Please help

[rcloisonne]

@Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7965550

I got her in Sept.,she was delivered to our place two days later,I rode her the next few days,to get to know her,and see her personality. I would’ve ridden her loooottts more,but she would react violently to being saddled or mounted,so I backed off,I knew something was wrong.

So the horse has had fistulous withers since you got her in September? The vet didn’t take any blood work? According to what I’ve read >37% of horses with fistulous withers test positive for brucellosis. I’m sure your vet is aware of that. It could be considered malpractice for him not to have tested for it.

Not sure what, if anything, you’re doing to treat the condition but if it hasn’t improved by now you absolutely need to have the vet come back.

If your parents won’t/can’t pay for a vet you should contact a horse rescue. Not providing adequate vet care is considered neglect in most parts of the country. You say you love the horse but you need to prove it by getting her the help she needs which is far more important right now than your confidence level.

I’m left wondering if the “wonderful” trainer who sold/gave you this horse saw you and your obviously inexperienced parents as a way to dump the mare.

[Lady_Counselor]

I haven’t read through this thread, so maybe some of this was covered.
1.) if you can’t afford to learn more, I suggest getting a job at a barn (a reputable one) if you can. Many of us couldn’t afford anything growing up, so we worked for it. This can allow you to observe and learn more.
2.) Don’t ask your parents for anything more. Take care of what you have, and show responsibility by working for it. Maybe for birthdays or Christmas you could then ask for clinics or lessons.
3.) pick anyone you work with very, very carefully. There are a lot of not so hot “trainers” out there who will soak you.
4.) attend anything free you can; shows, 4H, free seminars at places like Equine Affair.
5.) have fun with your horse. Stop worrying or second guessing yourself and ride her. I think we get too caught up in the trainer/lessons/showing/clinic thing.
6.) I would ask the vet to do a final check to clear her medically. This way, if she still has attitude, you can rule out the wither issue. There may be a reason they sold her. (You may want to invest in some raspberry leaves if that’s the case.

Best of luck with your new horse. And I think it’s good that you aren’t overly confident on strange horses: it shows you know enough to be wary.

[_Teddy]

Wish:

While the emojis and lack of structure is harder to read, thats not the issue. Please don’t be defensive when I say this.

1. Zoolonic diseases(like FW) are SERIOUS, your literally at risk if bute is all that is being given. Ghazuu is actually a vet.

2. There is no quick fix for confidence issues; ask me how I know! What did help me were solid horses and great instuctors to give me tools to work through it.

Also for at least this board honey, while yes there is a fair share of a$$hats, there ARE upper level riders whom don’t out themselves, so before you throw any advice away think to yourself: can I apply this to me/the situation in anyway? If not ignore it, but at least give it time before getting defensive.

Right now you are in a defence mode, which by nature your not nessasarily processing most feedback being given. So you come off as rude ect… And then backtracking and saying everyone is just mean and won’t help.

[Howlin_Wolf]

[QUOTE=french fry;7961886]
It is beyond me why anyone engages with this type of troll.[/QUOTE]
Thank you.
I was beginning to think I was the only one who thought ‘troll.’
'Tis the season for boredom, no?

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

[QUOTE=Rackonteur;7965610]
Then make your way to that store you don’t like and get a job there so you can pay for lessons! You haven’t said why you don’t like it, BTW.

Go look up what “run of the mill” means, then come back and edit your post with a phrase that accurately describes what you mean. Because a run-of-the-mill ride is just about the opposite of what I think you think you’re describing! Perhaps you mean they could “put you through the mill.”[/QUOTE]

O my word,sorry wrooonnggg phrase so not what I meant!

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

[QUOTE=Ghazzu;7965604]
I’m wondering whether the actual reason that this horse had not been regularly ridden for some time before you got her is because of this problem.[/QUOTE]

Maybe, although we did ask the lady we got her from;she had absolutely no idea?She did have lots of other horses that she was in the midst of training, and I can see how she would’ve been busy tho.

[Ghazzu]

[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7967229]
Maybe, although we did ask the lady we got her from;she had absolutely no idea?She did have lots of other horses that she was in the midst of training, and I can see how she would’ve been busy tho.[/QUOTE]

did you have a prepurchase exam done before you bought her?

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

[QUOTE=Howlin’Wolf;7967041]
Thank you.
I was beginning to think I was the only one who thought ‘troll.’
'Tis the season for boredom, no?[/QUOTE]

Thanks…I love being called a retard,idiot,etc,. Feels wonderful,just wonderful…

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

[QUOTE=Ghazzu;7967235]
did you have a prepurchase exam done before you bought her?[/QUOTE]

No,we didnt.

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

[QUOTE=Teddy;7966195]
Wish:

While the emojis and lack of structure is harder to read, thats not the issue. Please don’t be defensive when I say this.

1. Zoolonic diseases(like FW) are SERIOUS, your literally at risk if bute is all that is being given. Ghazuu is actually a vet.

2. There is no quick fix for confidence issues; ask me how I know! What did help me were solid horses and great instuctors to give me tools to work through it.

