Please help

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

[QUOTE=Seraph;7963810]
Hi OP! Welcome to the board.

I am just popping in to tell you about a super nice part of this BB. If you click on a poster’s name, you’ll see an “Add to Ignore List” option. It’s very useful for some of the people on this thread!

What I have done to get some side money is go above normal household chores. Something like cleaning out closets, scrubbing baseboards, organizing the attic, or making the screen porch presentable. I’m not sure how your house is set up but there’s a few ideas.

Good luck with your horse![/QUOTE]

Okay,Thank you:) I really don’t want to be rude…but I guess other people have taken care of that consideration and tossed it to the side… so,if they want to be rude…there is always that option!

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

[QUOTE=meupatdoes;7965501]
Nobody is saying keep the horse stalled 3 hours a day with a blanket on, they are saying perhaps have the farrier out more than twice a year, ask the vet if the pus explosion in the withers has healed enough for riding, and if you are scared to ride your own horse get some help.[/QUOTE]

I guess I didn’t make it clear…we caught it before it burst.

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

[QUOTE=danceronice;7963131]
Yes, PLEASE, lose the emojis. It’s really annoying to have to try reading when every sentence is peppered with :mad: :yes:[/QUOTE]

Well,I don’t want to appear rude.

[Coanteen]

[QUOTE=meupatdoes;7965501]
Nobody is saying keep the horse stalled 3 hours a day with a blanket on, they are saying perhaps have the farrier out more than twice a year, ask the vet if the pus explosion in the withers has healed enough for riding, and if you are scared to ride your own horse get some help.[/QUOTE]

She explained that she was scared to ride because she wasn’t sure if the horse was ok to ride, not because she was scared of the horse. More a vet issue, not a trainer issue.

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

[QUOTE=olddogs;7962334]
When you got the mare in Sept. the woman told you that she hadn’t been ridden much in the last two years because. “the owner didn’t have time for her.”

You tried the mare, you loved her, you brought her home and you rode her…twice.

Why? Was there something off about the mare from the get-go? Did your sister start off riding the new mare while you kept on with Cowgirl?

Anyone, any age, gets a new horse, well trained, dead broke; they are going to rush home from school, or work, and ride. Even if only for a few minutes around the pasture. So, why so few rides?[/QUOTE]

I got her in Sept.,she was delivered to our place two days later,I rode her the next few days,to get to know her,and see her personality. I would’ve ridden her loooottts more,but she would react violently to being saddled or mounted,so I backed off,I knew something was wrong.She was kicking at the cinch,for pete’s sake,and she NEVER kicked.So,I let her rest,thinking maybe it was just her muscles that were sore,but I kept an eye on her for the next few days! I tried to saddle her up again later,same reaction.I discovered some swelling on her shoulders,and she was VERY touchy around her withers! So,we got the vet out,and he found what was wrong with her,gave us the medication,.etc. So,there you have it.That’s the reason for so few rides.

[Rackonteur]

"we’ve gotten you everything else (such as horse,tack,and the necessities,

That’s the problem, right there. Those are NOT the necessities! The necessity would be lessons with a good trainer at a lesson barn. That is where your parents should have started you, for your safety, a sensible return on their cash outlay, and the happiness of all of you. To give a child a horse and tack without adding the necessities of lessons with a knowledgeable trainer …

:rolleyes:

And for us adults here on COTH to take on the responsibility of giving advice to a minor child is even more irresponsible than what her parents have done.

I have been the teenager (and younger) who wanted a horse and figured I could train it myself and even show it, without a trainer. But now I am older and wiser. And my parents chose not to spend their money on a backyard horse; they did give me lessons.

Wish, I am sorry you find yourself in this mess. I wish your parents had researched horse ownership a little before they did this.

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

[QUOTE=wireweiners;7962317]
First, as my teen daughter tells me when I use text speak, post like a grown up. If you want people to take you seriously on this board, lose the emojis and use correct English and spelling and paragraphs.

Second, I’m not sure what your problem is. What is causing your confidence issues? Is the mare having behavior problems because of not being ridden or are you afraid to ride her because of her medical condition? Are you comfortable riding your other horse or your friends’ horses?

