People Attempting to Undermine Safe Sport

[CanteringCarrot]

I can’t get over the fact that people care so little about their kids/kids in general…all because of some pursuit of success in a luxury pet sport.

I just cannot think of a single responsible parent I know letting their kid be in close contact with an adult that has committed such offenses…whether it was 1 year ago or 15 years ago. No normal, healthy, person does this (such inappropriate things to a child). Ever. As a parent you can choose who is in your kids life for the most part, you have a choice in this, and if your choice is to support a predator, that’s just beyond me.

[Midge]

Abusers groom their character witnesses as carefully as they groom their victims.

[trubandloki]

@CanteringCarrot

I can’t get over the fact that people care so little about their kids/kids in general…all because of some pursuit of success in a luxury pet sport.

The part that I do not get is, people in the area say there is no shortage of instruction available for this level of rider, so why stick with this barn once you know there is a problem there? Pick one of the many other options, that is not banned, and go ride there. Then your kid can do those horse shows that are so important to you (the poster above, not the one I quoted).

[Virginia_Horse_Mom]

There is a ton of instruction available within the immediate area of his program, and the surrounding counties.

Seriously people, if there is a culture of omertà at your barn regarding the trainer/s past… that’s a pretty obvious sign you probably should run a background check on the trainer. Get the facts about their background from verifiable public records, and then decide if that program is REALLY the best place to drop your kid off all day for summer camp (or for your kid to take lessons, or whatever).

[ChestnutMare1]

The amount of child riding programs in the Northern Virginia area is staggering. We had like one option in the area where I grew up halfway across the country.

If you’re an adult and want to ride with Mr. Navarro, fine. You still can’t show and there are systemic problems with how he runs his barn maintenance and horse care, but whatever.

But there’s absolutely no reason to bring your child to him for instruction.

I pray for your horse if you board at one of Navarro’s barns, especially if you let him ruin your horse in his lesson program. And please don’t buy any horse from him - the man has no legitimate contacts in the industry.

[Horse_Rider]

When someone rolls up and listens to folks condemn a child sodomizer and then righteously throws out “glass houses,” I wonder about the architecture of the homes that person has either chosen to live among or has built for themself. When you start assuming everyone has a glass house you can threaten, it says more about you than it does everyone else.

My advice is that if you start finding your neighborhood is full of glass houses and you’re starting to assume that’s the norm? Move. Immediately.

[oreo_mom]

I did

[Virginia_Horse_Mom]

Someone should start a thread concerning all time top ten trolls on the COTH forums, and their most outrageous comments. I’m not sure what category it would fall in. But it would be amusing.

[2bayboys]

Look. If the fact that Navarro is a convicted child sodomizer is not enough to keep you from giving him business, how about the fact that he is not allowed to step foot on USEF recognized show grounds and not welcome at some non-USEF competitions because of being a convicted child sodomizer. I mean, be pragmatic at least. You are limiting your riding opportunities because of your association with this person. Is it worth it?

[skydy]

@kadamson is blaming VHM for the fact that Riverchase is unwelcome at Beverly shows.

It’s strange that she doesn’t blame Navarro, the person who got himself banned by Safe Sport for his criminal behavior, but whatever… I suppose people who knowingly associate their children with Safe Sport banned men aren’t the most logical thinkers.

[trubandloki]

@skydy

I suppose people who knowingly associate their children with Safe Sport banned men aren’t the most logical thinkers.

Not sticking up for this person (or anyone involved) - sometimes it is not a case of not being a logical thinker but more a case of simply wanting to believe what you think you know.

I have told this story before on this forum.
I knew a man who I later learned had a history of sexually abusing young boys. (This was before the whole internet thing.) When the local police officer told all of us (young adults) in the organization we were all involved in (did not involved kids) we were all floored. Yes, we believed the officer. But darn it, the man we knew was so… not like that.

It is truly hard sometimes to realize that you have fallen for the scam of someone who lives their life deceiving others. Everyone likes to think they are smart enough to not fall prey to someone like this. That they would know if they were dealing with someone like that. People like that are not normal, they are creepy, not like our friend, blah blah blah.

I like to hope these parents, right now, are just in the ‘Not the wonderful person I know’ phase of learning and will soon realize that it is not their fault that they were scammed, and now that they know it is OK to admit that they messed up and move on to another trainer, where their kids can enjoy learning to ride and are not at risk.

