Older, plus-sized rider needs advice on showing.

[anon38350891]

IF your goal is to “kick butt” and prove something, consider how you will feel if you actually don’t do well. Will you feel you burned up $700 for nothing?

I used to show dressage, and I got miserable scores most of the time, but I was always on cloud 9 at a show because it was, to my inexperienced self, a dress-up party for horses. I loved taking my horse somewhere, showing him off because he was pretty, getting all dolled up myself and trying not to make a total ass of myself in the ring. I told myself if we enter and exit together it is a win.

If I’d wanted to kick butt and take names, I would have been desperately disappointed.

Why do you feel the need for any external validation? Aren’t you in this for fun? Do what brings you joy and forget the rest.

[lmlacross]

I agree that $700 is too much for a local schooling show. I just wouldn’t do it. That’s me and my budget, though, and it has nothing to do with the potential disappointment I’d feel at not performing as well as I’d like (a really possibility). To me, that number is just to high for what you’re getting.

The barn where my husband has recently begun riding (and where I did a clinic last weekend) is a state of the art facility. They host a schooling show annually that is top-fligh-- big ribbons, and a cooler for the derby class. It’s a one-day show, well run by A-show people with good judging–and you’d be out of there for a third the price. Are there single-day options near you?

[Janet]

Two trains of thought.

First, my own experience, second , thoughts on what you have said.

I am over 60, and wear “XL” britches.

A couple of months ago I went to an “A” show (Warrenton Pony) and competed in a division (Connemara Halfbreds)where the other 7 competiors were young enogh to be my children or, in most cases, grandchildren, and all MUCH thinner than me.

I was really pleased with how Belle went, but she is NOT a hunter by any means (eventer and jumper), and we got a 5th and 2 6ths.

It never occured to me that our low placing was due to my age and weight. It was becuase she has more knee action, and more energy, than the ideal hunter. I primarily went to support the Connemara breed, and the show, not to win a blue ribon, though I woukd of course be thrilled if I did.

Also, one day division, no stabling, no trainer fees, total well under $300.

Your case-
Forget about the age and the weight.

But if winning a bkue ribbon is important to you, I would wait until you can do “the whole division”. In fact, I’d wai until you are almpost ready to do the next level.

After all, in classes you DO enter, you will be competing against riders who ARE doing “the whole division”.

Bottom line- if you are (internally) going to blame “NOT winning” on your age and weight, I would not recommend showing at all.

I have had classes where I sucked and got a blue ribbon.
But I have had many more classes where I thought I did great, and didn’t get a ribbon at all.

It is not about “me”, my weight, or my age. It is much more about how well the OTHERS do.

[SmartAlex]

Go and have fun. Few of us look the way we want to on a horse, and most of us want to ride better than we actually do. So you will be in good company.

When I was a teenager (back when I was lithe and lean and I could do no wrong) I showed a large saddle club circuit. I rode hunt seat on a big 1400# appaloosa. There was also a rider in his forties who was severly overweight. He was as round as he was tall. BUT, he had this big 18hh big boned appaloosa that perfectly suited him. That horse was so cool. He was athletic and balanced, and built like a tank. (And I thought I had a big appy!) I often wondered how he got up on that horse, but even in my ignorant arrogant teenage state I always admired that guy for finding a horse that could do it, and getting out there and trying.

You are out there riding, you are paying the money, you deserve to go out and show and to heck with what anyone else thinks.

[AmmyHunter]

[QUOTE=50andNewtoRidingandShowing;8273019]
OK, so I’m new here, I’m nearly 50 and I’m definitely plus sized. I’ve ridden a while now and am about to (possibly) do my first real show. Just on the flat and poles. Should I? I look kind of ridiculous at this weight (my highest ever, but working on it) And I’m 50. And it costs a fortune. :eek:

Am I wasting my money? Should I wait until I can do cross rails/an entire division? I’m seriously concerned that no matter how well I ride, it won’t matter - all the judges will see is that I’m considerably older than anyone else in my classes and considerably overweight. It’s a lot of money to spend to have a couple strikes against me before I get out of the gate.

