Official "Dear Willem" Advice Thread

[PeriwinkleBlue]

Willem, may a human ask for advice from you too? You seem very wise and knowledgeable and I was hoping you would have some words of wisdom for me.

Two years ago, my best friend in all the world, Amiga, went to heaven and left me feeling very very sad all the time. You would have loved her, Willem - she was so sweet and beautiful and friendly. She took her tiny baby filly, Esperanza, with her too, and I never even got to meet her or say goodbye to Amiga, because I was 15 hours away on the road, with a dead cell phone. And so I didn’t learn of the sad news until the next morning when I called my sister for an update.

My point, Willem, is that I am very lonely and sad now, because I have no horses to be friends with. I don’t know anyone around me who will let me ride their horses unless I go two hours south, which is just too long a drive for a Mouse to make every weekend.

I dreamed about Amiga last night and I woke up crying. I have finally managed to let her go, but I miss her so much. I wish that I could have a horse again, so that I would not be so lonely, but we just can’t afford it. I can’t even have a cat or a dog because our landlord forbids it.

This all makes for a very gray Mouse. Do you have any advice for me, Willem? I would be very grateful for anything you have to tell me.

This is Amiga.

Mouse

[Box-of-Rox]

Dear Willem,
yesterday, I took two of my horses to a local show. They don’t do a lot of locals, but we thought that it would be fun and there’s a LONG break between old salem and fairfield, so we went. They were AWESOME, but the show was really poorly run. The poor things were woken up at 5:45 and put to bed at 10:00. I did the best I could, and they were taken care of really well, but I feel so guilty. What can I do to make it up to them? carrots? peppermints? they got scads of both and i still feel guilty. am I unduely guilty?
BoR

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the price of three AP exams? $243
sign up for two SATIIs? $26
binders and office supplies for study guides? $53
three horse shows through may? $ a lot
NoDoz pills to manage it all? $4.99
the sound of “pencils down” come last final exam? priceless.

[PaulaM]

Another great one as well.

[Heineken]

Dear Willem,

I’m new to my farm and this weekend I jumped out of three different fields and got stitches…What can my mommy do to keep me from wanting to jump almost 5 feet into the field next to mine???

He’s here!!!

[Willem]

Jerry Garcia he would haff sayed that you bist ein few leaves short von ein full bowl. I don’t nott to know wot this means x-actly, but he vos daid before he could splain this to me.

There don’t nott to be no daid peeps under der jumps! Jumping it be VERRIE FUN und you haff to get over this scaredycatness. It don’t nott to be becoming fur ein horse to be scared.

Mebbe your modder she can use more leg wenn she be riding you to der jumps?

Red Storm, wot do you think?

PS: I be a German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

[Portia]

This is your loving filly-mare, the REAL Portia. Something happened a couple of weeks ago that has really been bothering me, and I need your advice and reassurance.

I was at a show a few weeks ago, just standing at the ring with Silvie, the nice lady who keeps me looking gorgeous when I’m at shows and, more important, makes sure I get my food on time. We were watching the other jumpers go around the course, and I was planning how I was going to do it better, when a hu-man (somebody the other hu-mans call “Mike McCormick” who is some kind of big deal with them or something) came by. He stopped and asked Silvie, “Is it OK for me to walk this mare past your stallion?”

Well, let me tell you, I was shocked! I’m a mare and I would know if there was a stallion around, and there wasn’t. So I looked around, then saw that the hu-man was looking right at me, and I realized he was talking about ME! Me, the gorgeous and delicate flower that I am, he thought [B]I[/B] was a [B]stallion[/B]!

I know everybody says I take after my daddy, but that just means I’m gorgeous and talented. It doesn’t mean I look like a boy! And I know I have a low, sexy voice (you got my MP3, so you know), but I sound like a girl still, don’t I?

The other hu-mans said it was nice of him to make sure it was safe to walk his horse past me, even if I wasn’t a stallion. But the silly hu-man hurt my delicate feelings. Then my mean brother Lucien just laughed when I told him about it.

