I saw those posts about being more appreciative about your barn owner/trainer too and I thought the same as you. We should all be better clients but that is not relevant to this situation. He didn’t do what he did because someone hurt him as Bonnie Navin insisted and he certainly didn’t do what he did because his clients didn’t say thank you often enough. If people really want to make a difference we need to fight for better and more accessible mental healthcare.
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I didn’t know Brandon personally but had several conversations in private chat with him over the years. Super kind, funny, light hearted and always wanting to learn something new. Those that were close to him were truly blessed. If there is anyone who I feel truly heartbroken for, it’s his daughter whom he obviously spent a lot of time with horse-showing and travelling with.
I think it is very important to remember that during the shock and pain of such a sudden passing; we are reminded to be there for one another. Reach out to your friends and family and check on them. Be that listening ear.
For those saying that there are hurtful comments being posted after his death. Let me remind you of the hurtful comments once posted about Brandon several years back on this very message board.
It’s the harassment, judgmental commentary that is frequently spewn about on public message boards and social media that can lead to very incidents like this. I will never forget reading those comments and I will never forgive the poster who made them.
As someone who has suffered from immense depression and anxiety my entire life; such incidents can send you into a downward spiral and even ruin your career; even if they are baseless. For those who have never suffered from such a disease; no words can explain the mental strength it takes to climb back out of a dark hole and after awhile; those dark holes become exhausting.
Hug your friends and family and be there for them in times of struggle
I am sorry Brandon. None of us knew what you were struggling with and I know there are so many that think back to pre-Sunday wishing they could’ve been there. I hope you know how much you were treasured.
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How old is his daughter?
LaurieRace; how inconsiderate of you. Being someone myself who has struggled immensely with things posted on this very message board years ago; you clearly don’t understand the consequences of typing behind a keyboard as an internet bully. Plenty of young people take their lives every day due to online bullying. I remember the comments posted here about Brandon and I will never forget them. I am sure he never did either. But I am in no way insinuating that is what led to this.
Now please move along with your misguided and misconstrued ideas about what affects those with mental illness and what doesn’t. You clearly haven’t a clue
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She just turned Pro
Thanks.
I am not in any way excusing the BN post. I do think if people are close to someone, it is very easy to lash out and do the blame game. I am not saying that is what is going on, I am glad the post was removed because no one needs that.
I also bristled at the “clients appreciate your trainer”. No one, repeat NO ONE is singley at fault for when someone else is on the descent of mental health demise. Treat others the way you expect to be treated. If there is a slip up, apologize and do better.
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wow, just. wow. Remember everyone; when they are telling people to be kind to others in wake of this shocking news; they’re not telling you to be kind because apparently words don’t cause people to go to a deep, dark place. They’re telling you to be kind just for the heck of it. Words certainty can’t cause mental distress. 
Shameful, LaurieRace.
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No shame on YOU for trying to blame someone’s illness on the actions of others.
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I am not saying you shouldn’t be kind to people, of course you should. I said words don’t cause mental illness. Feel free to block me
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The actions and lack of empathy of others do affect people.
So yes, I am blaming the actions of others on fueling mental illness in other people.
You all are out of your minds about Bonnie Navins post but you yourselves are clearly no better.
Find some compassion in your heart and start understanding how words; said or typed, affect those around you. You’re poor choice of words and/or actions can absolutely send someone into a downward spiral regardless of your denial.
Do I blame my personal experience with Depression on others; absolutely not. But I can wholeheartedly say with truth and fact that the actions of others and how they treat me and/or what they say can definitely put me in a dark place.
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I would agree that words do not cause mental illness. But I would also say that words can exacerbate mental illness, possibly to the point of suicide. The bullying that some people endure is beyond my comprehension; how can people be that horrid.
And I also agree that there is a huge need for mental health resources in this country. And, perhaps, some may not commit suicide because help, good help, was available.
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I would suggest that you all go research the causes of depression in adults. Start there and educate yourself.
@iberianfan is right and on point with what I am trying to say. Words can most certainly exacerbate mental illness. A root cause, maybe not. But fuel for the fire; absolutely.
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Words can not cause someone to commit suicide.
That’s what everyone here is saying.
I never once said they did. But they can certainly be fuel to the fire for some individuals. Words and hateful comments can certainly put someone in a much darker place than they already are. Hence the Be Kind posts.
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That is exactly what you said.
And I disagree. I believe that words can contribute to the point of suicide. Are they the sole cause? No. The underlying mental illness, coupled with whatever stressors, cause it. I know lots of people with some measure/form of mental illness. Unless something more occurs, suicide is not their answer.
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Also, here.
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You’re literally saying what everyone else is saying, while saying you disagree with them. [Edit]
Suicide is an act of profound mental illness and by definition, self harm.
But it also harms all those connected to that person. The ripples of such an act are heartbreaking.
I have a whole lot of personal experience with dealing with serious depression, both in terms of my own mental health and that of my loved ones. I have been through very good counseling to deal with trauma related to the topic of suicide…
The message I received in counseling over and over and over?
“You are not responsible for always doing and saying the ‘right thing’ in order to prevent your mentally ill loved one from attempting suicide again, or succeeding the next time. It is not your fault that your mentally ill loved one struggles this way. That person is responsible for their own choices. It is ok for you to maintain personal boundaries and live your own life, and make choices that are healthy for you.”
Of course people should be kind to one another, and compassionate and considerate to others who are struggling emotionally. But when it comes to suicide, it is a tragic act of self harm. Period.
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