Guess I will be a dissenter here and support the OP.
We have quite a few local schooling show circuits near where I live, and I have attended all of them at one time or another. There are ALWAYS oxers in the 2’3" division, and nearly always oxers in an OPEN 2’0" division. Novice, short stirrup, etc 2’0" classes may or may not have oxers, depending on the show management decisions. Heck, our rated provincial circuit 2’0" division has oxers.
It sounds like the OP’s divisions are open ones, so I would expect oxers in both of them. I rode the 2’0" and 2’3" heights for years because I had bad show nerves and got intimidated. I always had oxers to contend with.
I also think that the people are complaining purely because it suits them and not because of any real or even perceived rule infraction. If they jumped them no problem at the first show, they should have been able to to them at the next show. It is not up to the show to cater to specific barn’s demands. Yes, the OP could have chosen to in this case, run the division and make $$ off them, but I cannot believe the vitriol being spewed here about what a MEANY the OP is because he/she chose not to do that. Seriously? I had shows as a kid where I was literally shaking in my saddle and my horse was acting up, and NEVER did any coach of mine demand the show alter its plan for me. And if they had asked and been declined, I certainly would have understood that.
Next time I go to a show and see a jump I don’t like I’m going to ask if the show can change it for me. They will get my entry fee money that way, and gosh, it would be so nice of them, wouldn’t it??
If a student is having a bad day with their mount, it is a coach’s responsibility to find a way to give them a positive experience. I have shown more than once where I ended up schooling over fences and just flatting in some classes because my nerves got the better of me. My coach had a good over fences session with me and my horse and I had a good experience. How is it the show’s responsibility to make this happen, rather than each individual coach?
I don’t think the OP was wrong to refuse to remove the oxers, and if she chose to lose the revenue from those classes, so be it. It certainly doesn’t make her a horrible person crushing the dreams of poor, defenceless children. Give me a break. The kids are there competing, to win or lose–they should also understand that your horse having a bad day or a scary jump being in the ring is part of competing.