Pregnant riders support group? :)

[rugbygirl]

[QUOTE=Heineken;8167253]
Oh…the best was the friend who asked if I was excited to buy maternity clothes…is anyone REALLY excited about that?[/QUOTE]

No. They are almost impossible to find for tall women (here, apparently there are more choices in the US.) Jeans with a 30" inseam. Super.

I totally get the depression. It gets better I took some pre-natal yoga and we usually had a talk before the session, and my biggest source of anxiety was the rapid change in my body. I had always been an athlete…and I couldn’t tell where my “edges” were from day to day. Yoga was nice, and I am not a yoga person outside pregnancy.

You’ll be a bit wobbly when the baby is born, and very busy learning what you need to know… But you can get back into your life relatively quickly. It will still be there time crawls those last few months, I know! You’re almost there.

[drmgncolor]

@Nickelodian;8167243

MSCHO - don’t feel badly about your vent, if anything the people here can actually get it. When I start down this path with either my non-pregnant horse friends or pregnant non-horse people, neither get it. period.

I get it. I totally get it. If I didn’t want a kid, I would have prevented this pregnancy (even though we were told by Duke specialists that I would likely never conceive on my own again), but that still doesn’t mean that I have to be all giddy and excited about the changes taking place with my body.

I spent the first 3 months in a depression. I was terrified of losing the pregnancy, yet even more terrified of keeping it. Talk about an emotional rollercoaster.

[Heineken]

[QUOTE=
I probably won’t see my poor horses at all once the baby his here, haha. Hubby keeps insisting that we can take turns watching the baby but I don’t think he quite understands how this is gonna be. ;-)[/QUOTE]

My hubby says similar things and I keep reminding him he doesn’t have boobs.

[mscho]

[QUOTE=Heineken;8167122]
MSCHO,

I’m struggling too. I’m older (39) and really love my pre baby life…so there is some mourning going on for that. It kills me to watch others ride my horse even though I know it’s for the best. And I’m terrified of how I will juggle my successful small business that I’ve built through blood, sweat and tears with a baby and “m
e time” at the barn and gym…My husband is wonderful but kind of oblivious of how hard this is for me because his life hasn’t really changed (other than his wife being insane and randomly crying and/or skipping a meal). He’s still off to Crossfit and the gym 4 days a week…and I sometimes am so jealous it hurts.

I am seriously considering an au pair![/QUOTE]

I do LOVE that I can find people to empathize with here, my eternal appreciation to whoever started this thread. I also LOVE my pre pregnancy/child life and find myself mourning what I had already.

My husband has been so great through all of this also, but also pulls crazy eyes when I tell him how much our lives are about to change. They’ll understand soon enough!

I have a great group of non-horsey pregnant friends, who have been awesome to go through pregnancy with (misery loves company, no?), but I’ve also realized that none of these women have any hobbies outside of the home, and they can’t understand why I’m not overly excited for baby to come (ok, I’m excited for her to come, but mostly so she’ll remove herself from my kidney area and I can get my body back). These are the women who are excited to buy maternity clothes, I swear.

We do have a couple house projects on the go, I haven’t been overly successful at helping out but I think maybe it’s time I up the painkillers and try to get a bit more invested in them.

I’m so sorry you’re all feeling like this also, although it’s beyond helpful to have others to empathize with. It’s tough being so invested in my life and hobbies, especially when my goals never really included bearing spawn.

[mscho]

[QUOTE=Heineken;8167436]
My hubby says similar things and I keep reminding him he doesn’t have boobs.[/QUOTE]

I’m investing in a GOOD breast pump and pumping like crazy so I can up and leave husband with some frozen milk and his spawn. I figure this will get me an hour or two of ponies in before I need to be milked again…

I’m also looking for a sitter starting 2 months ago…

[Nickelodian]

[QUOTE=drmgncolor;8167408]
I get it. I totally get it. If I didn’t want a kid, I would have prevented this pregnancy (even though we were told by Duke specialists that I would likely never conceive on my own again), but that still doesn’t mean that I have to be all giddy and excited about the changes taking place with my body.

