Seriously, please investigate why those withers got swollen. There will be a cause.
[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7961544]
Um,yes I know what fistulous withers are 
it is caused by tissue that is damaged,which results in swelling! at least,thats what we call it out here. I shouldnt have a horse? um…ouch…thank you…i feel so great…fyi I am highly qualified to have a horse! @Ambitious Kate![/QUOTE]
Really?
No money, no transportation, no training program, unsupportive parents, unwillingness to get job, horse’s withers explode in pus.
What exactly is your horse getting out of this situation?
The number one creator of confidence is skill (which you do not have).
The number one creator of skill is training (which you will not get).
And round and round we go.
Amazingly, some people wait until they have a job that can support a horse FIRST before they go and get one. If other elements of your life are uncertain or unsupportive then wait until you are in a better situation.
What a concept.
Fistulous withers is an abcess - caused by an injury or most often by an ill fitting saddle. Horses can also get a fistula on their withers from rearing up and falling over backwards onto their withers, or also from rolling on a rock, but less likely the latter and more likely the former.
The abcess can be very deep and it can often take months and months to heal. Often it requires opening up and debriding by the vet.
It is not a ‘swelling’.
@SusieQ Nutter- what does a bike have to do with this I am wondering? I havent been looking for excuses…in case you didnt read my thread,I’m looking for help! 
and her saddle does fit, (its a western saddle,easier to fit) and the lady we got her from (who is an honorable trainer!) said she doesnt have a problem with saddles.why is it life threatening?..all im doing is asking for confidence advice…I’m fine as far as groundwork…I let her know my limits,she respects them…I’m also trying to find more exercises=)any advice?
Try printing out this thread and present it to your parents. Maybe opinions from this many experienced horse people will help. I understand the economic issues and I understand your parents figuring, you got the horse, why can’t you be happy just “playing” with your 1000 pound toy. And many horse people constantly get the question “You’ve been riding for years, why do you need lessons still?”, so parents that are non horsey probably really don’t understand.
Do you keep the horse at home?
If you were my daughter, I would best react if you came to me with a solid plan, such as: Finding a local barn where you could work for lessons, on their schoolies to start. Emphasize how much you could also learn about horsekeeping that way, making care of your own horse at home work better. My child presenting me with a well thought out plan always worked better with me than “I want” or “I need” and asking me to solve the problem. Plus you are showing a work ethic and initiative.
I’d love to give you a quick fix for lack of confidence, but since I have been struggling with that for the past 5 years on my babysitter horse, I can’t. However, patient work with my trainer has me cantering again, which I hadn’t done since I fell off and ended up in the hospital.
Oh @ambitious Kate- yes i know its an abscess. I appreciate you filling me in…but that is what I meant…usually out here we say ‘swelling’…
[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7961441]
Thanks…but I’m also not allowed to get a job!Or,if i want to,its only allowed to be at a store that i DONT want to work at[/QUOTE]
If you don’t want to work at a store enough to feel confident on your horse (which you said you were desperate to do), sell the horse. Use that money to take lessons on your QH.
Also, why are you wanting the horse to trot when you run along side it? Just curious.
@flowersmom2 thank you!yes it is at home. Ok glad someone has suffered with this lack of confidence,and I’m glad you are cantering again!thats great!keep on also,every time i work with her,I feel myself become more confident…i also feel like its goin to come in time:)i appreciate your kind answer!
The bike is an alternative transportation to a job. Some of us old timers knew it as the only way!
[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7961560]
Oh @ambitious Kate- yes i know its an abscess. I appreciate you filling me in…but that is what I meant…usually out here we say ‘swelling’…[/QUOTE]
Ok, usually I wouldn’t argue with this kind of ignorance but OP, there isn’t a “part of the world” relationship to the terms people use for a fistula. Anywhere in the world, a fistula is not a “swelling”, Its an abcess - an abcess is often not swollen. Its a huge pocket full of pus. The only time it “swells” is when the pocket of pus is so big it is going to burst out of the skin. Calling it a swelling is minimizing the seriousness of this injury.
It was caused by a pooly fitting saddle. I have never ever seen a horse have a fistula on the withers from anything except a poorly fitted saddle. Its rare that a fistula would form for other reasons, so I hope your horse, which has a severe problem, is going to be alright, and your saddle will be fitted to her correctly. Forget it.
