Needs lessons with an insured trainer.
Agreed. Particularly as this is precisely the sort of hands the OP has described this boarder as having. A very bad combination.
Get rid of the Tom Thumb. Terrible bit, can be dangerous.
Get rid of the woman. As someone else said, make sure she cannot be insured to ride on your property.
Can you make a sudden rule that boarders must train with you in order to stay? (Provided you want to get into working with the horse and his rider. I know nothing about barn/trainer/boarder insurance law.) It would be nice IMO if this nice horse could train with you and his rider could train with you too, but that is an ideal world where you have time and inclination and insurance to take this on.
The fact that the man went against your bit advice and came back with an inappropriate bit not even put on correctly tells me he isn’t going to respect your horsemanship.
Too bad. He and horse could benefit from your experience and the atmosphere at your barn, from your mentions of it in this thread, and your other boarders.
Is he your only male boarder? Could any other male boarders influence him for good, do you think?
He’s my ONLY boarder. And I think I could help him a lot, but I’m not really skilled enough to be considered a trainer or teacher. I do know people in the area who could do the job, and they’re not too expensive.
I’m rehearsing in my head ways to approach him. I didn’t really strongly advise him about what kind of bit to get, and he went to the local pet/feed/tack store and bought the headstall and bit. Some of the folks who work there are knowledgeable, some not so much. I think he’s trying to do the right things, but he doesn’t know enough to differentiate good from bad advice. Anyway, I’ll talk to him first about the bit and then about learning some basic equitation that will benefit him and his horse. Then I’ll see how receptive he is and whether he’s willing to go slow and learn.
[QUOTE=Miss Anne Thrope;8529390]
I didn’t really strongly advise him about what kind of bit to get, and he went to the local pet/feed/tack store and bought the headstall and bit. Some of the folks who work there are knowledgeable, some not so much.[/QUOTE]
Well, I see it quite possible that he went in asking for a snaffle bit and saying he rides Western and someone mistakenly thought this would fit the bill. It’s surprising how many horse people, even experienced ones, don’t realize that a broken mouthpiece is NOT what makes a snaffle bit. A lack of leverage is. I’ve even seen it already on this thread. If he’s willing to be educated ditch the Tom Thumb and get a more stable, gentle bit to start.
yeah, this is an accident waiting to happen. if guy is unwilling to get lessons and if girl keeps coming around. If he is willing to listen to your advice, i’d keep him on trial, but otherwise, someone is going to get hurt. And the poor horse!
From your description no good can come of the situation.
How old is this fellow? Any chance a “dutch uncle” type of approach from your husband might work? There are times when young males, particularly, tune out “mother” figures.
Your assets are on the line, here. That gives you a really big stick. That doesn’t mean you should start beating him with it, but you need to talk serious and now.
G.
[QUOTE=Miss Anne Thrope;8529390]
I didn’t really strongly advise him about what kind of bit to get, and he went to the local pet/feed/tack store and bought the headstall and bit. Some of the folks who work there are knowledgeable, some not so much. . .[/QUOTE] That sums up our TSC pretty much, because I’ve walked in there and they have had bridles already set up for you to buy with the grazer style curb on upside down, ie the long shank up the horse’s face.
Yes he needs lessons before that sweet horse loses its temper and dumps him. The gaited people use lots of broken mouthpieces on their shanked bits and don’t think a thing about it but it’s not a good idea, it does things to the action and can be quite nasty, and some gaited bits are just torture devices to be truthful.
The sooner you set down the rules the better off everyone will be - he needs to be able to ride to a minimum proficiency and it’s evident that he can’t and until he can he must take lessons to improve and make measurable progress (there must be some Pony Club tests out there to use, including horsemanship) or make plans to leave.
I suppose it would be too optimistic to imagine he wore a helmet?
I think the bit/bridle is sort of a red herring in this discussion.
The true issues are the annoyance factor and the risk of having a boarder who doesn’t know anything about horses. I think in your situation I would sit down with the young man and have a frank and matter-of-fact conversation with him.
