Sheltering in place and needing barn time for mental health

[mkevent]

For those of use with anxiety, depression and other disorders-how are you coping with sheltering in place?

I am having a very difficult time. I know my horse is ok, but I am used to being out every day to take care of him. I can deal without being able to ride, but not being able to see and take care of him is becoming very difficult.

I feel very frustrated and angry ( I know-stages of grief).

It really upsets me to see people on FB ignoring the quarantines or bragging about how many horses they rode. I’ve had to unfollow them because it triggers me. I’m having a difficult time trying to stay positive the longer the quarantine is going on.

I think just having my emotions validated helps somewhat. I know so many people are suffering greatly and people pointing that out to me just makes me feel worse, not better.

Does anyone have any coping mechanisms that are helping them through this difficult time?

[EVneo]

It’s so frustrating seeing other people ignore or skirt the rules. I’ve stopped following people I see doing that on facebook and instagram. I tried giving benefit of the doubt to people who keep their horses at home, but I think it’s selfish to ride and potentially be lawn darted and need medical care during this time. Even if it’s a super close friend, they’re getting unfollowed. I just don’t want/ need to see them riding right now.

For me, walking and running outside (I live on a rural road, not going to get close to anyone) and working out at home have been life savers. Peloton and pure barre are doing 90 day free trials, so it’s almost kind of nice having time to dedicate to my own rider fitness. Cooking too - I have time to play with sourdough and make my own pasta! This also is sooooo cheeseball, but just taking a moment to appreciate that spring is coming has helped me a lot. I literally will just walk around our yard, looking at the peonies starting to poke out, or the magnolia bush that has little fuzzy pods starting to bloom.

[mkevent]

Thank you EVneo.

It does help to hear that I’m not alone in my feelings.

Watching Spring start to unfold has been comforting.

Sometimes it just helps to be reminded where to find joy in the little things.

[2DogsFarm]

Concentrate on knowing your horse is being cared for.
Mine are at home & my nagging fear is what happens if I get sick.

Or, now that weather is finally decent enough to ride - and I have an indoor - the risk of getting on my strong horse after he’s had a 4+ month vacation from being ridden.
I cannot take the chance of being hurt.
Both for myself & for taking time from healthcare workers who are needed more elsewhere.

I have a neighbor who could pitch in & friends who own a boarding barn, but neighbor will soon be busy working (landscaper) & friends are busy enough with 20+ boarders.

This is an anxiety-filled time for everyone.
So I try to think of the coming Spring & the hope that the present problems with COVID virus will begin to resolve.

[iris2006]

@EVneo

It’s so frustrating seeing other people ignore or skirt the rules. I’ve stopped following people I see doing that on facebook and instagram. I tried giving benefit of the doubt to people who keep their horses at home, but I think it’s selfish to ride and potentially be lawn darted and need medical care during this time. Even if it’s a super close friend, they’re getting unfollowed. I just don’t want/ need to see them riding right now.

For me, walking and running outside (I live on a rural road, not going to get close to anyone) and working out at home have been life savers. Peloton and pure barre are doing 90 day free trials, so it’s almost kind of nice having time to dedicate to my own rider fitness. Cooking too - I have time to play with sourdough and make my own pasta! This also is sooooo cheeseball, but just taking a moment to appreciate that spring is coming has helped me a lot. I literally will just walk around our yard, looking at the peonies starting to poke out, or the magnolia bush that has little fuzzy pods starting to bloom.

I think you are being a little harsh saying people who are riding their horses at home are being selfish. Taking care of them everyday at home is a lot more dangerous than riding them! I almost got kicked today in my mare’s stall.

I am definitely being more cautious about when and how often I ride. If my horse seems a little nervous I will wait and ride a different day, when I would have just got right on before. And I’m riding less often.

I have never been seriously hurt riding, but my friends have broken bones while jogging, bike riding, and randomly falling down. Anyone who wants to spend thousands of dollars building a barn and lose thousands of dollars of lost wages because they are taking care of horses for hours and hours, could have their horses at home and could be riding now, too. We are not being selfish, it just happens to be a millisecond of time in the universe that it was a good idea to have horses at home.