Thanks for the input.[/QUOTE]

Sometimes you will get a blue ribbon when you don’t deserve it, sometimes you will get no ribbon when you deserved to win. You will enjoy showing SO much more if you are focused on just putting everything together when you go in the ring and having a round you are pleased with. You can’t control the ribbons but you can control how you perform, so I always try to focus on that. The reward of placing is fun, and will come, but it will frustrate you if that is your focus AND in some of the lower level classes, the judge may spread the ribbons around to reward everyone, so you might find it not as satisfying or significant as you think it might be. But that feeling of finishing up a great round, at any level, is why I show!

You can’t worry about your size – look around a show, I promise not everyone is a stick figure, and there are some very good riders who are not skinny. If I waited til I was skinny, I would never get to show, so I just put that aside and worry about my riding, that is more than enough for my brain :lol:

$700 is a lot for a local show - I would wait until you could do the whole division and get more bang for your buck.

[BeeHoney]

When considering whether or not to spend $700 on a local show I think there are a few things to consider. That amount of money might be worthwhile if going to the show motivates you to bring your riding up a level and also provides a learning experience that propels you forward in your riding. Having to ride into a ring and perform often does push people to do better in their riding and identifies things that need to be worked on. Watching other better/more advanced riders showing is also a great learning experience and can be an inspiration. Showing also might be a big motivator in regards to improving fitness (helpful for performing optimally in a tiring situation) and weight (slimming down to achieve a better look in show clothes). There is also nothing wrong with wanting to get out there and be a part of the action.

In general, I do have some doubts about spending $700 on a local show to show in the poles/x-rails divisions. In most cases I would say that is not a good value. Mind you, I’m not saying your instructor is overcharging, just that in general I would suggest waiting until you are further along to spend that much on a show. OTOH, life is short and you have to start somewhere. If you want to do it, don’t think too much about the ribbons. Do it to put yourself out there, to have fun, and to continue on your journey with horses.

[Pennywell_Bay]

Personally, I’d find a great schooling show and cut my expenses by 1/7 and have a blast and rock and roll.

Save your money, just MO.

[Dressagelvr]

If you are really goal oriented, lose the weight. Your balance issues will improve and your horse will thank you.

Dangle showing as a motivation for yourself.

Once you’re fit, you just might get the blue you crave.

[Lilykoi]

$700 buys a lot of lessons. Personally, I don’t enjoy showing. I’m competitive with me not with anyone else. I think your money might be better spent on lessons and going to a show when you are really ready to be competitive with those you will show against. That would probably be more fun.

[molly8it]

$700 is a lot to throw down for a schooling show, especially if you will be disappointed, frustrated, and maybe a little pissed off, if you don’t win. Do the show because you want to test your own performance or progress, or because you have fun with your barn mates. In the hunters, it comes down to a judge’s opinion, which can go your way, or not, for a myriad of reasons. You can’t hang your self-esteem on that one opinion.

I am 52, not a skinny-mini, and regularly end up showing against the youngsters. That can be truly humbling, so prepare yourself. I am also very lucky that those youngsters are, for the most part, very sportsmanlike and a blast to be around.

[Backstage]

[QUOTE=Dressagelvr;8275832]
If you are really goal oriented, lose the weight. Your balance issues will improve and your horse will thank you.

Dangle showing as a motivation for yourself.

Once you’re fit, you just might get the blue you crave.[/QUOTE]

I don’t think its fair to suggest that the two are mutually exclusive. The OP can work on getting fitter, and also show and even win some ribbons. I’ve show a few times this year, and won several hunter classes despite being plus sized.

I think the issue here is that the OP is putting a huge emphasis on winning. When you are just learning to show, you should be focusing on learning the ‘how-tos’ of showing and just completing the show to the best of your ability, imo. Ribbons are a bonus at that point, in my view. This sounds like an expensive way to learn some of those early showing lessons (navigating the warm up ring, remembering your course, getting ready for the ring on time/schedule, showing off your horse to the judge, etc), and it sounds like the OP will be disappointed with anything less than a resounding success and blue ribbons. That is setting yourself up to be frustrated and upset at the money spent.

[Groom_amp_Taxi]

I don’t think the fees as detailed are unreasonable for the situation you are describing. The show fees by themselves for a three day show with stabling are in-line with what I have seen for a similar set-up for an un-rated show that is intended to give more of a rated show experience (nice facility, decorated jumps, licensed officials). The trainer and horse lease fees add up to a good chunk, but again are probably not out of line especially for a quality, established program and including trailering and the use of the horse.

For what it’s worth, I am in a somewhat similar situation (50+, ten pounds too heavy, breeches are not flattering to my figure) - an adult re-rider who had a fair number of saddle hours but no real riding education in my teens. I too had my confidence demolished last year. I am back to riding and contemplating going to one or two local shows in the next couple of months and doing about the same classes you are considering. The shows with overnight stabling, a handful of classes, and a coaching fee will only cost me about $100. The difference is that I own the horse as well as a truck and trailer so I am paying in other ways that add up to a lot more in the long term. But it would be a bucket list item for me to show, and I’d like to be able to check that item off the list.

Only you can decide if that $700 is worth it to you for what you are trying to achieve. If you can afford it and want to have the away show experience and for whatever reason feel that the opportunity won’t come again with any certainty any time soon, then go for it. Edited to add: if nothing else, consider going to the show your “reward” for getting back to this point in your riding journey.

[BBowen]

I understand where you are with your riding. I am 60+. Started riding as a kid; had a major hiatus when I went to college; started riding again at 41. It is a totally different ballgame as an older adult. I won’t give you all the details, but have been through my share of ups and downs. Did lower level eventing, then bred my mare and waited on baby to grow up. She was a yearling when mom passed away. Started my young mare (I bred this horse) in long stirrup classes. Many times, it would be combined with short stirrup and the kids would ride circles around me. No shame in getting your feet wet at level in which you are comfortable.

My young mare progressed at a faster pace than me and I had a few bad falls, lost confidence. Trainer put me on a “been there, done that” horse and it has taken a while, but my head is back in the game. I am having a blast in the jumper ring.

From someone who has been in your shoes, and I am not a skinny-Minnie either, I would find something less costly. When we go into the show ring, we all want to win, but the best goal to have is to do your best and have fun. Sometimes the ribbons will come, sometimes they won’t. These days, my goals have been to get more comfortable with more speed (jumpers) and to remember my course. Plus, when you school at home, school bigger fences than you will be jumping at a show. If you show cross rails; school 18 inches or two feet at home. If you show two feet, school 2’3 at home. Nerves kick in at shows, so you want to be comfortable with the height.

Good luck and have fun with your horse!!!

[cnvh]

[QUOTE=luvdogz72;8274141]
I used to see a quite-overweight, very top-heavy(and I don’t mean boobs), short-legged rider at the B shows. Yes, I laughed at her but I also really admired her for just getting out there and not caring what others thought. Good for her![/QUOTE]

Goodness. Imagine if you’d have just, oh I dunno, admired her for just getting out there and cheered her on??? Maybe laughing at her is more socially acceptable for you when your friends are looking.

[ParadoxFarm]

This is actually a two-day show, right? Not a three-day. Friday is just schooling? I really think it’s a very high price for the show you describe. And I don’t think it’s all the show. It’s the lease fee, which you cannot avoid, and the trainer’s fees, etc. Seems higher than what I would be willing to pay. You could probably take part of that 700 and get some more lessons, or even lease a horse that you can take to shows later. The longer you wait and take more lessons, the more likely it is you will fare better at the shows! I think 700 for your classes is too much. As an alternative, is there someone else you can split a lease on? Or is there a rider there who would be willing to let you ride their horse for a few classes?

Good luck with your decision. There will always be more shows if you decide to wait!

[Go_Fish]

[QUOTE=BeeHoney;8275773]
When considering whether or not to spend $700 on a local show I think there are a few things to consider. That amount of money might be worthwhile if going to the show motivates you to bring your riding up a level and also provides a learning experience that propels you forward in your riding. Having to ride into a ring and perform often does push people to do better in their riding and identifies things that need to be worked on. [/QUOTE]

This. Odds are you aren’t going to go knock 'em dead at your first away-from-home show no matter how skinny you are. The only way to get better at showing is showing, and lots of it.

Sometimes just surviving the weekend in one piece is an accomplishment, particularly when you’re a bit older and new to the sport. Set goals for yourself that don’t include winning and take along a portable bar.

