Older, plus-sized rider needs advice on showing.

[50andNewtoRidingandShowing]

OK, so I’m new here, I’m nearly 50 and I’m definitely plus sized. I’ve ridden a while now and am about to (possibly) do my first real show. Just on the flat and poles. Should I? I look kind of ridiculous at this weight (my highest ever, but working on it) And I’m 50. And it costs a fortune. :eek:

Am I wasting my money? Should I wait until I can do cross rails/an entire division? I’m seriously concerned that no matter how well I ride, it won’t matter - all the judges will see is that I’m considerably older than anyone else in my classes and considerably overweight. It’s a lot of money to spend to have a couple strikes against me before I get out of the gate.

Thanks for the input.

[asterix]

The obvious question is why do you want to show? What is your goal? What outcome would make you happy/constitute success in your eyes?
If you can articulate that maybe folks can help you figure out whether it’s realistic or not.

[KateKat]

Don’t let your weight stop you. However…money is a real consideration. Are you ok with spending a ton just to do flat and poles, or do you want to be able to a whole division before showing? Then again, just getting out there in a somewhat low pressure type class may be worth its weight in gold to you. It just depends!

Honestly for me its just about getting out there and having fun as I do not show for any kind of competitive reasons. However, I do always have to take in consideration my fun factor versus the cost. Like I went to Thermal for probably my first and last show there two years ago. I don’t regret doing it at all, but the cost definitely outweighed the fun factor.

[Everlong274]

if you let those things linger in your mind when you go into the show ring, you are only going to sabotage yourself. There are a lot of older, new to the ring adults who arent skinny that go out and rock it.

Show for fun! Isnt that what we do?

[50andNewtoRidingandShowing]

Good questions. The truth - I want to win a blue ribbon and kick butt and prove that I can really ride. I did a small lesson show at my barn a few years back where it didn’t cost much at all (no hauling, no stall fees, etc.) and got a 2nd and 3rd place and was SO close to blue. Then I had a bad fall shortly afterwards and it took me a while to get my confidence back, relearn some things and ride without pain. Now I’m kind of staring over with a new trainer.

This upcoming show is considerably bigger/more expensive, but I feel like I have something to prove to myself and to the doubters that like to judge a book by its cover. Doing well is a way to show I belong in the saddle as much as anyone. Clearly I have a chip on my shoulder, don’t I? :eek: Although it may not appear so by this post, I absolutely love horses and riding and it brings me so much joy and such a sense of accomplishment. I’m not normally crazy-competitive, but something about this is making me kind of nuts.

[KateKat]

Well hey, if going to the show will give you a sense of accomplishment and a confidence boost-go.

Just remember to set your expectations at a realistic level. You may kick butt, or it may be disastrous, or it may just fall somewhere in between. Don’t lose the focus that showing is really all about demonstrating the partnership with your equine counterpart!

Also I think I can take a guess as to why the whole riding thing makes you nuts…As an adult riding is probably one of the hardest things to even get remotely good at. I started riding as an adult too, and I see tiny little kids riding circles around me all the time. Like I said earlier I do not show to be competitive, but one of my proudest show moments is getting first in a huge class and beating some of the crazy little rugrats who normally come in first (and actually winning some money too!).

Good luck and have fun!

[kenyarider]

Showing is expensive and you need to do it for yourself. For what it’s worth, most of your competitors aren’t paying the slightest attention to you. I have done AA for years and I can tell you that everyone is focused on getting themselves and their horse ready and around the course. The judges want to see the riders survive the course. I have never talked to a judge who wished ill for a rider and they are happy to see everyone get around. Recently I watched an opportunity cross pole class with kids. It was carnage. Pony number one came in and whinnied his way around until his rider fell off. Pony came back to rider as if to ask “why did you fall off?” Rider number 2 came in and got frightened and started screaming, pony made two laps around ring with screaming kid, kid finally fell off and pony left the ring. Rider number three (my barn) was doing great until she fell off at the end. We told her that it is not okay to fall off in sympathy of the other riders. Rider number 4 finally made it around. So go out there, try and not fall off and have fun. You are spending a European vacation in money so it had better be about you.

[BAC]

If this is something that is important to you then go ahead and do it. Don’t worry about anyone else, they are only concerned about themselves and won’t even notice you, your age or your weight. Have fun!!!

[WPeg]

Just curious - did you start riding as an adult? If you did, I commend you. It really is hard. I started as a kid, took a 23 year break from horses, and started again a few years ago at 45. Wow. It was a shock how much harder it was. You do not have to prove anything to anyone. You already rock.

Also wondering about the expense of the show. Is it a recognized show, or very far away? Depending on where you are, there should be schooling show opportunities that aren’t very expensive. Showing can be so much fun - not just for the winning, but as a goal to work towards, and a spectacle to enjoy - watching the other riders, admiring the range and variety of horses and ponies, and for me, watching the little kids (I have a soft spot for even brattiest child riders).

Good luck and have fun! Bring cookies and wine and take some selfies!

