Barn owner was not onsite. Was notified by phone and test as situation progressed
Yes, I meant that it would be weird not to involve an on-site BM, but also sort of weird to involve an off-site BO. I was more commenting on some above posts saying that it’s nobody’s business when you euthanize a horse except to notify them about disposal. I find that really odd! But none of my boarders would even consider that, we have a close-knit group.
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Fair enough.
I put down my 28 y.o. gelding in July. I set a date about a week after the vet said it was time… I had left a barn after 20 years because the BO was developing a significant health problem. My horse wasn’t getting the care he needed. I was able to move to a terrific place near home for his last 18 months. About the best BO you will find anywhere. I knew the farm had just gone on the market but it was the only place that had what he needed. Of course it sold 90 days later. Woman with a million bucks wanted to try the farm life. She knows how to run a business. She knows how to ride. Resume ends there. She knows nothing about horse care. Doesn’t know what a barn manager does. This was the second horse they put down. At one point I had to tell her euthanizing a horse isn’t organizing a barn event. She should be helping the horse owner through a tough few days. I sent her a somewhat nasty email a few days later. I knew I our paths would not cross again. Here are the beginning and end.
"My first suggestion is that you go to your bedroom, lie down on the bed and close your eyes for a few minutes. Then pretend you are waking up and the only thing you can think about is putting your beloved horse down in a little while.
“BO, if you are going to own and operate a farm that boards horses, you have a lot to learn. You are fortunate that you didn’t have any colic or choke with your 30 bales of hay from xxxxxx. The dust was most likely mold, and you shouldn’t have fed it. Regarding my complaints, I guess you didn’t stop to think that maybe you could learn something. My horse was on free-choice hay from 6/6/2001 – 2/28/2021. No one rationed flakes until you did. If someone makes too many complaints about something, ask yourself why. I hope it works out for the horses’ sake.”
She had backed off a bit. I still had to pick between the manure pile or the dumpster. I don’t know why the grass by the gate was out. My horse was well-known in the area and few dozen people came to say goodbye. That helped me a lot, as did the vet. The one thing I chuckle about was his tail. By the time everyone got their little piece it was gone all the way up to the bone.
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So sorry for your loss, OP. May your memories give you some comfort as you grieve your loss.
I dealt with a fairly emergent and unexpected euthanasia of a horse this summer. He was retired but happy and healthy, and we were together for nearly two decades. He was boarded at a barn that is pretty low-key and there isn’t really a BM. The BO happened to be away on the day that it happened, and while I kept her apprised of the situation and my plans, her only response was to offer her regret/condolences and to offer me to bury him on site. She did request a certain location for the euthanasia, with which I didn’t comply due to the long distance I would have had to walk my very lame horse, but I did choose a location that was easy to access for removal and out of the way of others (not my first rodeo). My primary concern was not causing any more distress to my horse than necessary, and I think had the BO been present, she would have agreed.
Regarding the side discussions on this thread- I think it’s reasonable for a BO to know your plans, have input on location (while being reasonable), and request a timely removal. When I have handled euthanasias as a BM in the past, I have done what I can to mitigate stress and the impact for all- including asking boarders to stay away from the area, postponing lessons, etc. There were times that I was also very attached to the horse, but professionally, it’s the BO/BM’s job in those situations to step up for the horse owner, and grieve later. Scheduled euthanasias are much easier to work around, but there is enough to deal with (both logistically and emotionally) during an emergency euthanasia without needing to worry about little Susie arriving for her lesson and being traumatized by seeing a horse go down. Since these situations are (fortunately) relatively rare, I think it is absolutely reasonable for a BO/BM to run interference, even at the mild inconvenience of other clients. Each one of us will have a turn eventually, and we will appreciate the courtesy when that day comes.
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OP, you did nothing wrong and everything right. I am a BO, my husband and I run a nationally known retirement farm, so we deal with euthanasia and all of the decisions around that more routinely than the average BO. I would be very upset if someone decided to euthanize a horse without discussing it with me as I need to be in charge of logistics (where it is done, how the body is handled, etc), but otherwise the horse is not mine and the decisions by the owner need to be respected. I’ve been lucky in that any time a decision needs to be made, all parties involved (us, boarder, vet) have all been on the same page and open in communicating with each other, exactly as you were. I’m sorry you have this extra unhappiness on top of losing your horse. I hope you find peace, and please know you did everything right for your horse.