So, I need your reassurance Willem – I don’t look like a boy, do I? I’m a beautiful girl who you would like to make many smoochies and schnuffles with, right?

Your filly-mare,

Portia

[Pirateer]

Dear Willem.

Maybe you does not know me yet, but I am Pirate. I have an owie on my leg. Man who wears big spurs say that I have a broken leg. All I know is it hurts bad bad.

Anyway. Rebecca (i luv her, she not wear spurs) is leaving me to go to play with OTHER horsies! I don’t like this. First i don’t get to go to shows or get ridden or even go outside, and now Rebecca is leaving me for all summer! I will be very sad.

-Pirate (who is happy that Rebecca not have a broken front hoof any more, and will be happier when his front leg not be broken anymore either)

[This message was edited by ABrokenPirate on Jun. 12, 2002 at 06:57 PM.]

[Pirateer]

They plays country music at the barn all the times! They used to play nothing but loud angry music, but that groom-girl not work there no more.

Yeah country. Although it makes me wanna dance, but i not is allowed to dance. Oh well, I pretend anyway.

-Pirate

[Mad_Mission]

Willem, You could be the new Dear Appy (or whatever they are calling it now) in RIDE! I believe it goes down in that area. You would give much better advice.

[Willem]

I liff in ein howse wot it be half covered like ein three-sided box stall und then half of it don’t nott to have no cover. Und I loff to sunbathe. Becose I don’t nott to go in no shows no more (becose shows I think they be verrie boring now becose Beed There Doed That), it don’t nott to matter if mein coat it get them natual sun kisses.

Evan, I haff to go now becose they be going to shut off mein computer for ein minuto so I be talking mit you tomorrow.

Loff Willem.

PS: I be a German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

[hitchinmygetalong]

I feel terrible. I go out to the barn every morning and clean my buddy’s stall, put nice fresh hay in for him, nice fresh water, some nibbles (vitamins), bring him in and give him a wonderful grooming (though not his “holster” - not yet, anyway) and let him snooze all day. In the evenings one of his barn people friends puts his muzzle on him and he gets to play and eat all night.

BUT I NEVER RIDE! I am such a busy person, it is SO hard for me to find time to ride.

Do you think he hates me for that? I am writing to you because I need a horse’s point of view, and you seem so wise and worldly.

Please help me sleep better at night knowing I’m not a terrible person.

Anxiously awaiting your reply,
Hitch

“I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning to sail my ship.”
-Louisa May Alcott

[Snork]

Dear Willem,

A while ago i asked you about my new trakehner who was about to arrive. Well, i’m glad to tell you that he did arrive, and i did just as you said. Meaning, I gave him lots of little kisses and he seemed to like it. You were right - he is a happy boy who does not try to buck my sorry behind off .

However, he is a very handsome BLACK boy with four white socks. I am worried that in this @#$@$# heat and humidity, he’s just miserable. I know I would be very miserable if i was wearing a black fur coat now.

Dear Willem - what do you do when you are hot? What does your mother Coreene (you loff her) do to help you?

Thank you

-snork and Echo

[CharleyHorse]

Dear Willem:
My name is Quincy and I think I am in love. The mare in question, however is very hard to get. She is already going out with Sherman, Jobe, Dreamer, and every other male horse in the barn! I can tell she loves me very much because when we are at the ring learning the course she puts her head on my neck and sometimes nuzzles me, but then sometimes when we are in the ring jumping she pincs her ears at me. Is this just a mare thing? How do I get her to become a one-gelding mare?

-Love Struck in the Barn

What does it take to be number one? Two is not a winner and three nobody remembers
Someone has a crush on the starter…

[Willem]

Your letter it haff made me cryed. This it be so verrie sad und if you vos here right now I could giff you some kusjes to make you feel bettre.

