Overcoming Fear After an Injury

[KBC]

People who ride without fear are not brave, because the have never felt the fear and carried anyway. By fear I mean the standing on the mounting block crying because there is no way that you can get on right now, I mean hyperventilating just looking at your English saddle, because there is no way that you can even imagine trying to mount and sit in that, even though you curse every time you have to carry your western anywhere.

No, those of us who cry, who shake, who throw up, we are the brave ones, and every time we take one step to beat that fear, then we should celebrate the achievement, rather than bemoaning what still restricts us.

A year out from my big one, I now ride wearing helmet and safety vest always, I still feel the fear when mounting, but it is ebbing away when riding, and to get there I accepted I was a new person, new mind set and new body, so literally went lead rein, to walk trot, learning to breathe, smile and talk while riding. I found my body often knew what to do if I could get the brain to quit overriding and literally over-riding the poor horse. I’ve spent a lot of time scaring my fellow riders, by singing out loud while riding…

Try Bachs Rescue Remedy a couple of drops, sprays before you ride can help just take the edge off.

[Ceylon_Star]

Thanks for all the supportive and wise words.

Unfortunately my mental health is in a REALLY bad place right now and today was the first time I’ve seen my pony in an uncomfortable amount of time. I actually sat with him in his paddock, sobbing uncontrollably while he curled up and laid down next to me with his head in my lap. Depending on how the next few days go, I might not see him again for a while, so I’m glad I got that time with him.

Now, to take that love (translated: trust) and bring it with me into the saddle. I need to step up to the plate and ride him more often (well, as long as I’m not admitted into psych…) because one of my leasers bailed on me at the last second. Thank goodness the other one (who I loosely refer to as a leaser since she rides for free since she’s done the majority of his under saddle training for me) is AMAZING and supportive and her and her family are willing to help me with board if I end up having to go away for longer than a few days.

[Wellspotted]

I have been there too.

Right now I don’t have access to any horse even to visit, I tried volunteering at a local therapy barn but finally realized I was not enjoying it, and right now I don’t have transportation to get there anyway. Hopefully things will change this autumn (I deliberately didn’t put “fall”).

Maybe I am a new person right now too. Maybe when I get to try getting up on a horse again I will have to get to know this new person I may be at that time.

I know it would make me feel better all over, inside and out, to get to have some “horse therapy.” Maybe it is time for my friend to take me to visit some horses again.

[KBC]

@Wellspotted;7650303

![](aybe I am a new person right now too. Maybe when I get to try getting up on a horse again I will have to get to know this new person I may be at that time.

It is a lot easier if you can let go of the person that you were, she’s in the past, and this is a new you. If you hang onto that past person it can frustrate you and hold you back. Learn to love the person you are now, with the changes in body and mind, and work with the new material you have been given.

This woman

[IMG]http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb198/rm185western/Horses/Gibbs/Nov10thbackinthesaddle2.jpg)

Is smiling because she is on her horse, she is being led like a beginner, but by heck she got on the damn horse and rode it.

The woman before would of been frustrated at being led around, wanting to get on with it.

The woman before is gone, this new one has appeared, and she is a new story being written. Grief for the woman lost was fleeting, acceptance of the woman now was hard, looking forward to the woman to be, well that is exciting. Setting small goals for this woman to achieve is great, and I feel a sense of accomplishment when I nail something.

I am not frustrated that I still have two big goals to get, being able to mount alone, and to be able to ride outside the safety of an arena, I will get there, and when I have nailed those two I will add them to the list of things I have done, and add more for the journey forward.

So, grieve quietly and quickly for the old you, if you have had a life changing experience, then accept the change, and the challenge and see what you CAN do.

[RMJacobs]

KBC, what you said is very wise, and it applies so well to those of us who had to get ourselves through mourning for the previous self we lost to disease.

Injury or disease (or injury AND disease in my case, as is true for lots of equestrians) are so life changing, and the only way to move on is to focus on what we can do, not what we cannot.

Rebecca

[gdolapp]

In my opinion and experience what you are going through is natural. I have been riding well over 45 years. Had my share of spills and injuries. Always was able to get right back up dust myself off and get right back on. 7 years ago I got hurt and couldn’t get back up and get back on. I feel that because I was hurt so bad and couldn’t get right back on is part of the reason for my troubles.
I am not afraid to admit that I lost a lot of confidence. I managed six months later to finally get back on my horse.