Also for at least this board honey, while yes there is a fair share of a$$hats, there ARE upper level riders whom don’t out themselves, so before you throw any advice away think to yourself: can I apply this to me/the situation in anyway? If not ignore it, but at least give it time before getting defensive.

Right now you are in a defence mode, which by nature your not nessasarily processing most feedback being given. So you come off as rude ect… And then backtracking and saying everyone is just mean and won’t help.[/QUOTE]

Well…I wasn’t trying to be defensive…For confidence advice really was all I was asking…my horse is solid though…I am asking also for groundwork ideas that boost confidence.

[RxCate]

Just working with horses period will boost confidence. Better if they are solid citizens and not injured.

[invinoveritas]

If she’s not a troll, she needs help and advice. So maybe those who think she’s a troll could move along,and those who want to try to help OP could give suggestions.

What she is going through, if true, does happen sometimes IRL.

[Night_Flight]

OP, here is the internet definition of a troll in case you are not one, as you seem to currently be interpreting it as a personal insult:

“In Internet slang, a troll (/?tro?l/, /?tr?l/) is a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people,[1] by posting inflammatory,[2] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog) with the deliberate intent of provoking readers into an emotional response[3] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.” (thanks, Wikipedia)

[Jealoushe]

OP it is hard to do groundwork that is beneficial with horses if you are not already confident with them. Truthfully you really shouldn’t be handling an injured horse by yourself if you are not confident.

Do you have a local Pony Club or 4H club you could join? Do you have any friends at school that have horses that might let you watch their lessons? Is there a place you can volunteer to gain knowledge?

If the answer is no, then I suggest picking up a Pony Club manual. You can fine them online too…start reading. With no other options, book are going to be your greatest resource.

[meupatdoes]

[QUOTE=Ghazzu;7967235]
did you have a prepurchase exam done before you bought her?[/QUOTE]

Well, those aren’t free, sooo…

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

[QUOTE=Night Flight;7967342]
OP, here is the internet definition of a troll in case you are not one, as you seem to currently be interpreting it as a personal insult:

“In Internet slang, a troll (/?tro?l/, /?tr?l/) is a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people,[1] by posting inflammatory,[2] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog) with the deliberate intent of provoking readers into an emotional response[3] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.” (thanks, Wikipedia)[/QUOTE]

OK thanks…I also looked it up;and I am definitely NOTone…just to make that clear.I wouldn’t think of posting of a question just for the hooey of it. I posted this question on two forums,the western forum and the off-course forum,hoping to get more advice. My question is very much horse-related, so no it isn’t off-topic, and I most certainly didn’t have the intent of provoking readers into a emotional responses, they were the ones who called it upon themselves to answer “troll”…

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

[QUOTE=Night Flight;7967342]
OP, here is the internet definition of a troll in case you are not one, as you seem to currently be interpreting it as a personal insult:

“In Internet slang, a troll (/?tro?l/, /?tr?l/) is a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people,[1] by posting inflammatory,[2] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog) with the deliberate intent of provoking readers into an emotional response[3] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.” (thanks, Wikipedia)[/QUOTE]

OK thanks…I also looked it up;and I am definitely NOTone…just to make that clear.I wouldn’t think of posting of a question just for the hooey of it. I posted this question on two forums,the western forum and the off-course forum,hoping to get more advice. My question is very much horse-related, so no it isn’t off-topic, and I most certainly didn’t have the intent of provoking readers into a emotional responses, they were the ones who called it upon themselves to answer “troll”…

[caffeinated]

Wish, my gut says this horse had a problem before you bought her. I highly doubt you rode her enough in that span of time to cause the injury, and I absolutely would not be surprised if it had been developing for some time and her reaction to saddling/riding is what prompted her sale in the first place.

I think your best way forward is to not even attempt to saddle or ride again until the vet has been back out to clear her, health wise. All swelling may be gone, she may be OK to touch and poke and prod, but that does not mean the added pressure of tack and rider won’t bother her. This really needs to be monitored by a proper professional, and might really need more aggressive treatment than bute and rest.

As for confidence with new or strange horses, that’s something you get just from doing it, over and over and over. Riding with a trainer who can teach you specific skills (like, “on a nervous horse here’s a few things you can do” and then SHOWS you) will be a million times better for your confidence than anything else.

Given that your parents have said “no” and think they can diagnose for themselves when your mare is better makes me think you’re going to have a real nightmare of a time figuring this out, at least until you can get a job and pay for help on your own.

So, in the complete absence of the ability to do the very best thing, in the meantime I think you can do the following:

• give the horse at least a few more months. Wait until she's OK to be touched/palpated, then wait a little bit more.
• if she lets you tack her up with no drama, that's a good sign, but re-evaluate saddle fit (do a lot of googling to find the different points to look at, or -even better- get a saddle fitter to help you)
• Lunge and do basic groundwork with tack for a few weeks to get a feel for how she reacts to things. Then have a friend around to help when you get back on her the first time. Wear a helmet. Have your friend (mounted) be a "lead" for her so you can get used to how she feels and reacts while hopefully also giving HER confidence.