I’m also a bit confused about the fistulous withers problem. As I understand it, fistulous withers is basically a deep access. It can be caused by the brucellosis organism but that is rare now days due to brucellosis eradication programs. It can also be caused by severe trauma to the withers. A poor fitting saddle could cause it but unless your mare has unusually broad withers or you have an old A fork narrow saddle, I wouldn’t suspect that was the cause. Can you tell us a bit more of what your vet said?

For the rest of you, there is a different culture of horse keeping in more rural, western areas. More horses are kept at home and under rougher conditions. It doesn’t mean they are neglected or don’t have their basic needs met. But there aren’t “barns” where a kid can hang out or work and lessons and trainers aren’t common, at least not the kind you people on the east and west coasts know about. Believe it or not there are plenty of people who ride, enjoy, and take good care of their horses without trainers, lessons and saddle fitters. It is possible to take good care of a horse on a shoe string budget

As far as jobs go, if this girl lives in a rural area and doesn’t drive, a job may cost more than she’d make if you figure in gas and drive time, not to mention you have to be a least 16 to work most places.

For the OP, what are your goals with this horse? Local show or playdays? Serious rodeo? Are your parents willing to haul for this? Local play days can be done relatively inexpensively but serious rodeo is very expensive. I would second the recommendation for 4H. It is an excellent program. You can sell it to your parents by telling them of scholarship programs available for 4H members.[/QUOTE]

Well,about the emoji’s: I don’t want to appear rude.And yes,I feel unconfident when riding my friends horses,or any others.But,for now,with my new horse,I am looking for groundwork exercises to boost my confidence with her,and also am unsure about riding her,as I don’t want to hurt her. I would have to build her up slowly,but I want to teach her to barrelrace. Not that we would actually do it,but it would be fun to do,and compete with friends.

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7965566]
Well,about the emoji’s: I don’t want to appear rude.And yes,I feel unconfident when riding my friends horses,or any others.But,for now,with my new horse,I am looking for groundwork exercises to boost my confidence with her,and also am unsure about riding her,as I don’t want to hurt her. I would have to build her up slowly,but I want to teach her to barrelrace. Not that we would actually do it,but it would be fun to do,and compete with friends.[/QUOTE]

I would also LOVE if someone had any other advice on how to feel confident,even if the horse is not mine.Any takers?

[Wish_Upon_a_Star2000]

[QUOTE=Rackonteur;7965551]
That’s the problem, right there. Those are NOT the necessities! The necessity would be lessons with a good trainer at a lesson barn. That is where your parents should have started you, for your safety, a sensible return on their cash outlay, and the happiness of all of you. To give a child a horse and tack without adding the necessities of lessons with a knowledgeable trainer …

:rolleyes:

And for us adults here on COTH to take on the responsibility of giving advice to a minor child is even more irresponsible than what her parents have done.

I have been the teenager (and younger) who wanted a horse and figured I could train it myself and even show it, without a trainer. But now I am older and wiser. And my parents chose not to spend their money on a backyard horse; they did give me lessons.

Wish, I am sorry you find yourself in this mess. I wish your parents had researched horse ownership a little before they did this.[/QUOTE]

For two years (and more!) I took lessons at a friends’ house,not just your average “let’s take a hack” but much,MUCH more!She taught me how to bridle,groom,take care of,halter,saddle,and feed horses etc,And,she taught me how to ride,and I wasn’t riding on little obedient plugs,either. Yes,the horses were older,but they could give you one mighty test of will if you LET them.Which,was what she was teaching me to handle,control,and work with them.
Yes,we went on trail rides,but also had good riding lessons,and were good quality.I learned the basics,you know:whoa,giddyup,turn, neck reining,and direct, “steering controls”,and so much more.I feel I will never ever be able to pay her back for all she’s done for me,and taught me!And she never had a riding lesson in her life!She later got a job with a trainer,and she did really well too,her horses are a testimony of that. Good day, mate.

[Ghazzu]

I’m wondering whether the actual reason that this horse had not been regularly ridden for some time before you got her is because of this problem.

