I totally agree with Ashby and Quin-you have to be curt, and to the point with unwanted attention like this-no more nice guy, drop the “Please” “Thank You” and “Sincerely” stuff as Judge Judy says “This is not a Tea Dance”. It’s time to be curt to the point of what we consider rudeness. Every stalking case I ever heard of the person tried to be nice and discourage the person in the conventional way that would make a regular person realize they need to quit, but this psycho is obviously delusional to the point of insanity. You need to lock the gates, move the horse away from the road, and be alert at all times, especially at shows. You definitely need to make out a police report and print copies of the emails. If you run into her (how much of an accident are the run ins anyway?) refuse to talk to her, tell her loudly to go away or you’re calling the police now and if she bothers you call the cops right then. We are all brought up to be polite and nice but that doesn’t cut it with a whack job like this and I bet if they did some checking that she’s had previous run ins with the cops whether charges were filed or not. If she sends the student and her parents anywhere near you then tell them in front of witnesses the horse is not for sale and that they are to leave you alone or you will file charges. There is nothing stopping the nutjob trainer telling them that they now own the horse and that they should come by and pick him up for Christmas, or sending some unsuspecting shipper to get him-I think between now and the 25th is the most risky time with this nut case, and I wouldn’t be too surprised if the parents and kid show up at the barn someday to see their new horse, or you look out and see someone at the road or driving by showing off their future new horse they paid the ‘trainer’ for already. Watch your back and watch Winston’s back-keep safe and do whatever you have to do to protect yourself from this nut case. Remember mental illness can be an excuse in court for almost anything these days. I’m sorry you have to go through this, I’ve been there and it can really scare you. Whatever you do don’t go anywhere near this nut if you can avoid it and keep your cell charged.
[QUOTE=Quin;3732722]
Tempting as it would be to respond with some outrageous price, don’t do it - you would be opening negotiations and inviting her to have ongoing contact with you and Tommy in the future, and that’s exactly what you don’t want.
Your reply needs to say
1. He is not for sale.
2. He has never been for sale.
3. He will never be for sale to you.
And most importantly
4. You are specifically putting her on notice that she is not authorized to have any contact with you or your horse, and you will regard any further attempts to contact you or to attempt to sell your horse to any of her clients as harassment. THEN you can go to the authorities if she persists.[/QUOTE]
Agreed with the above poster.
This is a VERY serious situation, one that should neither be ignored or joked about.
I had someone who came out to see a sale horse this year, they loved the horse, the horse was less than thrilled with them and I felt it wasn’t the best match. I told them no go on the sale.
The woman called me several times a day, even after I told her I wasn’t selling him to her. She came by (they lived over an hour away!), so I started locking my paddocks… good thing too, I found truck and trailer tracks one morning and checked my surveillance cameras. Sure enough crazy lady came by with truck and trailer and attempted to open the gate, drove off when the motion sensor light went off and when she realized we a) had cameras b) had locked the paddocks. Needless to say I reported her to the authorities.
I am usually very trusting and never thought she would attempt something like this…
I love that–"…ban her from the shows… detrimental to her career…" Sounds like her student has a screw loose too.
I agree with everyone who told you take this seriously, document everything and get Tommy microchipped. The woman is a total nutjob!
I’m also wondering if those downed fences you found this weekend weren’t as harmless as they appeared. Perhaps they had some “help” and crazy lady was hoping Tommy would wander down to her “fabulous” facility now that she’s so close. Scary thought, but with people like her you can’t be too careful. It might be worth keeping the boys in their stalls at night until she shifts her focus to someone/somthing else.
In your first thread I thought this was funny. Now not so much. The below bears repeating:
Don’t underestimate how serious this can become. I don’t mean to scare you, but people who are mentally ill in this particular way tend to get worse, not better. A borderline personality with obsessive-compulsive overtones is not a condition that spontaneously improves. It’s very, very important to do nothing that will escalate an unpleasant situation into something dangerous. So after you send that cease-and-desist message, you must not have any contact with this creature.
