Over-horsed and Nervous

[MareLove]

Recently I got my dream horse, but since she was almost three provinces away (Canada), I couldn’t test ride her. She’s a friesian sport horse who is trained up to Third Level (I’m only just getting into First Level myself).

She’s a HUGE mover, and for someone who has only ridden AQH, Arab crosses, and an Oldenburg…she’s a powerhouse of a horse and can be intimidating.

I really want to ride her and show her, I think she could teach me a lot but I’ve been thrown a few good times and now when I feel a horse carry itself and get under itself…I tighten up and start getting scared because my mind associates that feeling with bucking.

At the moment, I admit that I’m over-horsed due to my past (some recent) experiences of being thrown. I just want to know if anyone has any suggestions of how to “let go” and relax so I can at least enjoy a nice (HUGE) walk around on her and build up from there.

Also, she’s a sweetheart who loves to please and she follows me around like a lost puppy over anything from a small jump to the plastic tarp and around cones. Lol.

Please no rude comments

[Essie]

Hi there! I was in a similar situation. I was lunged until I was comfortable on my horse. When the independent rides started, I was successful!

[MareLove]

@Essie

Hi there! I was in a similar situation. I was lunged until I was comfortable on my horse. When the independent rides started, I was successful!

Thanks for the suggestion!

[PDDT]

I think Essie’s suggestion is a really good one.

Are you working with a trainer?

If you are just getting into First level work and this horse is confirmed Third - she is likely much more sensitive to the aids then you have been used to, along with using herself more. When my horse had an injury I took lessons on my coach’s horse - I had never ridden a horse that was trained so well and it really didn’t have a clue about my aids. It was a very humbling experience, but I am a much better rider for it.

If I am reading your post correctly - the falls were not off your mare?

So - if you can both have the access and finances to do this - could you take some lessons from another horse that is less powerful so you can get your confidence back? Your mare can have some time off - it won’t hurt her. Or if you are able, have your coach ride her until you are ready. Then you can slowly work on getting a good partnership with your new mare. This is Canada after all, you have a long winter between now and next show season!

Take you time, rebuild your confidence and then build your partnership with your mare.

[coloredhorse]

OP, I sympathize. I am lucky enough to lease a sweetheart of a PSG schoolmistress. She is much more powerful and sensitive than I am used to, as well as being a bit spooky and having some baggage from her early career. Like you, I also carry the burden of some riding “history” plus generalized anxiety that likes to flare up at inopportune times. Baby steps. If longeing makes you feel comfortable, that’s a great start. For me, a big thing was also just doing First/Second Level stuff and not expecting to get to work in the Third-PSG stuff until I am more comfortable.

Also expect that your comfort level may wax and wane based on how the horse is feeling, how you are feeling, what else is going on in your life, the environment, phase of the moon, whatever. Heck, yesterday, Maresy and I were so frazzled (I know my story, but no idea what in her lux life set her off, LOL!) that all I did was working walk to free walk and working trot to stretchy trot. And I managed to accept that was OK for the day’s accomplishments! So you need to be a little kind to yourself.

[Scribbler]

I would say lessons lessons lessons and on the longe is a good idea.

You need to develop the core strength and balance to ride a big gait and you need to get over your panic reaction every time the horse starts to lift and carry itself.

I’d also suggest if you can some trail riding just at a powerhouse walk to start feeling safer on her.

That said if after six months you still feel she is too much horse for you, don’t be ashamed of selling her on to a good home.

I see a number of ammies in your predicament who end up basically quitting riding because they have too much horse, get scared or hurt or just embarrassed. Usually they wait too long to try to sell the horse after it has developed behavior problems or lost training or lost condition. Better to make a more timely decision, better for you and the horse long term.

[Wicky]

Jo Cooper works over the phone. Worked for me! And the technique is very useful for other things, so once you learn it you get more benefits.

http://www.equestrianconfidence.com/tft.html

http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?482088-Jo-Cooper-NLP-TFT/page2

[BigMama1]

Take your time. Get to know your new horse and take all the time it needs to learn to ride her. If that means only working at the walk for a bit, or only at walk and trot, do that. Lunge lessons are a fabulous idea if she is safe and steady enough, and they will help you so much to build the strength and balance you neesd to ride the movement.

The mental aspect is tougher because you are associating that back up, impulsion feeling with a horse that is about to launch you. I totally get it because I feel the same way! You need to disassociate one from the other so maybe talking to a sports psychologist might help? Otherwise, just time and trust is what it will take for you to start creating positive associations with that feeling and learning that on this horse it doesn’t signal impending doom.

Hopefully you are working with a good trainer who can also put some rides on your mare regularly to keep her fit and happy in her work.

My biggest suggestion is not to worry that with you the horse isn’t “living up to her potential” or working at the level to which she is trained. Believe me, the horse doesn’t care if she’s doing flying changes or 20m trot circles. It takes at least a year for a new partnership to really start clicking and there’s no timeline to say what level you should be riding when.

So relax, take deep breaths, focus on doing things you enjoy and feel safe doing with your new horse, and as the trust grows, gradually push your comfort level.

[CanteringCarrot]

Things that may help:

Lessons on the lunge line.

Watching others ride your horse so you can see that she actually goes along just fine. Big mover, but not dirty, spooky, dangerous, etc.

Core exercises off of the horse.

BREATHING. Focus on a rhythmic breathing. It sounds so dumb and simple, but it is important!

Ride with a "grab strap/oh sh*t handle. Either one around her neck, or attached to the pommel of the saddle. You can use it and wean yourself off of it a bit as you get more comfortable. Or just having it there will make you feel better.

