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Practical Protection for Private Parts - or - "Get Thee to a Nunnery"

Oh man, I rode in my new saddle for the 2nd time last night.

Well, better than the orgasmatron that I tried, but I did some work without stirrups and, well, haha good thing I’m not getting any these days. haha.


Oh dear, need we start a therapy group for Spider?

“If you don’t give me what I want… I will destroy your life.” - Frank Donovan

Your jeans have to be loose or at least very stretchy, and should be made of a soft cotton.


Have also encountered a similar condition - though I was riding in breeches and half chaps. Terribly painful and messy (read blood stains). Tried riding with a pantyliner in the hope that it would ‘address’ the issue. Did not work.

Know that we shrink in height as we age, but do you think other body parts shift, too? I have noticed certain seismic shifts with men…

“Mommy, does it really matter?” - Sumo toddler, age 3

Yup, the jeans, they matter.

Lands End slim cut jeans fit great under my chaps, but I must wear the lovely padded crotch riding panties (so sophisticated) if I do not want to suffer abrasions in the “marital areas” of my body.

Now, my Calvin Klein jeans don’t bother me, but with my toothpick calves I end up wrapping denim around my ankles so I can zip up my chaps.

Oh sigh, the torments I deal with daily.

“Charter Member of the Baby Greenie Support Group of North America”

My innocent ears!!! Your post had me both laughing and crying…the tears are streaming and my co-workers think it’s time to call in the men in white coats!
One question:
Is dressage crotch by any chance related to Camel Toes???
VTRider! Yes, Old Navy jeans are awesome!!!

Oh, dear… If you ever showed on the QH circuit, you know real cowboys (and cowgirls) only wear Wranglers. There’s something about the way the seams are placed… Personally, I can’t find jeans of any brand that will fit my Jennifer Lopez-style butt and wouldn’t wear them riding if I did…It’s princessy breeches or nothing!

Love this thread… reminds of when I took two male, non-riding friends to a schooling show. Aside from wanting to know “How long does this go on?” and “Where’s the bake sale?” they were REALLY fascinated by the male riders, i.e. “Where do they… uhhmmm… uhhh… PUT everything?”

Speak for yourself! Mr. Beezer has had nothing but compliments.

But I admit, I am a tights and half-chaps kinda gal. Maybe that makes the difference?!?!?

Bulletin Board Goddess

I am just going to shield my eyes and pretend I never saw this thread… lordy lordy lordy.

(Although I do want to know the outcome of HYN’s research project! )

Sounds like the title to a soon to be released thriller a la “The Eiger Sanction”

I thought about the possibilities AFTER I posted.

“The Inverness Problem” sounds a little like a spy novel to me…

“Why can’t someone design decent, padded underwear for female equestrians?”

There were three of us in the lesson wearing the current offerings on the market: Granny pants that almost eek their waistband above that of our breeches, plus they feel about like you’re wearing a diaper.

“If you don’t give me what I want… I will destroy your life.” - Frank Donovan

If the thought of the COTH BB’ers providing therapy wasn’t such a terrifying thought, I’d agree with you Merry…

[I]"You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty. "

  • Sacha Guitry (1885-1957) *[/I]

That’s a negatory, Flash… Oh wait… I’m the one who is still single… never mind.

I must say that I have had the dreaded Dressage Crotch (Inverness are you happy with me? ) But my worst case came from a new pair of breeches. New breeches, thong, hot muggy day, major work on sitting trot and cantering 8m circles. Desitin and baby powder are my friend! Interesting call to work the next day…“Hmmm, I can’t come in, my, ummm, tummy, Yeah! My tummy hurts and I can’t walk.” Lucky for me my boss didn’t press further.

On the OTHER topic of discussion, I have it on a couple of good authorities that female riders build certain muscles, and can, um, contract those muscles in such a way that non rider’s can not. No further explanation forthcoming.


“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” -Douglas Adams ‘The Restaurant at the End of the Universe’

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MissXani:
DMK, are you just going to TAKE that from her?!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh hell, she KNOWS I don’t get mad, I just get even…


I object to my lessons being called a mistake!! It isn’t my job to dress you for riding…LOL Why some of the outlandish outfits you do come up with make me afraid to ask what in heavens name is that all about? If you think last night was hard, it’s now going to be even worse this evening… Let’s see… bareback in polyester shorts( with a lovely hooters top to go with it) doing an extended posting trot…Anyone want to wager some money here at how long the Precious Pumpkin stays on???

Now you can ask any other of my students if they’ved had problems with riding in jeans and I think not too many have. I know MizzWade, for one, didn’t and even if she did she was ( and is ) always the profession A/O and would never whine about it. But for some reason she has a penchant for wanting to sue me… After all those glorious rides on the origninal KS…Big Sign. I think if she keeps being Sassy/Lippy like this I might have to go find a Claudio clone for her. NO more military men. But I agree with Wingsie, I grew up riding in jeans so I think I became immune to any pain because of that.

Yep. Keritts are the way to go. Besides being cooler that any other tights, jeans, breeches imaginable they are also the most comfortable.
I don’t wear anything else anymore (pants I mean ) and haven’t had a “problem” since.

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by InWhyCee:
Oh, dear… If you ever showed on the QH circuit, you know real cowboys (and cowgirls) only wear Wranglers. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Men = Wranglers and Cinch
Ladies = Rockies, Cruel Girl or Lawman’s

I am a closet QH Queen