From Reddit: “So anyway, my horse got one of those apple-shaped snack holders stuck in his ass this morning.”
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Now I’ve seen it all 
.
This is what can happen when you give your bored horse a sex toy. 
Horses do masturbate, but y’all already know that.
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I’ve never seen a male horse masturbate like that, and since it seemed to just be caught under his tail, the OP on reddit was exaggerating just a wee bit. 
If you’ve ever introduced a horse to a crupper, you know things can possibly get a bit western the first time you put one on, a likket is a lot bigger, so even more cause for a rodeo.
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My Hackney pony masturbated a lot. He was a gelding, but wasn’t gelded until he was ten. I think he was used for breeding before that. I got him when he was 22. He definitely knew what was what, because he mated with my mare more than once. You can imagine the phone calls from the neighbors. Worst of all, the mare was 15.2 while the pony was 12.2. She would stand downhill from him and say "OK, now!’
Rebecca
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I seriously thought about adding a disclaimer (stating this is a joke) to my sex toy comment , but I thought to myself, “Self, surely no one here on COTH will fail to realize it is a joke.” But by God, I have been proved wrong. And in almost real time, too.
But as posted above, horses do masturbate; the jocularity attempt was referring to the apple as a sex toy.
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Some of us have had a hard long day at work, so excuse me if I didn’t get your sense of humour the way you meant it. I guess you missed my ;). Sorry if you missed it. So happy you can feel all speshil.
ETA I’d just found out a friend of mine died last year, so your humour might have flown right over my head.
Yep my first time at a TB stud farm and 'What’s THAT? ’ – the brush belt!
There’s something in the air because I’ve had a couple posters whomping on me when I made a slice at a group that they felt they must defend. It ruins the humor if it has to be explained. I thought your post was hilarious!
Animals are like kids, they do the craziest things. 
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On a serious note, this shows why you shouldn’t have stuff hanging in the stall, and boy do I hate those bars on the front.
At the risk of starting something…
Why be hating on the bars?
I’ve got them on my stalls. Both across the front - including the sliding doors - & between stalls.
I also confess to hanging those hunks of Himalayan salt in stalls. So far no horse has given himself a Salt Wedgie 
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That is so horse. He got himself in trouble by clamping with his tail, and then since it was uncomfortable, clamped down harder in defensive protest. Instead of simply lifting his tail.
So he gets all attitudinous and kicks, because pitching a fit is always the answer, isn’t it.
I think his tail decided on its own ‘this is stupid, I’m going to fix this right now’. Even though this meant there was no longer a reason for the horse to maintain the outrage-at-life attitude. Which he probably did anyway.
This is one of those stories that can’t be explained verbally to a non-horse person. Even if they see the video they may not believe it …
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Years ago I knew someone that lost a horse to a stall accident. The rope on a ball they hung from a cross beam got wrapped around around a hind leg and strung the horse up. He died from fighting to get free. They figured he was getting rambunctious in the stall and somehow got the rope looped onto the leg.
I have seen three separate horses in three separate barns put a hoof through the bars. Damage to hoof and fetlock on all of them
A guy that was starting up a small tb training barn in N CA had all the bars removed because he was afraid of the same thing happening. Young tb’s can be really playful!
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I had to search apple shaped horse treat holder as I never heard of it. Learn something new every day.
That’s horrific 
But, horses gonna Horse & if there’s a way to get hurt, they’ll find it.
When I boarded, I came out one Sunday for a lesson.
So horse had not been turned out that morning.
He came to greet me with a 6" slice out of his upper lip.
We searched the stall, not a drop of blood anywhere/on anything, no obvious sharp edges…
Emergency vet took 6 stitches to close it.
I remember watching & mentally calculating $50 per stitch*
- Early 90s, I wasn’t far off
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I saw a terrible lip cut, rip really, from a water bucket. The metal hoop that goes from handle to bucket edge. According to the vet it is a common injury. I started taping the hoop, it made it so you couldn’t put the handle down but that didn’t matter because it hung from a wall device anyway.
The owner of the horse didn’t change a thing in her stall 
We checked the bucket for that very reason & not a sign that’s what did it.
Still, may have been 
Horsepersons’ Sayings:
Horses are born looking for ways to kill themselves
Horses: designed by a Committee
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I think some horses just don’t have the ‘look out for yourself’ gene. I bought a young mare that had been injured, and for the rest of her life she managed to always be the one that got hurt. None of the other horses would have a scratch on them.
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A friend’s mare was described by her vet as The Poster Child for Merck’s Veterinary Manual 
I’ve been {knockwood!) fortunate of the 7 I’ve owned only 2 were lost to Mysterious Illness/Injury.
The healthiest of my current Herd is the 24yo Hackney Pony.
Not a single big vet bill in the 14yrs I’ve had him.
SPIT! PTOOEY!! Warding off the Evil Eye! 
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2Dogs-- the bars must be close enough together to prevent a hoof from becoming trapped when horse kicks, bucks or rolls and a foot hits the bars. Same deal with hay racks and nets. I hate all of those! Far too many horses get shoes caught on hay nets and feet stuck in bars of all kinds. I prefer to eliminate the potential vet bills and career ending injuries in stalls if I can.
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