Nope

[Jealoushe]

@PeregrineHagen

But it’s not really that much fun for the person being very misunderstood.

OP I want to suggest you look into a phenomenom known as self sabotage.

https://positivepsychology.com/self-sabotage/#:~:text=Self-sabotage%20occurs%20when%20we,mindsets%20(Berg%2C%202015).

Are you able to get a job elsewhere? Your BFs family fired you you said so you were obviously able to work at one point, have you looked into jobs at all? That might give you the confidence to get out and do more and give you some extra money. Being disabled doesn’t mean you have to sit at home and pity yourself 24/7 for the things that have happened to you in the past. A lot of places hire disabled workers, while I’m sure there are challenges it is certainly not impossible

[Simkie]

@PeregrineHagen

Already did. Done.

If this thread has been the push you need to go see your horse, speak to the barn owner, and face his mortality after multiple years of doing none of those things, then good for you. And I say that with all sincerity.

I am admittedly dubious that you’re being truthful, after your long refusal to even consider any of this, and extensive laundry list of excuses why seeing your horse or connecting with the barn owner was so impossible. If that’s the case, I really hope you’re working toward it. You owe it to your horse, and to yourself.

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

Am I the only one who feels as if we were somehow as a collective lured into shouldering the blame for what the OP says was the final decision?

Or at minimum are being blamed for a situation with no easy answers?

[BrownDerby]

I feel the OP has bigger issues than we can address. I was curious about the green pasture in Calif. That would be an extra $500/month in water right there, not to mention electricity for the well.

[2DogsFarm]

Nope, no blame felt here
My 2¢ says because no collective Kumbaya was sung for OP, she posted one last Hurrah claiming she did what had been suggested all along.
But posted in the framework of "So, there!

For all we know the whole construct was a work of fiction.
A sort of Equine Munchausen by Proxy?

Do I smell a Blue Saddle?
Open Trailer?
Heroic TB amidst stampeding cattle?
20,000 Thoroughbreds?

[Alex_and_Bodie_s_Mom]

@2DogsFarm

For all we know the whole construct was a work of fiction.
A sort of Equine Munchausen by Proxy?

Fiction - maybe or maybe not.

That Equine Munchausen by Proxy thing is real, though - watched my ex-riding instructor do that with one of her horses. Oddly enough, that mare was an engagement gift from her husband. The mare was bred, retained the placenta, foundered badly. Think coffin bones on the brink of sinking through the sole. She was told by 2 vets, 2 farriers, and literally everyone who saw this poor thing struggle to walk, with sores on her body from where she would lay down until she absolutely had to get up again, to put the mare down. Having watched her do the same thing with her cats, I know that this person derived some sort of sick satisfaction from the drama of having ill animals. Not that she did anything to them purposely, but that she refused to take care of the problems (having the mare put down, or spaying her damn cats).

Definitely NOT saying the OP is this type of person, just that what you describe does indeed exist.

[2DogsFarm]

Penny for your thoughts
Oh, I don’t doubt MbP exists for companion animals.
But notice the grieving OP is still able to lash us with her wet noodle.
Which makes me question the whole of her timeline re: the final action

[Scribbler]

I am very impressed that the OP could make a decision, talk to the farm owner, and get vet and knacker coordinated to all happen within a 2 hour period.

Pretty much impossible if anyone has done this. Too many moving parts.

Obviously and understandably OP is just saying this to get us off the topic.

I have no idea how many of the details were true, but for me there are big lessons here about not blowing all your income on luxury pets such that you have no savings or cushion when life goes wrong.

[KBC]

Non urgent vet call takes days, maybe a week to arrange here…

Nothing in any of this makes a lot of sense, I grabbed my bingo card awhile ago.

[quietann]

@Warmblood1

This thread just sucks.

This one is right up there with “Child in My Pasture” and some other oldies…

[Scribbler]

@KBC

Non urgent vet call takes days, maybe a week to arrange here…

Nothing in any of this makes a lot of sense, I grabbed my bingo card awhile ago.

Yes.

Sometimes too people have real questions or issues, but they lie about the details to sound higher status. We get a certain number of juniors who want to talk about issues with “my horse” and then it turns out they just ride a lesson horse or are actually trying to amass dirt on a frenemy’s horse.

So I think there might be an aged horse in reality, but none of the financial stuff made sense and seemed designed to just impress us.

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

Well, yeah, and the barn owner would have to be contacted, regarding arrangements, including letting the vet onto the property at a mutually convenient time. I just assumed COTH was being shouldered with the blame for the situation. Because we didn’t find a solution to do something else.

[vxf111]

Regardless of what is and is not the truth, I am very sad for the OP. I hope you find some peace.

[SMF11]

Me too. I have no idea what the truth is, but I am disappointed at the piling on.

[Dr_Doolittle]

This whole thing has sounded fishy to me for awhile; like everyone else, I was initially heartbroken for the OP - what a horrible predicament, to be disabled, helpless, and have a beloved horse “out of your direct control” whose expenses are sucking you dry.

But as the thread continued, the over the top embellishments, dramatics, histrionics, defensiveness, and exaggerated claims made me very suspicious – we have been trolled many, many times before!

