Sheltering in place and needing barn time for mental health

[tbchick84]

@skydy

My dear, you will not die if you don’t see your horse. You obviously believe that you will, and that is not a healthy belief.

Does your doctor know that you feel this way? You need a Dr. ASAP that will address your feelings. Please call your doctor or get a referral to a health care professional that can help you with your feelings.You are not thinking clearly.

Try to remember that there are people everywhere that can’t visit sick relatives, parents in nursing homes, and that people can’t sit with their families and friends that are dying in the hospital.

I’ve had to cancel trips to see my aged parents. They live in different states. I’ll never see my father again.

I went to the pharmacy today, it’s in a grocery store. Almost everyone had a mask or a face covering of some sort. Most everyone had gloves on. Most everyone is trying very hard to do the right thing.

…and this is why I just don’t bother trying to get myself heard. My doctor did the EKGs. DUH!! He’s the one who told me to reduce my stress. My heart is literally skipping beats from the stress of not being able to see the only thing I have in this world. I’ve always had depression and know how to ride it out, but last I checked, you need a healthy heart to stay alive.

Spare me the “people everywhere are hurting” crap. At least they have people to miss. Just because the most important thing in my life is a horse and not a human, it’s apparently not valid. Humans can call each other and check in. I can’t call my horse. I can’t tell him I’m still around or video chat with him. When this is over, everyone else goes back to their family functions, picnics, sporting events, holiday parties. My life will not change AT ALL. I’m so sick of listening to everyone whine about how bored they are stuck at home without being able to see a friendly face. Try it 24/7.

Everyone isn’t doing the right thing. I work in the media and spend my days bombarded by death tolls and surge statistics, Then I go home and see the parking lots full of idiots buying shrubs and paint like this is just time off to do projects around the house to a large number of people. Forgive me for wanting to have some damn empathy.

[skydy]

@tbchick84

…and this is why I just don’t bother trying to get myself heard. My doctor did the EKGs. DUH!! He’s the one who told me to reduce my stress. My heart is literally skipping beats from the stress of not being able to see the only thing I have in this world. I’ve always had depression and know how to ride it out, but last I checked, you need a healthy heart to stay alive.

Spare me the “people everywhere are hurting” crap. At least they have people to miss. Just because the most important thing in my life is a horse and not a human, it’s apparently not valid. Humans can call each other and check in. I can’t call my horse. I can’t tell him I’m still around or video chat with him. When this is over, everyone else goes back to their family functions, picnics, sporting events, holiday parties. My life will not change AT ALL. I’m so sick of listening to everyone whine about how bored they are stuck at home without being able to see a friendly face. Try it 24/7.

Everyone isn’t doing the right thing. I work in the media and spend my days bombarded by death tolls and surge statistics, Then I go home and see the parking lots full of idiots buying shrubs and paint like this is just time off to do projects around the house to a large number of people. Forgive me for wanting to have some damn empathy.

Is your doctor not helping you control your symptoms? I am sorry you are so angry. I am concerned about you and was trying to help.

“People everywhere are hurting” is not “crap” as you put it. It’s a fact. You are not the only person that is suffering, but it seems that no one else’s suffering matters to you. No one said your feelings weren’t valid, and no, you aren’t the only person that has no family. Thankfully you do have a horse, which is a hell of a lot more than some people without family have.

I’ll make it through the best I can, but many other people are suffering very much more indeed. Even though you believe otherwise, it’s not only you.

[mkevent]

Tbchick-please read the link I shared on post 34.

It explains how everyone processes these times differently.

The stresses of this Pandemic are definitely PTSD material. There is no “wrong way” to deal with what you are feeling.

Please read the link- I think it may help.

[skydy]

@tbchick84 How are you today? I hope you are feeling at least a little better.

[EVneo]

@candyappy

Running and walking on your rural road and working out at home are just as likely to cause injury as me riding my horses who are at home. Just about anything you do in this life has some chance of landing you in the hospital. We just need to try and play it safe while we do the things we enjoy.

And that’s fine - you’re allowed to have your thoughts and I’m allowed to have my thoughts

[candyappy]

@EVneo

And that’s fine - you’re allowed to have your thoughts and I’m allowed to have my thoughts

Of course. Just don’t condemn others for having differing ones then you. A lot of people on here are telling those of us who can ride at home ( or their barns are open) that we shouldn’t ride and not being very nice about expressing their opinions about it.