[LesleyW]

Exactly what WPeg said. I too, restarted in my late 40s. Was never what you’d call a good rider, but I was a pretty brave foxhunter and did lots of cross country. When I came back, I was pretty dismayed to find how much I’d lost in terms of form and balance. But moving my horse to a closer barn gave me the kick in the pants I needed to ride more and it started to come back.
The nice thing about being older is that I really don’t care what other people think. I was so self-conscious when I was young – now I do it for me and my horse. It’s so much easier to tune everybody out and just talk to my mare, and actually have some fun. We did our first barn show last weekend, came third in dressage, and went clear stadium and x-country and went home with the all around best ribbon. It was just an entry level division, and I was probably the oldest rider there. I look at it the way I look at my yoga class - tuning everyone else out and just concentrating on what I’m doing instead of worrying that I might not measure up.
Enjoy your horse and give yourself a big pat on the back for getting out there!

[snaffle635]

[QUOTE=50andNewtoRidingandShowing;8273070]
Good questions. The truth - I want to win a blue ribbon and kick butt and prove that I can really ride. I did a small lesson show at my barn a few years back where it didn’t cost much at all (no hauling, no stall fees, etc.) and got a 2nd and 3rd place and was SO close to blue. Then I had a bad fall shortly afterwards and it took me a while to get my confidence back, relearn some things and ride without pain. Now I’m kind of staring over with a new trainer.

This upcoming show is considerably bigger/more expensive, but I feel like I have something to prove to myself and to the doubters that like to judge a book by its cover. Doing well is a way to show I belong in the saddle as much as anyone. Clearly I have a chip on my shoulder, don’t I? :eek: Although it may not appear so by this post, I absolutely love horses and riding and it brings me so much joy and such a sense of accomplishment. I’m not normally crazy-competitive, but something about this is making me kind of nuts.[/QUOTE]

It’s great to want to win, but with your level of experience, try to focus more on your own performance. Rather than focusing on the ribbons, try to set goals that are consistent with your riding goals. Maybe it’s something like “maintain an even pace” or “make smooth transitions” or “focus on my leg position”.

How well you do at a horse show always depends on who else shows up. You could ride your absolute best, but if someone better than you also shows, you’re not going to win. You could also have an off day and everyone else has a worse day than you, and you win with a less than optimal performance. Blue, red, and yellow are always relative to everyone else.

My point is that the ribbons themselves are not always a reflection of your performance.

Go to the show. Enjoy yourself and your horse and have a great time!

[Soaponarope]

Girl, plus size does not equal done with life! You will probably burn a heck of a lot of calories at the show as well. Set your personal goal and go get it. Have a great time! You should be proud of your riding!

[50andNewtoRidingandShowing]

Hi WPeg, yes, other than a few lessons as a little kid, I began taking weekly lessons three years ago and was starting from the beginning. Got to the point where I was doing some cross rails, had two bad spills - one that has left me with chronic pain I’m still dealing with - and then work got in the way and I took a few months break. Now I’ve been riding weekly for the past few months with a new trainer and doing well.
The show is a local schooling show but it’s a big one and horse transport, fees, classes, daily horse lease, stalls - it all adds up. They’re legit expenses and reasonable for what they are, i.e. trainer is not gouging me by any means; she’s great. But we’re looking at ~ $700 for two days before it’s all over with.

[50andNewtoRidingandShowing]

Thank you.

[50andNewtoRidingandShowing]

Thank you for a dose of perspective, everyone; I needed to hear this. I am hard on myself and goal oriented, which sometimes causes me to forget to enjoy the moment. I’m riding the best I ever have; I need to go with that sentiment and let the chips, and ribbons, fall where they may. The show is just a measure in time and not the defining moment of my riding. (I was kind of looking at it as the only show I’m going to do in the foreseeable future because I’m not going to keep spending all that money on showing, so it had better be good.) I’ll work on not thinking of it that way.

[Khadiiyo]

Just a personal observation, but $700 seems incredibly high for a local schooling show.

[50andNewtoRidingandShowing]

I know, right? It’s Friday schooling/practice, then showing Saturday and Sunday - I’m figuring riding in 5 classes. Does that make it seem more reasonable? I don’t know - my only experience prior to this has been at barn shows, which are considerably less expensive.

Basically, show fees (stall, bedding, office fees) plus five classes (estimate)($20/class)is $300.
Horse lease, trainer for three days, Friday lesson, hauling to/from show is $400.

I really don’t think the trainer is overpricing anything. I think the class fees are too high, (they were $15 last year from what I’ve heard), but that’s the deal this year. I had in my head that this show would cost me around $500, so when I got an estimate from the trainer, I was over budget by $200. Somehow, $500 seemed ok, but $700 feels really high. Especially for my level of riding, but I guess that’s the deal this time around.

[luvdogz72]

I used to see a quite-overweight, very top-heavy(and I don’t mean boobs), short-legged rider at the B shows. Yes, I laughed at her but I also really admired her for just getting out there and not caring what others thought. Good for her!

[WB_Mom]

I have walked in your shoes. Rode when young, took many, many years off and began again as my son was graduating from HS. At this point in your riding, you need to weigh your options in spending that much hard earned money.
You basically need to be willing to be O.K. with spending the money regardless of what happens. Look at it as money spent learning, not necessarily showing.

[AKB]

Try eventing. An unrecognized event is about $100. No one cares what you look like, as long as you look safe. You don’t need to spend money on a jacket for dressage. You do need an approved helmet and a vest for XC. Read the rules, go and observe at an unrecognized event. Then, go and have fun.