[mkevent]

I was hoping that by putting this in the riders with health issues forum we could all be a bit kinder and less judgmental to each other.

I doubt there is anyone out there that is not suffering in some form. Those who are not going to the barn either by mandate or a self imposed decision are having a very difficult time. It is a sacrifice and not knowing how long it will be before we can see our horses again is excruciating.

I had my own farm for 27 years. I made the decision to sell and move to another state so I could be closer to my children and grandchildren. I can’t even see them now.

We are all hurting.

I think the “don’t ride” idea is a good one. I completed over 20 Prelims in Eventing on 2 different self trained horses and never broke a bone. Last year I broke my wrist doing dressage. I think that we all deep down know that it’s just a matter of time before we get an injury riding even if we don’t want to believe it. I made it until age 58 before it happened to me. That is why people are saying “don’t ride”. Because the threat of getting injured is real and why take the chance of needing emergency services during this time.

Even if I still had my farm, I would make the decision not to ride. That’s my personal take based on my particular risk aversion.

(((((((hugs))))))) to everyone going through this.

[jonquil]

There’s no doubt that this is hard on everyone. I am standing on the edge of the black hole myself. But with a finicky heart I am staying isolated. Hang in there, we will get through this!

[mkevent]

I also wanted to add a big thank you for all the horse people who are on the front lines taking care of our horses.

It also must be incredibly difficult to stay strong under what must be an almost constant barrage of texts and phone calls from worried horse owners.

You have now had to include mentally taking care of the horse owners besides physically taking care of the horses.

Thank you!

[CHT]

Please consider that not all areas are in the same situation.

My barn is small. We are able to practice social distancing by keeping a schedule of who is coming out when. We are able to meet all the government requirements to stay open.

Our hospitals so far are quiet. We are not in a position of worrying of not receiving care if we get hurt, or overwhelming the system. We know which hospitals have people with Covid-19.

My clients are adults who are responsible enough to stay home at any sign of illness and who are otherwise self isolating other than work - pretty much all by boarders are still working.

To accommodate my one client who actually NEEDS her horse for mental health (she is on a break from work due to a serious incident), she has agreed to volunteer as a barn hand to be one of the “essential” workers in case we are shut down/required to limit access.

[BigMama1]

@mkevent

For those of use with anxiety, depression and other disorders-how are you coping with sheltering in place?

I am having a very difficult time. I know my horse is ok, but I am used to being out every day to take care of him. I can deal without being able to ride, but not being able to see and take care of him is becoming very difficult.

I feel very frustrated and angry ( I know-stages of grief).

It really upsets me to see people on FB ignoring the quarantines or bragging about how many horses they rode. I’ve had to unfollow them because it triggers me. I’m having a difficult time trying to stay positive the longer the quarantine is going on.

I think just having my emotions validated helps somewhat. I know so many people are suffering greatly and people pointing that out to me just makes me feel worse, not better.

Does anyone have any coping mechanisms that are helping them through this difficult time?

I get incredibly frustrated with the barns and riders who are simply ignoring the law, or coming up with ridiculous reasons why riding their horses is “essential care” that only they can provide.

Going to visit my horse would be a great outlet for my anxiety but I had to find other ways to cope. Week 1 that involved a lot of stress cleaning, a lot of exercise and no sleep. Week 2 involved a lot of sleep, and not a lot else. So far this week I’m trying to work a little more balance into my day.

Our barn staff posts pictures of a few of the horses each day, which helps me be connected. I know my mare is in excellent hands and is perfectly safe and happy, so that’s one thing I don’t have anxiety about. Honestly, for most of us who board out, I think our horses don’t notice / don’t care that we aren’t there, as long as they are being well fed, turned out and / or exercised

[mkevent]

Maybe this is the crux of my anger and frustration.

The true spirit of shelter in place is not to go out unless you absolutely have to. Essential barn personnel absolutely have to.

Most boarders (with the exception of self care) are not essential, but they find ways to skirt the issue. It is frustrating to those that are following the spirit of the shelter in place.

We all need to do our part.

