New Cat, okay to close my bedroom door?

So I’ve had my fair share of animals in my life, but my experience with cats extends to the family cat that lives with my parents, and friend’s cats. Unfortunately my Grandmother’s dementia recently took a turn for the worse and she’s no longer able to live at home despite our wishes and work to help keep her there. That means her cat was in need of a home, and I took him in.

He was indoor/outdoor but I’m transitioning him to indoor only which is smooth so far since he’s really only comfortable with the two back rooms of my apartment nowhere near the door or slider. He’s on the more active side, and I’ve taken to playing with him 2 or 3 times a day and leaving treats in random places for him to “hunt” which he seems to like. He’s got about 900 things to scratch, and I got a huge cat tree that I put up against the window facing the huge front yard of our complex and a treeline on its left, lots of people and animal watching for him there.

I guess I have two questions: what level of hand-holding do cats need? This guy is suddenly a little clingy which I assume is normal since he lost his companion and he’s been uprooted. Most everyone thinks I’m crazy for how much I’m doing - I leave YouTube videos of birds and squirrels on for him when I go to work, that’s the level I’m on lol. But I think I’m used to dogs who need a pretty high level of hand-holding throughout their day. I am constantly thinking about ways to entertain him but I didn’t think cats were supposed to be this exhausting which I’d guess is a sign I’m overthinking it.

But more importantly, is it cruel to lock him out of my bedroom at night? I tried letting him sleep with me, but he averages about 3 hours before he’s trying to squish my eyeballs walking over my face or picking my nose with his paws. I do NOT do well without sleep and have a patient-facing job that I need to be functioning at my best for, and I was exhausted. He has the run of the rest of my two bedroom apartment, so the guest room, living room, bathroom, and kitchen. I rotate different toys that are left out, he has access to water and his litterbox and the cat tree. I play with him and then give him his evening meal before closing my door for the night. Generally he seems unaffected - he’ll try scratching the door for a minute or two around 3 or 4am, but that’s about it. I don’t react and he seems to taper to weaker attempts each night. He was snoozing in the cat tree when I opened my door this morning. Thanks in advance to more cat savvy peeps.


Most adult cats are quite happy to sleep most of the day, spend an hour staring out the window, eat, play with you for 5 minutes and go back to sleep again.

You absolutely do not need to let the cat sleep with you. Leave food and toys out. They often get the zoomies at 2 am.

You dont need to keep a cat entertained like you do a dog. They do like to sleep on your lap, or on your computer keyboard or close to you when you are sitting and reading or working.


It sounds like he is already adjusting to no bedroom. Just keep on as you are and he will figure it out.
Thank you for taking poor kitty in. And geez, leaving the TV on and hiding treats - he is going to be spoiled. :slight_smile: My cats learned that if they wanted to be entertained while I’m at work - there’s the windows, and boxes and toys on the floor so go knock yourself out.


You are a sweetheart for taking him in. Bless you.:kissing_heart:


All sounds good to me. Close the door and ignore, he’ll adjust :wink: and bless you for taking him in.


Can I come and live with you and pretend to be a cat? Seriously, you have produced so much activity and simulation for him, and I think that makes you a great cat momma.

I personally like to sleep with my cats, BUT I do not like them on my face, chest, walking all over me. So I lay down rules. I make it uncomfortable to do such things. Most of the time they get the hint that being on my face is a no go due to me pushing them away. Or if they are walking up and down my body I just move and wiggle making it difficult. (I only have one cat, but have lived with dozens over my lifetime).

That all being said, I do not see any reason to keep your door open at night. Some cats will cry, and try to get under the door, but he seemed to have adjusted to having it shut so I would continue shutting it.

Its an added bonus that you and him have no current habits and its easier to set the ground rules (or at least try) while its all new to him. He does not know any different way of being in your house.

PS Please post pics.


Haha! :rofl:

Thanks so much everyone. I know it all seems intense, but if I really stop and think, my need to do right by him is certainly wrapped up in the emotions of my grandmother’s transition. But I do feel a lot better, I always get the best advice on this board.

Bonus, he got through the night with no door tests last night, and I… slept for eight hours. Ah, bliss.

Pictures as requested! He was feral when my Grandmother got him, and seems to still have some of the intensity from when he was on his own, but when he’s in the mood to cuddle he’s the sweetest thing.


He is gorgeous. You two are taking good care of each other.


I luv him!!!

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Handsome boy :heart_eyes:!

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When I moved into my hew house, my bedroom became a no-pets zone. The door stays shut all the time. The dogs and cats were miffed at first, because they were used to hogging the bed, but i sleep SO MUCH better now! I’ll never go back to an open-door policy. :smile:

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Cats don’t need humans. Cats walk alone. Cats do just as cats wish. Cats are brilliant at training humans. Keep you bedroom door closed. The cat will sleep on your bed when you aren’t there, anyway.

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Beautiful cat…what’s his name?

We have the same cat tree except ours has two houses, no hammock and three beds at the top. I’ve had this cat tree going on three years and it still looks new after 6 cats using it daily.

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He’s so handsome! :heart_eyes_cat:


I would say you have more than adequately supplied items for his needs and he can be shut out of the bedroom.

Your description of him squishing your eyeballs and picking your nose :rofl: :rofl:.

Bless you. He is a handsome beast.


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He looks like a happy boy and you are doing a fantastic job of caring for him. Your grandma would be very proud of you. Like others mentioned, it is completely fine to keep Mr. Fluffy out of the bedroom at night. He might fuss a bit, but cats are pretty adaptable and since this is a new relationship he can get used to the new “rules.” Thank you for taking him in.

My cat wasn’t allowed in my bedroom, ever. I have a very mild allergy to cats that manifests as congestion if I sleep on a bed where a cat has been. She was fine. What was behind that door was just one of those mysteries.

He’s gorgeous and spoiled and my cats now want to know why they can’t watch Supernatural reruns all day.

I now only have 2 cats that sleep with me (down from 4-5 a couple of years ago). The rest sleep either in crates or in the bathroom (door closed). The crate-trained cats are happy; bathroom kitties are happy. Leave plenty of water and dry food for him, and he’ll be fine.


Thanks everyone! We’ve settled in to quite the little routine together and his personality is coming out. I know I’m still overthinking him, but I’m slowly starting to relax. He has discovered the slider to the outside so we’re hitting a tough period where he isn’t too in to the idea of being an indoor-only kitty. Kind of just hoping my neighbors don’t think I’m crazy as I make all kinds of noise trying to get him away from the door as I’m coming back from the laundry room. He’s smart and I know he’ll figure it out pretty quick.

I’ve discovered he really enjoys watching the toilet be flushed too, go figure. So now I keep it closed when its not in use, JUST in case he gets any ideas…


He is so very handsome. I have a cat that is fascinated by the toilet as well. I would think that would be scary for them but no…go figure :roll_eyes: