Out of the mouths of non horsey people - new thread

Rather than bringing up the old thread, I figured I would start a new one.

From my BF after showing him a video of a horse doing piaffe - “He looks like he is stomping grapes!” :sparkling_heart:


My DH came out to the stables the day a new gray horse arrived. I say gray, but he is almost snow white. Knowing just a tad about European breeds, he asked if it was a “Lippensteiner “:heart_eyes:


Not from the Non-horsey, but overheard from a young teen watching a Dressage clinic:
“I know that breed, he’s a Holstein” :cow2:

A friend was always asking me if horses grew that large “just eating grass”.

Lastly, English rider & relative-newb to horses DH watching a 4H WP show at the barn we’d just moved to:
“Are they all lame?”


Years ago, a neighbor looking at our 31-y-o TB gelding and his two (very hairy) mini gelding pasture buddies: “Oh, look, she had twins!”



Is that a cross between a Lippizan and Frankenstein? :grin:


I think he gets partial credit.

My favorite “you get partial credit” was a very nice guy my horse and I met on a walk one day, who asked “is he a Thoroughbred” and “does he race, or do you do equestrian?” He was very appreciative of how handsome my part-Thoroughbred non-racer was, so all’s well. :slight_smile:


A close non-horsey friend of mine complimented the fancy Lemiuex fly bonnet my gelding was wearing. She didn’t know what it was called, so she said “Oh, I love Holden’s ear cardigan!”

That was nearly 7 years ago, and it has become barn vernacular to refer to any bonnet as an ear cardigan. :laughing:


A friend who saw horses out in a pasture thought they were swishing their tails all the time as a sign that they were happy. She was disappointed when I told her it was probably because they were getting bitten by flies.

My mom once commented, in that special mom voice, that all the other horses’ tails at the show looked much nicer than mine. She was shocked when I told her theirs were fake :joy:


Another gem, but from what should have been a very horsey person:
Mexican barn in my 'hood, breeds Friesian & Azteca stallions, always mares & foals turned out…
Guy comes riding down my road & sees my Ginormous WB (17’3+) & Hackney Pony in my pasture.
Both geldings.
He says: “Nice mare, how old is the filly?” :roll_eyes::interrobang::question::interrobang:


I have two:

  1. A co-worker asked me if it was true that when horses lie down they die because they are too top heavy to get up. She said her husband told her this. When I told her that no, horses lie down and get up all the time, she said she would ask her husband if that was true. (He was obviously not a horse person)

  2. I show reined cowhorse. I had a picture on FB of my cowhorse feed. A different co-worker stopped me in the hallway and asked if “That was the horse” He severely coliced and almost died, so I thought that is what she was referencing. I confirmed that was him and was shocked when she said, I did not know you could mate a horse and a cow! Science is amazing!! I would like to add, I am a teacher and so is she :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


I lost track of how many actual horse people would see our large pony gelding in the distance, and ask when the foal was due. Then he would drop to pee.

I also had experienced horse people who were convinced that same pony was dead in the pasture. No, he just liked his naps. I guess they didn’t notice his ribs moving with respiration, and the occasional ear twitch.



well there also out the mouths of horsey people that crack up others

had young horse crazy daughter at movie theater to see one of the Black Stallion movies when a rear view of the horse who was playing the Black Stallion revealed as with a swish of its tail to be a mare… now daughter who was young (3 or so?) in her not so quiet excited voice DADDY THE BLACK STALLION IS A MARE… the whole theater broke out in laughter


I have ponies and constantly explain that they’re not babies and they’re done growing. The analogy I landed on is toy dogs which seems to work?

And I mentioned to my boyfriend yesterday that my new pony had a hard day because she’s in heat and he said “Aw, it is really hot out right now!”


When I took my 16.3 white gelding out for a trail ride with his 15.2 white Arab Girlfriend - “look! It’s a mommy and a baby!” Without fail. Every time.

Or my mother who thinks she knows every little thing about every little thing and esp about horses. Despite having no contact ever with one, just from reading books when she was a small child. :roll_eyes: And refusing to listen to or look at anything I might offer her that might be from this century. All she knows is the phrase “heavy hunters” and the word “spavin.” So Ms-Know-it-All announced to one of my friends that her horse was “not too badly spavined.” My friend and I looked at her and went “What?” She sneered at both of us and said that we could hardly call ourselves REAL horse people or even trainers if we did not know what that was. And then scurried off. Typical. And still refuses to learn anything or acknowledge that I might actually know something more than her.


When I was in college, I went to the library to pick up a book after a lesson, wearing my SUPER dirty and cheap and old/ratty half chaps. The person behind me in line asked me where I got my boots. I said well a riding store, they’re riding boots. Her response? “No wonder they look so authentic!” :laughing:


My daughter refers to my new arena (which to be fair is compacted stone dust right now, awaiting the footing) as the horse parking lot. In terms of how you build it, she’s not wrong.


Some of my favorite non-horsey vocabulary terms:

Blindfold = flymask
Coat = Blanket or sheet
Leg Warmers = wraps or bandages



A friend’s mom asked why the horse was wearing ear mittens. Bonnets are ear mittens now in my book


My mom used to drive a school bus, and all the drivers were able to talk to each other and base via their radio system. One day, she heard one of the drivers call base and say “You need to call the police on the people at X address. They are abusing their horses.”

Mom knew a little about horses from me, and she asked what exactly was happening.

“They have them outside and they’re BLINDFOLDED.”

Mom: “Are the blindfolds gray, with fuzzy edges?”


So she tried to explain the concept of a fly mask to this other driver, who never got it. The other driver did call the police on the owners, who explained to the police what fly masks were, and it was all good. IIRC, this was the same driver who once dragged a VW Beetle with her school bus about half a mile and never noticed . . . not the brightest bulb on the tree, for sure.


Oh, I love this.

A former barnmate used one on her 5-year-old who suffered from the usual baby inability to focus on one thing for more than 10 seconds at a time. She called it his “thinking cap.”