[Wanderosa]

@mkevent

We are all hurting.

I think the “don’t ride” idea is a good one. I completed over 20 Prelims in Eventing on 2 different self trained horses and never broke a bone. Last year I broke my wrist doing dressage. I think that we all deep down know that it’s just a matter of time before we get an injury riding even if we don’t want to believe it. I made it until age 58 before it happened to me. That is why people are saying “don’t ride”. Because the threat of getting injured is real and why take the chance of needing emergency services during this time.

Even if I still had my farm, I would make the decision not to ride. That’s my personal take based on my particular risk aversion.

(((((((hugs))))))) to everyone going through this.

Well said. I don’t know if anyone else mentioned this upthread, but something else to consider when weighing whether or not to ride is that stress can impair your motor coordination and reaction time. The yoga studio I teach at moved quickly to switch all classes online. I think we were one of the first in the area to have close to the full schedule up and running. The owner, a 500 E-RYT taught the first test class and then called a Zoom meeting with us to discuss. Preliminary feedback from students was that the class had seemed much harder than usual. And they were right. But the thing was that she hadn’t done anything different. She actually taught the same class as she’d offered in studio the week before. It was stress response rearing its ugly head and affecting everyone’s motor coordination.

I teach mainly more physically demanding forms of yoga (Level 2/3 Vinyasa and Power yoga) It’s been tricky trying to find the right balance of challenge to offer people these past few weeks. Too much and they’re apt to hurt themselves or get frustrated. Too easy and it isn’t going to be enough for the type of students attracted to these classes to work out their stress and get to the endorphin high. And the nature of teaching online means that you as the teacher have to practice the entire class to demo. Something you wouldn’t do in the studio. It took me one class to figure out that my balance is way off. :uhoh: So I’m avoiding some stuff that I normally do well and just verbally offering it as an option.

I don’t know that there’s a right or wrong answer unless you are in an area where barns are closed by law. We’ve stopped going because my child who rides has asthma and I worry. Having two friends that work in emergency medicine and have been reporting the poor conditions at their hospitals also factored into my decision for our family. I might feel differently if we lived elsewhere. Stay safe everyone!

[DQ_Foxhunter]

@EVneo

It’s so frustrating seeing other people ignore or skirt the rules. I’ve stopped following people I see doing that on facebook and instagram. I tried giving benefit of the doubt to people who keep their horses at home, but I think it’s selfish to ride and potentially be lawn darted and need medical care during this time. Even if it’s a super close friend, they’re getting unfollowed. I just don’t want/ need to see them riding right now.

For me, walking and running outside (I live on a rural road, not going to get close to anyone) and working out at home have been life savers. Peloton and pure barre are doing 90 day free trials, so it’s almost kind of nice having time to dedicate to my own rider fitness. Cooking too - I have time to play with sourdough and make my own pasta! This also is sooooo cheeseball, but just taking a moment to appreciate that spring is coming has helped me a lot. I literally will just walk around our yard, looking at the peonies starting to poke out, or the magnolia bush that has little fuzzy pods starting to bloom.

Nice you think running and working out are such safe activities.
Lot’s of workout related injuries clog up the hospital system.
Maybe you should think about that when you judge people for riding their horses.
I am a runner and the only time I have ever been to an emergency room was a running accident, never from a horse accident.

[vali]

Husband appears to have done something bad to his knee running since the pandemic started, but he’s not sure he wants to go in for an MRI since it’s unlikely they would do surgery right now even if it is an ACL tear. Older daughter just got banged up slipping off a trail and landing on a rock while hiking. I’m still riding. Our state issued guidance explicitly allowing horse owners to exercise their horses if they can maintain social distancing, and our state has been pretty effective at shutting down early and slowing down the curve. We don’t have much turnout here in CA and our barn provides hay but not grain or bedding, so I need to go out in any case.

[skydy]

@tbchick84 Thinking of you and hoping you are coping as best as you can. We’re all in this together and do care about one another. Please do say how you are doing now.:yes:

A dear friend of mine had word today that he has lost 2 friends in New York to the virus. We have to hang in there for each other.

" No man is an island entire of itself, every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main…"

“…any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore, send not to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee”.

One can find either sadness or inspiration from Donne. I hope people find inspiration.

[EVneo]

@DQ Foxhunter

Nice you think running and working out are such safe activities.
Lot’s of workout related injuries clog up the hospital system.
Maybe you should think about that when you judge people for riding their horses.
I am a runner and the only time I have ever been to an emergency room was a running accident, never from a horse accident.