The scariest crazy people are the ones who look, sound, and act like they are perfectly normal and even nice. And then they say something that makes you :eek:
Take all precautions to protect your horse and you.
Wow…just wow. Please be careful and if it were me I would be taking some of the good advice given here. This whackjob scares the bejeesus out of me, and I’m not even involved.
Everything you say is valid, Jan. But on this sole point, I disagree. Continuing emails constitute evidence. Don’t block the emails; don’t change the phone number unless there are unbearable calls. Just document everything.
In addition to the other great advice you’ve gotten, any chance of chatting with the crazy chick’s clients that she’s trying to buy him for?
I’d just take a stab that they have no idea the situation, especially her offer that they will happily pay 20% over any other offer. Maybe once they understand how off the wall their trainer is, they themselves could say something to her along the lines of “We changed our minds, we don’t want a black horse with a bow for Christmas anymore, we want a PALOMINO!” or something else to try and switch her focus off you and your horse…?
Honestly, I wouldn’t even reply to that e-mail. It sounds very highschool to me and replying is only feeding the flame.
My acknowledging it you are just feeding into her games.
My advice is to…
Ignore her, ignore her, IGNORE HER.
You will get nowhere responding, and it might just make her angry.
Get him microchipped.
I wouldn’t file a police report. She’s not threatening you or harassing you in any way…yet.
Keep an eye out, but don’t worry too much about it. Eventually she SHOULD get bored and go away. Don’t let her crazy-ass keep you from showing, enjoying TOMMY, or doing anything you normally do.
If she DOES start to threaten, show up at your farm, or harass you at shows, THEN it’s time to get law enforcement involved.
But for now, just ignore, ignore, ignore. 
ETA - After reading all the other replies, I do like the idea of sending her a very short message that says:
"Crazy lady,
As I have stated before, my horse Tommy is not for sale. I kindly ask that you do not contact me again on this, or any other matter, or I will be forced to take appropriate legal action.
Thank you,
Fleur"
But I would recommend NOT saying anything more than that.
[QUOTE=LisaB;3733167]
I’m totally with CloudandCallie and Ashby on this. The hubby is a cop and let me tell you, it’s hard getting a case going on stalkers. So do it sooner rather than later. We had a psycho lawyer stalk us after a rather, ummm, ‘domestic’ issue he had. Of course blamed the hubby for ruining his life, etc. Tried to sue …
Anyway, please please please, I beg you, call the cops, get your horse microchipped and lock and secure the entire premises. Including getting a front gate and padlock the sucker.
Do not, I repeat, do not, think this is funny or cute or think she’s not going to do anything to you or your family or your horses.
You didn’t get the hint the first time you posted about her. And I certainly hope that you get a clue this time around![/QUOTE]
LisaB’s husband has seen what I saw for many years. I tried and convicted a stalker who stalked one woman, wasn’t prosecuted, and then after a few years fixed his attention on another woman. Unfortunately he was a security guard, and got a job working at the atlanta airport where he stalked the woman. The guy only got arrested after he hit a guy who worked with the woman who had tried to help her. And of course as a security guard he got her home address and phone # and all from her private records at the airport. She and her son and her SO had to move to a trailer in the country to hide out. I tried him and the jury convicted and the judge gave him sone time, and when he got out, he didn’t go after that victim again but…
And I had a victim who was a young good looking real estate agent who got stalked at commercial buildings she was showing, and the cops did their job, but she had not gotten relief from male prosecutors, who didn’t see the danger. I put that defendant in jail on a plea and after a while in jail, he left her alone. (I always kept up with my victims and my defendants and my cops)
you need to understand what others have told you: keep records, anything she writes/emails, etc., keep a diary/record of her harassment, like at the pizza store, what she said and did, this diary is admissible in court civilly and criminally.