[KarenRO]

I thought PA’s “stay-at-home” order only applied to 7 counties? Also, the order states that people in those counties can leave the house and engage “…in outdoor activity, such as walking, hiking or running if they maintain social distancing.” Many states have “stay at home” orders with similar language. As someone on this thread noted earlier, every place is different. As an example, google “Caring for your horses during Minnesota’s “stay-at-home” order and COVID-19 restrictions” [h=1][/h]

[mkevent]

Yes. I live in one of those counties with those restrictions.

My barn is fully closed except to essential personnel. I fully support this decision as it is necessary to help prevent the spread of the virus. It is a large barn. Social distancing would be very difficult.

There are people out there that are non essential in these counties that are still going about, acting as if the shelter in place doesn’t apply to them. That is where I am frustrated. I see what they are doing as putting the system at risk by taking unnecessary chances. They are also putting the barn staff at risk as we do not know who is an asymptomatic carrier.

I really started this thread to apply to those who are truly following the spirit of the mandates by staying at home and what they are doing to cope.

Having previously owned a small boarding farm, I fully understand the extra workload now on those left caring for our horses. It is a stress as well. If I still had my farm, I no doubt would be starting a thread worrying about what would happen if I got ill with COVID.

Before I started reading about it on COTH, I wouldn’t have thought twice about keeping my horse ridden during this time. People on here brought up some compelling arguments as why I shouldn’t. The healthcare system doesn’t need the additional stress should I get injured.

Does it worry me that he will go an extended period without being ridden? Yes. I thought long and hard about what the minimum requirements would be for him when we went into this mandate. Much of it is based on what I can afford and not overloading the already stressed barn staff.

[stargzng386]

I think it’s especially hard because a lot of states/areas have different guidelines right now. I live right where West Va, Va and MD meet so someone ten min from me has a different rule right now. VA where I am has a shelter in place order but they say it’s ok to leave home to care for animals or for outdoor exercise as long as while doing that exercise there are less than 10 ppl and you’re 6ft minimum apart.

I board at a very small private barn with only 4 boarders. I’ve talked extensively with my barn owner and so far she thinks it’s ok to keep coming out, unless VA gives further guidance she isn’t shut down. One boarder has a retired horse and has decided not to come out at all. I’m not sure about the 2nd or 3rd boarder. I’ve settled on going out once a week/every 2 weeks only for grooming/lunging no riding. My 4 year old had time off due to ulcers and I just won’t bring him back under saddle until after all of this is done because the risk of falling and going to a hospital is too high for me. Because of the ulcers and past lameness issues it’s beneficial for me to see him move and make sure he’s ok, it saves my barn owner time otherwise I’d have to have her lunge him. To be as safe as possible I moved everything into my horse trailer on the property and I groom him off the trailer so I don’t have to step foot in the barn. However, I also told my barn owner that if at ANYTIME she doesn’t want me to come out or feels safer not having me there to let me know no hard feeling I won’t be upset at all I just won’t come.

It upsets me to see people at large barns ignoring the rules posing as a group after a ride. It really upsets me to see someone I know still advertising kids horse camps 8 kids or less. That is most definitely not allowed, I commented and it was deleted. So I’m also clearing out my friend’s list. I also won’t be posting about going to the barn, since it seems like it’s up for debate what the rules in VA mean, the rules in MD are diff and some larger barns have closed becaus that’s the only way to enforce the social distancing. I don’t want to make anyone feel bad that they can’t go see their horse.

In terms of the anxiety and grief it helps me to do things that I can fully control. I have started going through cleaning/organizing the house and doing outdoor projects that I never finished. If I’m tired I pick something really small, if I’m driven and have a day to kill and need to be busy I pick something big. Being able to take something and say it’s complete no matter how small is how I’m keeping my sanity.

I also got a bottle baby goat that’s living in the house right now lol that’s helping distract me!

[cnigh]

I’m still allowed at the barn for now, but I’m doing my part with self quarantine.

I have gone out twice in 2 weeks to check on my mares wellbeing. No riding until the state of emergency is over.

I’m am depressed and have major panic attacks just going to the grocery store (also only once per week). But for the most part I’m ok.

It helps that my adult children are still living at home. It would kill me if I was separated from them.

