No longer frustrated with trainer :) Riding update!

[pAin_t_Misbehavin]

I’m going to give your trainer the benefit of the doubt. I can understand why she’d be concerned about you riding in the ring with other riders after your incident. A loose horse having a hissy fit endangers everybody.

Also you say you: were previously over-horsed; have confidence issues; and bought a relatively young OTTB. I can see why your trainer may feel she needs some time with each of you individually to help you sort out your issues.

Your trainer is there and knows you and your horse a whole lot better than a bunch of strangers on the internet. I’m glad you’re going to talk with her face-to-face.

It’s winter. Even down here we’re all having problems getting lesson times in. Hang in there, OP. Spring’s coming.

[merrygoround]

Having talked many riders through really difficult moments, I wonder why your trainer didn’t offer that option.

Sure the trainer can ride your horse, but if you aren’t riding your horse you will become less fit, and less capable of dealing with her.

[SnicklefritzG]

OP, when you spoke about losing your “riding privileges”, it made me wonder if you are a junior, i.e. under 18 and needing a parent or guardian’s signature for forms etc. Either that or your trainer likes to have a lot of say in what’s going on.

What to do next really depends on exactly what your trainer said and how she said it. If she expressed concern for your safety and said she wants to put 30 days on your horse or some such thing, I think that is totally understandable. It doesn’t look good for her business, and it’s certainly not healthy for you to continue getting dumped.

If you are an adult and fully capable of making your own decisions, I’d merely suggest sitting down with your trainer and talk about what you feel you need. If, like a lot of people, you need at least a couple days per week in the saddle to stay in shape, then let her know that. Ask how you can achieve that, but still give your horse the pro rides it needs in order to get over its issues.

communication is the key. Without that, there are always going to be these kinds of stressful situations. How your trainer responds will tell you a lot about them and how suitable a match they are for you.

[RaeHughes]

1. Take Madam Mare out of stall or paddock
2. Tack Madam Mare up
3. Tale Madam Mare to arena, trail, whatever
4. Ride Madam Mare

I don’t see why you have lost “riding privileges” - you own Madam Mare and are paying her bills. Unless you are seriously at risk of harming yourself, I don’t see that a little bit of over-horsing is bad.

[enjoytheride]

[QUOTE=RaeHughes;8013247]

1. Take Madam Mare out of stall or paddock
2. Tack Madam Mare up
3. Tale Madam Mare to arena, trail, whatever
4. Ride Madam Mare

I don’t see why you have lost “riding privileges” - you own Madam Mare and are paying her bills. Unless you are seriously at risk of harming yourself, I don’t see that a little bit of over-horsing is bad.[/QUOTE]

5. get dumped and break your neck.

Every time she is overhorsed chips away at what confidence she has left, increased bad habits, and decreases the amount of time it will take the trainer to get the horse safe to ride.

I am going to side with the trainer here. You have horrible weather that is preventing both the trainer from making progress with a green reactive hot OTTB mare, and the owner from riding safe trained horses.

I’m sure the owner could go out and get on a fresh horse that just bucked her off if she wanted to.

The trainer isn’t charging the owner for rides that aren’t happening, and she isn’t charging the owner for lessons on safe horses. If the trainer has a previously stated rule about no training rides or lessons below a certain temp I don’t see an issue. I’m also not going to force my trainer to climb onto a green hot horse when it’s in the single digits.

The trainer isn’t trying to sell the owner a horse, allowing other people to ride the training horse for free, or pushing to show the horse herself. I do think the owner should have a talk with the trainer, when is trainer going to ride the horse again, and does trainer think this horse is going to be suitable EVER?

If the OP knew she had confidence issues why on earth would she purchase a green hot OTTB mare?

[Ladylexie]

[QUOTE=enjoytheride;8013282]
5) get dumped and break your neck.

Every time she is overhorsed chips away at what confidence she has left, increased bad habits, and decreases the amount of time it will take the trainer to get the horse safe to ride.

I am going to side with the trainer here. You have horrible weather that is preventing both the trainer from making progress with a green reactive hot OTTB mare, and the owner from riding safe trained horses.

