ship and be there for him.

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You guys are adorable!:heartpulse:

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Go Pack!!! Sending a virtual hug your way.

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Love, hugs, and jingles to you, and strong vibes for a good outcome.

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Have a great weekend!

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A good friend was diagnosed with bladder cancer several years ago. She was given 6 months. After treatment at Sloan Kettering in NYC, years later she is still cancer free and was told there is no cancer evident. There is lots of hope!!

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Hope is so important! Thanks for the uplifting story.

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TWH girl
Wow I sm do dorry to hear you’re on this journey. COTH is honestly the most supportive, informed, wise and just awesome source of support.

My DH died of BC in 2017 and I pretty much journaled the whole 2 year journey here. I have no idea what I would have done wo COTH to vent, share, get advice, etc.

What I learned was this:
He was the decision maker. It was a hard journey for me but we agreed I might offer an opinion but it was his call and once a call was made, it was the right one. No 2nd guessing about things we couldn’t change.

Get the best docs you can. So much this. And let me just say kalispell mt is not the place to find those docs!

People mean to be kind. We got the whackiest, off the wall recommendations ( my cousins uncles grandmother ate coffee grounds and prune juice and lived to be 127 with 5 kinds of cancer!) And people say weird things ( at least it’s not as bad as. …some other cancer!!) I really learned to remind myself they mean well. The words don’t matter, the love does.

Vent, vent vent. Having some one(s) other than your DH can be really important. It’s scary. I needed a lot of hand holding myself so I had it to offer my DH.

Absolutely advocate! I researched, pestered docs, etc bc he couldn’t. No regrets there!!

Anyway, I’m sending you prayers and hoping you keep getting good news.

Andcagain, COTH is a fantastic place for support!

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@lilitiger2, I am glad to see you post today - you popped into my mind recently and I wondered what you’ve been doing.

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