I remember Maureen Dowd being gross about Monica Lewinsky, too. The misogyny is coming from inside the house.
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OMG - YES. People were AWFUL about Monica Lewinsky. On both sides of the political aisle. So much blatant misogyny.
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Hmm, that seems like a big assumption. If heâs got a problem with young girls he may not see this situation clearly at all.
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I love SS. Huge respect to this young rider and all the others who have come forward, and who are yet to come forward. You are changing the world.
When I read these stories it always makes me think back to being a kid and how my non horsey family fell into the weird culture we have around revering trainers. Somehow they manage to instill this sense of authority that they totally donât deserve. As an adult today I maintain tight control with trainers, they understand who signs the checks and who is working for whom in our relationship. I donât get cozy, I donât become your BFF and I donât check first if I want to lesson with someone else. If they want my money theyâll accept my rules. We let these often uneducated, poorly-socialized people have an undue amount of influence over our emotional and financial lives. I feel for families coming new to the sport who are awed by the atmosphere of the training barn and do not yet realize that you should treat a trainer like any other personnel hired on a consulting basis by expecting them to deliver consistently within the set of expectations you have laid out for them. Many trainers are really professional, ethical and wonderful to do business with. But, it seems many also get by through creating this cult of personality and fear that makes students vulnerable to abuse. I really hope our sport changes, Safe Sport is a wonderful step in the direction of real change.
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It would sure be nice if someone would come forward and talk about the âotherâ dirty old man trainer in Oregon
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I find this especially interesting as Iâm currently riding with a trainer who is excellent, and instead of building her business off of her name, she chose to call her program a generic name, and has like 5 instructors working for her. They are all on payroll, and a lot of the students donât even know who the owner is. Her business is thriving! And because she is treating it like a true business, not a social club. As a result, she can chose to sell it at some point, or just manage it.
The interesting thing this that she could easily have built the business on HER reputation (which is excellent), like most programs, but chose very specifically to run it a different way. Iâve been incredibly impressed with the whole program.
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It would, wouldnât it? But the problem lies that most people know second hand, and the people who are involved arenât talking, and therefore there is no evidence. I know because I was riding with a trainer who was there at the time it all came down.
The other issue is libel. These people are connected, just as Rich Fellers is, and frankly, I wouldnât want to take any of them on with secondhand knowledge. And even with the open knowledge in the area, clients still flock to them - just like they still do to Paul Vallaire.
This is why I think SafeSport is so important.
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Good to know. I wasnât sure if I should be offended on my parents behalf or not. 
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Very well said.
There have been multiple subtle amd not so subtle references to this particular âelephant in the roomâ in this thread. If people read the thread from the beginning, they can figure it out very quickly.
The forumâs rules are quite clear, and we canât out this guy unless we have firsthand knowledge, and are willing to stand behind it, or there is already a public report of allegations that ran in a news source, or a SafeSport sanction has been published against him, or a legal case pertaining to the situation is part of the public record.
None of those apply to the situation/person I am 99.999% sure you are referencing. The word I heard was that there were confidential settlements involving NDAâs that victims signed.
As far as connections⊠there is a spouse involved in this situation who has multiple USEF committee assignments currently. Frankly, thatâs incredibly problematic if the allegations surrounding private settlements and NDAS are true.
For the record, I am quite literally a totally unconnected, know nothing Mom, who lives in Virginia. Yet⊠even I have heard these rumors about that situation in OREGON. It also was discussed at length on the old HSD siteâŠ
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That is an excellent point regarding the conflict of interest. Wow.
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She sounds fabulous and very smart!
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Yes, you are correct. To make matters worse, in the late 1980âs, both of these people worked for a trainer that was later permanently banned in horse killings for insurance that was such a scandal at the time, and took a lot of people down. Please note that there is nothing tying them to any wrongdoing, but it is a little of who you associate with does rub off. I think the hypocrisy of it has always gotten to me, and the power that the spouse wields on these committees leaves a sour taste behind.
