Sending good vibes to everyone going through tough times…
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Mkevent-- I am also not riding and it has been a tough adjustment. Our state(s)–I live in WA, horse is in OR, which is the fun of living in border county-- have been on “shelter in place” for nearly 2 weeks now, and I am on my 3rd week of essential travel/isolation. I’ve only been to the grocery store 3 times and my mechanic once in all that time.
To help with my anxiety over this whole situation, I’ve proactively started projects outside in the yard, I walk every day, rain or shine, I have cleaned my barn and fussed over my two retired boys here at home, my DH and I have played board games and just talked, we don’t watch the news at all. My trainer has been sending photos of our horses and videos of training rides so I can see my pretty girl even if I can’t snuggle with her after a ride. I think I miss that the most, the bonding and smell of her. I am trying not to let my fears overwhelm me because stress can kill us. My fears are many (fear of Covid, fear of suddenly having to teach 140 eighth graders from home digitally, fear of getting sick and dying and who will care for my horses, fear over my retired horse’s laminitis which returned this weekend…you get the picture) but I won’t let them win.
All of us need to lift each other up with positive ideas and actions, not just platitudes. We need to listen and validate each other. We will survive.
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Thank you Calvincrowe!!
It is difficult because I try to balance between trying to be positive and upbeat and not letting my anger and frustration get the best of me!!
Sometimes I just need to vent about every stupid trivial thing that annoys me. I just need to get it out and that helps dissipate the frustration and helplessness. Then I feel guilty about the vent because it is trivial in the whole scheme of what is happening in the world now. Sometimes I just need that outlet.
I think a big part of the problem is that I can’t read someone’s expression from a text conversation. If my venting has gone too far or it’s the wrong day and that person needs emotional uplifting, I can’t always tell. I don’t want to bring down someone else who is barely struggling keeping their head above water.
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There is a lot of anxiety / fear these days, and confinement is just adding to it.
I think we need to remember that this, too, shall pass, eventually, and in the mean time, try to look at the positives and try to forget the negatives.
There is a lot we now have time to do while stuck inside and at least we have the internet! A gold mine for new recipes, DIY projects, fun videos, exercise videos…
Read an uplifting book.
Try to get our of the house every day for some exercise, in the yard or in a quiet area.
Spring is here! Plant some flowers?
Walk your dog, respecting social distancing.
I can’t help thinking of these families stuck in tiny apartments in the city with young children and very limited space. That must be so hard. I actually consider myself privileged and really can’t complain about the Stay at Home thing (plus, I’m pretty much a-social and an introvert so it’s really no problem for me).
Chin up everyone and stay safe.
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I totally feel this. I am in a shelter in place state but the barn is still open. I’m making the decision to not go the barn even though many are still riding! It is frustrating because it’s not easy for any of us.
I also have depression and anxiety. The barn and my horse was definitely an outlet. But lives are at risk. So I’m sucking it up.
But yes I feel the need to vent a bit too. So thanks for making us all feel a little less alone.
”‹”‹”‹”‹”‹Take care everyone!
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I wish I could give you helpful coping advice. I could use a bunch myself. I am finding this incredibly difficult and it’s affected my mood greatly. I was in the process of trying to find a free lease (or a reasonable project horse) which under normal circumstances is tough. Now it’s even worse and with the quarantine in place it just seems like my chance to get connected with horses is getting further and further away 
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We will all get through this.
I’ve found my anger has lessened over the last week (thankfully)
so that’s really helped me. I think I’m learning to take it day by day.
I think it helps knowing I’m not alone in my frustration with those who are “skirting the rules”. The self centeredness of some people is mind boggling. Or maybe it’s denial, I don’t know.
I can’t really garden or do outside projects because I live in a 55+ community, so my options are limited.
I have tried to do a lot of walking, so that helps!
Im not bugging my trainer worrying about everything I used to micro manage about my horse. I have learned to let go of that. I guess this does help us all grow in ways we probably wouldn’t have challenged ourselves to otherwise!!
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I agree.
My husband who commutes to work( a significant distance) says that not only are the drivers on the road speeding more than usual/ driving badly-- due to less traffic, but accidents are way up all over the country because of it.
I think you are safer riding if you use your brain when doing it.
@mkevent is your barn still open? If it is why can’t you just follow protocol in keeping others safe and at least visit your horse?
Barn is totally closed and I fully support the decision.
Our county is on strict stay-at-home orders.
I am non essential.
I think it’s hard for us as horse people to come to grips with the fact that we are nonessential. We spend large portions of our time trying to optimize our horses management. We spend large amount of time and money trying to improve our riding. We are dedicated to being as good horse owners/riders as we can be.
