Sending a message to horse’s new owners?

Bit of a backstory, about a year and a half ago the horse I had worked with for a few years and was hoping to buy was sold to someone else. I’m over any anger or resentment about it and at this point am still just sad, and grieving her loss- which sounds stupid since she’s not dead but I digress. I made a post about it here and it was suggested that I give her new owners my info, but I never did. Hurt too much at the time. I’ve healed enough from that ever present specific horse-shaped hole in my heart to be ready to start looking at returning lessons or leasing another horse, but it doesn’t change the fact that I still want that one, y’know? I still think about her all the time, and was considering sending this message to her new owners:

Dear [owner’s name],

Hi. I’m [my name], and I trained [horse] in the years prior to you buying her. I know it’s a bit odd for me to be reaching out to you after so long, but I wanted to introduce myself and explain a little.

I hope [horse] has been wonderful to you and your family, I hope she has brought you and continues to bring you lots of laughs and joy in the coming years. She’s a great little horse, I am so lucky to have been able to know her, and I am so, incredibly glad she went to such a lovely family as yours. I’m so grateful you’ve been giving her such a fantastic life.

I just wanted to reach out and say, now this may never happen, but should you ever outgrow her, if you ever want to go on to a higher level or a show horse, it’s simply time to move on from the childhood horse, or even 10, 15 years from now and you want to find her a retirement home, please let me know. I knew that little horse for years and even still love her more than I can say. If there is ever a time to find a new home for her, I just ask that you keep me in mind.

Once again I am so grateful to you for providing her such a phenomenal home, it brings me great relief to know that she is healthy and happy and being so loved. If you have any questions or ever need any help with her, please don’t hesitate to ask.

Thanks. Wishing you all the best.


[phone number]


Is it ok? Would you send it? Would you change anything? Would you tell me to act my age for once and get over it already? I love that little horse so much, even though I haven’t gotten to see her in quite a long time. I promised her before we went our separate ways that she would always have a home with me and I intend to keep that. I think if I had bought a horse and someone sent me this a year and a half later, I would be glad to know that someone else out there loves her so much, regardless of whether I had any intention to sell, ever, or not. How would you feel if someone sent you this? Is it clear enough that I have no intention at all to step on their toes, merely to let them know that I’m out here? Is it ok to ask that I be contacted if they ever need to sell? Is that desire clear enough???

Thank you all in advance!


I’d send a shortened version.
Just letting them know if they ever want to sell, pls contact you first.
You have no way of knowing if your circumstances would allow you to make the purchase in 5, 10 or more years.
Or if you could provide the home you offer.

Please don’t be offended, but the (to me) extra backstory & praise of the mare would creep me out a bit . Just a bit Over the Top to me.
Putting myself in the present owner’s shoes, a letter from someone who hadn’t sold or owned the mare, with this sort of info would put me off.

Reread your original thread on this horse.
Since you disapproved of the sale to this family (no matter how tactful you tried to be in that thread) I don’t think you should communicate anything more than your contact info & a very brief summary of how you know of the sale & that you would appreciate a heads up to purchase or re-home IF they ever decide to resell/retire.


Honestly, the letter would put me off and creep me out as well.


Were current owners aware of you prior to the sale? If they were and you knew them personally, you could send them a short version of this and ask if they ever list her for sale to quietly let you know. Remove all your unending praise and emotions from it. It comes off as someone begging an employer for a job. It’s enough to say she’s a great little horse and you’d be interested in her if they ever were to sell.

If you were not involved in the sale and current owners were not aware of you but you found them on Facebook or something, this message would come off strangely and I would probably not give you a reply.


It sounds like from your original post that your contact info has already been provided. If that is the case, the note would creep me out, especially one so effusive.

Are you, by chance, a junior?


I recently had a young lady reach out me about a horse I have. Horse had been her junior mount before horse changed hands a few times.

If she had sent me that love letter I would have promptly blocked her.

The young lady in my case sent me a short text. Hi, I’m so and so. I got your number from so and so. I used to own Horse. I was hoping to hear how Horse is doing?

I sent her some pics and info and even let her come to my house to visit Horse.

Maybe a much briefer message is in order for you.


OP I read your initial thread as well and it sounds like the seller passed along your info or said they would. Did you confirm they did? If so, I would think sending them a letter would be too much as they would already have your info.


I would let it go.