I rode him quite often but always had the accident in the back of my mind and always felt nervouse and had and still have anxiety issues. I lost this horse in 2012. In 2013 I got a mule thinking that riding my friends mules over the last few years a mule would be great. It turned out this mule was not right for me.
Just last month I got a 12 yr old qh gelding and started riding a lot again. I feel very comfortable on this horse and really like him.

The best advice I can give you is START out small. Start doing tons of ground work with your horse. Take walks, saddle your horse and get on get back off get back on. You don’t necessarily have to ride. Start rebuilding the trust the more you work on the ground the more comfortable you could become. You will know when the right time to get back on and truelly ride is.

[FourFaults]

I echo what KBC says. Take it slow & reward yourself for your progress no matter what it is and how inconsquential it may seem. I fell off about 4 years ago and hurt myself very, very badly. I was off my horse for a year and when I came back, I was actually surprised at how terrifed I was. Especially, since, like you, I had dreamt about getting back to riding the entire time I was off.

I won’t lie - it took a very long time for riding to be fun again. It wasn’t until last fall when I was happy and smiling on my horse (I did have some time off in there for three more injuries - 2 small horse related ones & a renovation related one). My saviour was a patient coach and an amazing gelding who could not be fazed no matter how scared I was or how bad I hung on his face. I wanted to go right back to how I was pre-fall, but realized that was not to be.

I had to do a whole mental revamp and tell myself, “Hey! You trotted today and kept it forward and did X # of rounds of the arena!” Wtg! Or, “Jenn! You did your first canter on the right lead and didn’t have to ask for it 12 times!”

Be kind to yourself. Lots of posters here have been there and they offered me lots of great advice (the thread might still be around…think it’s called "Am I being a quitter if I don’t ride anymore) so I’m sure they will for you as well.

Hugs!!
Jenn

[KBC]

How’s it going OP?

I made a huge discovery yesterday, so thought I would throw it in here, you never know when a random searcher is looking for tips.

Mounting was an issue for me before my big accident, my little Haffy mare had ditched me twice before I could get settled in the plate, well to be fair once was bareback! SO to have a major accident while mounting was just kind of icing on the cake time. Since my come back it has remained a major issue for me, I kind of had it beat, but then for no good reason it all went to hell again. I mean crying on the mounting block hell, I mean my trainer having to take me back in the barn for a hug and a kick in the butt last Saturday before I would get on.

Mounting takes a long time, I dither on the block, then when I do get the courage to go, then Gibbs moves, and we start again. Then I make the commitment to step over, complete with a huge inrush of breath, and I kind of flop into the saddle, not elegant, and not good for either of us. Yesterday I was in the arena on my own, and I though I’ll beat this thing, and I lost count of the number of times I tried, and failed, to get up there. Then there was this little quiet voice from a youngster who had turned up early for her lesson “would you like a hand” I gratefully accepted her help, and once again climbed up on my horse with that familiar sting of tears over yet another failure.

We had a great ride though, he is becoming a lot freer in his movement, especially now I have learned not to nag! When I stopped him and jumped off I had a thought, “lets try mounting again” and YIPPEEE It WORKED. I walked him to the box, parked him, he stood like a good little QH, stock still, head just on level, I walked up the steps, foot in stirrup, stepped over, sat gently down HOORAH. Sat still for a few minutes, walked forward, jumped off, tried again…same result, and again…YES.

All that anxiety all parcelled into a barrier to actually riding, was just making things worse, actually getting on while you are still on a high from the ride - success. Can’t wait until Saturday, if I can’t manage the first mount on my own, then OK, but I will do some unassisted ones through the lesson, because it just felt GREAT.

Sorry for the novel, but it was exciting, and I hope the approach helps someone else

[wateryglen]

I am in awe at the amazing things ya’ll are contributing and think there’s a LOT of wisdom and empathy in this thread! Wonderful! See OP? We’ve been there and done that! Especially us more mature riders with decrepitudes and experience. The"" loss of the previous self is what grieving our aging is all about imho. We have to adjust all our lives to our new “situations”, new looks, new levels of health. I hate it too I whine too. But the experience part is also knowledge and knowledge reduces fear. Small steps. I always say this: 2 steps forward…1 step back…1 forward/2 back and so on…eventually you’ll get there. Celebrate your small successes. Enjoy the company of your pet rather than think you have to DO something…how about just BEING something? Riding is only part of the horseperson experience.
Best wishes and join in…so many of us are on the same journey!!

