nooooooo! This is a nightmare and unless you have asked for the free coaching, shut that shizz down without a second thought! Don’t feel bad. You don’t need someone talking at you and distracting you while you work on your training program!
Edited to create a complete thought, lol.
My first thought changed as I read through.
I will hazard a guess that the trainer has fallen into the idea that you don’t have much experience/don’t know what you’re doing. They are trying to get you to follow their advice once, see that it worked! and become their paying student. You probably haven’t had the chance to demonstrate your knowledge/skill/experience.
I have started a few horses at boarding barns and usually try to find a time when there’s no one around to watch (judge and criticize or advise). The last time I was so successful that most of the other boarders thought I didn’t ride him. 
The trick I’ve used to deflect railbirds in general is to say “Sorry, I’m tight on time today and I don’t have time to chat.” and then do my thing.
“Could you please not do that? I need to pay attention to my horse/don’t need any distractions/whatever…I will be glad to talk to you later, but not right now.” Period. End of sentence.
No IS a complete sentence. So is Go Away.
And those are the only two you should be using. Today.
mannnn…i’d install a gamecam and watch the stall rails and door! Anyone this pushy around me could quite possibly be sneaking treats to my horse while i’m not there.
i have little experience with barn politics except waaay a long long time ago. Currently, i haul-in for lessons. And there i pay for use of the arena and i’m in there with Coach. There are occasionally watchers, and they will direct any questions to my coach, who prettymuch shuts conversation right down. She’ll tell questioner the breed/name and that’s about it. She’s tough!
On a whole, I honestly can’t imagine anyone attempting to teach me stuff, i’m pretty off-putting just in my bodylanguage demeanor. Sometimes a person will be hanging back, kinda in the shadows and i’ll ride up to the rail where they are and ask them to please say something outloud to my horse (because spooky people in the shadows is most def noticed by my mount)
So, where i do have similar experience is in the dog-world. And in this realm i’m a pro. When new people come in, they invariably already know everything and are resistant to following advice, Because: Hey, i’ve had dogs all my life! I never ever ever insert myself and offer advice. And they don’t come to me either. I do notice that often when i’m talking quietly to a teammate about something training-related everyone stops and listens …and when i notice it, i shutUP! Many of these folks have purchased a pre-made dog and have a training program that the dog came-with and can send the dogs back to their breeder/trainer for an annual tuneup. It’s a pretty common approach now days.
The way i think of it, everybody has their own process. You can’t step in right-here and expect to patch a fix on something, because why the dog (or horse) is this way here is because of how s/he was started waay back there. My way works for me. I’m not going to ever be effective stepping in on your way, because i am not you. So, carry on. Do your best the way you know to be best…for you.
Sorry i don’t have any suggestions. I don’t know what i would do if i were you, because i don’t think anyone would be so presumptuous to invade my space like that guy. If they did, i’d make them leave tout suite
In my experience, those that offer the most unsolicited advice are typically those in the least qualified position to give it. YMMV
Great saying: don’t have a wishbone where you should have a spine. You can be direct and not rude. Your time is valuable too, how do you want to spend it?
Good luck!
" thank you . I am using a system I have developed while starting horses over the last 20 years. If I have time, later, I would be happy to answer your questions"
I would be more concerned if she were a regular! She really only comes by when something is up with the horse that the barn staff had to call her out for. It’s kinda sad but I also don’t mind not running into her.
I had this same issue last year, and was so perplexed about a couple of boarders’ NEED to feed my mare goodies all the time that I had to double-check with the COTH community that feeding other people’s horse’s treats whenever/wherever was indeed a faux-pas!
Having, arguably, the cutest fluffball at the barn has some draw backs after all 
But with respect to the railbirds, I agree with previous posters here, in particular @Scribbler …
Oh I love this. Puts you back in the position of power with that last bit.
I watch lessons / training sessions if I happen to be there while it’s going on. I would never insert my questions or advice on someone’s time with their horse. I watch because I might learn something.
On the treat giving: I used to work at a barn that the trainer was leasing for her lesson program plus she had a few boarders. One day the BO daughter came in with a bag of apples and proceeded to give every horse at least 10 of these little green apples! Regardless of whether the horse had dietary restrictions or the owner didn’t want treats fed. Talk about a recipe for colic. I went around after her and removed the apples. She thought, as the barn owner’s daughter, that gave her carte blanche to do whatever she wished. Unfortunately, the trainer was such a timid little mouse she never stood up for herself or her horses in front of the BO. She let them walk all over her.
Yep, my young mare had most of her 1st year’s worth of rides at 6 in the morning for just this reason. When we actually started riding at normal times, everyone was like “wow, she’s so good for being so green, you’ve only been on her a few weeks”… um, no, I was sparing you all from her “no steering, barely any brakes, we must DANCE!” days.
It’s nice being alone in the ring to school for lots of reasons!
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