[4horses]

Florida is issuing a stay at home order effective at midnight tomorrow. I have been “under lockdown” since I broke my foot in January. Not much you can do with an extremely painful foot you can’t walk on. So I’m already going a bit stir crazy.

I have my horses at home, so i plan to ride anyway. Hospitals are not over whelmed in this area. Most of the college students have left and gone home, except for those that have their own apartments. I believe there are only 11 people with coronavirus hospitalized (split between 2 hospitals).

it is depressing because I missed out on 4 camping trips that my friends went on without me (including going beach riding). Now my foot is finally getting better and it looks like we will be under stay at home orders. And by May it will be 105 degrees out so it will be too hot and miserable to ride. My yard has no shade so either I can ride in the dark at night or early early morning. I find summers to be the most depressing time of the year due to the incredibly high temperatures.

I really hope they leave the remaining parks open, as i believe you are allowed to leave your home for exercise. I sure hope so. But they just announced this and i don’t know the details on what new restrictions they are adding. I’m really hoping they don’t tell us not to ride. If I fall off and break something, i will just have to tough it out at home assuming it isn’t an emergency.

My foot is still not okay. Under normal circumstances, i would get another MRI or a second opinion, but my doctor’s office is only doing video consults… I will be taking the wait and see approach. In the meantime, I’m taking out my steadiest horse and riding without stirrups on my left side. But my mare is super steady, so pretty low risk. She takes really good care of me and is super cool with my crutches which are always falling over. When she’s ready for retirement, she will make a nice therapy horse. I am blessed to have her.

Being cooped up is not good for your mental health. I find it super depressing. If you can go outside, do some gardening, or go for a walk. I am jealous of anyone who can walk right now. You don’t realize how lucky you are until you spend 3 months on crutches. I am just starting to be able to drop the crutches and painfully hobble my way around the horse while I brush her.

Trust me, no one is happy about this. My cousin is upset because she likes to go to church events, go to work, go out to eat, go to the gym, and socialize. All her activities are cancelled indefinitely. She’s stuck at home- walking the dog and swimming in the pool by herself. She keeps posting pictures of her dogs on Facebook.

I’m actually thinking about painting my bathroom - I never liked the color. And I was going to finish painting my horse trailer - I did the inside last year. I had just started the outside when I broke my foot. So lots of things to keep me occupied, once my foot is better.

[4horses]

Cnigh- many grocery stores are offering delivery. Wal-Mart delivers to your car. Publix delivers to your house. It might cost a bit extra, but cheaper than a hospital bill. At least in my area.

[GoodTimes]

Is the barn able to send you pictures or short videos every few days? One of mine lives out 24/7 so it’s comforting to get a picture or video so I that I can see for myself that he’s fine, and I know that they are getting close enough to notice any cuts, swellings, check his weight, etc.

This is also a good time to take a class online, or read a book. Brush up on something related to horse care (nutrition, lameness, etc.), or learn something new (massage techniques, stretches), etc.

I’m in a rural area so I’ve been taking full advantage of the trail system. I run 4 miles every morning, and walk 4 miles in the afternoon. I’ve been doing some workouts and strength training as well, focusing on my core and my back for riding. And have been stretching at least 30 minutes every day, extra attention to my hips and neck/shoulders for riding.

You could also bake some treats for the horses. Just freeze them until we’re allowed to go to the barn again.

If you have a dog you can teach them some new tricks. Or pretend your dog is a horse and do a dressage test or jump a few jumps in the backyard.

[cnigh]

@4horses

Cnigh- many grocery stores are offering delivery. Wal-Mart delivers to your car. Publix delivers to your house. It might cost a bit extra, but cheaper than a hospital bill. At least in my area.

Online grocery services are running 1 or 2 weeks behind for delivery. And we have been asked by the CEO of a major chain, not to use it if we are able to go to the store. They need to be able to deliver to seniors and others that are either sick or in isolation because of other health issues.

I’m not a hoarder and live with 3 adult men that never stop eating, so I have to go at least once per week.

It just sucks because it affects my mental health. Afterwards I don’t want to leave the safety of my home for days.

[cnigh]

I go myself despite the risk and panics attacks, because I know I would be 10 times worse if my sons or husband got sick.