COTHers tend to be practical sorts, with lots of knowledge and experience to bring to the table - we tend to be sympathetic to this type of plight because many of us have been there – but we also don’t suffer fools gladly. Posters who dismiss all good advice and continue to deflect, make excuses, and embellish bizarre stories wind up turning the tables against themselves - and losing any sympathy we initially had for them.

There is no way that the OP could have “killed her horse” in the timeframe provided.

Maybe I am an overly cynical, but I call BS on all of this. We are being played, kind hearted people of COTH!

[2DogsFarm]

Meh
One person’s Pile is others’ Stop Yanking the Collective Chain.
The Fiction of The Horse Is Dead was the final straw.
If intended as a final thrust of the Mean Old Poopyheads Guilt Dagger it failed miserably & only made the whole twisty tale smell fishy.

[LookinForSpace]

Definitely time for QFP, but it’s after 1AM and I’m too bleary eyed to do it right now. Anyone else wanna have at it?

[Jenerationx]

@PeregrineHagen

Hello, I’m new!
I am not sure if this is the right spot to ask this question but here it goes…

Background on my horse.
I have had my horse for 22 years now. He is currently over 30 and has enough mild lameness that he shouldn’t be ridden.

He also has some attitude issues from being proud cut so he has never in his whole life been turned out with another horse. And I don’t think it would be safe.

I was in a car accident 8 years ago and can no longer ride anyway. I’m at risk for ‘internal decapitation’. I’m also a full time wheelchair user and my current barn isn’t accessible to me at all. So I can’t even go see him anymore.
(Previously he was a dressage horse if that matters)

I have been paying his board all these years and it’s far more money than I make off disability and it has been quite a hardship for the last 8 years. Leaving me with issues getting food and meds. But I love my boy.

My husband just lost his job and I lost all access to my meds that have kept me from being in so much pain I want to die.

So now at this point I can no longer afford to keep my horse. It’s not possible.

But I have NO idea what to do with him.

I can’t sell/lease a 30 year old unridable horse.
He can’t be given to a rescue that would need to turn him out with other horses. I think he might try to kill the other horses or at least injure them or himself.

He wouldn’t be suitable for a therapeutic riding center as he is too old and too lame for what they require.

I don’t really want to put him down. He is not ‘that’ lame. Nor do I think a vet would put down a basically heathy horse for no reason. Don’t they have a ‘do no harm’ clause?

I have loved this horse for more than 20 years but I’m in a bad way here and I can’t think of what other options are out there.

I do NOT want him to suffer or get sent to a feed lot. That would be horrific.

Im really scared and upset and I don’t know what to do. I did promise this horse that I would never sell him and would keep him until he died. He had a very hard life before me.

Is there anything that I’m missing or haven’t thought of yet as an option?

Please be gentle I’m really terrified.

QFP

[Jenerationx]

@PeregrineHagen

He is in very mild pain. Perfectly comfortable lounging around. I wouldn’t RIDE him. But he is really fine to just nibble grass and hang out.

I mean I am in horrific pain and it would be gnarly to have someone suggest that I should be euthanized!

At what level of pain would a vet agree to euthanize. Mine has never ever brought it up!!!
And how horrible would I feel euthanizing a perfectly fine retired horse?

I haven’t seen him in at least 3+ years now.

He is boarded at a woman’s home who also boards other horses. It’s absolute luxury. She is giving me board more than half off since my accident but it’s still too much. There are no other places less in my area. She pretty much takes care of him for me.

@PeregrineHagen

Do they have to agree to euthanize any horse regardless of its condition? If he isn’t ridden (which he hasn’t been in 8 years) and is comfortable will they still euthanize a horse that is basically fine?

I am sure is he was ridden he would probably be in pain. But since he is not ridden and just hangs out I am sure he pain levels are very low.

@PeregrineHagen

Maybe I should see if I can get ahold of my vet on Monday and talk to her??? This would be so heartbreaking…

QFP

[Jenerationx]

@PeregrineHagen

Ok, well I do see everyone’s point here.

I was hoping for another alternative that wouldn’t involve death!!!

But it really doesn’t sound like there are any.

If I had all the money in the world I would do whatever I could to keep him happy and comfortable.

I have seen others, with money, do everything in their power to keep them going and comfortable. And I wanted to be that person. I so desperately wanted to be that person.

I’ll call my vet on Monday. And I suppose I will have to contact the barn owner.

I haven’t been able to speak to her for a couple years because last time I was there she shamed me hard for being a bad horse owner. It was devastating.

Before my accident I did everything he ever needed. But after there was no money left. She shamed me for not paying for a very expensive horse dentist (like I used to) but I haven’t been able to afford a dentist in 15 years. I told her I couldn’t do it anymore.

She hates me now. So I find it hard to communicate with her other than to repeatedly thank her for watching out for my boy and giving me half off board.

Honestly I do feel like a horrible person. After 40 years in the horse industry I never thought it would end like this.

I want to thank you for your suggestions and and help. I didn’t have anyone else to ask who understood horses in the way you all do.

I’m heartbroken.

But I really appreciate the advice.
Thank you so much.

QFP