If they already were passed along your info then do not send anything else. They have your information to contact you. If they do not, definitely condense your message and I would not keep referring to this horse as “little horse”. That being repeated so much just reads as a little strange. Here is what I would condense it to, again providing that your information never ended up getting passed along:

Dear [owner’s name],

I’m [my name] and I trained [horse] for several years before you became her new owners. If there is ever a chance that you are thinking of selling or retiring [horse] in the future, whether it be a few years from now or decades from now, I would like to provide you with my contact information.

Thank you,
[phone number]


If you didn’t/wouldn’t/couldn’t buy the horse at that time, I as the new owner would be VERY hesitant in considering you for any future sales. What makes you able to now afford the horse? What if you end up tight financially again?? Yeah, no thanks.

But… if you insist on sending a letter, I would remove the “I trained your horse” junk from it. Makes it sound haughty and like you actually have skin in the game.

The letter is weird though.

I have one that “got away” that I should have bought when I had the chance. I have NEVER contacted the new owners, nor would I ever. Keep your nose on your face.


Yeah, I agree that “trained” needs to be replaced with “rode”.

Also agree with another poster about cutting the “little horse” endearment right out.


OP addressed this in the original post about the horse being out of budget. My thoughts were similar that if you can’t afford to buy the horse today at the asking price plus some inflation, I wouldn’t extend that offer whether or not they have already received your contact info.

Personally, I don’t think I would even consider reaching out to someone that reached out to me 5-10+ years ago that I didn’t know then and don’t know now. My view may be different as I am in it for the long haul with my gelding and have no intention of ever selling him. Should something happen to me, I am working to get that all sorted in a will, he will have a trust and be going to someone I know and trust to see that he is set for the rest of his life.


I would block anyone that sent that letter lol


I’d just advise you “chin up”! Whenever i have lost a beloved animal (dog, horse, cow, chicken, sheep) i must say, my heart has always found another one to love. Love is giving…and there are many willing recipients here on earth. I believe you will find your true mount someday, and with luck go on to find another! Just keep your eyes (and your heart) open!


Yeah, no. Horse’s owner passed along your info when they sold their horse, you were not part of the transaction. kind of creepy. Especially if they have children, they do not know you, may not welcome you or care to develop any kind of relationship or regular communication with you.

Move on.


Yes. This.

If you sent me this letter, I would think that you seem a bit obsessed, with maybe an unhealthy attachment to my horse. I would also think that you must be young, with a fairy tale view of horses. If this came as an email or Facebook message, I would probably respond with something like “Horse is doing great. We love her,” and immediately “lose” your contact information. If you sent it through the mail in written form, I would probably just toss the letter in the trash.

Please let this go and don’t make it weird.


Thoughts from an old lady…

In the original thread you were concerned about the fact that the 4 year old horse that you had trained “for years” was sold to a 5 year old kid.

You sound young, so I am picturing a kid playing with a cute foal etc, rather than a trainer working with the horse. My advice, just let it go, horses come and go when they don’t belong to you, it’s just the way it is.


I’m sorry this horse is the “one that got away.”

I would send a much briefer message along the lines of “Hi I used to ride (mare) and just loved her. Hope she is doing well!”

People, myself included, usually love to share pics of our horses and you might get lucky. If they have an Instagram and it’s not too creepy, I suggest following them. It’s how I see several former rides.

The letter as written has too much of your own emotion in.


Ehh you guys are cold. If I got that letter from my horse’s prior owner, I wouldn’t be upset or creeped out.

If I wasn’t interested, it wouldn’t bother me. I wouldn’t be worried that she would end up missing overnight.

But if I was slightly intrigued, I’d be happy for the connection. I don’t ride anymore, really…and have a 15 year old mare that still has a lot to offer. If a prior owner reached out, I might consider giving her to them. I don’t have any interest in selling her (I don’t need the money, and not willing to chance that she’d end up in an auction somewhere), but if someone really wanted her I might contact them back.


I’m a sap. You miss that horse? You miss that horse and would take her back in a minute? Send a letter. Sure, keep it simple and short. You NEVER know - they might be thinking of finding her a new home right now.

I have a fun story. My hubby built custom indoor mirrors for me and we hung them at a barn where I boarded. When I left I didn’t feel comfortable asking to take them down.

For years…over 10 years and then through two property sales I contemplated writing the new owners

Do you know I noticed a sale last year, contacted the new owner who had NO use for those mirrors and said come get em. No cost.

You just never know.