It doesn’t matter with this virus. The best thing I can do is to stay at home so those on the front lines (this includes those people caring for our horses) can stay safe.
It is a huge sacrifice for all of us right now. I may be bemoaning not being able to see my horse but I feel for those who are working at the barn daily, knowing that everything they touch could be carrying that pathogen. That has to be incredibly stressful as well.
I would especially hate to be the person who unknowingly infected countless others. The asymptomatic transmission of this virus is part of what makes it so frightening.
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Yes, I get this one. Sometimes I wish the BO would just close the d*** barn, rather than burden me with a choice and all the anxiety that brings. I realized that it was time to cut back on barn days when I was getting super anxious every day I thought I’d be going, anxious enough that I would end up not going. I stopped riding even earlier because of the anxiety. I’m going tomorrow, which will be 10 days since the last time, probably not at all next week, etc. I’ve averaged 4 days a week at the barn for years now.
Our restrictions are supposed to be lifted on May 4, but I don’t know that they will be – and I am super worried about there being a “rebound” wave of COVID19 if everyone just rushes back to their normal lives.
The walls do start closing in on me at times. I’m yet another in the depressed/anxious category. My BO is being super good about keeping me updated about my horse, other boarders have sent me photos of her, etc.
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In my state it is okay to go to the stable and even ride if allowed. I am in part of the state that is less affected so far. BO is allowing boarders to ride. Still, I have elected to go to the stable and ride much less often. I am older with a couple of risk factors (as is the BO!) There are only about 5 boarders and I try very hard to avoid them - especially those that are still working or are less conscientious about the restrictions. Usually I see only the BO or one other person. I worry more about the BO than me!
I last saw my horse on Monday. I thought about going today but it is cold and windy, so not a good choice. Instead I used my reciprocating saw and took down some old walls in the basement. Then took medication and a glass of wine! (after noon is good enough now!) Hope to see and ride the horse tomorrow.
Only field trip today may be to get another box o’ wine!
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I’m one of those who will likely be riding again soon. I have only seen my mare once in the last nearly 4 weeks. I’m considered essential, as I care for a small private stable and grounds for an older man with cardiac issues. Our province closed boarding barns, which I support, and I’d made the decision to stop going to my barn (it’s minutes from the stable where I work, used to take a long lunchbreak there every day) days before the mandated closure. My number one priority is keeping my dear, vulnerable boss safe. I’ve seen my mare once, as I drove over to feed her carrots from the fenceline (with coordination/approval from boss/his son and BO).
However, I haven’t been doing well. Doing the bare minimum at work, sleeping any time I could but not sleeping well, drinking a ton at home. I’m still functioning, but barely. Sneaking out of bed after hubby went to sleep to cry. Only getting enough laundry done to have work clothes. Dishes and other chores getting out of hand at home.
My boss and his son (my actual employer) generously told me they’d like to bring my mare to boss’ stable for the duration of this crisis. Even when the province lifts or eases restrictions, nothing will change for me, as a case of COVID19 is quite likely a death sentence for my boss. They’re boarding her for free (we’ll see about that; I intend to pick up a LOT of weekend days to thank them, as it’s the son who takes care of the stable weekends) to allow me to continue paying board to my BO during these difficult times.
So I’ll have my mare (assuming she and boss’ 3 horses adjust well). And while I’ll be doing a lot more groundwork, I will likely ride some. And I know I’ll face judgement for it. I understand that.
If this was something we expect to resolve in a few weeks, or even a few months, I could talk myself out of riding. But this is the new normal for us for the foreseeable future. And I’m going to spend a little bit of time taking care of myself, so I can continue to take care of my boss and his horses. I’m certainly going to adjust my actions. No jumping (I haven’t fallen off unrelated to jumping since I was a teenager, and I’m almost 40)! No clowning around bareback. Just some hacking.
If others disagree with my decisions, I certainly understand why. And if the crisis worsens in my area, stressing our medical sytem, I’ll certainly adjust my actions accordingly. I care for horses daily from the ground, which is not without its dangers. I feel the additional risk associated with limited riding of a bold mare I know well is low enough to justify for my mental health.
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This quote describes me very well over the last 3 weeks, mkevent.
I had my first week vacation in years last week, which I had to take at that time, as it was between old and new jobs. I became very depressed, thinking what a waste it was - all that free time spent stuck home! I don’t know when I’ll be able to plan a full week off like that again, sigh.