I’m sure the owner could go out and get on a fresh horse that just bucked her off if she wanted to.

The trainer isn’t charging the owner for rides that aren’t happening, and she isn’t charging the owner for lessons on safe horses. If the trainer has a previously stated rule about no training rides or lessons below a certain temp I don’t see an issue. I’m also not going to force my trainer to climb onto a green hot horse when it’s in the single digits.

The trainer isn’t trying to sell the owner a horse, allowing other people to ride the training horse for free, or pushing to show the horse herself. I do think the owner should have a talk with the trainer, when is trainer going to ride the horse again, and does trainer think this horse is going to be suitable EVER?

If the OP knew she had confidence issues why on earth would she purchase a green hot OTTB mare?[/QUO

I think that is solid advice.

[dontskipthecafe]

Ooookay, I think I need to elaborate upon what I meant by “confidence issues”. I previously owned a much hotter OTTB who threw me. A lot. That horse scares me. This one does not. I do not feel over-horsed on my mare. For a bit of context, this was us two weeks after she left the track:

I love this mare. She is my baby, and I have a lot of fun with her. She’s not going anywhere. I am not going to go into her entire story because it would take forever and I’m well known for never shutting up about her once I get going.

Also, by “wants to chase other horses”, I meant, “wants to be in front because racehorse.” She’s not aggressive at all. Even so, I am completely okay with being supervised on her, and hopefully riding at times when there will be fewer or no people in the ring.

[dontskipthecafe]

[QUOTE=GoForAGallop;8013200]
Three rides a week is not enough for a hot TB in the middle of the winter, so on the off-days, you can be giving her good lunging and long-lining sessions, which keep you safely on the ground.[/QUOTE]

Ohhh, this I most certainly know. I have been lunging her myself, and she’s gotten much better about that (she’s actually hotter for the trainer to lunge than she is for me).

[Gloria]

OP, two things…

1. She is your horse. If you want to ride her, go ahead.

2. If I were you, I wouldn’t. Do you understand that horse can seriously injure you? She does not need to be aggressive to injure you. She just needs to not mind you to injure you. If she did it once, she will do it again. I agree with your trainer that this mare needs to be sorted out by someone far more experienced than you are, before you climb on board again. Now don’t take this as a slash on your face. We all are there. Some of us can’t afford a trainer so we have to risk our safety and pray for the best. Some are luckier in that aspect, and you are the lucky one, so take advantage of it. I have a horse that tried to be a bucking bronco at a lesson. My trainer looked at him, and said, “he needs to go to boot camp.” I dismounted, and handed the rein to her, “yes,” I said. I don’t question things like this.

[Backstage]

[QUOTE=mvp;8013182]
And another thing! If you want to ride/fix your misbehaving mare, I don’t see why the pro won’t let you. Better you getting dumped than me, I say. If a HO wants to pay me to ride and yet remain the crash-test dummy herself, I let her do it.

Being so possessive of a client’s horse is stupid. And if you are only getting paid to ride it part of the time, I don’t see why anyone would want to take that position. Of course, if I thought someone else’s rides were making mine more dangerous, we’d have to come up with a new plan. Or the HO could have all the rides back.[/QUOTE]

Its certainly easy to say ‘better you than me’ when you aren’t actually the trainer who may have to deal with a injured student, or a larger incident if the student is unable to control her horse and other horses/riders are injured. The OP has indicated that the trainer is not deriving a financial benefit from the change in training program. It also sounds like the horse, while she may be quite nice, is not going to help catapult the trainer to some new competitive heights. Basically, it doesn’t sound like the trainer has anything to gain from this new arrangement except helping her client. It doesn’t sound like the trainer is being “possessive” - it also sounds like the trainer may have some real concerns, and it seems a little unproductive for random COTH posters to be telling the OP to just saddle up…

The OP absolutely needs to arrange a sit-down to discuss the game plan with her trainer, and stress how much she wants to be riding her own horse regularly. But, the OP should also be wiling to really listen to her trainer’s concerns and be open to the fact that there may be more issues than she is aware of.