[Rackonteur]

if there’s not a way,I MAKE a way!

Then make your way to that store you don’t like and get a job there so you can pay for lessons! You haven’t said why you don’t like it, BTW.

they could give you the run of the mill

Go look up what “run of the mill” means, then come back and edit your post with a phrase that accurately describes what you mean. Because a run-of-the-mill ride is just about the opposite of what I think you think you’re describing! Perhaps you mean they could “put you through the mill.”

[Jackie_Cochran]

Hi Wish!

Just a nod of encouragement here. You sound like you have it together. I am impressed with the way you “caught” the fistula of the wither before it drained, and you getting the veterinarian out because you realized this was serious, and you are following the veterinarian’s recommendations for treatment, way to go!!!

If you get the John Richard Young books you will be able to build upon what you already know, just like I did when I originally bought “Schooling for Young Riders” decades ago. Confidence comes from having a good foundation of knowledge, a foundation that is based on sound theory and a good appreciation of reality. These books will help you greatly in this. His seat and horsemanship is based on the methods of the most modern US Cavalry practices. They dealt with a LOT of range horses back then!

[Bicoastal]

What are parents thinking?

[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7961465]
Lol I’d love to have a trainer!!but I dont have money for it,neither does my parents![/QUOTE]

Parents can afford two horses but draw the line at learning now to interact with horses? It isn’t a giant dog. It is an animal that can hurt and kill you.

How do parents think this is safe? :eek: CRAZY.

I got to page 5. Are OP’s horses kept at home :uhoh: or boarded out?

[Bicoastal]

Why did I keep reading?

[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7961718]
I had riding lessons at a friends house for more than 2 years before I got my horse.so,yeah,it wasnt like jumping in without knowing how to swim :)[/QUOTE] That shows just how naive you are.

[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7962059]The only advice I saw was the polite ppl who actually tried to help :([/QUOTE] I think any internet advisor would be severely negligent to tell you to go do XYZ. Any sight unseen advice would put the horse and the human at risk.

[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7962070]I can’t have a trainer,I’m simply not allowed!You know how many times i got in trouble asking for one?..even tho I haven’t taken lessons doesnt mean I havent picked up some things.So if I say its not saddle fit,please trust me? :)[/QUOTE] How many times did you ask for Cowgirl and Princess? I bet a lot! Now the cart is before the horse, the horse is injured, and you are scared.

Oh, and 2 years of lessons does not qualify you to be a knowledgeable saddle fitter. The horse’s injury is evidence. Can you see that?

[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7962253] Yeah our farrier comes out,in spring and fall yes,to avoid future confusion,we get a farrier!and a vet,and deworm our horses:)should I edit this post?[/QUOTE] :eek: <Headdesk>

[danceronice]

[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7965536]
Well,I don’t want to appear rude.[/QUOTE]

Board culture. If you read around the COTH boards, you’ll see very little text speak, giant paragraphs, or heavy use of emojis.

The only thing that ever worked for me with confidence was riding and handling dead-quiet, bomb-proof, been-there-done-that horses. I actually never got entirely comfortable on my old OTTB, and with Lucky I went for older and manageable instead of ‘prospect’ and looks Plain bay, short, probably wouldn’t hold up to jumping, but lasted five years as a racehorse earning his keep because he has a good brain. Skipped soundness issues, head cases, and horses with obvious medical problems because I did not need my confidence shaken any more than it had been. And this was after having ridden IHSA in college where I took lessons on a horse who had spent most of his life as a show horse and could take a joke. It meant I could work on MY issues without worrying about his having any.

[olddogs]

Even professionals are a little wary when getting on a strange horse for the first time. That little jolt of nerves keeps you alert and helps keep you safe. Still, you have to get on the horse. The more different horses you ride the more confident you will be that you can handle them. Which doesn’t really help you.

If your friends offer to let you ride their horse-do it. If you think they’d put you on one you can’t handle, then they aren’t really your friend-which would be a whole other problem.

