[QUOTE=GoForAGallop;7412385]
I am going to try and attempt to say this in a way that doesn’t sound too harsh…but you have a very childish and fairytale view of how your interaction with horses needs to go. You should not love the “risk” of horses…you should take it very seriously, be aware of it, respect it, and then proceed on with your life.
People who overplay the “bond” that they need with their horses are the people who honestly usually end up with unsuitable horses, and get hurt by said unsuitable horses. Because they DON’T pick the suitable, well-broke horse, and instead pick the rangy, half-broke stallion that’s been sitting in a field for two years with a rearing problem because they have a “bond” with him.
You can have a bond with any horse. Seriously. While he is not suitable for beginners, I have one of those all-business geldings. I have had him for ten years and he will still occasionally seem “cold” to me. But I have learned to appreciate his personality and I absolutely love him to pieces. And he shows his affection in very slight ways, and I know that he always “has my back”, as it were, in tough situations.
I have a pony mule who is like a big puppy dog, he wants to be with me all day every day and wishes he could ride to work in the car with me. I also have a young TB mare who whinnies for me the second she hears my car pull into the driveway, and everyone always ooh’s and ahh’s over how bonded she is to me.
But who do I trust? Who would I get on if I were not feeling well or was having a bad day? The stoic gelding. The other two are great for a snuggle, and I do love them for their own beings, and do think I’m “bonded” to them. But I love my gelding and his quiet, calm personality best. Even if I do not get the ooh’s and ahh’s from spectators about how he “must really love me.”
I’m also going to gently suggest, since you mentioned that you turned to horses because of problems, that you speak to a therapist about your need to “rescue” things. I have a feeling that it extends past horses, and this desire to rescue and repair has a place in ALL your relationships. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to rescue things (I have that personality trait as well), but you need to understand where that drive comes from, and how it can negatively effect you. (Not being able to let go in certain situations, choosing an inappropriate horse just for the sake of rescuing something, etc.)[/QUOTE]
Well said.
You would not believe how nice practically all horses are if you give them a chance, even the dull and quiet ones that don’t make your life around them dangerous, even those that didn’t need to be rescued.
All and any, if you pay attention, have their own interesting personalities.
Don’t kid yourself, practically every horse out there is listening to you, because you are what their world is all about when you are with them, you have a captive audience in them, we may say.
From the moment we come into sight of any horse, they have measured us up and then act according to what they read in us.
Learn to respond to that with the way you move and look at them and pay them attention and listen to what they are saying back and you will find then all very interesting.
Now, if you want to do special tasks with your horse, jump, work cattle, trail ride, race, whatever that is, then you have to look for that also in the horses you want to work with.
Try not to make your focus on what you want in a horse too narrow and they will surprise you.