Amiga she be verrie beautiful und she haff beed so lucky to haff you for her modder. You loffed her und she loffed you verrie much. Und Esperanza she would haff beed your bestest horsje too.

Not to haff ein horse in your life, for you this it be wrong. I don’t nott to know how far you liff from any horses aber I be thinking that die best thing wot it can help you at first it be mebbe wenn you work mit die handicapped riding schools. At mein howse we haff one und die hardest thing it be finding peoples wot know things a-bout horsjes to take care off die horsjes as well. I don’t nott to know where in Virginny you liff aber here bie die list von die places wot be in Virginny:

Dream Catchers Therapeutic Riding Center
P O Box 1261
Williamsburg, VA 23187-1261
USA
(804)966-1414
dreamcatchers8@cs.com

Charlottesville Area Riding Therapy (C.A.R.T.)
5924 Fried Farm Road
Crozet, VA 22932
USA
(800)250-3391
cart@cartcrozet.org

Center for Rehabilitation and Development
101-K Turnpike Rd
Bedford, VA 24523
USA
(540) 587-6808

NARHA Premier Accredited Center
EQUI-KIDS Therapeutic Riding Program
P O Box 4095
Virginia Beach, VA 23454
USA
(757)425-8833
EQKIDS@aol.com
www.equikids.org

Astride with Pride, Inc.
1913 Bell Town Rd
Bedford, VA 24523
USA
(540) 587-0668
astridewithpride@aol.com
www.geocities.com

Accomac’s Angels on Horseback
P.O. Box 903
Accomac, VA 23301
USA
(757) 787-2446
flounder@visi.net

Make A Child Smile, Inc.
246 Cartersville Rd
Cumberland, VA 23040
USA
(804)492-5572
macsmile@juno.com
www.macsmile.com

Virginia Regional Therapeutic Riding Center
Madcap Farm
7306 John Marshall Hwy
The Plains, VA 20198
USA
(540)253-5643
vrtrc@infi.net

NARHA Premier Accredited Center
Triple R Ranch Special Equestrians
3531 Bunch Walnuts Rd
Chesapeake, VA 23322-2899
USA
(757)421-4177

Sky’s the Limit Therapeutic Horsemanship
8701 Cardiff Rd
Richmond, VA 23236
USA
(804) 276-7122

Ride With Pride, Inc.
2435 Shutterlee Mill Rd
Staunton, VA 24401-6225
USA
(540)337-7636

Rainbow Center 4-H Therapeutic Equest. Prog., Inc.
8033 Ashton Ave Suite 105
Manassas, VA 20109-8202
USA
(703)469-8962
rainbocenter@aol.com
www.pwcweb.com/rainbow

Pole Green Park Equestrian Area
13017 Taylor Complex Ln
Ashland, VA 23005
USA
(804) 779-7948

NARHA Premier Accredited Center
Hoofbeats Therapeutic Riding Center
20 Liberty Lane
Liberty Hill Farm
Natural Bridge, VA 24578
USA
(540)291-4663
hoofbeats@rockbridge.net
www.hoof-beats.com

Northern Virginia Therapeutic Riding Program
P.O. Box 184
Clifton, VA 20124
USA
(703) 764-0269
nvtrp@bellatlantic.net
www.nvtrp.org

Gallastar Equine Center, Inc.
722 Greenfield Mountain Farms
Afton, VA 22920
USA
(804)361-9214

Loudoun Therapeutic Riding Foundation, Inc.
41793 Tutt Lane
Leesburg, VA 20176
USA
(703)771-2689

NARHA Premier Accredited Center
Lift Me Up!
P O Box 104
Great Falls, VA 22066
USA
(703)759-6221

LifeHorse at Stonelea Farm
21510 Tithables Cr.
Ashburn, VA 20148
USA
(703) 729-6442
lifehorseva@aol.com

Horseplay Chesterfield County
P.O. Box 40
Chesterfield, VA 23832
USA
(804)751-4134

NARHA Premier Accredited Center
A Leg Up Therapeutic Riding Center
P O Box 1257
Abingdon, VA 24212
USA
(540)628-8492

Hazelwild’s Heroes
5325 Harrison Rd
Fredricksburg, VA 22407
USA
(540) 891-7101
ccone1@msn.com

Graz’n Acres Therapeutic Riding Center
14492 Ivor Road
Sedley, VA 23878
USA
(757)653-9615
grazn@juno.com

Die main site it be www.narha.org und there you can find mannie things.