[stryder]

Good for you, KBC! And bless that youngster for stepping up.

One of the many things I love about my barn is that we help each other. When I’m in an unconfident mode it’s easy for me to ask for help. And I’m quick to offer too, if someone looks like they need a steadying hand while they swing on.

For some crazy reason, horses seem to react to “stay with me” regardless of whether I think or say it, whether it’s during bridling or mounting. When I thought “don’t walk off” or “she’s going to walk off” she did. When I switched it to, “stay with me” she stood rock solid.

YMMV, of course.

[anmoro]

Overcoming fear is difficult. I thought I had overcome mine (post horrific accident) and all it took were two untrained, spooky horses and negligent teen riders to throw it all in the trash.

My fear of riding is minimal. I get on I do my breathing and I am fine. My fear is on the ground. My accident happened on the ground. It took months for me to enter my horses stall, to finally brush him, to take him in and out of his stall. My accident was July 4, 2013 and by March 2014, I could finally go in to the field, get him out and put him back in. Then that day with the two crazy horses and teens happened. The horses were not properly tied up, they pulled back, one broke it’s halter, the other twisted until it got loose, and they took off running like bats out of hell. (for background info, my accident happened by me getting trampled). I was in my horse’s stall brushing him to ride when it happened. It was so dramatic even he spooked (and he’s sane as can be). It set me in to an instant panic attack. I fell down in his stall in the corner, I couldn’t catch my breath, I rehashed the accident over and over again. When I tried to get out of his stall I couldn’t open the door because I was so rattled. That set me back so much. Now I can’t lead him, walk him or anything. It wasn’t his fault. It was traumatic memories. I do hope in time, that I will get over that fear, however I know that relapses will happen.

I like what one poster said. Those of us that cry, that throw up, that can’t breathe, we are the brave ones. It sounds like my routine at the barn. But then I realize when it is time, it will happen and I will be ready and nothing will hold me back.

Here is to those of us that continue to be brave and strong!

[Zu_Zu]

Time and patience and more time and more patience ~ Jingles & AO ~

Time and patience and more time and patience ~

((hugs)) Jingles & AO laced with understanding ~

[KBC]

Anmoro, the thought of you cowering in your horses stall, just makes me so so sad, it is a real pain when you have taken so many steps to recovery, only to get knocked right back down again. Sending jingles that you can climb the ladder again.

One outside thing that really helped me was EFT http://www.theenergytherapycentre.co.uk/tapping-points.htm my physiotherapist actually introduced me to it, when I broke down in tears at a session, and she realised that the set goal if getting me fit enough to ride meant getting my brain fixed as well as my body.

In my case I had to let go of guilt…I should never of bought Ben, green on green and all that…so we worked through that first, that one was weird, having to say outloud “even though I failed Ben I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” just not my style, but you know it worked.

After that first time, we changed it to “The black horse has gone, the grey horse is good” Because all I could see in my mind was that big black neck and mane rising up in front of me, and I would get nervous.

From that time I would drive to the stables doing rounds of the tapping, and saying the mantra, at first feeling stupid, but if actually took my anxiety levels down several notches. I still do the tapping if needed, but the instances are getting less frequent.

[Ceylon_Star]

SUPER glad to not be alone <3

I haven’t really been back on my pony since M gave me another mini lesson a few weeks ago. I was a LOT more anxious that day and made her keep me on the lunge line. I’ve had way too much going on while trying to deal with some debilitating mental health issues (see http://www.chronofhorse.com/forum/showthread.php?441438-A-cother-needs-jingles ). I’m lucky if I get out to see him once a week at the moment. Going to start having a set “barn day” with a friend who’s also dealing with mental health issues, and hopefully that’ll help get me back in the swing of things.

Pony has been super patient with me though (other than yesterday when he was terrified of me while I was having a really violent tremor episode), and when I do manage to get out to see him I spend HOURS grooming him til he shines like a diamond in the sunshine. Some days I’ll just cry into his neck for a bit and then come home to bed. There are moments when I feel like a horrible pony daddy for not doing more with him and feel like he’d be better off with someone else, but then I remember that he is the reason I get out of bed (when I actually manage to do so) and if I didn’t have him I wouldn’t be here.

[stryder]

Ceylon Star, I think you’re a great pony daddy. Your pony doesn’t wake up in the morning and think, “wow. I need to start a new poop pile over there because …” or “I can’t wait to get after those flying lead changes.”

