Any video?
Yeah. If this stays her horse, she will either learn to ride or learn to not enjoy riding. I was a solid adult rider. This one would have sucked the life out of me.
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I think if she’s going around larger fences with a pro with no issues, it’s less likely to be physical. I have 100% ridden this type before, and if you tip your weight onto their forehand at the last second or ask them to leave too long, they will absolutely tell you “No way” in the strongest terms possible. This is often a careful horse that doesn’t want to touch a pole and is used to being carefully managed to the base. In other words, this may be a bad match.
In your place, I’d be really honest about how I feel riding such a horse. It can make you gritty, or it can make you really doubt yourself. It can even be scary, and that’s completely valid.
I’m not riding massive tracks these days, but even at 1.20m (heck, even at .80 lol) I want to know my horse is going to get me to the other side of the fence. After back surgery last year, I’m not feeling as indestructible as I did in my 20s. My husband and I import and sell horses regularly, and the top criteria I look for is a horse that doesn’t require such a careful ride. If you’re missing badly, it’s one thing for a horse to stop for self-preservation, especially once the fences get larger. But for small fences, they should stuff one in or take a joke. It may mean you get a rail, but I’d rather get a rail I deserve then end up planted in a fence.
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I would guess you’re taking your leg off and leaning at the longish spot because you still don’t trust your own eye. So you ride to the jump on a certain rhythm, pace and length of stride and then… you essentially stop riding. So the horse perceives you’ve lost the plan and she stops.
You’ve discovered she is not a packer who will just keep going and jump on her own.
Also, when you say ammies leased her previously and did great with her, keep in mind there are ammies and then there are ammies who ride as well as many professionals.
If I were you with this horse, I’d focus on ground poles and then those little crossrails until you can ride confidently to each one, maintaining a connection with your mare to, over and onto the track on the landing side of the smallest of obstacles. You need to know where you are in relation to the “jump” every step of the way. Otherwise you will train your mare to stop the moment you hint at an indecision. It may take time, but you will become a better rider and have a more solid relationship with your new horse.
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Excellent post! I think the OP is a bit overhorsed at the moment. With time and little ego, this could work out well for both. Good luck to OP!
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Yeah I leased a horse like this for a year and a half. He unquestionably made me a more skilled and accurate rider over fences and I’m grateful for that, but I didn’t realize how much of the fun it had sucked out of jumping until I got a different—and much more forgiving, bless her kind and honest soul—ride. I’m an extremely average AA and knowing he’d stop if I didn’t give him the exact right ride just made it so stressful. So, there’s pros and there’s cons.
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Thanks all! I feel like I should clarify that the stop has only happened 3 times in the 4 months I’ve had horse. Happened one of the very first time I jumped and then when I saw the long one and did the things I devscribed. Horse is otherwise forgiving—I have chipped, gotten left behind, etc and horse doesn’t hold a grudge. It surprised me when it happened bc the jumps were so small relative to her scope.
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I read your post and laughed because she sounds just like my friends mare. She’ll put up with a few dumb mistakes, and she will take care of you in a bad situation, but there are times when she flat out refuses to go along with a bad ride. If it happens during a lesson the rest of us know to wait on the rail because the trainer is going to send them through again.
Yeah I’ve had some horses like this before. But it never hurts to get them checked out. Had to retire my 20+ year old tb recently who in the 15 years I’ve owned him took every kind of bad jump in the world happily, ears forward. He started having really rough stops and at first I thought okay he’s getting old and the kid is riding bad but I noticed his eyes looking cloudy when I saw them in the dark 
poor guy.
But it’s easier to spot these things when you’ve known the horse for a long time. I’ve also met a lot of horses that just have their things they don’t like or are just not so amatuer friendly. Or it’s not even that they’re not amateur friendly, they just don’t tolerate certain types of mistakes.
I have another horse I’ve owned for 10+ years who I think is the safest horse in the world he never ever spooks at absolutely anything, will take 3 bareback riders at a time, kind as can be, and as long as you’re going at a good pace will jump absolutely anything, bad distance, big spooky jump, whatever. But if you have one of those anxious death grips and get up ahead, he will always stop even at a xrail. And he’s just always been like that. I think because he’s a big, chunky, forward horse with big feet and loud movement people sometimes think they’re going faster than they are and get scared and stress him out. They’ll be pulling with their life and adding 3 strides to a line thinking they’re getting run away with. Nervous adult amateur types he does not do well with, but for kids or amateurs who are not so intimidated by him and want to win jumper classes he’s excellent, will be perfect anywhere from the .65s - 1.10s. When he’s had issues in the past with people I’ve tried schooling him but it doesn’t matter, he’ll always just be perfect for me and stop when you hold too much. And its not that you can’t add strides or things like that, you just have to have some energy behind it. So you don’t really have to be awesome and super accurate for him, but you do have to want to go a little.