[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7961555]
@SusieQ Nutter- what does a bike have to do with this I am wondering? I havent been looking for excuses…in case you didnt read my thread,I’m looking for help! and her saddle does fit, (its a western saddle,easier to fit) and the lady we got her from (who is an honorable trainer!) said she doesnt have a problem with saddles.why is it life threatening?..all im doing is asking for confidence advice…I’m fine as far as groundwork…I let her know my limits,she respects them…I’m also trying to find more exercises=)any advice?[/QUOTE]
Exercises for what? If you are fine with groundwork, and she respects your space, then what do you want to work on? You say you are an experienced horse person, what then scared you about this horse?
A Western saddle isn’t necessarily easier to fit. You can’t just pad up to make it fit, either.
Why can’t you work with the lady that sold her to you? If she’s an honorable trainer, she should be glad to help you.
My suggestion? If you are unable to take lessons or work with a competent trainer…either sell this horse and buy something older and more seasoned (confidence builder and forgiving of mistakes), or sell your horse and invest that money into regular lessons to gain experience and boost your skill set to better prepare you for independent horse ownership in the future.
One reason that you don’t feel confident with this horse is because you have limited experience, particularly on different horses. So any new horse that you get on will feel foreign. I’ve been riding for 31 years, but typically have one primary mount at a time, and even with years of experience I still feel out of place on a new horse for the first few rides. This is where regular lessons will help you…you can further your education AND ride different horses, which will help make you a better rider.
It’s not a matter if you “are good enough.” You have some saddle time but very little formal education to fall back on when you have a riding or training issue. There is nothing wrong with that…we have ALL been there at some point. But, the way you deal with the situation is critical. You are not currently equipped to deal with the situation at hand, and it does not seem like your parents are knowledgeable enough about horses to made an educated assessment of “good enough.” Riding and horsemanship is a lifelong study and practice, and the best thing you can do for your horse is to continue your education. To fail to do so is a disservice to the horse.
[QUOTE=Ambitious Kate;7961578]
Ok, usually I wouldn’t argue with this kind of ignorance but OP, there isn’t a “part of the world” relationship to the terms people use for a fistula. Anywhere in the world, a fistula is not a “swelling”, Its an abcess - an abcess is often not swollen. Its a huge pocket full of pus. The only time it “swells” is when the pocket of pus is so big it is going to burst out of the skin. Calling it a swelling is minimizing the seriousness of this injury.
It was caused by a pooly fitting saddle. I have never ever seen a horse have a fistula on the withers from anything except a poorly fitted saddle. Its rare that a fistula would form for other reasons, so I hope your horse, which has a severe problem, is going to be alright, and your saddle will be fitted to her correctly. Forget it.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, when I call the vet and say, “My horse’s leg is swollen,” that means a completely different thing from “an abscess.”
One situation is cold hosing, rest, perhaps ultrasound and xray, other situation is lancing/draining, SMZs, Epsom salt, warm water…
I have also never seen a fistulous wither in person because in general you have to SERIOUSLY fk sht up to create one.
What has happened to Cowgirl?
groundwork:) haha i want to work on everything!to bond with her,get to know her more and i ahem never said i was experienced. Also,I never would pad it up to make it fit!that would make it worse!!!a western saddle is supposed to fit withOUT a saddle pad! and that lady is busy with other horses,plus,she lives farther away!she doesnt have all the time in the world…and I’m not even sure if she’d even like to do lessons
she’s still here I like riding her,she’s got the spirit 
and she’s my horse,so its a pleasure riding her
ok guys im sorry…just was saying wat my vet had told me and the terms he used.Sorry
thanks for your kind reply @flypony74 yeah in March I will have the chance to work with a trainer!can NOT wait til then :)and til then,probably groundwork and bonding with my horse:)
[QUOTE=Wish_Upon_a_Star2000;7961590]
she’s still here I like riding her,she’s got the spirit and she’s my horse,so its a pleasure riding her[/QUOTE]
You’ve ridden her …twice.
In two years.
ETA:
Wait, hang on, I just realized OP has not just one, but two horses.
My favorite thing in the WORLD is when people have “no money for training” because they have so many horses they can’t provide a proper situation for any of them.
I could have 10 horses for the price of one if I kept them all in a muddy field with a barb wire fence and 2 flakes of extra hay per day and never put shoes on and didn’t bother with saddle fit or providing them proper training or educating myself. Amazingly though if you cut down on the number of horses on your tab and focus on the quality of care provided you might have a saddle that fits well enough that you don’t actually injure your horse and you might have enough left over to actually get some training, and not be standing in the field going why is my horse’s back oozing and btw I’m scared to get on.