No. He wants to hang with his buds, eat and nap. You are his bud. Some nice grooming … all he has to do is hang there. He can do more of course, and he doesn’t have to. Neither do you.

You want to groom him until he shines in the dark? That’s awesome. If you feel like it, put your belly up next to his, and breathe with him. Just slow, in and out. Sometimes I ask my mare to help me reset, and that’s what we do. In, and out.

Enjoy him.

[RMJacobs]

You all are making me more accepting of my fear issues–if brave people like you can struggle too, then maybe I’m not the wimp I sometimes feel I am.

KBC, I also have visual flashbacks to a bad crash–for me, it’s seeing the spots on my Appy’s coat flying past my face as I came off and landed on my head. It’s been a lot of years, so now I am at the point of only dreaming it sometimes, instead of seeing it waking and sleeping.

What I find interesting is that, while I’m still a basket case on a horse’s back, I am pretty fearless driving. I am so grateful that I’ve never had a driving crash that would kill that joy as well. It helps that I have a very bombproof pony which I trained to drive myself, but I even felt good driving my insane Hackney back when he was still my main man. Logically I know I can get hurt just as badly (or even far worse) driving, but since it hasn’t happened, it doesn’t feel like an imminent reality. The human mind is strange…

Kudos to all of you for your courage, grace and willingness to share.

Rebecca

[Cindyg]

I’m overcoming my own phobia. Mine is mainly about riding “out.” For whatever reason, I feel safe-ish at home in my own tiny pasture. “Out,” I feel I have no control over anything. A helicopter might land beside us. A sheet might float off a clothesline. A kid might come up on a go kart. You know what I mean.

For me, this involved getting a new “old lady” appropriate horse and spending a year and a half making sure everything was in place. Your path will be different from mine, of course. My previous horse truly wasn’t safe for me.

Just this week I’ve started taking my new horse “out.” My first “trail ride” was mounting him on a neighbor’s broad, flat driveway. I know to someone who has not been there this sounds crazy, but it was hard; and I am thrilled at having done it.

Anyway, if it makes you feel any better observing someone else in the same boat, go look at my blog. Scroll down a few days.

[KBC]

[QUOTE=C![](ndyg;7687773]

Just this week I’ve started taking my new horse “out.” My first “trail ride” was mounting him on a neighbor’s broad, flat driveway. I know to someone who has not been there this sounds crazy, but it was hard; and I am thrilled at having done it.

[/QUOTE]

Oh congratulations, I know how that one feels, I actually rode my guy ‘out’ a couple of weeks ago, we had a fun night at the barn, that was going to end with a trail ride. Lesson in morning, fine, playing games at the fun night, fine, but all the time there was the spectre of the ride ‘out’ but I DID IT. Just a nice quiet walk around the fields, but to me it was huge…

[IMG]http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb198/rm185western/Horses/Gibbs/1sttrailride12thjuly.jpg)

All these little victories to celebrate, things we used to take for granted :lol:

[Gayla]

All of the personal stories here were just fantastic! So many courageous people! I have specialized in this problem and work with it in my own life. What I have learned as a mental health therapist is that everyone that has written about their struggles with their emotions could continue to have the same exact feelings they have always had (and may always have in the future) and enjoy riding and achieve your goals. I have struggled with fear in the past and although I continue to feel fear I no longer struggle with it (mostly, always a work in progress you know). That’s the magic that will set you free! The person above who talked about meditation is right on. Step one is to begin to work on mindfulness. In my opinion, you can’t begin meaningful change if you can’t stop and listen to what’s going on in your mind. If you are new to it check out this video it is a great way to start. http://youtu.be/3nwwKbM_vJc I have cut back on my clinical practice and have some free time during the week right now, if anyone is interested in getting a group together we could meet on webex and I would be happy to share what I know helps (gratis of course for my COTH buds :D).

[Ray]

Another great therapy for fear related to accidents etc is EMDR. google it, there are good explanations, its a treatment for PTSD. I worked with a FANTASTIC sports/riding psychologist here in MA, and EMDR made a huge difference. if you still have those physical fear reactions when something reminds you of prior events, this is for you. it helps you put those experiences in a new file drawer, more like all of your other memories. it can also be used to help cement your new vision of what you want riding to look like and feel like, using visualization. its incredibly empowering to find you dont have to be stuck with this fear.