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You sound like a difficult person to work with. A trainer is as much your âemployeeâ as the electrical company is: you pay them for a service, not for servitude.
But itâs OK. They are only poorly-socialised, uneducated serfs. Right?
However! I do agree that Americans tend to place a lot of power in the hands of their trainers. People who show seem unable to purchase horses without trainer input (even permission!), show without their trainers, even boarding in some situations comes with stipulations of horses being in lesson programs.
I get weekly lessons with an instructor. He always gets to bemoan my choice of new nags, and commiserate a crap outcome at a show⊠but thatâs about the extent of it. Iâm an adult - no hand-holding here is required.
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This canât continue. We are discussing the molestation of minors. Apparently many people know all about what this guy has done to their children, but wonât protect other peopleâs children from these predators.
Take the money on the condition that you donât warn others (NDA) that their child may also be molested? How anyone can live in good conscience with that sort of arrangement is beyond me.
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I 100% agree⊠it canât continue this way.
But I dont blame the people that took money 10 (I think it was 10) years ago, and agreed to remain silent about their own abuse. Because they were victims, and they and their parents were trying to pick up the pieces as best they could after a grown man who was also a trusted coach USED their teenaged daughter for his own sick sexual gratification.
HOWEVER, I do have little patience for all the people who are aware of this story and related rumors, but have just decided to âmemory holeâ it, since we are talking about prominent, connected people. And the fact that a certain someone closely linked to that mess holds multiple USEF committee assignments? Yeah. I think thatâs REALLY a bad look for USEF. But they donât care. They can hide behind SafeSport and say, âLook! Everything is different now and the sport has been cleaned up.â 
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I was one of these mothers. Yes believe Maggieâs Mom. I didnât let it happen. Trust everything she has said. I canât come forward as I didnât let it happen. Support the victim.
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âIf they want my money theyâll accept my rules. We let these often uneducated, poorly-socialized people have an undue amount of influence over our emotional and financial lives. I feel for families coming new to the sport who are awed by the atmosphere of the training barn and do not yet realize that you should treat a trainer like any other personnel hired on a consulting basis by expecting them to deliver consistently within the set of expectations you have laid out for them.â
WOW. You put into words what so many riders I know have been saying for years. Why DO we let these âoften uneducated, poorly-socialized peopleâ have so much power? It truly boggles my mind since it so unlike anything I experience in my professional life. Substitute the word âsupplicantâ for âclientâ and I think you get a better picture of the way many are treated in some training barns.
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Yesterday, Safesport re-issued a Temporary Suspension for Rich Fellers, with No Contact Directive, like before. No additional information is available, so scratch your heads accordingly.
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Wow. Again⊠my heart goes out to Maggie and her family, and any and all other families who have been victims of Rich, and been on the receiving end of mental and emotional abuse from these people AFTER experiencing sexual abuse.
Stay strong.
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I think Safesport more than anything has a transparency problem. Additionally, they are also woefully underfunded. It is much harder to get somebody temporarily suspended than everyone in the industry likes to think it is. If they have been suspended (for longer than the duration that it requires to look at the evidence), it is because the evidence is solidly unquestionable. Safesport does so many things right. I think that a lot of the âfearâ that has been created around Safesport is because they were thrown together so quickly in 2017 and have been trying to refine themselves since. They are TREMENDOUSLY underfunded for the number of cases they see and the education and outreach they do. Most of their investigators spent years in law enforcement prior to joining Safesport. They are very well qualified. Once an issue is reported to Safesport, if it is a âcriminalâ situation, Safesport immediately reports it to the law enforcement jurisdiction where it happened. Once that occurs (frequently, but not always), law enforcement puts a âholdâ on the Safesport process. While the hold is in process, the Safesport process pauses (although they can continue the temporary suspension). Safesport then (generally) follows the law enforcement finding. If the victim chooses to talk to Safesport but not law enforcement, then Safesport has to get law enforcement to release the hold prior to continuing the Safesport investigation. I also donât think people realize how closely Safesport works with law enforcement. Both Safesport and law enforcement require unquestionable and extremely solid evidence.
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