BTW, I don’t think $700 for 3 days is all that expensive, and a lot depends on where you live. That’s about $235 a day, which is pretty normal if you’re showing with a trainer.

[akhunterrider]

I would not personally want to pay several hundred dollars for a local level show just to do flat classes and poles on the ground. However, I also would not want to pay $100 for that. I have shown previously, but I don’t show H/J any longer. My current horse is green and has never been to a show, so even though there was a show about 20 minutes away from where I keep him over the weekend, I didn’t feel like it was worth my time or money to pay $40 just for two flat classes. We have a very low level local show that it would have cost me $25 to ride in 5 classes and to me that’s a better use of my money for my horse’s very first show where I don’t know how he’ll behave.

As far as being what you consider overweight for yourself, I would not want to purchase equipment unless I could find it reasonably priced used. If I lost weight and had to buy new equipment shortly after, I wouldn’t be extremely pleased. Yes, you can resell equipment, but odd sizes and low to mid priced brands can be tougher to sell, as well as get your money back out of.

[50andNewtoRidingandShowing]

[QUOTE=Dressagelvr;8275832]
If you are really goal oriented, lose the weight. Your balance issues will improve and your horse will thank you.

Dangle showing as a motivation for yourself.

Once you’re fit, you just might get the blue you crave.[/QUOTE]

I’m working on the weight - it’s a lifelong issue. But as a point of clarification - I am a very balanced rider and a soft rider. Could I be more fit - absolutely - an I’m getting better with that each week. But to postpone things strictly because one is overweight isn’t really living - it’s holding one’s breath.

[50andNewtoRidingandShowing]

[QUOTE=Backstage;8275915]
I don’t think its fair to suggest that the two are mutually exclusive. The OP can work on getting fitter, and also show and even win some ribbons. I’ve show a few times this year, and won several hunter classes despite being plus sized.

I think the issue here is that the OP is putting a huge emphasis on winning. When you are just learning to show, you should be focusing on learning the ‘how-tos’ of showing and just completing the show to the best of your ability, imo. Ribbons are a bonus at that point, in my view. This sounds like an expensive way to learn some of those early showing lessons (navigating the warm up ring, remembering your course, getting ready for the ring on time/schedule, showing off your horse to the judge, etc), and it sounds like the OP will be disappointed with anything less than a resounding success and blue ribbons. That is setting yourself up to be frustrated and upset at the money spent.[/QUOTE]

You’re right - I need to see this as a learning experience, not a “winning” experience. I’m not sure showing is anything I want to do on a regular basis, but to do a relatively big show once or twice would be fun. I love my barn mates and the horse I’m riding and my trainer, so I’ll focus on getting the chip off my shoulder and just enjoying the experience with the goal of staying on the horse

[50andNewtoRidingandShowing]

[QUOTE=BBowen;8275946]
I understand where you are with your riding. I am 60+. Started riding as a kid; had a major hiatus when I went to college; started riding again at 41. It is a totally different ballgame as an older adult. I won’t give you all the details, but have been through my share of ups and downs. Did lower level eventing, then bred my mare and waited on baby to grow up. She was a yearling when mom passed away. Started my young mare (I bred this horse) in long stirrup classes. Many times, it would be combined with short stirrup and the kids would ride circles around me. No shame in getting your feet wet at level in which you are comfortable.

My young mare progressed at a faster pace than me and I had a few bad falls, lost confidence. Trainer put me on a “been there, done that” horse and it has taken a while, but my head is back in the game. I am having a blast in the jumper ring.

From someone who has been in your shoes, and I am not a skinny-Minnie either, I would find something less costly. When we go into the show ring, we all want to win, but the best goal to have is to do your best and have fun. Sometimes the ribbons will come, sometimes they won’t. These days, my goals have been to get more comfortable with more speed (jumpers) and to remember my course. Plus, when you school at home, school bigger fences than you will be jumping at a show. If you show cross rails; school 18 inches or two feet at home. If you show two feet, school 2’3 at home. Nerves kick in at shows, so you want to be comfortable with the height.

Good luck and have fun with your horse!!![/QUOTE]

Thank you! I appreciate hearing from similar people riding in adulthood. At the rate I’m going, I’ll have to school trotting over poles at home and walking over poles at the show. (Crappy lesson last week…lol).