This. The world would be a much better place if everyone could just do this.
I love COTH (obviously, or I wouldn’t have stuck around here for nearly 25 years now!), but posters here can absolutely be cruel bullies at times. I have a good friend who once - back in the days of answering machines - received multiple DEATH THREATS from posters here because of an entirely false narrative posted by a young woman looking to make herself famous.
And suicides in the queer community that likely would not have happened had the person been accepted, not bullied. I don’t think you can just wipe your hands and say “chemical imbalance!” when it comes to suicide.
Social media has a way of getting into your head that day-to-day interactions do not. They needle, they keep coming, they’re untraceable and often exponential. They do not drift away as the day goes on, but remain ready and available for review… again and again and again.
That’s not to say that any one comment or commenter on social media is to “blame”, but I’m not ready to let the entirety of social media off the hook in a growing mental health crisis. But I also think lack of housing, food, and financial stability can make or break one’s willingness to “go on”.
The client call-outs were weird, but there’s an obvious difference in customer service woes and terrorizing someone online. I think you all know that too, and are being a bit harsh in some of your responses, which seems a bit untoward in this particular thread.
I find it amusing that we have threads, tens of thousands of posts long, aimed at people with clear mental health issues that we’re not going to label as bullying because it was widely accepted. Kanarek, Shearer, Peronace?
Nah, not bullying…
Maybe people don’t realize the extent that some people get bullied.
Are you talking about those three bullying others? Because that is very true. All three of them seem to 100% enjoy bullying people to get their way.
I never said they weren’t guilty of lots of wrong doings.
What I said was 1) clearly they have mental issues and 2) there are posts thousands long of a proper COTH dog piling on the person with mental health issues.
The irony isn’t lost when someone who participated in several of those then wants to jump up on a soap box and say that me commenting on this topic is ironic. There’s lots of irony here, because this whole forum generally doesn’t beat around the bush. Some of us are more blunt than others. I’m like this in real life, too - this isn’t an internet persona. If this were a sunshine and rainbows forum, I’d have left already. I come here for real opinions, not compliments.
BN is disgusting. Remember when she publicly ridiculed a CHILD for her behavior (crying, confused, disoriented) after falling off.
So sorry for the family and friends of BG.
You’ve never been the brunt of bullying, then.
There’s a podcast recently released on Equestrian Voices featuring Natalie Hummel that explores the Polyvagal Theory - Natalie does a good job explaining the different functions of your nervous system and how it feeds your mental and phyical body. I’d encourage anyone to listen to it. Whether or not you subscribe to the principles behind the theory is a personal choice, but I do think it’s a good conversation starter and helps us to understand the depths of mental health disorders.
I think it’s important mental health disorders continue to be researched and explored open-mindley and with curiosity because there seems to be an uptick. I don’t have the answers, but my inbox is always open if anyone is struggling.
I wish I could anonymously take such a test to see what the score would be if I felt I could answer honestly. Maybe there is one online, but then there wouldn’t be someone involved to tell me that it was the worst score they’ve seen. Considering how often in the last year I’ve considered suicide, I call BS on the folks saying that words don’t make anyone commit suicide. Maybe words don’t make anyone who is in their right mind and not terminally ill kill themselves. I do believe that family and friends should feel a bit responsible when they have decided to turn their back on someone and that person kills themself. (Should I ever go that route I picture my sister saying, "It had nothing to do with me, we hadn’t spoken in years.)
I’m sure this won’t be popular, but I’m on the verge of blocking laurierace and endlessclimb from what I’ve read so far, so 
I’m just going to reiterate right now something I said earlier on this thread
Look, many people have had their lives impacted by bullying, depression and suicide. It’s understandable that there are many perspectives on these issues, and people have deep feelings about it. This thread is about a specific person’s recent death. There are people who were close to him who are grieving, and undoubtedly dealing with excruciating pain as they think about any number of things that preceded this tragedy. So maybe we can all try to just be mindful of this during any discussions.
I’m a psychiatrist and this is incorrect. People kill themselves for a multitude of reasons but there is usually an inciting event. Bullying, without question, can trigger suicidal behavior. For those of you with the good fortune never to have experienced depression, it’s easy to make judgements. But this is a devastating, painful, dreadful disease w/ about 15% lifetime mortality rate from suicide, according to nih. The really sad thing is that most people who have survived serious suicide attempts, almost always regret the attempt. I had a patient once, young, handsome man who jumped from a bridge w/ every intention of ending his life. He survived, w/ devastating injuries, but he told me on the way down he realized he made a mistake. Be kind, you have no way of knowing the suffering that many people silently endure. Until they kill themselves.
I am not trying to call into question your experience as a psych, but the 15% number is pretty shocking to me and not something I can make sense of with just the number of people I know with depression and the number of people I know who have committed suicide, nor is it something I am readily finding on the internet. I would be interested to read more about that, if you would be willing to share.
to clarify, 20% is the rate in people w untreated depression. https://www.cga.ct.gov/asaferconnecticut/tmy/0129/Some%20Facts%20About%20Suicide%20and%20Depression%20-%20Article.pdf
But you also don’t know that he had “severe mental illness”… are you his physician? Therapist? He could have been teetering on the edge of depression, anxiety, what have you and a circumstance or event pushed him over the edge. Disproving your prior point. In other words, YOU DON’T know! Please stop assuming!!
I strongly suggest you get professional help. Why would you need anonymity on a test as described? It’s OK to be not well, and get help.
People w severe mental illness don’t function well, and it seems this young man was quite functional. it’s inviting to label them -severe mental illness, or mental illness, and that thinking serves to make us feel it couldn’t happen to us. it could happen to any of us. people w mental illness can also be extraordinarily resilient.
How would you feel if you lost your spouse, father, or best friend in such a tragic way and you then came to read this thread about them? I’m really quite speechless with the way this thread has gone and the profound lack of tact exhibited by some.
Also, if you are privy to private information regarding this situation, please do not share it here for the world to read. Please give this family some respect and privacy.
Thank you to those that shared your experiences with Brandon. Im certain his family will appreciate those stories.
We’re going to close this thread as it’s gotten into a general mental health discussion and reaction to some online commentary, which would likely be better discussed separately from a memorial thread for the deceased.
Feel free to start another thread where people can refocus on sharing memories and supporting each other through this loss.
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