I only followed the thread sporadically on your horse and, being the eternal optimist, assumed that you would report his improvement and recovery. I’m so sad that your news is that you had to put Seger to sleep. I certainly don’t have the right words to express how sorry I am for you and him, but it’s clear from the other posts that you have a lot of support here and people who feel for you. I hope that helps you at least a little bit.
Have you ever been to a horse auction? I’m not talking Sippin’ Mint Juleps while the $150,000 Yearlings are paraded by for all to see-I’m talking the last stop before the ‘Knackers’ (in fact, most of the Knackers are usually there bidding $.85/lb). Well, if you have and you love horses-it’s horrifying. I don’t think I could ever go back to one unless I was BUTT RICH and could buy ALL of them.
My Point here is that there are MANY folks who feel that horses ARE disposable and when they feel they’re no longer useful-they just “toss 'em out”. Most of the people on this BB would NEVER do such a thing and have a completely different mentality regarding preserving the health and relationships with our Equine buddies.
I would like to submit that EVERYONE posting on this thread would never ‘give up’ on their horses and would ALWAYS try to do what was best.
So, it seems to me that some of the very same folks who can demonstrate this incredible amount of care and compassion for their horses, somehow turn in to a Dr. Jykll/Mr. Hyde when they have posted on this thread.
It’s been said already, but I have to agree-it’s not right to say ONE NEGATIVE WORD or QUESTION M-J’s Intentions, Thought Process or Decision. regardless of whether it was made public on this BB. In any case what does it really matter what the illness was? I know people are curious-Jeez that’s why the ‘Enquirer’ is the most read Newspaper in America-but none of that stuff really matters does it?
I don’t know MJ at all, but it sure seems like she cared very much for that horse and wanted what was best for it. We all may disagree on what “The Best” is, but it wasn’t our horse, it was hers.
Furthermore, I don’t think there are too many Vets who casually break out the Euthanasia Drugs and recommend that they be used without VERY CAREFUL consideration.
Yes, part of what Vets do is help our Buddies pass on when it’s time, BUT-that is usually after all other measures have been taken. Most Vets I know would just LOVE to run every test under the sun, try all kinds of therapies and drugs and basically throw me into Bankruptcy (which of course I would agree to), to do whatever was necessary to make things better.
Again, I don’t know the Vet, but I’m gonna bet that he is like most of the rest of them who is gonna try to ‘fix it first’.
I don’t want to offend anyone who has posted here. If I have, I apologize in advance. I just think it’s time to let the whole subject go and let MJ try and get on with her life.
Touche, thank you for posting.
I just wanted to say that when we are young, most of our attitudes and our ability to make decisions and to cope come from our parents. We learn from them. So, in this case, it seems pretty likely that M_J’s parents are of the “oh well, we do what we can” variety, when they clearly do NOT do what they can… they might be people who really either do not know how to get or ask for help, or explore options, or who consciously or subconsciously choose not to, for a variety of reasons. This is a behavior that M_J can certainly unlearn. She’s only 16. Counseling would be a great place to start. Reaching out to the other horse people in her neighborhood is an even better place to start. If you need help, in anything in life, you HAVE to first know that you need help (which M_J seemed to), and then ASK for help, and finally, ACCEPT help. You can not sit around playing “poor pitiful me” without sometimes fatal consequences, as she just learned. Manipulative behavior, whether conscious or not, almost always ends up coming back to haunt the manipulator. You have to realize that the world, right here on this BB for example, is full of compassionate people who truly WANT to help, and WILL help. If Vet A can not come, you HAVE to get Vet B even if he/she’s not your first choice. You HAVE to ask someone with a horse trailer to get you a ride, even if you have a lot of pride. Where there is a will, there is a way–if something matter enough to you, you will find a way to do it.
M_J, if nothing else, I hope that Seger’s tragic death has taught you the importance of exploring all of your options, and being willing to accept help, and that as valuable as online friends can sometimes be, when things matter most, it is the people around you who can actually help. I hope you have learned what your priorities should be–as a teen, perhaps with unsupportive parents, I know that can be hard, but if there is ever a choice between a life and a pair of concert tickets, for example, life should ALWAYS come first. Please, learn how to reach out in the real world, and how to ask questions, and know and admit when you are in too deep.