But then I kick myself for being ungrateful - at least I have a good new job and can work from home as long as I need. At least I, and those I love, are so far healthy & safe.
The best days for me mental health wise have been when I plan a schedule and stick to it. Left to myself I become dreary and waste all time not working browsing Facebook or news, & just make myself more frustrated & angry. If I write down little time table in the morning, and make myself stick to doing what I said I would do, when, it is a better day.
That said, I feel a bit weary of having to enforce this kind of discipline over myself just to keep my sanity - going riding did not require that!
Someday we will look back on these times and appreciate our then current lives more, I hope. (((hugs)))
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This is by far the best article I have read addressing my feelings…
https://www.upworthy.com/were-going-through-a-collective-trauma-whatever-youre-feeling-is-okay?fbclid=IwAR377BakQh_lv5x6gXPi7ytMXybCzvT76xBW8kgyNFRCP_kXw7LJEHNt0Eo
I hope it can help some others as well.
Thank you to everyone who has shared and stay safe!!! Reading how everyone is dealing with this is really helping me and I truly appreciate it!!
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I saw the mare today, and she whinnied and came trotting across the paddock when she saw me. I don’t know if she’s been missing me, or the carrots I bring her, but it was goofy and cool. Normally I have to walk to her, or close to her. I put her in the outdoor wash rack and groomed her, and fed her carrots. It was nice.
The barn was crowded and really awkward for me. I’m not too good at “social distancing” – not because I don’t want to do it, but because I don’t always notice everyone, and there doesn’t seem to be a set etiquette of how to handle it when 2 people are going to end up in the same space.
I won’t be going back for a while.
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[QUOTE=mkevent;n10614436]
I think a big part of the problem is that I can’t read someone’s expression from a text conversation./QUOTE]
I’m attending a video cocktail party on Monday evening, with friends in the UK and France. I’ve had one virtual dinner party which was really good fun, though somewhat missing in the physical contact. My BO is doing regular live tutorials on Facebook so I can see horses, learn and be part of a community.
Stay safe
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I had a vet appointment and was happy to arrive to no other boarders. I had told the barn ahead of time about my appointment so they could keep an idea of who would be out.
Then someone comes with a group of five teens. I was disappointed. I don’t think (I could be wrong) that they were from the same family. I think they brought their bored friends. And went into the tack room. And tied to the hitching post. And touched a lot of stuff.
So I feel right in my decision to not go to the barn much. I only am going when needed (once every few weeks.) Like to drop of grain or this vet appointment.
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Running and walking on your rural road and working out at home are just as likely to cause injury as me riding my horses who are at home. Just about anything you do in this life has some chance of landing you in the hospital. We just need to try and play it safe while we do the things we enjoy.
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I am barely hanging on. I didn’t have any support system before this started. My horse is all I have. He’s the only reason I get out of bed in the morning. My barn started doing the schedule thing and I was fine with a weekly visit just to go give him a hug and reset my brain a little. Instead they abruptly pulled the plug with no notice. I had never gone for more than 3 days without seeing him in over 14 years, and now I have not seen him in 17 days. I am absolutely dying. I spend my days curled up on my couch crying. I can’t function. I have only gotten one damn picture of my horse in over 2 weeks from the people running the barn, and I’ve been yelled at for asking to see him. If it goes on much longer, I will not make it. My heart literally hurts. I’ve been to the doctor twice for EKGs. Neither one has been normal. I don’t know what to do other than move him to a barn that is still open which is most of them in my state.
I don’t want to hear about safety or doing the right thing, because most of the people saying that crap are the same ones running to the store every few days to buy wine, hit the plants section at Home Depot and go to the grocery store for “a few things”. I’m doing exactly what I was asked to do by my state. Stay home, only go out for necessities and it’s absolutely ridiculous that I can’t visit my horse outside with nobody around, but all the area parking lots are still full daily. It’s complete crap.
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My dear, you will not die if you don’t see your horse. You obviously believe that you will, and that is not a healthy belief.
Does your doctor know that you feel this way? You need a Dr. ASAP that will address your feelings. Please call your doctor or get a referral to a health care professional that can help you with your feelings.You are not thinking clearly.
Try to remember that there are people everywhere that can’t visit sick relatives, parents in nursing homes, and that people can’t sit with their families and friends that are dying in the hospital.
I’ve had to cancel trips to see my aged parents. They live in different states. I’ll never see my father again.
I went to the pharmacy today, it’s in a grocery store. Almost everyone had a mask or a face covering of some sort. Most everyone had gloves on. Most everyone is trying very hard to do the right thing.
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