Trying to get on Princess out in the pasture, with Cowgirl running around yelling and Princess getting more worked up the longer you stand there wondering whether to get on or not? That’s a different matter.

[Jealoushe]

The way to feel more confident is experience and education under a qualified person to guide you.

Is there a local Pony Club you could join?

A trainer is the answer. You have been told this multiple times. Time to listen.

[Jackie_Cochran]

I first came upon the COTH forum many years ago. There were so many nasty people tearing down anyone who did things differently that I did not come back for several years.

Then I tried it again. It seemed to be better. It is better, at least I thought so until this particular thread started.

As it is, while I would cheerfully recommend that people with a horse question research through the wonderful amount of information here on the COTH forum, going back many years, I would NEVER recommend anyone who is: a beginner, not wealthy, living in the middle of nowhere, an uncertain rider, or in anyway different from a wealthy horse owner, ASK the COTH forum about a problem.

Yes, you can be fortunate and get really good advice, but on the other hand you can get really, really unfortunate and get a train wreck like for this question. It is just so much better to use the search function and follow your nose, I bet that just about every equine question has been answered here, there is no necessity to expose oneself to the vitriol here.

I would never ask this forum help on anything relating to horses, especially since I am not wealthy. Luckily I now have an excellent riding teacher I can ask, but I usually find myself also going back through my books. I have a few books written by horsemen with over 60 years of experience (like Fillis), many more by horsemen with 30, 40, 50 years of experience. It did take me a while to learn how to read these books effectively, but after decades of effort I did learn to find the gems of advice I need.

Thank you COTH forum for existing. I have learned many things on here, especially about tack and riding clothes/boots. I think this forum has probably the biggest accumulation of horse knowledge in the history of the world. I just wish I could recommend it as a forum where a non-perfect horse person can reliably get good advice without being crucified for not being perfect.

[Ambitious_Kate]

Jackie, she’s not being crucified for not being perfect. None of us are perfect. She’s being criticized for not taking the advice she’s asked for and looking for reasons not to follow through. People get irritated with that, and it takes maturity to know the difference between being criticized and being cruicified. Crucified if just plain mean. Criticism is constructive and it may not be fun, but there is a big difference. Nobody is out to be mean, here.

OP I hope you are reading this post I am making here.

If the OP is not confident getting on this horse, its because the horse is acting out being saddled while injured. The OP answered her own question. When the horse is healed, she would do best to have a teacher or trainer standing at the horse’s head guiding her during her early rides bringing this horse back into work. A person on the ground will be invaluable to observe the horse’s responses to having her on her back, and to stay stop, or push through, or “gosh that saddle does NOT fit your horse!!!”. Even an experienced horseperson might need that extra set of eyes. To answer the OP’s question.

That is what will help her work through that confidence problem which has arisen, trying to handle this injured horse. Since she asked.

If she doesn’t want to do what is necessary to make all that happen, once the first rehab rides come around, then nobody has anything to help her with. I think the OP understands that the confidence issue is a normal reaction to seeing how the horse objected to just being saddled when she was sore. Yes, she’s a big animal and can throw alot of questions your way.

OP, when the time comes to ride her again, make sure you are in a small arena with high walls, and you have an experienced horse person working with you to observe you and the horse both and to evaluate your saddle fit.

You still haven’t described what about the saddle fit makes you think the saddle is well fitted. I don’t believe you have saddle fitting experience and can tell if it doesn’t fit well. You may think you do, but I think you need a knowlegable horseperson to walk you through fitting a saddle to your horse.

If you get one, you will be much more confident when you get on her again that if she acts out its not the saddle irritating her, and you can work out with that person the difference between acting out behaviour and pain responses, and then what you may or may not be doing to reassure her in your ride or to worry her.

Good luck. Take the job your parents said you could have at the store and saave your money for a few consultations with a trainer when the time comes. That’s how you solve your confidence problems.

[Bluey]

Our horse that had brucellosis and fistulous withers was sick for long time.
It was long before he was completely sound to ride.
Once he was fine, he was never again sore, but I remember he was out of work for long time with that problem.

I think the OP needs to be sure she healed completely, because they can get very, very sore with that.