Don’t pressure yourself too much. Set realistic goals.

Ultimately, you also need a good trainer that will instill confidence. Most of my confidence building has been in lessons.

I also think once you own the horse for a bit, a little bit of those nerves will wear off. I was a bit tense at first on my newest mount because I didn’t know him. So I probably rode a little defensively at first because I somewhat had to on my WB at times. Each horse is different. We carry our baggage from horse to horse but they don’t know we have it. Not all horses pull the same stunts that others do, so you have to give her a chance to be good, and to perform well.

​​​​​​Also, remember that we can shape the horses behavior. I have a sensitive and smart horse that if you ride tense, nervous, and defensive he will become basically unrideable in no time. Ride him forward, soft, and confident (even fake confidence at times) and he’s easy and wonderful to ride. So having a trainer step in will keep your horses confidence up and build yours too.

[luvmyhackney]

Since your gorgeous horse is at a higher level than you and probably so much more sensitive and attentive to weight shits and body movements. You need to start a good fitness program and work on understanding and feeling minute shifts of weight and extreme body control.

I got the pleasure of riding an upper-level dressage horse having never ridden dressage and we spend most of our time on straightaways and trail riding relaxing until we got to know each other. I had to learn to pay close attention to what I was doing with my body, because tensing my abs was the difference between a huge extended trot or a passage and he wouldn’t go anywhere. I’m a big singer (I can’t carry a tune) cause it relaxes me and gives the horse a beat to follow. Many times the upper-level horses will slow down or step up based on the beat cause it changes your breathing pattern.

Get thee a neck strap and just work on going straight short distances, when your bored add turns, then add circles and shapes. Keep it simple and build up your confidence.

Just remember that you can’t break her buttons and that this is supposed to be FUN, so do what you are comfortable with and enjoy her and the journey.

[Chestnut_Mare1]

Ooh been there too. I have a 17 h athletic warmblood as my first horse. We started with several months of groundwork and trail riding. That helped me relax.

[merrygoround]

You have received some really good suggestions, particularly the one about longeing.

Because she is trained to Third, she has possibly been working at Fourth. I would go back to Training Level, and not even think of taking her higher until you are comfortable at basic walk, trot and canter on the longe–with no reins;). That will teach you not to clutch, and allow her not to get tensed up by a clutching rider. If you can find a longe educated friend (not everyone is as smooth at longeing as you would wish) you would not need an instructor every day.

She will not forget her previous education.

[MareLove]

I love all the positivity here! Thank you all so much!
I ride with my trainer 3 times a week (weather allowing), but I live too far for her (my coach) to give just me lessons so I ride what ever horse needs riding (my Oldenburg is hind sore and is boarded at the barn my coach rides at) and there’s an outbreak of EIA happening so I’m cautious about traveling.
I’ll try riding on the long line with someone on the ground with a neck strap, and everything else suggested!

Thanks again everyone

[Gestalt]

The big movers can put the heebie jeebies in you when all they are doing is walking. So I feel you!

I’ve never trusted a new horse on the lunge. I need to have control of the reins, and working on a constant circle can be hard for a rider to stay in balance. I’m with the posters that said give yourself time to bond with your lovely girl. Build trust between you, even if that means walking in the arena on a loose rein for a few months. Don’t pressure yourself into being brave.

[QuiteFrankly]

Honestly, I find a neck strap and breeches with silicon on the butt help my confidence greatly. I’ve got a lot of issues stemming from leasing a bolter years ago, and the other things I like are regular meditation (I really can’t recommend it enough) lavender oil of my wrists, and chamomile tea. All of these really help me just to ride!

[merrygoround]

@MareLove

I love all the positivity here! Thank you all so much!
I ride with my trainer 3 times a week (weather allowing), but I live too far for her (my coach) to give just me lessons so I ride what ever horse needs riding (my Oldenburg is hind sore and is boarded at the barn my coach rides at) and there’s an outbreak of EIA happening so I’m cautious about traveling.
I’ll try riding on the long line with someone on the ground with a neck strap, and everything else suggested!

Thanks again everyone

I wouldn’t worry about traveling unless of course you are in an area where blood sucking flies are a problem, in which case a top quality fly spray is your friend. Any horse infected should be either rigorously quarantined, or PTS.

Most EIA outbreaks are caused by human ignorance!!!

[GrayCatFarm]

I would like to reinforce the longeing suggestions. It has been phenomenally helpful for me to be able to simply concentrate on how I am sitting, and how simple shifts of weight can influence the horse. Conversely, it has let my new mare become used to my seat. I see it as a win-win.

[MareLove]

@merrygoround

I wouldn’t worry about traveling unless of course you are in an area where blood sucking flies are a problem, in which case a top quality fly spray is your friend. Any horse infected should be either rigorously quarantined, or PTS.

Most EIA outbreaks are caused by human ignorance!!!

There’s people still going to shows, and I’m just thinking “is your horse’s life really worth a .25 cent ribbon?”
I probably go through a bottle of fly spray every week, I can’t have fly sheets on my horses cause they break them all LOL

[merrygoround]

EIA-equine infectious anemia is spread by direct blood transfer. Perhaps you are thinking of EHV-Equine Herpes Virus, which is airborne transmission.

[alibi_18]

@merrygoround

EIA-equine infectious anemia is spread by direct blood transfer. Perhaps you are thinking of EHV-Equine Herpes Virus, which is airborne transmission.

My guess is the OP is in Manitoba, there were a few cases reported there, and horses were euthanized. The last report is from Sept. 18, 2017.

http://www.equinediseasecc.org/alerts/outbreaks