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Sending a message to horse’s new owners?

Ah yeah you’re all very much right. I won’t contact them. I just miss her, but it’s something I’ll have to get over on my own. No need to drag them into it

Thanks everyone, it’s tough but I definitely needed to hear it straight :slight_smile:

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Yabbut, this is not a prior owner.
If you search the original thread, just someone who rode the mare. From the older thread, it was mentioned that mare “still bucks & bolts” - so any training done had some pretty goodsized holes.
Mare was 4 at that time, so now 6ish.
If she proved unsuitable for the 5yo, chances are she’s been sent along OR had training to find out if she could be suitable as a kids’ ride.

Sorry, OP, I realize to you this mare was special. But there will be another The One when you’re financially able to provide for a horse.

Just read your last post.
:+1: For deciding to let it go.

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Still, I’m not “creeped out” by it. There was a 13 year old at the barn where rode when I got my mare. The trainer had the horse on trial because I was looking, but we took full opportunity to put other students on her to see how she rode for them. I know that kid wanted the horse, and her family wasn’t in a position to buy one for her.

If she had contacted me with a similar letter, I would have thought “oh wow, yes, of course she would like to know if the mare is available.” Nothing creepy.

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The OP is not the prior owner though. The OP is someone who had a free ride on a horse that the owner then sold.

Though I do agree that I would not have a problem with the shorter version that has posted above. Including an adorable photo of the horse when it was young is always a hit too.

Edit to add - I see you already discussed this while I had it typed but forgot to hit post.

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That kind of letter is exactly what I imagine a 13yo would write.
But OP never revealed her age, so for me, that wording would be a bit creepy/stalker-ish coming from an adult.

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Ehh, it was 10 years ago. She would be 23 now.

I really think you all have a different opinion of what “creepy/stalker-ish” is than I do.

Creepy/stalker-ish would be “I love how she has matured over the last few years, and I can tell she still remembers me by the way she nickered when I fed her peppermints over your fence.” LOL.

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Got it.
But (honest, not trying to beat this dead horse of a thread back to life) whatever you want yo call it, OP’s broken heart over a horse she never owned & poorly “trained” < “bucks and bolts” when she wanted support for the horse not going to the buyers is excessive. The letter she proposed sending now was Too Much.

A similar story:
In my mid-30s, as a re-rider, I shareboarded (as opposed to leased) a 4yo QH.
He was Race-bred & came from an auction to the riding school. So green he was not appropriate for the lesson string.
He was sold to a young aerobics instructor (it was the early 80s :sunglasses:) a wedding present from her husband.
She rode so infrequently the trainer at the barn got me the ride. I probably rode 3X to her once.
I rode & showed that horse as a Hunter - with owner’s blessing. I’d take him to a weekend show, she’d come on Sunday to ride in a single hack class. I was doing well in the Lows & Pre-Greens with him.
This went on for a couple years, then she had a baby & moved to a suburb a good hour+ from me.
I made the trip to ride once & decided it wouldn’t work.
Did I miss him?
Yes.
Did people at the barn tell me he was more “my” horse than hers?
Yes.

But I bought my own horse the next year & ended up moving him to a suburb not far from QH.
Turned out she had Baby#2, decided after her 6wks away that she could take him for a trailride.
He bucked her off, broke her arm & she moved him to the barn I was at.
Where my DH took the shareboard over & showed him with moderate success as a Hunter. Mostly we trailrode together.
DH & himself - circa 1995:

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Ehh, what’s the worst thing that could happen if you do? Seriously? If you don’t even know them, what do you care what they think about you?

You could tone down the emotion in the letter and send it – “I used to ride your horse when it was at XX barn and really loved her. I wanted to let you know I would be interested if you ever consider selling her; please contact me.”

Nothing creepy about that, despite what the cold-hearted COTH readers thing. :slight_smile:

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The only creepy part about it is the whole - how did you get our name and address - part.

I think the OP’s original letter is over the top and is just weird. Something short like you wrote or like was suggested above is fine. And like I put above, it sounds like the OP knew this horse as a foal so a cute baby photo might make the OP a popular person.

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Again, not really. If the horse stayed local and the OP already knew who bought the horse…it’s pretty easy to get a mailing address. This would not creep me out; not where I live anyway. I can literally tell people “yeah I live at that really sharp curve on XX road” and everyone says “oh yeah, I know exactly where that is.” They even say things like “I looked at your house when it was for sale” or even “I always wanted to ride my bike around your circular driveway.” (That’s a true story).