So idk it could be a lot of things causing your horse to stop with you. I’m sure your trainer is working really hard to figure it out and if you trust this person and think they care about you and your horse just try to do what they tell you to.
Now whether or not I should respond is debatable 
because I’m not a jumper. Have I jumped? Yes, but not much and not very high. I mostly ride Western.
But I felt the need to chime in, at least on the sensitivity of the horse. Should this horse be going over the jump no matter what you do up there? Yes, in a perfect world, the horse should. But the horse doesn’t so you have what you have in front of you.
Use this horse to make yourself a better rider. Take it as a challenge to up your skills! This horse will tattle on you if you mess up. (by refusing the jump) So do your best not to mess up. 
My barrel racing horse is the same way. This was my 4th year with her and maybe I’ve finally figured out how to do things right. (slow learner???) I’ve picked up things along the way, knowing that if my hand is too high in the turn, then her head comes up. Or if I don’t sit quietly at the first barrel, she gets a few strides past it. My newest (and maybe best) epiphany came about a month ago when I humbly realized that I am still continuing to get in her way and that I literally just need to sit there and do nothing. She literally does not need me to make a barrel run. She knows what to do. So I just need to ride to the turn, sit down, literally leave my hand on her neck, and just “look” with my shoulders and head where to go.
And guess what? She gave me 3 of the most beautiful runs she has ever had in 4 years when I finally just trusted my horse and did what she needed me to do. Sit there - do nothing - look where we were going. And now I crave to achieve that with my 4-yr-old mare I’m currently training. She is “feely” too so I have no doubts she will be the same. So I’m very thankful the light bulb has finally come “on” with what I need to do with my current mare, and I can put that to work on my young one too.
The sensitive ones might not be easy, but they dang sure make you a better rider.
So! I know that doesn’t necessarily answer your question, but think of the opportunity you have with this horse! She is going to dang sure keep you accountable because she’ll let you know when you mess up. Don’t get frustrated about it but USE the OPPORTUNITY!
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THIS! 1000% I own a tattle tale. He is the most lovely horse but such a tactful ride. I enjoy the process and have an excellent trainer.
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Get yourself a neck strap, and pull against that coming into your jump. That tip really helped me keep my body up & back when I had a bad leaning habit. Great mare will teach you lots!
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Maybe, and the younger OP is the better chance it might actually do that. Just as likely, and the older the more likely, it will suck the confidence out of OP and possibly the sport.
Many former upper level horses are not tolerant of Ammy jokes and miscues. Its not because they were “ trained that way”, it is the way they are. Maybe why they ended up with a pro or exceptional Junior/AO ride.
Sounds like OP bought a Pro ride at best, stopper at worst and certainly not willing to help her out or cover for her mistakes. Not uncommon for some trainers not to share such details when selling a 1.4m horse to an ammy not proficient at that height or with horses regularly performing at that level. Plus, horses that are at that level typically sell there unless there is a problem. Maybe just stepping down due to age, more likely a hard sell to regulars there.
Whoever mentioned a similar situation with a former upper level horse from mismatched with new owner ability? Seen that. Alot. Sometimes too much horse, sometimes the horse is pretty much used up and sometimes it does work out.
OP, does your trainer school the horse for you? Over fences higher then what you will jump in your lessons? Can trainer play ammy when schooling to teach the horse what to expect?
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Well, given that the OP added that this has happened only three times in the four months she has had the mare, I don’t think the situation is all that dire. I will add that I’m 54 and I have a horse who will stop if I take my leg off and drop him in front of the jump, so I have learned not to do those things. If I can do it, so can the OP.
Also, horses that expect a particular kind of ride absolutely can make you a better rider. I work really hard and I take pride in how much better I ride now. I feel like I owe it to my horses to always show up for them they way they show up for me- they are not robots, they are living beings and they deserve me to not abdicate responsibility when I get nervous.
Why shouldn’t they expect us to hold up our end of the partnership? Neither of my guys are 100% ammy rides, but I’m an ammy and I’ve figured out how to ride them (with my excellent trainer’s help, of course). I’m the one making them go out and jump over big things, they are generous enough to do it for me, and to me, taking responsibility as a rider means doing my best to ride correctly.
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Plenty of scariness in the jumpers. Not just hunters, to be fair.
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There’s an old saying…s/he who jumps ahead jumps alone. Obviously not unique to this horse
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But how about the other old saying “throw your heart over the fence, the horse will follow!” 
I misinterpreted that for the longest time 
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I’ve always thought that meant I should have the intent of going in every fiber of my being. If my horse feels my hesitation…
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Yeah I don’t think that means to throw your chest first
Horses can definitely sense our intention. Including if you are not really committed to a decision.
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Don’t forget “Those who look down end up on the groun(d)!”
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