I’m so happy for you, that you have a safe horse that you feel safer being on than your own two feet

[Wanderosa]

@DQ Foxhunter

Nice you think running and working out are such safe activities.
Lot’s of workout related injuries clog up the hospital system.
Maybe you should think about that when you judge people for riding their horses.
I am a runner and the only time I have ever been to an emergency room was a running accident, never from a horse accident.

It depends somewhat on the types of injuries most commonly resulting from a given activity, the popularity of said activity, and age group. Barring incidents of motor vehicle or aggressive dog versus runner, most people injured running can reasonably avoid going to the ER for treatment. For activities like bicycling and horseback riding where head injuries constitute a significant portion of reported injuries avoiding the ER is frequently not an option.

Like I stated somewhere upthread I think it’s up to the individual to weigh the risks for any activity for themselves, barring violation of state or local emergency orders.

[iris2006]

@tbchick84

I am barely hanging on. I didn’t have any support system before this started. My horse is all I have. He’s the only reason I get out of bed in the morning. My barn started doing the schedule thing and I was fine with a weekly visit just to go give him a hug and reset my brain a little. Instead they abruptly pulled the plug with no notice. I had never gone for more than 3 days without seeing him in over 14 years, and now I have not seen him in 17 days. I am absolutely dying. I spend my days curled up on my couch crying. I can’t function. I have only gotten one damn picture of my horse in over 2 weeks from the people running the barn, and I’ve been yelled at for asking to see him. If it goes on much longer, I will not make it. My heart literally hurts. I’ve been to the doctor twice for EKGs. Neither one has been normal. I don’t know what to do other than move him to a barn that is still open which is most of them in my state.

I don’t want to hear about safety or doing the right thing, because most of the people saying that crap are the same ones running to the store every few days to buy wine, hit the plants section at Home Depot and go to the grocery store for “a few things”. I’m doing exactly what I was asked to do by my state. Stay home, only go out for necessities and it’s absolutely ridiculous that I can’t visit my horse outside with nobody around, but all the area parking lots are still full daily. It’s complete crap.

If I were you, I would move my horse. This could go on for a long time and it is unreasonable to not be able to visit and ride your horse if you are taking precautions to not get yourself or anyone else sick.

I am sick to death of people who are guilting the people who are still riding. Are all of you with all the advice having groceries delivered instead of going to the store, not going to Home Depot and staying home from work and away from ALL people?

[mkevent]

Yes. Many of us are doing all these things where possible.

In my area, curbside pickup is two weeks out so sometimes trips to the store are necessary.

Many people I know are doing their best to flatten the curve.

When I broke my wrist, I didn’t ride for 7 weeks. It sucked, but my pity party was manageable because I still got to see my horse and groom him daily. I got to watch my trainer ride him. I was involved in his care and training.

This is excruciatingly painful. Not being able to see your horse for 6-8 weeks is unbearable. Yet people are abiding by this quarantine either because they have to or they made the decision based on their particular circumstances.

Those that are able to see and/or ride their horses are extremely lucky. I wish they realized how difficult this is for those that can’t do that.

[Garythesquirrel]

@iris2006

I am sick to death of people who are guilting the people who are still riding. Are all of you with all the advice having groceries delivered instead of going to the store, not going to Home Depot and staying home from work and away from ALL people?

I’m currently not riding because of the virus and not wanting to take a chance of being injured, my horses are at home.

The last time I was in a store was March 12th, Mr Squirrel has been working from home for the past 6 weeks, the last time we ate out was March 6th, and we do stay away from all people, we haven’t been within 20’ of another person (outside) in weeks.

I’m not giving advice or trying to guilt anyone though, one size doesn’t fit all.

[xeroxchick]

@Wanderosa

Well said. I don’t know if anyone else mentioned this upthread, but something else to consider when weighing whether or not to ride is that stress can impair your motor coordination and reaction time. The yoga studio I teach at moved quickly to switch all classes online. I think we were one of the first in the area to have close to the full schedule up and running. The owner, a 500 E-RYT taught the first test class and then called a Zoom meeting with us to discuss. Preliminary feedback from students was that the class had seemed much harder than usual. And they were right. But the thing was that she hadn’t done anything different. She actually taught the same class as she’d offered in studio the week before. It was stress response rearing its ugly head and affecting everyone’s motor coordination.