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There’s nothing cold-hearted about being creeped out by someone you don’t know, coming out of the blue unsolicited, gushing over your horse and offering to purchase said horse. OP asked our opinions and we answered. Geez.

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I was one that said I’d be creeped out and would block if OP had sent me the full love letter they posted. I don’t think I’m cold hearted. I included in my post the basic outline of message a prior owner had sent me about my horse. I had her out to my house so she could visit said horse and took some pictures of her with horse to have as a memento.

The young lady was polite. I was accommodating. Horse got extra carrots. Worked out nicely.

Over the years I’ve received a variety of these types of messages from prior owners/riders/admirers of horses I’ve purchased. One horse in particular came with his own fan club who all tried to add me on Facebook. I never judged anybody by their original message but took some much more seriously than others. Messages that included gushing memories went into my “nope” mental file. Those that said things like they were not in a position to purchase or keep the horse at the time but now they had more stability and to keep them in mind in the future were welcome. I liked knowing that if something came up in my life I could quickly find loving homes for even the senior citizens.

Send your message, OP, but keep it to the point and professional. You never know.

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I don’t think you should send the letter you wrote - too emotional and too much detail - but I do think a short, friendly, and professional letter is more than acceptable.

Hi! I used to ride your horse Daisy before you bought her and she was a favorite of mine. I hope she is doing well with you! Down the road if you ever plan to sell her I’d love to have a chance to be her next home. My contact info is below and you can also find me on [social channel] if you wanted to keep in touch that way. All the best, [your name]

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Is OP here sure the buyers and now teenaged kid still own the horse after so much time has passed?

IME, why some may not want to be contacted by long ago previous owners/riders/ trainers etc is they don’t want to be put on the spot defending why they sold the horse on and/or feel guilty telling them the horse is gone.

Depends on personal experience with and observation of how this situation can go as well. May be great but just as likely create a pest.

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I don’t find it creepy, but I agree that it should be shortened.

Maybe I’m just overly emotional today, but the letter made me teary. Horses can be so much more than just an athlete and partner to us. They are family and it’s completely normal to become attached.

If new owners aren’t into it, they likely won’t respond or will be abrupt with you. Or they may reach out with an update. We don’t know, but at least the response (or lack of) may bring you some closure. Hugs to you, OP :heart:

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(Bolding mine.) They have had the horse for over a year. Why would they want to ask questions of , or for help from, a random person who didn’t own the horse? I’d certainly leave that part out. It seems condescending to me.

I think you should lose the emotional tone if you want the owners to communicate with you. The owners will know that you care very much or you wouldn’t be asking about their horse.
I would be unwilling to respond to that letter as it is written now if I owned the horse.

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Where did you get that from? The OP, which is dated early THIS month (5 days ago), says the horse was sold a year and a half ago.

I was talking about the kid who wanted to ride MY horse, 10 years ago. She would be 23 now. If she wrote me NOW and said she wanted the horse, I might consider it. She isn’t a teenager anymore.

My concern is OP says she is over “ the anger and resentment” over horse’s owner selling “her heart horse” and not dropping the price or negotiating so she could afford it. This despite her free training rides greatly improving the horse so it could be sold.

If you read her earlier thread (Oct ‘20), she expresses great doubts about the owner’s honesty in the sale and if the new owners can successfully care for and ride the horse without her input. I fear OP might feel she will be able to step back in to this horses management and thats part of the motivation in trying to contact the owners. Just seeing the horse may not be what will ease the bad feelings.

Is OP prepared for the current owners to say no contact? Is she ready to accept not agreeing with horse’s current management, who rides it and what they are doing? What if they are selling it on and will not lower the price or negotiate a payment plan? What if they already sold it? Would new owners feel put on the spot with too many questions?

Just don’t think its a great idea here. Time to let go. And remember theres no such thing as a free ride. If you don’t pay up front you will pay later, often dearly. OP remains pretty negative towards prior owner even now, time to let that go too, remember all the rides you enjoyed courtesy of that person.

IME over many decades, too many non owner/breeders previously involved with a horse who seek it out after it is sold do come with a hope of contributing ( non monetarily) to its care and management. Some previous owners do too but mostly, IME, its the non owners/breeders.

YMMV

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