I spent the first 3 months in a depression. I was terrified of losing the pregnancy, yet even more terrified of keeping it. Talk about an emotional rollercoaster.[/QUOTE]

my second ding ding ding of the day.

My husband said “I have no idea how to support a person who both wants this and doesn’t want it so badly that the two sides are killing her from the inside.”

[drmgncolor]

[QUOTE=Nickelodian;8167628]
My husband said “I have no idea how to support a person who both wants this and doesn’t want it so badly that the two sides are killing her from the inside.”[/QUOTE]

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner.

I would like to think this line of thought is more common than talked about. Or maybe I had just come to terms over the years that I wasn’t supposed to have children and therefore am having a difficult time emotionally adjusting to the change. Or maybe it’s totally hormonal. Or maybe us horse women really are different.

At any rate, my family and friends are still more excited than I am. And that’s OK for now, I think.

[serendipityhunter]

I’m 7 months in after having my first at 41. The first few months were really hard for me but it has gotten so much better and I have been able to balance baby, full time career and the horse. I don’t ride as much but make sure I ride 1-2 times a week. I savor and enjoy my time at the barn and love to bring my daughter with me during times when I just want to groom or say hi to my horse. I was on the fence about having a baby but I am so in love with my daughter and can’t wait to share my love of horses with her.

[mscho]

I couldn’t agree with all of this any more. I’m so glad I’m not alone in this train of thought.

Serendipity hunter - thanks for some insight into after the fact. It really helps.

[Heineken]

I really wish I was wealthy enough to have a surrogate…the pregnant part sucks.

[Fergs]

The ambivalence, fear, and worry are totally normal! And so is the upset over losing your body (for the duration of pregnancy, anyway), as well as the life you had before. Pregnancy is often the hardest part, but thankfully it doesn’t last forever!

As it happens I rode my horse for the first time today, and it was AWESOME! Hang in there, ladies! You’ll be back to fine form in no time – plus you’ll have your perfect little foals to love on.

[Small_Change]

I checked in way back towards the start of this thread, and have been intermittently following since. Baby arrived a whole month early, April 18, which was a bit of a shock for her Dad and I, since we’re both very much planners and she tossed the plan out the window. She had 10 days in the Special Care Nursery for a bit of extra TLC, and is doing fabulously now. For those of you in the home stretch, here’s a bit of hope - although I’m not riding nearly as much as I was prior to pregnancy and baby (I stopped riding at 20 weeks to be cautious, at the advice of my OB), I was back in the saddle 10 days post birth, and jumping within 2 weeks. I have been very pleasantly surprised to find that although I’m lacking in fitness (I can feel it after a good flat session on one horse, whereas I used to be able to ride a couple every day with no twinges), I still have my balance and haven’t forgotten how to ride. My mare, and the lovely greenie I get to ride, both remember everything they learned before they went on their 4 month break, and we just picked up where we left off.

Baby does eat up a lot of the hours in a day, but my time with her is pretty special. All she wants from me right now is love, snuggles and her meals, and I am happy to be at her beck and call. It’s funny going from being always on the go, with horses, a farm, and a challenging career, to allowing my day to be dictated by a tiny person, but it is also its own kind of incredibility rewarding fulfillment.

And now please indulge a proud Mommy - baby picture! at about 9 days old, just prior to coming home, and at one month. She just made it to “average” newborn size and cracked the 7 lb mark!

[Barn_Dirt]

Congrats Small Change, she’s beautiful! And she’s going to be one lucky little girl, I can only imagine the ponies you’ll have lined up for her

[drmgncolor]

[QUOTE=Fergs;8167833]
The ambivalence, fear, and worry are totally normal! And so is the upset over losing your body (for the duration of pregnancy, anyway), as well as the life you had before. Pregnancy is often the hardest part, but thankfully it doesn’t last forever!