Don’t provoke her but initiating a conversation with her. If you know a cop, ask him or her to contact the woman, heck in Atlanta cops and I went by and had little chats with people who were harassing, not stalking people.
Stalkers are really weird and I’ve had 2 ex BFs stalk me, but then they were more afraid of me that I of them.
But I tell you, I’d be darn tempted to do what one smart poster said, and get a big horse that looks just like Tommy and put him out there, and sell him as “Winston”, that’s not a fraud if you don’t represent him as Tommy (Tommy could go on vacation to a friend’s barn for a while, and when he comes back hide out in a back field), except of course then when you and Tommy show up at a show, then the CCT, she’s gotta be the CCT, will be extra mad at you. Darn, it can take years to get rid of a stalker. And this is not the first person who has “coveted” another’s horse, just look at horseloverz’s problems she had.
Uh, LisaB, isn’t “psycholawyer” any oxymoron? Actually I think most lawyers are shall we say, not nice? But then 2% are. And some of those are def. lawyers.
just to let everyone know we are meeting with a lawyer and police today. i am at school now but will update later tongiht
:lol: CloudyandCallie. Yup, there’s quite a few lawyers that ain’t right in the head! But this one is a venomous sort, very toxic person. I don’t dare go into details if you get my drift but I certainly learned how to shoot all kinds of guns and rifles because of him!
Oh good for you fleur! Remember to not feed the animal and it will eventually go away. But keep copies of all correspondence, even verbal, in several spots. Backups are your friends! And also, check for crank calls. That’s how they know you’re home or not.
What Ashby and Quin said. :yes:
The only thing I would add is, instead of emailing her in reply, send it certified mail (assuming you can get her address). With certified mail, she can’t claim in court that she didn’t receive it, PLUS it enforces the message that you are serious.
When sending mail that you want proof of delivery on, always send it
Ceritifed AND “return receipt requested”
then you get a little card back that the person, or whomever at the residence gets the letter, signs, and the postperson dates the card.
Then you know when the certified letter was received and who signed for it.
Nice to have when someone says they didn’t get the letter.
And easier than hunting down the certified letter thru the post office.
Very happy to hear you and your parents are taking this very seriously…a lot of good advice has been given here. Jingles that this nutjob crawls back under her rock SOON.
P.S. Don’t know if there’s been an update, but I hope Flash’s eyes are better.
Hang in there!
Okay. This is starting to become what they call harrassment. I think the best way to handle it is to quit being polite and spell it out to her in black and white. No more Ms. Nice Guy.
- Tell her that you do not want to recieve any more emails from her about your horse.
- He is not for sale nor will he ever be for sale to HER.
- Tell her that you have already talked with a lawyer and the police and that she is NOT to have any more contact with you or your horse.
- Have the property owner give her a trespass notice. If she sets foot on the property where your horse is she can be arrested for trespassing.
And that’s it. No more being polite.
[QUOTE=KnickerB;3733412]
In addition to the other great advice you’ve gotten, any chance of chatting with the crazy chick’s clients that she’s trying to buy him for?
I’d just take a stab that they have no idea the situation, especially her offer that they will happily pay 20% over any other offer. Maybe once they understand how off the wall their trainer is, they themselves could say something to her along the lines of “We changed our minds, we don’t want a black horse with a bow for Christmas anymore, we want a PALOMINO!” or something else to try and switch her focus off you and your horse…?[/QUOTE]
I wouldn’t have any contact with these people IF there even are such people.
You don’t want to do anything to stir the pot and this would do it. The crazy might turn her attention from wanting your horse and spend her energy on “getting” you.
What a complete NUT CASE!!! I’m glad you’re meeting with a lawyer and police and your parents are taking action. As for you, I think any further contact with her should be through your parents - make sure it is clear to this WACKO that she is not to contact or talk to you at all.
Unbelievable!