Der brudder von mein modder Coreene (I loff her), he didn’t nott to can haff no dog for a long time und every Saturday he haff goed to die dog pound wot it be in Seal Beach, California und he haff walked dogs for them. This it beed verrie good becose the dogs they didn’t nott to have no body to loff them und he haff helped them.

Don’t nott to feel bad becose you didn’t nott to be mit Amiga wenn she haff goed to die Rainbow Bridge. Her und Esperanza they be waiting for you.

Loff Willem.

PS: I be a German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

[Red_Storm]

I have been very busy, punishing my Mom (whom I love very much) for letting the veterinarian float my teeth. Though I am an amazingly handsome and healthy fellow, I do admit that once in a while I feel my age. I put up such a magnificent fight, that I was quite worn out for the next couple of days. Why, I didn’t even have enough energy to prance when my Mom took me out for grass! Such treatment must be punished, so I have been giving all humans the silent treatment!

However, like all horses, I am a forgiving fellow, and so have decided to grace you all with my presence again.

I think that it is quite all right to enjoy it when your Mom (whom you all love very much) cleans your schnitzel. I enjoy it very much and sometimes my Mom says she thinks thatI get it dirty on purpose so that she has to clean it. She gets pretty embarrassed sometimes with just how MUCH I enjoy it. (My Mom is a good and kind lady, but she is a bit of a prude )

I noticed Quincy’s question and will answer it. I know that Willem won’t mind because he is a good and courteous young man, who reminds me of myself in my younger days. Do not attempt to understand the mares, my friend Quincy. They are wonderful beings and I love them all, every one of them. I sweet talk them all, and they all bat those lovely long eyelashes at me. Enjoy your mare when she is in the mood to be nice to you, but remember that she is not the only mare in the pasture and that there will be times when they will enjoy your presence also. I know how pleasant it is to have all the ladies think you are wonderful, and I have every faith that they will feel this way about you too.

However, if you see my special sweetheart, Promise, do not tell her that I have said this, as she would be sure to kick my fine red butt from here to next Sunday!

I am Red Storm, and I am old and wise.

[Willem]

Die grooming it be verrie fun aber you haff to remember to bring die water bucket to your charges mannie times. I haff seed that mannie peoples they don’t nott to do this.

Und why do so mannie peoples not dismount between die classes???

PS: I be a German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

[Willem]

Jade, this little brudder wot you try to don’t nott to tell me his name wot I KNOW it be Dekster, you haff to stop being so nasty a-bout him. He still be verrie little! He be a verrie little boy und mit litle boys you haff to giff mannie praises some times. Remember, you also haff to get over your selve too, all off this it don’t nott to be none of your beeswax.

Any how, not mannie horsjes pferden they haff nice trails like wot you haff at your howse, missy. You haff to be more happie mit what you haff. This ride it don’t nott to be grueling, it be tiresome und then wenn you haff getted home they haff giffed you a nice bath so you don’t nott to be stinky. Mebbe you need to get over it if you don’t nott to like die temperature.

I am loffing you verrie much Jade aber you need to remember that you don’t nott to be Barbie! You modder she loffs you verrie much too und wenn you do good und you get your lines in der right amount of strides und you get them blue hair ribbons, this it be die best attention of all.

Hhytken, do your owie it still be hurting? This it will go a-way verrie soon. Mebbe you need to tell your modder that you be verrie sorrie that you haff had this ak-so-dent. Then she forgiff you und then she only be verrie happie that you can jump so high.