Did you read this thread?
M_J’s post about parents trying to give the horse away
Just food for thought.
Musical Jumper, my sympathies and {{{hugs}}} on your loss. I hope you may take some comfort from the writings at the link, and below.
http://www.petloss.com/poems/poems.htm
“We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan.”
Irving Townsend.
FW, great post, I agree. 
Having been to the auction and seen the condition of some of the horses brought in, it amazes me that there are always some so emaciated that only the killer is going to buy them.
The killer basically bids the going rate per pound for horseflesh. Why people will wait until the value of their animal drops so low to take it to the sale is beyond me.
Guys, I think you are getting way out of line now. Coco, I’m sorry you had to go through that, but there is not evidence to suggest she was simply doing this for attention.
You are reaching conclusions and making statments without having ever meet M-J. These are exacly the comments that Erin was trying to get us to stay away from.
Yes, she did something wrong, so wrong that it shocks and hurts all of us. Especially because she asked for our help.
But to reach those conclusions from the evidence, what are you trying to do? “I think” and “I suppose” have no place on this board. You don’t know what she was thinking, none of us do, so how can you be so sure THAT is what she was doing?
Valerie
~VWiles02@yahoo.com~
Valerie’s home page
MJ> I’m so sorry for your lose, my thoughts are with you and Seger tonight. He knew you loved him and your lucky to spend his last moments together.
About the concert I think it’s up to you if you feel like going or not. It would probably be a good thing to go and have fun, celebrate his life. He knows he was loved and you definatly wouldn’t be letting him down or care any less if you went.
<It’s all part of my ninja training 
>
I am sick about this. I truly appreciate your courage in posting this.
ETBW
I shouldn’t have posted that & I edited it out…I was out of line.
While you are probably having lunch right now, us Westerner’s are just getting up!! 
I agree COTH is the TOP OF THE HEAP!!!
Thank you Erin!!! 
I am so sorry. I was reading all the posts waiting to find out just WHY he was put down. When I found the post you wrote about the actual day and moment you put him down I got tears in my eyes, even though I hadn’t read the former threads following the whole story. I could NOT even imagine what it must feel like to lose someone so close… horses do so much for us, emotionally too. I wish you the best. Condolences.
That e-mail was written the evening of the incident when I was still very freshly angry after checking the COTH BB and seeing that MJ had ignored my order for her ot stay off. The e-mail in question was written privately to the BB monitor AFTER MJ ignored my order for her to stay off. I felt the monitors should know the truth and had asked if they could block messages from MJ. They can’t. I also gave the monitors permission to forward that letter onto anyone whom they thought needed to see it. Had MJ listened, I would never have had to let anyone know. As you can see, I did not want to make it a public discussion. Have you read the part about me willing to make any apology to anyone if I am wrong??? Did you also see the part where I said that I do not hate MJ? I am waiting for MJ to show me a written statement from the Vet. MJ knows that I will not get into a bickering match with her until I see the report, and niether will I with you. Until then, I have nothing left to discuss with you.
good post and I would just like to extend my apologies to anyone who posted in the past few days who I accused of being too hard on MJ. While I still don’t think some of the comments were helpful, I understand the pain and anger felt by the posters. I am glad that you, unlike me, were not blind to the BS and had the guts to call her on it. My father didn’t call me the champion of the underdog for nothing I guess. Feeling a little less naive today and again, I apologize.
Behind every good woman lies a trail of men
The COTH boards were the first BBs I experienced. Imagine my shock, surprise, and dismay when I branched out to other boards, where anonymous postings were permitted! The name calling, the virulent hatred! Gosh you could see the spittle on the screen!
The Saga of Seger & MJ reminds me that although we have screen names, and stable (no pun intended) personas that accompany them, we are still only one dimentional on these boards. We are what we write, relying on emoticons to ensure that the meanings of the words are properly received. Because the overwhelming majority of us are nice, friendly, mature people (of all ages!) we do not come on here deliberately misstating facts, or outright lying about ourselves, our horses, or our past experiences. I’m sure some embellishment takes place. But that occurs in real time too.