At any point in any of this, if horse is reacting badly or with tension, STOP what you are doing and realize this is over your head. The most important thing in becoming a good horseman is knowing what you DON’T know (and listening to your gut when things aren’t right). The rider that says “you know what, no thanks, I’m not up for this” is WAY better (in my mind) than the overconfident rider who thinks they can handle anything.

If it goes well, then some food for thought for you: confidence for riding is often a matter of body language. The horse has to believe you are comfortable and relaxed, that you are in charge and set boundaries, but that you are also predictable and consistent. Much of that you can fake to an extent - do some relaxation exercises and if you feel the horse is nervous, your job is to keep your body relaxed, don’t tighten up, and get the horse thinking about moving her feet and listening to you (ie, go “forward” - either by asking for forward motion, leg yielding, putting the horse to work and making her think about something besides what she’s worried about).

But again, the above will be a million times easier with professional guidance. I honestly don’t know what your parents are thinking by denying you the help you clearly need here.

Since I think it will be a while before you should ride her, I’d see about getting together with friends and riding other horses as much as possible, whenever you can, in the meantime so you can learn how to adjust to different horses.

Another book rec, too, which helps for relaxed body language in the saddle and can help confidence is “Centered Riding” by Sally Swift. Lots of great diagrams on how tension affects the body and how to work through that.

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

[QUOTE=caffeinated;7967457]
Wish, my gut says this horse had a problem before you bought her. I highly doubt you rode her enough in that span of time to cause the injury, and I absolutely would not be surprised if it had been developing for some time and her reaction to saddling/riding is what prompted her sale in the first place.

I think your best way forward is to not even attempt to saddle or ride again until the vet has been back out to clear her, health wise. All swelling may be gone, she may be OK to touch and poke and prod, but that does not mean the added pressure of tack and rider won’t bother her. This really needs to be monitored by a proper professional, and might really need more aggressive treatment than bute and rest.

As for confidence with new or strange horses, that’s something you get just from doing it, over and over and over. Riding with a trainer who can teach you specific skills (like, “on a nervous horse here’s a few things you can do” and then SHOWS you) will be a million times better for your confidence than anything else.

Given that your parents have said “no” and think they can diagnose for themselves when your mare is better makes me think you’re going to have a real nightmare of a time figuring this out, at least until you can get a job and pay for help on your own.

So, in the complete absence of the ability to do the very best thing, in the meantime I think you can do the following:

• give the horse at least a few more months. Wait until she's OK to be touched/palpated, then wait a little bit more.
• if she lets you tack her up with no drama, that's a good sign, but re-evaluate saddle fit (do a lot of googling to find the different points to look at, or -even better- get a saddle fitter to help you)
• Lunge and do basic groundwork with tack for a few weeks to get a feel for how she reacts to things. Then have a friend around to help when you get back on her the first time. Wear a helmet. Have your friend (mounted) be a "lead" for her so you can get used to how she feels and reacts while hopefully also giving HER confidence.

At any point in any of this, if horse is reacting badly or with tension, STOP what you are doing and realize this is over your head. The most important thing in becoming a good horseman is knowing what you DON’T know (and listening to your gut when things aren’t right). The rider that says “you know what, no thanks, I’m not up for this” is WAY better (in my mind) than the overconfident rider who thinks they can handle anything.

If it goes well, then some food for thought for you: confidence for riding is often a matter of body language. The horse has to believe you are comfortable and relaxed, that you are in charge and set boundaries, but that you are also predictable and consistent. Much of that you can fake to an extent - do some relaxation exercises and if you feel the horse is nervous, your job is to keep your body relaxed, don’t tighten up, and get the horse thinking about moving her feet and listening to you (ie, go “forward” - either by asking for forward motion, leg yielding, putting the horse to work and making her think about something besides what she’s worried about).

But again, the above will be a million times easier with professional guidance. I honestly don’t know what your parents are thinking by denying you the help you clearly need here.

Since I think it will be a while before you should ride her, I’d see about getting together with friends and riding other horses as much as possible, whenever you can, in the meantime so you can learn how to adjust to different horses.

Another book rec, too, which helps for relaxed body language in the saddle and can help confidence is “Centered Riding” by Sally Swift. Lots of great diagrams on how tension affects the body and how to work through that.[/QUOTE]

Thank you a lot! That’s what we are led to believe also,about her injury building up before we got her. Thank you for your positive output, it was very much appreciated and I will certainly do all this! Thank you, and have a good day

[_Teddy]

[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7967245]
Well…I wasn’t trying to be defensive…For confidence advice really was all I was asking…my horse is solid though…I am asking also for groundwork ideas that boost confidence.[/QUOTE]

One last shot here for me:

We realize that your not trying to be rude/defensive. The problem is people are giving you solid advice, instead of you saying ok lets try that, or thank you but it dosen’t apply to me. You say well thats not right I know I’m fine!!

I’m afraid confidence is a complex thing to repair, in which it cannot be remedied with pure groundwork. You need someone to show you HOW first(acquiring a tool) then apply it with horses your comfortable with(that you FEEL SAFE around) then move up to different horses which vary from your safe horse.

You can watch youtube and read books, that does help, but they can only give you so much practical tools.