Aber you don’t nott to can jump out of your field unless you turn a-round right a-way und jump back in! So this it be the way you can to jump high if you want to. Jump out und then jump in right after.

PS: I be a German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

[WhittiMcD]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The Best Horse Ever:

I know Goose! They are sometimes in the walls of the ring too and in the grass and, oh goodness they’re everywhere!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

There was a dead person in my new stall today Jobe! Whitney had to shove me in! But he went away as soon as I went in.

Dear Willem,
For the next two weeks, Whitney (my owner) said that we will stay at a nice barn with big stalls at a horse show. I love going to shows (I like to show off my braids) but I have two problems:

1. This horse show is by the racetrack, and whenever I look out my window, I want to go run on the track, instead of the show ring! Last year, at this show, I thought that we had to run as fast as we could in the show ring, like on the track, but that made Whitney mad (and she put a mean bit in my mouth), so I won’t do that again, but I REALLY WANT TO GO RUN ON THE TRACK! How do I let her let me do this? She is a very good owner, and she lets me gallop around the ring at home, but I REALLY WANT TO RUN ON THE TRACK!
2. The really, really big horse in the barn is in the stall next to me, and he sticks his head over the wall, and tries to bite me! I try to be brave, but he is a big, tough warmblood, and I am a skimpy Thoroughbred, so he is pretty intimidating. How can I deal with him? He already gets mad because I get more food than he does, and he won’t let me eat in peace.

Thank you for reading this! I am anxiously awaiting your reply.

-Goose

The One And Only: WhittiMcD

** Rainmaker **

“So I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention, and you know how much I need you, but you never even see me.” - Coldplay, Shiver

[Willem]

Und really I want to haff dinner now aber I will let it wait und come here instead. Becose I am loffing all off you.

MEIN SCHATZI PORTIA: You bist verrie beautiful und schon und mebbe this Mike man he be ein few leafs short off ein full bowl. I haff sayed before that Jerry Garcia he haff telled me this. I still don’t nott to know wot it means sactly, aber I think this it be right.

Lucien he only haff laughed becose this person he beed so dumb. Lucien he be SO proud off you und he be verrie happie that he haff such ein schatzi sister. I know becose he haffed telled me this him selve.

Liebschen, I am wanting to schnuffel mit you all die time.

GOOSE: This it be SUCH a verrie good name, I bet your real horsje pferd modder she haff watched Top Gun mannie times und she haff liked this name verrie much, wot it be die reason why she haff called you Goose.

I haff thinked about this for mannie hours und I think you can to do both problemos in one. Tell der Warmblut that you want to go und race mit him wenn your modder she don’t nott to be there, und then let your selve out off die stall und go over und race mit him. You know you win und then he haff eated your dust und this it make him to behave. If this it don’t nott to work you haff to giff him die finger.

MEIN PUPPIE FRIENDS: I am wishing that all off you can to come und liff mit me at mein howse aber it don’t nott to can be this way. I loff you becose I loff all puppies.

PIRATE: You think that this it be wrong that Rebecca she leave for ein while aber this is becose she want you to get bettre. She loff you SO much und she know that you will want to play mit her, aber then your leg it don’t nott to get bettre wenn you play. I bist verrie sorrie to hear a-bout your leg, wot it haff happened? Did you haff putted your leg down ein rabbit hole?

I loff bunnies, last year I haff three babie bunnies wot haff be borned in mein howse.

Und this man wot he wear spurs, mebbe you haff to take ein page von Goose’s book und giff this man die finger.

Wenn you don’t know wot to do, giff die finger. Giffing die finger it be ein verrie big cure all.

PS: I be a German horse und this it be straight from mein mouth.

[Risk-Averse_Rider]

Prozac Pony likes “Desperado” by the Eagles… that’s probably not going to make you want to dance.

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Approved helmet: Every ride; every time.