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I just wanted to come back and thank everyone for their support. It helps. I’ve had horses for 53 years and like many, have had some painful losses. But, I’ve never been through anything like this. From sound and healthy to gone in 4 days. It’s a process, but each day is a tiny bit better. She’ll always have a special place in my heart.
For those who are curious. A second test was run on the suspected positive and it came back as negative. Apparently, it was a false positive. All her bloodwork was normal, tests for multiple possible diseases were negative, with the exception of the one initial moderate positive. And as of this date, BO has yet to return my call.
.
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So sorry for your loss. Please know you did the right thing for your mare. [[[Hugs]]].
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I’m sorry for your loss and that a sad ending was made even more difficult from your BO.
I have heard of such a thing a few times, and it makes me quite angry.
IMO, it doesn’t matter if the BO is offsite or on-sight and does or doesn’t have veterinary training. If they’re not the professional veterinarian you’re paying for professional help/opinion, it’s really not their place to expect “permission” for someone to euthanize their own horse. That decision is between the horse’s owner and their attending veterinarian. At most, the BO can specify where the procedure should be done for ease of removal.
Very sorry for your loss, OP.
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I am so sorry for your loss.
We who have made it into our 70s deserve better than to have to deal with little sh!ts like this SO.
I am sorry for the loss of your dear mare and the trauma of the unexpectedness of her loss. It sounds like she had a good life being your horse and was fortunate to have such a kind and loving human.
May she rest in peace and may you get some peace with your trainer away from this SO and her barn.
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People can say whatever they want but that doesn’t make it legal. No one can tell you what you can and can not do with your own animal except in regards to your being on their property. Not only do you not need the stable owner’s (or anyone else’s unless the horse is co-owned) permission, the stable owner can not consent to medical care including euthanasia unless your contract specifically gave them that authorization where they could make decisions if you were unable to be reached.
Sorry this person made a hard situation worse but I wouldn’t give it a second thought.
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I would say doesn’t matter.
- unless the BO was a part owner of this animal, they have no right to the medical records or to be discussing the situation with the vet. (not sure why owner shared unless there was a reportable disease involved)
- I would be telling my client exactly why I was no longer willing to service her animals if they were at that facility if a BO stepped out of line with me like that on a call, or afterwards.
OP you did nothing wrong and previous posters suggesting that you not talk to the SO about this are in the right track.
I had an SO get mad at a friend and I because when another boarder’s horse was injured (had a puncture wound in its’ face) that looked like it would need a vet call that we called the owner of the horse before someone let her know. She was a 90 minute drive and the owner was 10.
People are wierd.
Just to clarify. The owner was informed by phone immediately when symptoms and initial diagnosis was made (via phone call as she is residing several states away). The horse made a significant decline within 72 hours and BO was notified by text message. BO did not respond.Decision to euthanize was made within the hour and BO was again notified by text message. In fact, BO told us where NOT to euthanize. My mare was put down in a secluded area, covered with a blanket, coolers hung on the fence so she was not visible and cars parked along the fence to block any view by casual drive bys. This is a fairly residential area and we did everything we could to keep this private and unseen.
It all hit the fan afterwards. And my horse’s remains were promptly removed from the property (within the hour).
Fortunately I and the barn I boarded with are out of here tomorrow. I’m still not in shock over my maths loss of my mare. Despite numerous test, there is no concrete reason why a healthy 17 year old mare, who recently had her yearly blood work, could go from sound and healthy to crucially ill with 20 hours.
Again, sorry for the length of my post, but I’m still trying to come to terms with this. Thank you to everyone who responded. It helped
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I was very briefly at a barn where I found out vets, farriers, hay and feed suppliers refused to come becuse the BO/BM was so nuts. She seemed fairly normal on the surface but she was so rude, argumentative and unreasonable with people that no one wanted to deal with it.
