THIS!!!
Or unfortunately, you have to switch to the total opposite spectrum to get the point across. I hate being that part of me 
No. My comments are absolutely not restricted to that situation. They apply very well to many rail bird situations. Why are you trying to minimize the value of what I had to say?
I mean, the problem is that you arenāt going to take this personās advice so they are just yakking at you and taking up your time. Thatās rude, even if the person isnāt meaning it to be. Some people are like that, though!
We have a person who trailers in to use our indoor during the winter who will.not.shut.up.ever. Sheās a bad rider, to be honest, but thinks she knows a lot, and likes to tell some of the less advanced riders what to do when our trainer isnāt around. She has a young, green, giant draft x who is now in full training at the barn because the mare turned into a big bully and the owner got more and more scared of her. And yet, this person tried to give one of our advanced beginners a dressage lesson the other day!
She doesnāt ever try to give me advice, I guess because Iām one of the handful of advanced riders at our barn, but she wonāt stop talking. It goes against everything I believe in about being polite but Iāve learned that the only way to deal with it is to actually just walk away, or keep riding and not respond. Itās awful. 
When she was still riding the draft x by herself she would often follow me and my horse around the ring, talking, and getting too close. My guy is a well-mannered dude but he is NOT one who likes being crowded so I had to keep telling her to back away so she or her mare wouldnāt get a hoof in the face. She said: āOh, Iām sorry, but I canāt get her to move unless she follows another horse!ā and then kept following us until I was ready to do a trot. ACK LADY GET AWAY!!!
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Ohā¦ I hadnāt actually thought of thisā¦
This is actually a really great point! The horses in his program are incredible I have to admit. Just different way of training.
The saying āRoads to Romeā resonate, I may have to steal that in my next encounter. To the point but also kind of funny to deflect any negative feelings
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Yeah, Iād handle this direct or it will continue.
āI appreciate you trying to help, but Iāve done this before and Iām confident in what Iām doing. If I need your help in the future, Iāll let you know. Thanks!ā and continue riding.
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It really is an awful feeling isnāt. Iām glad to hear some have felt the same and it isnāt an anomaly.
Iām starting to understand why so many people prefer to ride alone. Being in a job that takes a lot of my time I usually resort to 6am barn time so I can get some peace away from my phone without missing everything however, riding with people can be a lot of fun too!
Oh geeze Four! Lol sorry I have to giggle at your comment but I totally understand that one too!!!
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My experience isnāt specifically in starting a baby, but my late mare had quite an unorthodox way of going that made most trainers tell me to slap on some draw reins and force her into submission. The trainer I found who worked wonderfully with her did not live nearby, so I brought him in for two weekends each year and he would give us homework to work on, and I followed the program he set for us. This inevitably led to people seeing that I was working alone the rest of the year and trying to tell me what I should do differently.
What I found worked was to talk a lot about how I was following a program, and how well my mare was coming along in that program. Just those words āIām following a program that works well for usā were often enough to get people to back down with their suggestions.
The other thing I found worked if someone was physically present while I was riding and trying to tell me what to do was to do something completely different than what they were suggesting. Youāre telling me to get on a circle? Iām going large. Youāre trying to tell me I should be trotting differently? Time for a walk break. No rudeness needed, just make it clear that you arenāt attempting to follow their instructions, and if any questions come up, just say thanks but Iām following a program that works for us.
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WHUT the Fark?!?!! 
This āpersonā needs to be asked to leave the area of the ring you are using.
Kindly, or not so.
Kindly: āThank you, but I need to concentrate on what I am doing now & will discuss your suggestions when I am through.ā
Not So: āI am going to ask you to get out of my way now.ā
I once had a barn knowitall actually walk into my longeline circle - between me & the horse on the line. While the horse was moving.
I told him GET OUT NOW!
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I did not have this problem.
I ride and train Forward Seat, mostly ala Littauer. Since almost NOBODY still rides and trains Forward Seat I am always the odd one out. Shrug.
Many riding teachers have thought I am completely uncooperative. Well, I will NOT abuse my horse (my and my horseās definition of abuse) or their lesson horse to make my riding teacher or a bystander happy. I do not care if that person āknowsā more than I do in general, I can usually guarantee that I know more about the Forward Seat, riding the Forward Seat and training the horse the Forward Seat way more than they do (and I will listen to the ones who know more about the Forward Seat than I do).
My present hunt seat riding teacher has allowed me to āteachā her Forward Seat as I ride in my lessons, the theory, the practices, why Forward Seat trainers do stuff differently, and the results we look for. Since her lesson horses usually end up LIKING my riding in spite of my MS caused handicaps and they usually end up becoming better riding horses her for other students we stopped having disagreements over 10 years ago.
In other words I just ignore the advice. They donāt know how to train for Forward Seat and I most certainly do not want to ruin the horse I am riding.
Most hunt seat riding teachers seem to have no idea about what the Forward Seat is, much less the theory and practice thereof. This is sad to me because nowadays most riders who jump horses do at least a little bit of the jump (usually the take-off) in the Forward Seat position which did not exist before Caprilli developed it over a century ago.
I do end up with a reputation of being sort of snotty. Shrug. I WILL NOT risk ruining the horse I am riding just because you have absolutely no idea of what I am doing and why.
Hey, I even broke a Paso Fino filly I had bought when I was boarding at a Paso Fino breeding farm using the Forward Seat. She was hopelessly pacey, I got her into a four beat gait, and she ended up always giving me the four beat gait in spite of what all the Paso Fino people said would happen. Her breeder said that would not happen and that I was ruining her, he was wrong.