As it happens I rode my horse for the first time today, and it was AWESOME! Hang in there, ladies! You’ll be back to fine form in no time – plus you’ll have your perfect little foals to love on.[/QUOTE]

Thanks for checking in Fergs. You’ve been on my mind so it’s good to hear you are doing well.

@Small Change;8168304

And now please indulge a proud Mommy - baby picture! at about 9 days old, just prior to coming home, and at one month. She just made it to “average” newborn size and cracked the 7 lb mark!

Congrats. What a beauty!

[ilmjumper]

[QUOTE=drmgncolor;8167408]
I get it. I totally get it. If I didn’t want a kid, I would have prevented this pregnancy (even though we were told by Duke specialists that I would likely never conceive on my own again), but that still doesn’t mean that I have to be all giddy and excited about the changes taking place with my body.

I spent the first 3 months in a depression. I was terrified of losing the pregnancy, yet even more terrified of keeping it. Talk about an emotional rollercoaster.[/QUOTE]

This is me. Like 100%. Always been told there was a slim chance of getting preg after some medical issues AND we were super careful. I’m at (hold on, lemme check cause I don’t keep track of that very well either…but ask me how many days til the International that I now don’t get to show at) 22 weeks…I’m slowly, slowly getting more excited and less depressed. Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of having a kid…I hate being pregnant, I hate the timing of this pregnancy the most. So glad to hear I’m not alone in failing to love every blasted second of this.

[Nickelodian]

[QUOTE=ilmjumper;8168463]
This is me. Like 100%. Always been told there was a slim chance of getting preg after some medical issues AND we were super careful. I’m at (hold on, lemme check cause I don’t keep track of that very well either…but ask me how many days til the International that I now don’t get to show at) 22 weeks…I’m slowly, slowly getting more excited and less depressed. Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of having a kid…I hate being pregnant, I hate the timing of this pregnancy the most. So glad to hear I’m not alone in failing to love every blasted second of this.[/QUOTE]

ilmjumper - you drmgcolor and I are all within days of each other on due date, and all feel the same.

Is yours boy or girl?

[ilmjumper]

Girl! That part I am super excited about…show bows, and ponies, and leadline outfits, and omg I design and sew my own show clothes so lil bit’s gonna have quite a wardrobe lol.

I wonder, do all women that are athletes (or just heavily invested in a hobby) feel like this during pregnancy or is it harder for riders because what we love is so difficult to participate in while pregnant AND viewed so negatively by outsiders as a pregnant activity?

[drmgncolor]

[QUOTE=Nickelodian;8168545]
ilmjumper - you drmgcolor and I are all within days of each other on due date, and all feel the same. [/QUOTE]

I thought the exact same thing when I read her post. I turn 23 weeks tomorrow.

Nickelodian and I are having boys. And we also determined we both have the same first name via PM. WEIRD!

It’s so nice to have fellow horsewoman on this journey with me. Thanks, ladies.

@ilmjumper;8168706

Girl! I wonder, do all women that are athletes (or just heavily invested in a hobby) feel like this during pregnancy or is it harder for riders because what we love is so difficult to participate in while pregnant AND viewed so negatively by outsiders as a pregnant activity?

My father-in-law told my DH when he announced our pregnancy that he was actually relieved my mare was lame and out of commission. But I can’t say that I blame him. With our first pregnancy back in 2008, we actually found out about our miscarriage because I was in a riding accident at 13 weeks pregnant. The accident didn’t cause the miscarriage, but it sure has made me a bit more cautious this time around. I haven’t been on a horse since about 13 weeks and even then I was only doing light work. I did finish out the ski season though and even then I skied much slower and more cautious. I kept my distance from any and all trees and pretty much anyone else on skis or a board.

[Heineken]

I’m 25 weeks and also having a boy!

[Fergs]

[QUOTE=Small Change;8168304]

And now please indulge a proud Mommy - baby picture! at about 9 days old, just prior to coming home, and at one month. She just made it to “average” newborn size and cracked the 7 lb mark! :D[/QUOTE]

She’s so cute! Congratulations!