[skydy]

That’s a great post.

The only difference here is that these people know he was convicted but believe he won’t do it again and they are willing to bet their children on that belief.

[trubandloki]

@skydy

The only difference here is that these people know he was convicted but believe he won’t do it again and they are willing to bet their children on that belief.

I keep hoping that is a right now thing.
They know the man they have seen in front of them, the man who has perfected his ‘normal person’ act.

[skydy]

@trubandloki

@skydy

The only difference here is that these people know he was convicted but believe he won’t do it again and they are willing to bet their children on that belief.

I keep hoping that is a right now thing.
They know the man they have seen in front of them, the man who has perfected his ‘normal person’ act.

I hope so too, however just looking at the title of this thread shows us that there are people who really don’t (and won’t) put children first.

The two people who are defending Tom Navarro on this thread have referred to his child molestation as “messing up” and an “incident” respectively. With attitudes like that I don’t hold out much hope for them to come around.

[Virginia_Horse_Mom]

I think I’ve become the ‘de facto’ COTH poster for many of the folks who are upset about SafeSport requirements to be mad at. I assume because I started this thread, and the thread hasn’t died yet, and the ongoing discussion makes it hard for people who have restrictions because of SafeSport sanctions to ‘fly under the radar’ and to continue operating coaching businesses.

I’m really glad I have more than one child involved in more than one sport… it helps provide perspective on how bizarre this whole “‘HUSH! Don’t you dare talk about all the coaches who have criminal histories or SafeSport bans!” attitude is within the horse world.

[Virginia_Horse_Mom]

Great post @trubandloki

I’ll admit, I’m passionate about this issue because I am a survivor (though not in terms of sport related child abuse… just in general). It admittedly has made me a hyper vigilant parent. SafeSport (and other similar programs or background check requirements in youth sports in general) are so important. Once you start watching how many coaches, teachers, and other related folks who work with kids are weeded out by these programs because of demonstrated proof of predatory histories?

It’s pretty shocking.

I know I’ve beaten up on many pros on this thread, who have publicly decried SafeSport over the last 2 years… so I can understand why they are upset about this thread, or mad at my posts. They are focused on their careers and their businesses, and apparently there are a lot of these folks who are worried that they will lose everything because of a false accusation or something, and then getting banned unfairly by SafeSport.

I obviously come at it from a totally different perspective and position, and think that is not a serious risk (and not nearly as much of a concern as a culture of child abuse)… but I will admit… I can logically grasp how these folks have anxiety, and are prone to taking a different position when it comes to whether SafeSport is a good or bad thing.

I have trouble, however, with the many sport participants who don’t have business interests… and are simply upset because they may no longer be able to ride with their favorite coach. Or are upset because myself or other folks on this thread ‘badmouthed’ a banned pro who is a personal friend of theirs. For the most part… I assume many of these folks are not parents, and are not abuse survivors themselves. So they aren’t as concerned about the issue of child abuse as others are. They’re just concerned about their friends.

When it comes to parents who actually know a coach has a predatory history (and a related criminal record), yet they choose to support that coach anyway?

I don’t understand that. At all.

[EmilyM]

Did you ever figure out who was trying to track you down IRL after receiving weird PMs?

One thing safe sport discussions and articles have done for me personally is illuminate all the folks I don’t want to patronize with my dollars.

[Virginia_Horse_Mom]

That was on the old Horse Show Diva site, over a year ago. Really creepy and weird. But nothing ever came of it that I know of. The thread was really heated back then though, and focused on Athletes for Equity… and admittedly… we were mocking that group quite a bit, And they didn’t like it. They were serious about overturning SafeSport.

Since then, that group has pivoted to talking about ‘reforming’ SafeSport. I have no idea what that entails… I don’t subscribe to their newsletters. I assume they have worked through the first few stages of grief with respect to the GM ban now though.

The Tom N stans posting now? I assume they are simply upset over the recent discussions this summer, and the fact that there is a bit more awareness in NoVa with respect to his ban. I doubt they have anything to do with weird HSD doxxing threats tho.

[Horse_Rider]

Except here you are? Still in our little metaphorical neighborhood that you have just stated is full of glass houses?

[Virginia_Horse_Mom]

Oreo doesn’t live in a neighborhood… she lives under a bridge.