Tell him that your barn is set up for experienced, independent horse owners. Say that it’s too much of a liability risk for you to have such an inexperienced person there. If you just want to be rid of him, tell him he needs to find a “more suitable” place. If you want to give him a chance and don’t mind spending a little time with him, tell him he can stay, but only if he agrees to get some basic education in horsemanship and riding. Then provide that yourself or help him find people/training courses from which he can learn.
Personally, because I could probably make the time and like to teach, if he has a good attitude, I would “train” him myself. But there is no reason that you should feel any obligation to take on this task.
Ummm the “guest” riding without signing your release is a bigger issue than the bit. You need to talk to him about the univited “unreleased” guest rider first as well as other rules and that you feel he is a liability to himself horse and you without some competent instruction.
Your ONLY boarder and, as described, he seems to be a huge liability risk?
Tell him he needs to move, no reason necessary.
Give him whatever time your contract determines to move and enforce it.
Hope next one will fit your barn better.
Think just informing him non boarders are not allowed to ride and only insured instructors approved by you may act as an instructor in any way, shape or form ought to solve your problem.
Thats not unreasonable at all and it’s positive because it gives him a choice. He can bring in an insured, approved instructor or he can move elsewhere. There’s no judgement of his GF involved so he should not take it personally.
Add that to your boarding contract too to avoid future issues.
Whine, whine, whine … I want to turn the clock back and just say no. Why do I never learn?
All the advice here is GREATLY appreciated … even if just as confirmation of my own thoughts.
Need to ask yourself what are you looking for in a boarder-- what questions do you ask them before signing them up? Your boarder selection process needs to be refined (unless this guy completely misrepresented himself in the “interview” process? – but even then, a clueless novice trying to pass themselves off as experienced is usually pretty obvious, too)
Even if he miraculously says “ok, I clearly need someone to teach me” (doubtful) it’s just not very realistic to think this guy is going to find a trainer to come to your property. There just aren’t that many instructors willing to travel to clients.
I’d tell him that your farm is setup for intermediate or above riders, you do not have the right setting for a novice, and here are the names of a few stables in the area that have a resident trainer. And here is your 30d notice.
Need to ask yourself what are you looking for in a boarder-- what questions do you ask them before signing them up? Your boarder selection process needs to be refined (unless this guy completely misrepresented himself in the “interview” process? – but even then, a clueless novice trying to pass themselves off as experienced is usually pretty obvious, too)
Even if he miraculously says “ok, I clearly need someone to teach me” (doubtful) it’s just not very realistic to think this guy is going to find a trainer to come to your property. There just aren’t that many instructors willing to travel to clients.
I’d tell him that your farm is setup for intermediate or above riders, you do not have the right setting for a novice, and here are the names of a few stables in the area that have a resident trainer. And here is your 30d notice.
Please don’t take on training him yourself, unless you are 1) qualified and 2) charge him market rates for private lessons .
[QUOTE=BEARCAT;8529974]
For your original question:
http://www.markrashid.com/docs/tomthumb.pdf[/QUOTE]
I’m going to print this and use it as an opening to the hard conversation. IF he takes this seriously and returns this bit, it will tell me he’s open to learning. If not … well, that will tell a whole other story.
He’s 21, very likable, seems very responsible, just a bit naive, I think, when it comes to horses, but then again, so was I when I got my first one.
[QUOTE=HungarianHippo;8529969]
Need to ask yourself what are you looking for in a boarder-- what questions do you ask them before signing them up? [/QUOTE]
Not looking for a boarder AT ALL, but I understand the situation around here is tough, not many options for boarding, and the ones that are out there, well, I wouldn’t want my own horses at them. He’s not the first person to knock on my door asking about boarding. Some are clearly unsuitable right from the start. Most run away when I tell them what I want for board. This guy seemed like a good fit, and I still have some hope that it turns out to be so. If not, I’m putting a sign at the end of the driveway: NO, WE DO NOT BOARD HORSES HERE!
I just remembered, too, that when I cringed at his new bit, he looked at one of my bridles with a full-cheek snaffle and said he thought that’s what he was getting, so he wasn’t deliberately ignoring my advice. That’s hopeful.