[KateKat]

So first and foremost, I think as an adult you need to “woman up” and just have this conversation with your trainer ;). It already seems that you’ve let this issue fester and stew for awhile, feeling like your trainer might be slighting you or saying something about your abilities. Which, she very well may be but I try to give people the benefit of the doubt first especially if you haven’t had this conversation with her after the “incident”.

However, based on what you’ve said about your prior horse and the circumstances with this one, I honestly think your trainer is trying to look out for your best interests. There are a lot of riders where if something happened to them like what happened to you, they would be scared of their horse and want the trainer to take the reins for a few rides. IMO she’s trying to protect your confidence and look after your safety while continuing to make your horse a saner/better citizen.

[GoForAGallop]

[QUOTE=enjoytheride;8013282]
5) get dumped and break your neck.

I am going to side with the trainer here. [/QUOTE]

Yes. Also, while I appreciate everyone getting all flustered and indignant, without knowing the details of the barn hierarchy, the reality may be that if the OP does not go along with trainer’s program, she may be asked to leave.

I assure you that this is one hell of a crappy winter to be looking for another place to board in Massachusetts.

This is what the trainer’s COTH post would be:

"I have a new student on a young, hot TB mare. She recently took a bad fall off of her in a crowded indoor (no outdoor available with 4’ of snow on the ground, so we are all making do), because the horse got worked up about being with other horses, and the student was a little shaken and not able to put the horse in her place/keep her under control. I have asked student to do nothing but ground work with the horse, while I keep her in training for 30/60 days, in an attempt to get the horse to a more reliable level and work through her issues being in a crowded ring.

Now student is insisting that she is going to ride her horse several times a week, and won’t hear otherwise. I think that she is either going to get badly hurt, or she is going to hurt someone else."

The responses, almost 100%, would be “tell her to find a new place to board.”

Part of a trainer’s job is to keep their student’s safe, even if that means asking them to stay unmounted for a period of time. It seems like there is a communication break down here, with OP not knowing the “game plan”, but I don’t think there is any need to turn the trainer into some big bad villain who is trying to ruin someone’s horse time. In fact, I think she’s trying to do the exact opposite!

[Pennywell_Bay]

[QUOTE=KateKat;8013332]
So first and foremost, I think as an adult you need to “woman up” and just have this conversation with your trainer ;). It already seems that you’ve let this issue fester and stew for awhile, feeling like your trainer might be slighting you or saying something about your abilities. Which, she very well may be but I try to give people the benefit of the doubt first especially if you haven’t had this conversation with her after the “incident”.

However, based on what you’ve said about your prior horse and the circumstances with this one, I honestly think your trainer is trying to look out for your best interests. There are a lot of riders where if something happened to them like what happened to you, they would be scared of their horse and want the trainer to take the reins for a few rides. IMO she’s trying to protect your confidence and look after your safety while continuing to make your horse a saner/better citizen.[/QUOTE]

I agree.

Is this the trainer from the thread with Wish that the trainer was assisting in bringing him back to riding under sedation and the supervision of a vet?

Phone rings (not text)
“Hi Trainer X. When is a good time for me to come and ride Cafe?”
Get answer.
“I’d like to see how’s she progressing and get a lesson or supervised schooling.”
Or depending on response
“Can we set up a time to talk? I’d like to be involved in her riding and a part of her training. I have to be able to ride her and be comfortable.”
Or
“No? I’m giving my 30 days.”

[FineAlready]

I want to clarify something. If the trainer simply suggested that you not ride the horse for a while, I think that is one thing. I’d expect in that situation that the trainer would also be talking to you regularly about the horse’s progress and coming up with a game plan for you to start riding her again. If the trainer forbade you from riding your horse, without any further or developing discussion, that’s something else entirely. The second scenario would cause me to find a different trainer. The first situation would cause me to have a serious discussion with the trainer about the reasons she didn’t think it was a good idea for me to ride my horse.

I don’t know. It really depends a lot on the horse, the trainer, and your skill level. But generally speaking, if I get launched from my horse (which has certainly happened to me), I don’t just stop riding him and hand the reins over to a trainer. I mean, falls do happen.

[Wonders12]

OP, it’s really time to have a conversation with your trainer.