Like with the hoaxes on other sites (the man who posted as a woman w/ a daughter who developed cancer and received email sympathy, snail mail sympathy AND MONETARY DONATIONS) the good, honest (which makes us gullible) people on this board get just a bit ‘tetchy’ to use Duffy’s word when we find we’ve been lied to, our sympathies played on (like a violin!) and then (because honest people always feel guilty) we must dissect the situation so we will never let it happen again.
Well, guess what folks. It will happen again. It is the nature of the beast that the dishonest continually try to bring the honest down to their level. What can we do?
We can be good horse trainers. A good horse trainer NEVER forgets what a young horse is capable of, good AND bad. S/he never holds it against a horse when it acts naturally (bucking/rearing/spooking) and punishes more than necessary (that would be non-productive retribution)but s/he NEVER FORGETS that the horse that has done it once, can/may/will do it again! S/he doesn’t expect them to misbehave again, but knows it may happen and is ready for it.
Or as James T. Kirk said, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on ME.”
~Kryswyn~
“Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo”
This whole situation has bothered me alot. I won’t post my feelings on the subject, but I keep wondering if anyone else is feeling the same way. It now seems that with the tragic end to the story, that any other discussion is now taboo.
While the details may hurt to discuss, I think a clear explanation of the facts would really help some of us feel at peace about Seger’s death. While the romantic ideas about Seger running around in horse heaven are nice, I think it is a shame that he is not running around down here on earth.
Please don’t flame me for this…I too am having some horsey health issues and I oversensitive about the suffering of any horse.
2 Likes
What we say here does not help, and could very probably hinder finding help for MJ.
I’m not going to close this thread, I’m going to leave that to Erin, if she so chooses.
But please, remember that we are dealing with a 16 year old child here, not a hardened criminal. She CAN most probably be helped.
Take it easy and go hug your horses. They are all very lucky creatures.
that some of our juniors are more mature than several of the posting adults. Excellent reflective post ErinB - and very mature of Clipclop to apologize. When I read posts such as these, my spirits are lifted. Heidi is correct - please don’t become cynical at such a young age, but be aware that deception is easy in cyberspace.
There is a long way between the book knowledge of Knowdown & caring for a horse. When I was 9 or 10, I got a horse. I had taken riding lessons since I was 4 & I was a reader–read every horse book I could get my hands on.
This was about 1953 in upstate (central) New York State, which is very cold (below zero for weeks at a time) and snowy. My parents knew basically nothing about horses, also. My father had lived on a ranch in Arizona as a boy (in the 1920s) but that was many years before in a very “rough & ready” environment & he had not been responsible for caring for the horses.
I am sure the elderly mare they bought me suffered that 1st winter. I am not totally sure why but they took a gelding from the same people–I think boarding it might have “paid for” the mare. He would bite her & drive her from the hay & none of us knew to put out many piles far apart. We did know she was getting thin & we realized she had big patches where she was bitten. A neighbor realized the mare was thin & called the state police who looked at her & told the neighbor they thought she was just old so nothing immediate was done. My parents did get the gelding out of there as quickly as possible so the mare could eat. But it was still obvious as spring came that she was not well–thin with patchy hair loss.
I was fearful because I knew my parents had little money but I did bug them until they got the vet out. Of course, then we learned about tooth floating & worming (tube worming 2x a year in those days) and other aspects of horse care. The mare did not live out her life luxuriously (I never owned a blanket) but she did get good food, worming, dental work, etc.
Most of the books from those days covered such things as how to ride, select tack, etc. but not much real specifics on horse care. When I went to college, we had the mare euthanized because I did not want something bad to happen to her so she lived many years after we bought her, even though she was well into her teens at the beginning.
All horse people have to learn, some of us by hard experience because we don’t have knowledgeable friends & relatives available. Fortunately, the vet my parents got was excellent. He was Dr. John Steele & I have seen him mentioned in the last couple years in the Chronicle as a show horse vet. He used to care for Standardbreds. When Niatross was the greatest pacer on the track, Dr. Steele was his vet.
This thread has brought back many memories of growing up, some good, some bad.