I teach mainly more physically demanding forms of yoga (Level 2/3 Vinyasa and Power yoga) It’s been tricky trying to find the right balance of challenge to offer people these past few weeks. Too much and they’re apt to hurt themselves or get frustrated. Too easy and it isn’t going to be enough for the type of students attracted to these classes to work out their stress and get to the endorphin high. And the nature of teaching online means that you as the teacher have to practice the entire class to demo. Something you wouldn’t do in the studio. It took me one class to figure out that my balance is way off. :uhoh: So I’m avoiding some stuff that I normally do well and just verbally offering it as an option.

I don’t know that there’s a right or wrong answer unless you are in an area where barns are closed by law. We’ve stopped going because my child who rides has asthma and I worry. Having two friends that work in emergency medicine and have been reporting the poor conditions at their hospitals also factored into my decision for our family. I might feel differently if we lived elsewhere. Stay safe everyone!

Our local yoga instructors have switched to online yoga and it has been an absolute godsend. So thank you! Hey, if it is hard then I can kinda do child’s pose because hey, who will know? Also, fell off riding a simple three cross rail grid when my spooky mare spooked. My husband was furious since why would we go to the hospital now? But I was fine, just a few bruises, she is keeping me honest. Did make me step back and think a bit. Stil hacking around the property though. I do appreciate that we have some small property and it makes self isolation easyer. Much easyer. And we don’t leave the property, only twice in six weeks to get groceries and feed. Shout out to all the feed store people who have made it easy to drive up, order and get loaded up with minimal contact.

[skydy]

There is a foot of snow here. Staying home is easy today.

[walktrot]

I have bipolar and ADD (inattentive) and there are several people who know that including the BO. She closed the barn on 4/2 claiming it was ordered by the state. It wasn’t and the office of the state vet confirmed it. It is so CLOSED that I got a nasty text and her younger son running out to ask me what I was doing there. Dropping off supplements and grabbing my saddle to clean. They could have been polite. She said she would let us know when she could open. That hasn’t happened.

I was devastated at the thought of leaving him with no chance of seeing him for a month. Our farrier, also with us for 19 years, reset a shoe in the afternoon on 4/1. I asked her to put him out because I couldn’t do it. I left. I couldn’t talk for several days. The BO’s videos are supposed to help us cope. I can’t watch them partly because I have yet to see him other than in a few head shots. I can pick out his bald face. What got me feeling better was deciding to look for a new barn after 19 years. When she formally threw me out I had a new barn. I let her know I wanted to leave that weekend, not an unreasonable request under the circumstances. She told me she was CLOSED and she would contact me when it was possible to be open. Then she said that the barn would be closed at least through 5/1 if possible and maybe even 5/15. My horse is 25 and he needs what we will get at the new barn. Smaller, peaceful, and footing dry as a bone to start with. She told a close friend she was concerned about me but I’m having a hard time believing her. I got a check-in call from the local PD. Yes I’m okay and taking my meds…

There are several people who have already left and 3-4 more on the way out. The lesson program is shut down so she needs the income from boarders to support the school horses. Her behavior is becoming more erratic. She may have a brain injury from stoke years ago, but she is driving people away including long-term friends like me…

What I have learned is that the state’s department of agriculture is classified as essential, and it includes boarding facilities. The guidance and governor’s order specifically exempt barn workers from the stay-at -home order. Owners’ care is an essential personal activity. The 6’ distance and 10 person meetings require compliance. The barn and indoor are 24,000 sq.ft. We could do the 6’ distance without huge problems.

The other big problem is getting horses and personal possessions out of there. She has no right under the law to deny us access to our possessions. We are working on that, and the activity helps me cope.
.

[KarenRO]

walk trot, I just read your post. Very few stay-at-home orders specifically address equine facilities. Some states flag equine facilities (see MN, CT and NY as examples). Regardless, as you note, horses are considered livestock and equine facilities fall under the category of agriculture and animal husbandry, which are considered to be essential businesses.

It would be interesting to hear from barn owners who closed their barn why they did so. Were they unable to work out a schedule with boarders to maintain social distancing? Were they unwilling to do the recommended sanitizing protocols? Did they give their boarders sufficient notice about the closure so that boarders could have moved their horses to another facility? I am fairly certain that denying access to personal property (horse) is illegal.

[candyappy]

I want to know why alcohol is an essential item.

@tbchick84 I hope your restrictions are lifted soon so you can get back to the barn. I really think for you it is essential.