Practical Protection for Private Parts - or - "Get Thee to a Nunnery"

[Inverness]

Last night I made the mistake of taking a lesson with Kennett Square – wearing jeans.

Now, I don’t know about the rest of you, but if I were to make this a habit, I could end up divorced.

I’ve preliminarily concluded that in order to ride in jeans one must meet one or more of the following criteria:

1. celibacy;
2. enjoyment of masochistic sexual practices;
3. insensitivity (also known as “numb nuts” in gender-specific terms);
4. imperviousness to pain during urination, or, severe dehydration;
5. Employment which does not require one to sit or wear tight pantyhose.

Personally, I don’t qualify. Breeches may show every bulge but, in my view, my sacrificed vanity is a small price to pay for marital bliss.

Just my opinion . . .

[hoopoe]

Dosn’t “BOUNCE” make a schooling tight? Are they any cooler than B&B? I see them in cats for Dressage and 3 day equipment.

What about traditional cotton type jods? Do they even make them anymore?

I have always found boots and breeches much cooler than jeans any day of the week. Then of course everyone knows it rains up here every day of the year and never gets above 60*

[Merry]

Hey, I aims to please!

“I generally avoid temptation… Unless I can’t resist it.” - Mae West

[Brookes]

DESITIN! This is the dressage rider’s cure! Trust me it works, a little messy but no real dressage rider is caught without it! Think of all that sitting trot and in breeches no less! You know who has cool schooling breeches is Equissentials, really comfy, breathable and they don’t have any seams where it counts! Check it out! Poor tussies!

[Smart_Alec]

Plus they come with that cute little bag of carrot seeds!

[Miniwelsh]

isn’t there another brand on the QH circuit too? I can’t remember what they are called, but they have no pockets in the back - a look I despise. They only look good on those blessed with a flat, skinny a$$…unfortunately, that group does not include me!

Oh that VT Rider…Rockies are the ones I am thinking of. It’s another TGFVTR moment!

Behind every good woman lies a trail of men

[Merry]

Hmmm… so, should I wear my TS rust breeches underneath my custom brown schooling chaps at the show this weekend? Or is that just too much “autumnal” coloring?

Hey, I got the dang pair of things, I gotta wear them!

“Charter Member of the Baby Greenie Support Group of North America”

[Cactuskate]

DMK, I think the word you are looking for is more spirited.

“The older I get, the better I used to be.”

[artienallie]

on this subject.

He agrees spirited is a good adjective to use.

As a writer, he also had some other adjectives, but spirited was mentioned here already, so that’s what I’ll stick with.

Beezer, what exactly is Mr. Beezer’s biggest fear? You really don’t want MY imagination running wild!

[HeyYouNags]

But Mr. Studmuffin didn’t understand the question. Plus, I had to remind him about a previous DQ girlfriend. Methinks asking an ex-NFL player about the difference between old flames is like asking your horse which pellets taste better.

Well, thanks for ruining my research project!

But in the “there must be something unique” category: Once when I was looking at new pickup trucks, the salesman got very interested when I told him I needed the truck to pull a horse trailer. It seems one of his ex-girlfriends was a horse rider. That’s the only time a saleman has ever told me to keep taking roads farther and farther away from the shop during the test drive. In addition to offering to sing for me in the truck, he dropped a few not-so-subtle hints about how… special… horsewomen are.

There’s one dealership I won’t be going back to anytime soon!

[ponygrl]

nah. I’m just sore and am off limits right now.

Laura

[creseida]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Everythingbutwings:
in their own way <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Surely you mean infamous in this particular situation…The Inverness Problem; gotta love it!

~<>~ Daedalus built the Labyrinthe, so winding and complicated a structure that no man or beast, once shut inside, could ever find the exit~<>~

[VTrider]

I have ridden in jeans and chaps since Day 1. Got a pair of chaps when I turned three. Wore jeans every day of my life til I enter corporate world.

I don’t wear baggy jeans under chaps (however, they are not tight enough to enforce a camel toe…think back students to a thread this past spring - do we all remember what a camel toe is?)…However, my chaps days will soon be coming to an end as Saturday, I am picking up my half-chaps at Journeyman’s - VTrider is very excited.

Calvin Kleins are great riding jeans (Inverness, go to the White Elephant in Middleburg, that’s where I got all my CK riding jeans for $2/pair!)…

Hmmm…if I don’t want to end up an old, bitter, wrinkled up, single woman like someone else on this BB, should I start riding in my boots and breeches every day?

[This message was edited by VTrider on Aug. 01, 2001 at 10:53 AM.]

[Miniwelsh]

I ride in Tommy jeans with chaps and have never had a problem. When I rode in a pair of Jones NY jeans with my chaps, I developed lovely sores on the inside of both calves - just in time for summer bare legs. My fiance’ walked about three steps everywhere we went for a month.

My Tommy’s are boot leg cut and don’t rub at all - but don’t ever try to ride in an english saddle with jeans and no chaps - YOWCH!!!

Behind every good woman lies a trail of men

[stasha]

Ah, geez. I nearly died of embarrassment just READING this post–with no one else in the room to catch me!!!

And to the one (I forget who at the moment)who mentioned “Dressage Crotch”–it’s also a “Reiner,” and “Trail Rider” problem as well.

What is that odd whistling sound? Oh, heavens! My pencil punched a hole in my forehead!

[Cinco_de_Mayo]

“Levi’s” is the Answer. And I’m a newlywed. tee hee.

I have problems when I wear my On Course Cotton naturals with the size zip: They put monster sized seams in those things!

[Cactuskate]

Too true…and isn’t it interesting how “that time of month” just happens to coincide with those long dressage clinics??? Hey any port in a storm I say.

As I also shared with Inverness, when I first tried my new dressage saddle many years ago, I was riding in my 501 Levi’s, you know the button up kind? One remembers very quickly that the dressage seat is a very “VERTICAL” one. That first posting stride is a killer if you do the hunt seat post!!!

Thanks for the biking attire tip. Sounds logical to me. Talk about an uncomfortable looking “seat”.

You know what Confucious say about woman who rides bike, don’t you? She pedal a$$ all over town.

Sorry, old humor never dies…

“The older I get, the better I used to be.”

[InWhyCee]

I don’t know about other brands! I haven’t even owned a pair of jeans since coming out as a hunt-seat princess way back in the '80s. I haven’t dated a cowboy since (though I WOULD, if you know any)… Yes, all I know is Wranglers, because “he’s one tough customer… built to take it… with looks that make it.”

[AAJumper]

Uh…well, Merry…I’m thinking that there would be some serious color clashing going on with that combo!!! But you know, I did see someone riding in rust breeches at The Oaks (Blenheim) a few weeks ago…although I think it was a guy.

[artienallie]

Very tactful CactusKate.

I’ll have to poll Mr. artienallie tonight - he’s mentioned this subject before…