For me Forward Seat RULES, ala Littauer, Santini, Caprilli, Dillon and Chamberlin.
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I think that is my issue as well. They donāt know me and have only seen me alone.
Good point.
Off topic, I am glad you found something that works without going to gadgets. Iāve had some really amazing trainers who I thought highly of suggest gadgets on a few of my wingy horses in the past. Itās sucks to be told to use these things instead of having suggestions how to correct the baseline issue. Good on you for staying focused!
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Wowā¦. I am honestly shocked someone would do this to you! Thatās dangerous and way too far!
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This is super interesting Jackie. I have been hunt seat and dressage for years and I havenāt heard of Foreward seat training.
Iām going to google this now so I donāt feel completely bone headed.
It could be a different name for something I know of hmmm 
It is sad that people end up having this opinion of snotty. I very much like having friends who do have a different opinion, it helps me decipher what I feel is right for me or not. Wish some of you were in my area. Loving the conversation and truly appreciate having some tools on how to deal with the situation.
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Iāve been dealing with something somewhat similar to this that has been pretty frustratingā¦ while my horse has been out of work with an injury, I started working with and riding a green pony at my barn that was just sitting in the field (her owners are kinda hands off, theyāre cool with me riding her but thatās about the extent of our communication).
Since itās not MY horse, and a couple other people in the barn have ridden her too, I often get a lot of opinions and feedback and advice about what to do with her, some I agree with and some I donāt.
However usually this conversation happens as a result of someone asking me how my ride went and me telling them honestly what went well or bad, and if I donāt feel like discussing it with that person Iām just like āit was fine:)ā. The fact that people are coming into the ring while youāre riding, unsolicited, to give you training advice with your own horse??!?!?! is absurd.
I feel like once itās escalated to that point, the only thing TO do is to be very firm and direct with this person and say, please stop trying to help me, I know youāre trying to be kind but Iāve got my own training plan and if I need help iāll ask. Set the boundaries!
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Thatās actually a very good example of the issue.
I can appreciate the advice and sometimes in the past I have gotten good tips that I use even today.
Sorry to hear your horse is injured, but glad to hear the road to recovery is on route.
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You are brand new to the barn and seem to be assuming things are as they seem, this trainer is everything he seems to be and his posse of followers kind hearted with your best interests in mind. Beware. These days its unwise to give anybody the benefit of the doubt (if it ever was wise to take everything at face value) so keep your mind open to all possibilities and stop assuming everybody means well here.
Boarded from around 1970 to 2018. Seen it all and it taught me to be skeptical at best. Suspicious at worst.
My Spidey senses are picking up some yellow flags with this guy training you whether you want him to or not and his little posse of avid supporters making you get defensive and apologetic over not following their path. Not healthy for you. Some of these people operate in almost a cult like atmosphere surrounded by their āfansā and donāt like any outsiders they canāt direct. Can create conflict in boarding situations and create a power struggle between old and new boarders/trainers.
Stop worrying about offending them and questioning YOUR choices for YOUR horse. They are out of line, not you. And you likely have at least a decade more experience on multiple horses then them. If you want to get training and pay for it, you will. But donāt feel out of sync with this group if you donāt want or need it.
Hopefully this will improve with time as you settle in and find your niche in this barn community. Get up early, stick in the ear buds and donāt apologize for or defend your choices.
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Ya think?
This guy was a āProāā¦ at least in his own eyes 
Maybe I should have let the horse wrap the line around himā¦ but at the time, my concern was for the horse.
Seriously, Nobody should be within 20ā of you while you are working a horse, from the saddle or on the ground.
Polite goes out the window when asshats endanger you, your horse & (lastly) themselves!
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āIām good, thanks!ā Say it. Then say it again. Then smile even more broadly Iām GOOD, thanks!
You are a trainer. You are training this horse and you have a plan. Imagine someone walking up to your driverās side window and telling you how to drive your car. Youād be puzzled and a bit out of sorts, but you would 100% handle it. This is not any different.
And yes, I had a complete stranger approach my driverās truck mirror to āhelpā me back my trailer. I was using my rear and passenger mirrors (not my driverās side, b/c I knew where that side was). I literally smacked him in the shoulder w/ my mirror because he wasnāt supposed to be there. I stopped and glared at him with eyebrows up and he was rubbing his shoulder saying I was just trying to help. Iām good, I said! And he goes off grumbling. Guys he didnāt ASK if I wanted help, he just ādid.ā
so bonk him in the shoulder and get on with your day.
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I have found that at every barn there are unsolicited comments. That seems to be par for the course with horse people and I try to hold mine to conversations or to things that I truly believe are dangerous (like wrapping the hand in the line or riding in a full cheek without keepers). Even then, I just suggest that they may want to not, and explain what Iāve seen.
Regarding this guy, typically I say to these sorts of people, āIām good, thanks (or something like it)ā and I move on.
I have moved barns (and even bought my own) when the unsolicited advice turned into someone grabbing my young horse and attempting to force him into submission. I was livid.
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Thank you findeight! I always very much respect your thoughts.
All of these comments have really given me some backbone to stick to my decisions. Iām not being ā**chyā I am doing whatās right for my horse.
I am definitely not one that boasts about that I know or what I have done, doesnāt feel right to me so I can see now why some people would think im being passive and yes I have to admit, on ride #6 - things arenāt even remotely pretty
Shall we insert the phrase ālook at us on ride #1 and donāt look again for 6 monthsā
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Hahahahaā¦. Love your comments 2dogs
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