As others have mentioned, it’s her job to keep ALL of her students safe, and during your last lesson, you posed a safety hazard. (We’ve all done it, but it is what it is.) I don’t even teach full time and I’ve had more than one student who was over horsed and didn’t know it. So you may be. Or you may not be. But your trainer obviously feels that you are because we have removed the financial motive.

Talk.To.Your.Trainer. Some things you might suggest:

• Get ground work/long line exercises (this can also be a good workout)
• Watch the training rides o you're included in the training
• Ride her schoolmasters mid-day, outside of lesson times, when it's warmer
• Schedule your rides so they're supervised
• Schedule your rides when the arena is empty
• Only ride in lessons right now and keep the increased number of pro rides

Minimum, get an anticipated schedule. 30 days? Great! It's miserable out anyways. 90? I need a darn good reason and something else to ride. We'll see? Ya, no.

[quietann]

No particular advice other than listen to what everyone else is saying here… but, one of the BEST things that ever happened, WRT my mare’s training, was that I fainted and fell off another horse and hurt myself very badly two weeks after I put the mare into full training. She was a hottie (though nothing like yours), I was scared to ride her, and she had a lot of holes in her training.

[Bogie]

[QUOTE=merrygoround;8013209]
Having talked many riders through really difficult moments, I wonder why your trainer didn’t offer that option.

Sure the trainer can ride your horse, but if you aren’t riding your horse you will become less fit, and less capable of dealing with her.[/QUOTE]

This! I have always wanted to be part of my horses’ training. Even when I had an admittedly quirky horse, my trainer would ride him one day and then teach me on him the next. The goal was to teach me to ride my horse, not have the horse go better just for her.

It was very helpful for her to ride him because then she knew exactly what I felt and could talk me through the more difficult moments.

[RaeHughes]

[QUOTE=enjoytheride;8013282]
5) get dumped and break your neck.

Every time she is overhorsed chips away at what confidence she has left, increased bad habits, and decreases the amount of time it will take the trainer to get the horse safe to ride.

… edited for fit…

What a large assumption that Madam Mare is not rideable by the OP. IF the trainer considers the OP over-horsed, then thatis the conversation to be had - notremoving “riding privileges”. OP has stated that she can and has ridden the mare out before but not in this instance. No-one would ever take my riding privileges away except me. Yes, I would talk to my trainer about it - but then she would let me make the decision.

I am, of course, making a large assumption that OP can actually ride Madam Mare. Yes, I would certainly have eyes on the ground - or perhaps an action plan including a “when to jump clear” clause.

When I rode "On the Track TB"s that was a requirement of our trainer and we rode to rules. (I was not the small slip of a girl doing the track work - I was the heavier taller girl who did the “it needs to know it cant get away with that type of running so sit on it’s back” and “you on starting gate training” - tended to be a lot of red-heads and mares in that bunch as the trainer liked them.)

[enjoytheride]

While I agree that lessons with the owner on her own horse are necessary, sometimes it’s not worth it. While you can teach a competent experienced rider with some mild issues to learn to ride their slightly unsuitable horse it’s an uphill battle. It’s an impossible slope to teach a semi competent, beginner, fearful rider on an entirely unsuitable horse. The best way is to have the rider gain confidence and experience on a school horse while their own horse is ridden by a pro. Then you can start mixing in lessons on their own horse combined with training rides and continuing lessons on the school horse.

It’s nothing to be ashamed of at all.

In 30 or 60 days the rider will have gained miles on safe experienced horses, their own horse will have plenty of wet saddle pads under a professional who doesn’t take no for an answer, and it will be warmer.

[If_The_Saddle_Fits]

OP - This sounds to me mainly like a communication problem. It sounds like trainer felt that a couple weeks of pro rides for Mare and confidence-building rides for you would be a good idea - and then weather hit.

Trainer should be organized enough to realize the weather meant missed rides and be communicating a plan to move forward with you but we know that keeps farms in working order and communicating all the cancellations can be a challenge. So, start the conversation. Just ask for a plan and how the missing rides/lessons will be addressed. With the info you’ve shared so far, it doesn’t sound like trainer is keeping your horse from you but hasn’t done a very good job of communicating a plan.